All Comments on 'The Case of the Missing Girl'

This IS NOT a story 750 words will NEVER be a story, it's not even big enough for a police traffic report! 2** NOT GOOD!

people however are often cheap.

Funny as

Good one.

I enjoyed it.

While a bit predictable, it was rather fun!

.

4 strong ****

Nicely done - 4*

This was fun. It was a game they played. I liked it.

mega stars.

I really really liked it.

Inventive and fun and well written in the style.

What makes you think this fit under Loving Wives?

New writers are getting more ridiculous in litEROTICA.

_JuanC.

Not a LW story. Post this somewhere else.

Sweet, thank you

That was a solid fiver!

Sometimes guessing how a story will end makes the reading even sweeter. 5*

Cute and short, 4

Out fucking standing!!!

Great stuff for something so short and with a nice little twist at the end. Good fun!

Is the thumb a digit??? LOVE slap*hapy*papy#9

I really enjoyed this! Fun, cute, sweet and engaging! Would love to read more about this couple. Thanks for posting!

Nice, very nice!

*****. Nuff said.

Bravo, my good man! Bravo!!

Is it wrong to say with just a couple stories under your belt I expected something far more...for lack of a better word..cuckish? It is the flavor of the day.

Thanks for putting a really bad week at LW back on the tracks.

Cute idea !

Good one. I really enjoyed that one.

Sorry I wasted my time reading this. Missing words from sentences, added unneeded words in others, only to get to the alledged 750 words which it didn't. My MS Word count says 739 words, not 750. It was not well written, not clever or cute.

Well done.

It was obvious from the start this story had a bend to it, it was not obvious which direction it would go.

Enjoyable read.

Yeah

Nice joke. You should write in the Humor category.

Five Stars

I will never understand the 750 word nonsense the Americans seem so obsessed with.

There is no such thing as a 750 word story.

"Honey, you need to go and pick up our little girl if we want to keep on schedule for date night"

That was essentially what was written here.

It's not a story.

The same can be said for every single 750 word so called story on this site.

It's a complete waste of time and a very lazy writing exercise.

Good story. Clever ending!

5

Short, funny and to the point...4*

Wow! Is the anon below your very angry ex?

swedishreader1

750 words is the MINIMUM length Literotica's engine accepts for a story.

Someone (a damn good writer, by the way) proposed a challenge everybody making a minimalistic COMPLETE story. Many writers have taken that challenge

Clever

Had to reach for my holstered .45 there for a second. Spillane would be pleased.

Oh look, Swedish Dumbass complaining yet again about writers who actually publish their stories. *Eye roll*

Short and sweet. Five big ones. Have been a fan of Mickey for fifty years!

somewhere east of Omaha

Cute little story,I liked it. Not a bad homage to Mike Hammer at that. Okay, he could have beat the crap out of the boy or commented on the weather, but this was great.

The plot was cute, but, if you are going to complain about the difficulty of fitting it to 750 words, you need to learn not to waste them.

It read like a 500 word piece that you edited by adding superfluous verbiage.

THIS is supposed to be an ode to Mike Hammer? Poor Mickey Spillane must be spinning in his grave.

Nope. Written like it was drug through the noir cliche dictionary. While the idea was ok, the execution really dropped the ball. Not sure why you posted it here. This section is for wives having sex with others. Try the Non-Erotic category next time.

I really don’t understand all the criticism. It’s a 750 word story, just as advertised. Well written, using the vernacular of the Hammered series. good job RW!

And I recall very rarely did Sam Spade say “dame” to the dame. It was usually a thought bubble, or at most when speaking to another man. Of course, I have only the movies to go off of as I haven’t actually read any of the books.

Cute idea, though. I figured it would be, (a cute idea) but thought it would be a Golden Retriever. Until the end, of course.

Yeah, that's a stretch......

I liked it, and major props to you for doing 750. It is HARD. You got the voice down well!

Check mine out, if you like: Mortal Justice.

@Southdown

750 is not enough

This IS NOT a story 750 words will NEVER be a story, it's not even big enough for a police traffic report! 2** NOT GOOD!

It seems you know more about police reports than you do about stories.

Seeing that your story is currently rated around four twenty something, I was debating whether a 750 word story could possibly have enough in it to rate a 5 vote here or not, with my biggest inclination by far leaning toward "not." Then I read it, and "not" became "NOT expecting that!" :-O. :-D.

Great job! 5.

@etchiboy

Believe it or not, after rereading it, I agree!

*Well, that answers the 'when', dame,.." should have been "Well, that answers the 'when', beautiful,..."

"Things like the don't come cheep, dame." should have been "Things like that don't come cheap, gorgeous." (I also misspelled 'cheap' as 'cheep', the sound a bird makes)

I've also never liked the 'Mr. Private Dick' reference from the femme fatale. I should have used those three words of the 750 near the end with a 'See you soon!' In "her" remarks.

However, this is 750 words, and I wrote it in one session, from inspiration to completion, and didn't get an editor or Beta Reader firmly, which is my fault. The 750 word limit meant an editor could be problematic if heavy handed, and I just messed up not having a couple Beta Readers look at it. I had time, as it was in the draft, ready for final submission, for over two weeks before I hit Publish on the first day of the event. So, four flaws that I see, and it's all on me.

But I'm happy so many have thought this little bit was so fun. It every time I've ever read it, I hear Bogey and Bacall's voices, Bogey as the MC/narrator and Bacall as the fem fatale.

That was awesome....

Fun little piece, with a nice twist.

Our opening scenes are almost identical - is there a noir school we both went to?

Agree with ElectricBlue. Fun little piece. Thought the cadence was really good. As you noted in another comment, a bit of proofreading would have been good, but otherwise a good exercise in trying to find the voice. I think most of the flak you got was simply due to the category, rather than the content. Nice work.

Great idea!

Just fun thank you

Nice, very nice.

Very funny! Thanks

Quick and dirty, I liked it!

Funny!

Yes, Fun and definitely Mickey Funny!!

Cool story. Hahaha…

Perfect setup for the punch line, but can only work with a very brief story like this.

Got me good! Great job! Top score.

Cute story with a surprise ending. I liked it.

Nice set-up and twist, and in the right genre. Smart work.

Great humorous quick read.

Great twist, didn’t see that coming! fun little read.

Very clever.

Nice one! You cheated on the word count, though. It’s ‘nowhere’ , not ‘no where’ ;-)

Ouch! I did NOT see that one coming. But I loved it. Once again, thanks for sharing.

Five Stars

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*****Well used 750!! Thanks for sharing.