All Comments on 'The Chance at Willow Manor'

Another classic

Genius! Absolute genius. 5 stars and a favorite

Dayam. That was good

A well written fairy tale!

...I've already told you about a few errors (you'll work it out - Mr Grey, don't worry :)), but they did not detract from the story at all! Interesting. And who in the South knows the British colloquialism 'spud'?!

You Americans are so strange, having to tag stories as 'interracial romance'. Much suspension of disbelief, much loveliness.

lovely.

no one can or will deny the existence or truth behind the old stories, by this token if one can say no one must then say yes. TK U MLJ LV NV

The way you laid out the different threads of the story, and then carefully wove them all together, was brilliant. A lovely story and a great read.

Thank you, sir!

Very powerful romantic story. The first thought that entered my mind after I finished reading your story was that this deserves to be made into a feature film. Seriously. Good work. Your are quite the author.

Having had paranormal experiences of my own makes your story believable. Nicely presented without DD tits or 10 inch cock. Keep writing.

Slavery is wrong

Very much enjoyed but perhaps a bit abrupt. Arsoola came with complications which I think needed disentangling before the big reveal (which was signaled 5 minutes after Arsoola arrived - that needs fixed too). I think there were assumptions in your head that you left out - I got a sense you were bored with your story about the end of p6.

Very poetic.

I don't understand poetry, either.

Paranormal and love? You have blended them together masterfully. Great story 5*!

Very pleasant easy read . Smooth flow of character development .Enjoyed the story.

Amazing! A brilliant take on a very difficult subject executed to perfection. Wonderful concept and story, if slightly finished too quickly. Now to read some more by this author...

There are some aspects to this story that mirror events and feelings in my own life.

Thanks!!!

I agree with Ag2507. Too many questions left unanswered. Ending appeared rushed. Too many errors (Erections would came and went, to name one). You had a 5* until page six. Sorry. Still one of the best for this contest.

A very different plot from what I've read before. The ghost parts were Really different and good. Soola was good but her slutting around backstory kind of detracted from her. Would have preferred to have it be that she had a couple of short sex relationships but since no emotions she hated them whichwas one if the reasons it drove her to ted.

Overall though really great plot

Just a random observation. If ‘Jill’ was infertile & ‘Ted’ was not predating when ‘Em’ came along why was there a condom in the house?

And heart moving. I believe in ghosts. Had too many strange things happen in my life. 5

Wow! Just wow! Beautifully written!

An amazing story, I will read it many times in the coming weeks.

Perhaps you might consider ''Jill's Story'' - you'll have us in tears, but... I think many readers would like to know how he got there & the journey.

VBR / 5* / 19pvc44

As others have pointed out, there are some problems with the story that needs more editing, but it is still interesting enough to not bog down the reading. How the two spirits/ghosts combined to guide Soola to Ted was a very different twist to most stories.

The thought of Emmi running around in the nude was a little bothersome. I would rather had her wearing something, maybe a thin sexy nightgown. Nothing wrong with nudity, but it adds to the excitement when the package is nicely wrapped.

There will be those who find fault no matter what. They would've voted for the death of Christ.

For me you hit d one outta de park. I had it pretty well figured out when Emmi left. I just hung to see how you handled it. DID YOU EVER.

Wow!

What a masterful endeavor to weave together such a lovely tale of three such different women.

The "words" that Soola seemed to hear from two sources with different emotional undertones was very clever.

This tale captured my full attention from almost the beginning--probably due to idea of restoring an elegant older home.

Gotta agree with others that the last part with Soola did seem a bit too short & rushed (but that is your call & not mine).

Super job; looking forward to more such wonderful tales.

Cheers.

What a story! Yes, some additional editing is needed, but nothing that interrupted the flow. Very well presented with a very imaginative background theme. Looking forward to more of your writing! Well done!

Flowed well, I am aware of a few 'hiccups' which just raised an eyebrow. I was hooked!.

Some commenters obviously didn't remember what they had read.

I am an avid reader and know when my interests are peaked. You have definitely peaked them with this story. I love all sorts of paranormal stories that actually have a story with good characters, good plots, twists, turns and a great ending. You certainly delivered! I loved it! Please keep writing and I’ll keep reading!!

Wow. What a wonderful story. I was a little skeptical at first about the sex with a ghost, but it really worked well at the end. It was so well written that it was a bit of a tear jerker at the end.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

Thanks for your writing and the sharing of your imagination and creativity with us!

Also WOW, this isn’t the story I was expecting and I hadn’t planned on spending the day this way, but I couldn’t stop and knew I would have tears at the end. It brought back memories of my wife before she died. Maybe she made me read this.

A truly great story. I have never read another like it. Keep writing.

Damn! Now I'm going to be up late reading more of your work!! Great writing, please continue.

It’s not often that I feel compelled to re-read stories here but this brought tears to my eyes.

I enjoyed your characters and the idea of the story overall. My biggest criticism is about the way you wrote your dialogue. Your main characters talk as if they thought what they wanted to say before hand and had time to write it in note cards. It didn’t fit the spontaneous situations. The first was Ted giving Emma-Anne the explainer, essentially “21st Century 101”, and it kept on when Soola showed up. I urge you to give special attention to how people really speak in the moment.

The other thing is how quickly and easily you had these two complete strangers fall deeply in love and declare it to each other. Having them make disclaimers like, “this isn’t like me!” doesn’t really make it believable. Plus, you had an opportunity to show two complex personalities getting to know each other and growing a love. You missed it.

I agree with the others who said there were too many questions. For me it was stuff like having an uneducated slave girl become a modern woman after one night’s access to TV and internet. People don’t do Pygmalion that fast. You would have had to give some explanation of how it could, maybe something to do with being a spirit and connected with the ether? I don’t know, but you needed something that would feel plausible within the bounds of your fantasy.

And finally, the connections between the three women were really tenuous, such that I felt you had two separate stories. There are any number of more plausible and interesting ways of bringing Soola and Ted together. The Emmi part of the story wasn’t really needed. When something isn’t needed to tell a story, you should rewrite so you need it or else lose it.

Overall, 3 stars. I’ll go check out your other stuff now. Thanks for writing.

Great story. How Soola ended up there from Chicago is kinda vague, and her one night stand marathons got pretty glossed and didn't add anything to the story and frankly took quite a bit away in my mind.... Still, liked it at the end.

WOW that is all I can say about this story. Definitely more than 5 star rating 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Wonderful story - great writer!

Beautiful and lovely story. Nicely written. So romantically. Definitely a 5 star 🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫

Excellent story in every regard. Thank you!

WOW, what a good read! I would like to see more straight up love stories like this one on this sight. Definitely a 5 ⭐ effort!

There is a charm to this story that I love, there’s almost an innocence to it, but we only ever know the earthly half of the tale, I confess I’d love a follow up chapter based on Jill and Emmie Anne’s experiences, but then again, would that spoil it? Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Very, very good!

Wow! A love story, with three women, of whom two are directing the surviving husband from the grave--and all so convincing that I bought into every word! This is a real work of art.

Hans

Usually I find that stories with a supernatural theme turn me off, but this one didn't. It all fit together and made some "sense", if a ghost story can do that.

I did notice one comment about the dialog being somewhat contrived and I agree. It is very difficult to write dialog because the urge is there to make it sound "right". People don't talk in good English and whole, well constructed sentences; so any attempt to do that sounds stilted. Writing good dialog is a talent that few authors have and it doesn't surprise me that this was not a good effort. If you want to read highly stylized and entertaining dialog go to the novels of Robert Parker: the Jesse Stone series and the Spenser for Hire series. The Jesse Stone stories were made into a series of movies starring Tom Selleck and they were able to convey the Parker dialog and it is highly entertaining. The same is true of the Spenser tv series: the conversations between Spenser, Susan and Hawk are worth the price of admission.

Complaining about inconsistencies and contrived plot mechanisms in a ghost story is an effort into the ridiculous and a fool's errand. Just sit back and empathize with Emmie as she fades into the background of this tale....and enjoy. 5*

Such a beautiful heartwarming story seems like to souls were reincarnated into one it would be amazing if you continued the story like them having a baby like maybe she was unable to have children before because she was destined to have children with him and only him.

Absolutely the best ghost story I have ever read!