The Chasm and The Bridge Ch. 03

This is the third and final chapter in a series. Please read the first two parts if you have not already done so. Otherwise, this will not make much sense.

All the characters engaged in sexual activities are over eighteen, this is of course a work of fiction, and the copyright is reserved by me, N. S. Carter, and I forbid its use, in whole or in part, without my explicit permission.

When he left Greta's office on that Saturday, Jake had at first wandered aimlessly. Then, as had been his habit of old, his steps took him down to the Thames embankment. For some reason he had always found peace in watching the river slowly flow past, and now it helped him to put his thoughts in order.

He remembered how in those terrible days after Katie had been attacked and he had at first been tempted to suicide, his thoughts had turned to revenge. Katie had talked him out of it. He still recalled her words.

"If that scumbag is killed, the police won't rest until they get the perpetrator, and you will be the obvious suspect. If you go to prison I don't think I could cope on my own, so he would have succeeded in destroying what is left of our family."

Jake had had to accept that she was right. To have any chance of succeeding he would have to involve others, at the least to have them lie for him, and so risking their freedom as well as his.

Why had he not intervened when he had discovered that Julie had been appointed as PA to Henry Urquhart-Drago? It was as if he believed that his relationships were fated to end this way, as though there was a script, and it was not possible to deviate from it.

It was not as if he were the only victim. Julie was his wife and he had left her in harm's way. How could he have done that to the woman he loved? And he loved her. That he knew without a doubt. He saw her faults, her occasional unthinking selfishness, her willingness to trust men in suits, but still he loved her.

Jake had failed her. Not just in this last couple of weeks, but even earlier. He had asked so little of her, let alone demanding anything, and had kept hidden away from her both the best and the worst in him.

Why? Fear that any conflict would lead to him losing her? He recalled something Greta had once told him, back when he first went to her, about how we train the people close to us. He had surely trained Julie to receive and not to give, because she had not been like that when they first met.

Jake suddenly remembered how when they had only been going out for a few weeks he had caught the flu, and Julie had skipped her lectures and insisted on coming to his flat and feeding him tea, cleaning up his room and generally looking after him. And in a hundred small ways he had discouraged that quality in her.

It was now getting dark, and Jake had wandered along the river to a part he did not even recognise, but a decision had solidified as he went.

He would catch a train first thing in the morning and head back to Wolfsden. He still did not know how to answer the many messages Julie had sent. This needed to be done face to face. Jake had no idea if it would work out, but he knew that he wanted it to. And at the same time, he sensed it could only work if they both started to be the people they really were.

The day after her return from London, Julie got out of bed with a sense of purpose for the first time since the night her world had come crashing down. After a coffee and a slice of toast she that she had deliberately burned given that the bread had a slightly mouldy look, she went in search of her camera. It had once been her pride and joy, always close to hand in case there was a chance to make another prize-winning photo, but it had now lain at the bottom of her wardrobe untouched for more than a year.

She set the battery to charge while she showered and dressed, and then headed out into the woods, camera in hand, leaving a house that she had thoroughly cleaned the evening before to remove the evidence of her week spent in despair. Julie also left her phone behind, unwilling to deal with any more phone calls from her office and no longer believing that Jake would contact her, since he had not answered any of her messages.

Julie was aware of the irony that it had taken this disaster to get her to leave the house earlier than she would normally have even been awake, and on a Sunday of all days. Although the sun was already up, the forest was still wreathed in traces of the mist that had risen from the nearby chasm, giving it the ideal atmosphere for her style of photography.

She spotted an iridescent beetle making its way up a mossy tree stump and she crouched patiently to wait for it to reach the top, to give her the ideal shot of the beetle sharply defined against the backdrop of the murky depths of the woods behind it.

While she waited, Julie was able to think a little more clearly of her situation. The threat to her marriage was not just from the events of the last few days. On some level she had known that Jake was a huge success. After all he was the one who paid the mortgage. But she had closed her eyes to it.

Why?

She realised that it was in part to validate her life choices. Instead of studying in the area where she had a talent, in the arts and particularly photography, she had stubbornly insisted on taking a business course. She had justified it by saying to herself that she had to be practical, to be a grown up, but maybe it was from fear that she might not be good enough to succeed.

For this to work she had had to build a picture in her mind of Jake as the unrealistic dreamer, needing Julie to keep his feet on the ground. That was perhaps why she had resisted listening to his playing; it would have made it harder to persist in the idea that he needed to become a grown up, to get a job in an office, wearing a suit and tie.

The more she realised on some level the pointlessness of what she did as a job, and with it the creeping awareness that this was not who she was, the more she had doubled down on her false worldview.

The beetle reached the top and she took the photo at the one perfect moment. She did not even need to examine the result. Julie knew because this was what she did. This was the real Julie, not the woman forever trying to gain the favour of the men who were her bosses by unquestioningly carrying out pointless tasks, seeking a promotion that most likely would never come but which if it did would not make her any happier.

She walked on until she reached a clearing. A somnolent brimstone butterfly was perched on a solitary orchid in the centre, for all the world seeming to beg for a photo. Julie obliged.

She began to wonder why Jake had let her behave the way she had. Why had he not asked for the things he wanted from her?

The butterfly remained on the flower even as she approached, and she realised that the photo she thought was a lucky opportunity was nothing of the sort. She could have taken her time since it was injured and probably could not even fly.

Then it struck her.

Jake was also damaged. How could he not be with all those horrific events in his past? He had shut it all away in a box inside, but it was still there, and it meant he could not ask for what he wanted, maybe believing himself not worthy of being served by another, even if she was his wife.

If she had been the proverbial fly on the wall Julie might have taken a certain bleak pleasure from a meeting that was being held in the boardroom of her workplace at the same time she was taking photos in the woods. It had been called on a Sunday, much to Henry Urquhart-Drago's displeasure, to avoid undue attention.

Urquhart-Drago had been waiting impatiently for a week to see some results from his little manoeuvre with Julie Greville. At first it had seemed promising, with Julie's absence from work, but things had gone quiet after that and despite not being the most perceptive of men he could not help but see that people seemed to be avoiding him there.

And now he had been summoned to this meeting. Of course it was couched in polite terms but it was clear he was expected to be there, and on top of that he had been respectfully advised to bring his personal solicitor along.

When he entered the room with Martin Drake, who had now given legal advice to three generations of Urquhart-Dragos, Henry was surprised to see seated at the table, alongside that spineless wimp Peter Billson, Sir William Slant-Smythe, the chairman of the board of directors.

After the niceties, and coffee being served, Billson outlined the problem. He explained what had happened with Julie Greville, pointing out that the impression had been given that Henry had put pressure on her as her superior, forcing her to spend time with him and perhaps more. He put things delicately, carefully avoiding making an outright accusation, but the implication was clear. Billson wound up by saying,

"So, as I am sure you can see, while no doubt there is an innocent explanation for this, it does not look good, especially since Mrs Greville has not been in work and gave me the impression that whatever happened on the evening in question has damaged her marriage."

For a moment a small smirk of triumph crossed Henry's face at hearing this first confirmation that his stratagem might have borne fruit.

Then the irony hit home. In reality he had not even attempted to have sex with Julie, but he had gone out of his way to ensure that it looked as if he had. That was the whole point of the exercise.

When they had got to his house that Friday evening, he had initially just said he needed to collect something, then he had pretended there was an urgent phone call followed by him having to write an e-mail. Then he had claimed he needed to take a 'quick' shower and change out of his suit. He stretched all of this out with the aim of ideally then driving Julie back home and contriving a way to ensure Jake saw her getting out of his car.

However, when he finally went to collect Julie she was gone, having left a brief note that she had got a taxi.

The fact that Henry had not tried anything on with Julie had nothing to do with morality, and he certainly found her attractive. It was a consequence of something that had happened a couple of months earlier. He had got a girl drunk and brought her home intent on fucking her, just as he had done with many others. However, when he had got undressed, her inhibitions dulled by alcohol, and perhaps not as awed by his status and wealth as he was used to, she had laughed and said that his dick was the smallest she had seen.

Though not an introspective man, he had begun to wonder whether every girl he had been with had thought that but had not said anything out of fear, or avarice or even kindness or pity. It had begun to eat away at him, so much so that since that incident he had not been naked in front of a woman.

That said he had also sensed that foolish as Julie Greville had seemed, there was no way she would betray her husband.

There was an expectant cough from Slant-Smythe. For the first time he spoke.

"You know, Henry, given what I have been told about your insistence on Mrs Greville being assigned as your PA, despite her evident reluctance, as well as the way in which you implied to a Miss Carol Edenfield that she could expect a promotion if she carried out certain favours in this regard, you must realise that you have placed both yourself and this company in a precarious legal situation. I do hope that you are able to show that everything is above board."

As he tended to do when under pressure, Henry looked around for someone he perceived as being weaker than him to carry the can. He spoke to Billson,

"You know, Billson, it seems to me that you were the one who pressured her into working ... under ... me. How was I to know that she had a problem with that? My motivation was purely to provide an opportunity to a promising young employee."

The response caught him by surprise.

"Yes, you are right Mr Urquhart-Drago, what I did was clearly wrong and as a result I have offered the board my resignation. However, the fact remains that you are the one who arranged things to ensure she ended up at your home."

Fuck! Why did the man suddenly have to grow a spine and a conscience now, of all times?

Before he could collect his thoughts, Slant-Smythe picked up from where Billson had left off.

"Obviously, if Mrs Greville can in fact confirm that nothing untoward happened then it should be possible to resolve this without too much difficulty. However, in the meantime it would be better if you did not appear in the office and of course under no circumstances should you attempt to contact her. Is that clear, Henry?"

Henry had to agree, even though he was seething inside, since Slant-Smythe was too well-connected for him to intimidate. It was beginning to look like he had done a brilliant job of framing himself for sexual harassment. And his only escape lay in Julie Greville vouching for him.

There was a certain humour in the fact that having escaped punishment for things he had undoubtedly done he now was in danger of serious consequences for something he had not done. However, Henry Urquhart-Drago was one of those people who never laughed at himself, only at others, and so he saw no humour whatsoever in this situation.

Had he been a wiser man than he was, Henry would also have taken note of the way in which his solicitor had remained uncharacteristically silent throughout their brief meeting.

Jake had managed to catch the first train to Exeter out of London, and being Sunday morning he pretty much had the carriage to himself. However, he was unable to relax. While he had initially felt reassured, having made a clear decision, with every hour that passed he found himself becoming more and more uneasy without being able to put his finger on the reason why.

When changing to catch the small two-carriage train that would carry him along the branch line to Wolfsden, he paced up and down the platform and almost screamed with frustration when the public address system announced that the train was delayed.

While Jake was finally boarding the train for the last part of his journey, Julie had found herself being drawn down the slope from the woods in the direction of the chasm. Even if she had not known this, the way the air temperature was dropping and the fact that here even this late in the day there were still remnants of mist in the hollows would have been an indicator.

As the air had cooled around her and become noticeably damper, so with it Julie's mood had also darkened. The day before, while still in London, she had visited a high-end lingerie store, emboldened by the idea that no-one was likely to recognise her. She had brought back with her enough impractical but enticing items to fill a whole draw in their bedroom.

Now, however, she thought about how unlikely it was that she would ever have the chance to wear any of it for Jake. As she descended the slope, her mother's words seemed to ring in her head on a constant loop. 'What have you been willing to sacrifice for Jake?'

She still had no answer to that question.

Jake had finally reached Wolfsden shortly after midday and had covered the short distance from the station to their house quickly. As he approached, he once more went over his thoughts on what he wanted to say to Julie.

For a moment he considered whether he shouldn't ring the doorbell, then dismissed it as ridiculous and inserted his key in the lock.

Without conscious thought on her part Julie had found her way onto the bridge over the chasm. The mist seemed to be bubbling out of it like some malign potion from a witch's cauldron. In the uncanny silence of the place the words on sacrifice had become a loud chorus in her head.

It struck her that the woman she had become could at least serve one purpose. Perhaps sacrificing her could buy happiness for the man she loved, and the hope that he could be with a better woman. Someone who appreciated him for who he was and would help him to heal from the wounds of the past.

Less than a mile from where Julie stood Jake was discovering that what he had not rehearsed for was an empty house. He had assumed that she would be there, awaiting his return. He would finally have to call her to find out where she was.

He dialled Julie's number and was rewarded by the chilling sound of her phone ringing. It was on the sideboard where she had left it.

For a moment he froze. What now?

How he reached a conclusion he would never be able to say. Was it an intuition based on scraps of information or something more unreasoning? But he knew with an absolute certainty where she was and he ran out of the door, heedlessly leaving it open and running as fast as he was able down the road that led directly to the bridge.

From a distance he could see that it was shrouded in an even more impenetrable fog than usual. Even as he pushed himself to keep running, and though he could neither see nor hear anything, he had the unshakeable conviction that someone had fallen from the bridge. It was so powerful that he then actually stopped running, and slowed to a halt, fearing that he was too late.

There was only the blank shapeless wall of white mist.

Then in one place it slowly coalesced into a darker shape that then emerged as a woman.

For one awful moment Jake thought fate had played a horrible trick on him; that it was a woman who looked like Julie but in fact wasn't, and that this meant his Julie was lying broken far below.

Then he saw that it was Julie, even though she was dressed uncharacteristically in one of his old t-shirts, jeans and walking boots and had a camera slung around her neck, hanging to one side. He reached her without even being aware of covering the distance between them and was holding her to him and saying,

"Oh god, I thought I'd lost you. I thought you'd jumped. I thought someone had gone over."

Julie at first was looking at him as if she was not sure he was real and seemed to be in a trance. She spoke in an oddly distant voice.

"Someone did go over."

For a moment he looked at her uncomprehending.

"It was the old Julie. The Julie who was selfish. The Julie who wanted you to wear a suit. The Julie who never listened to you play. The Julie who never wore stockings for you."

At the end her tone returned to something more normal and there was even a little smile when she said 'stockings'. She continued.

"But I have to confess something horrible. She didn't jump. I pushed her. I sacrificed her for you."

Now she finally gave him a proper smile and said,

"I must admit that I didn't think it would work this fast though."

With that she flung her arms around him and kissed him so hard he wondered for a moment whether he might not end up with bruised lips.

They soon reached the house, and without saying anything Jake picked her up and carried her across the threshold, through the still open door and staggered awkwardly straight up the stairs.

When they reached the door to their bedroom, Julie made him put her down. They both knew, without either of them saying so, that they needed to make love, but she was suddenly aware of her dishevelled state, especially after a day in the woods, as well as her tangled hair and complete lack of make-up.

"Jake, my love, I just need to take a quick shower and ..."

"No!"

She was little shocked at his forceful interruption.

"No shower. No make-up."

At this moment she realised that maybe there was not just going to be a new Julie, but that she was shortly going to be in bed with a new Jake.

She gave him a cheeky grin and said,

"Then at least give me just two minutes in our room before you come in. You won't be disappointed, I promise. Maybe you could get undressed while you wait."