All Comments on 'The Christmas Party Pt. 02'

crap

A bit of name confusion. Suddenly Dan is doing the deed then he is back outside looking in the window again. Really destroys the enjoyment of the read.

just more of your sick shit. Please go away-far away. or don't. what you do doesn't matter either way.

Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel.

Tell me something, did even the hookers laugh at you when you propositioned them? I mean, no wonder you can’t write about sex or relationships…because the only relationship you have is with your right hand.

Could this chapter get any worse than the first one? Hell yes. The writer has a twisted fantasy

One worthless cast of pathetic characters after another, littering and ruining any attempt at erotic writing by this so-called author.

Trash.

You got the names mixed up on several sentences. Very confusing.

Part 1, in E&V, scored 3.26. Bringing Part 2 to LW guarantees a lower score.

This one had all of the familiar parts: the boyfriend having a bigger cock, more athletic ability to use it vigorously, and a husband who knew he couldn't compete, so he got all creamy over it.

At least he hasn't licked the boyfriend's cum out of his wife's pussy, but maybe you're saving that for Part 3?

Its not just the topic that was bad for me (but I read it) but the story telling itself. Just wham bam and done. Not erotic or sexy.

If your going to write cuck shit warn readers ahead of time and avoid low ratings. I just lost time I can't get back.

What a "fuck"

'Pole' in the 'Hole' is the only 'Goal'

Very choppy, rushed writing. It was hard to follow who was doing what, to whom...

The idiots are not dying out, either in fantasy or in reality. This author proves it to us with his story!

What was that shit? Oh, just a shit pile of words !

Hot garbage

How did you ever take the phrase "As a writer, you really do suck" and turn it into "Wow you write like Hemingway!!"

If you cuck "writers" and I tend to laugh bigly, could actually write a decent story the flames might not hit so hard, but you don't. I've read a few that arent bad and yours have never been one of them, nor will be.

@Whackdoodle, …"because the only relationship you have is with your right hand."

How would know he is right handed?

@Abctoy

If your going to write cuck shit warn readers ahead of time and avoid low ratings. I just lost time I can't get back.

Look at the tags before running your mouth. And you weren't doing anything any way.

It's hard to believe you actually have 69 of these stories with decent scores. I'll try to read another sometime, but this one is pretty bad.

This writer keeps on shitting into LW! Lousy story, just pure trash!

Terrible writing

Taking matters into his own hands, Dan grasped her by the curve of her waist and held her aloft; he was going to finish this himself.

Better get your Characters straight...How can Dan be outside recording her cheating tryst while inside banging his own wife? Your going to make a willing cuck out of a good man who was plainly disrespected and unloved..next he will be raising a bastard child and looking like a complete fool to his wife...Life isn't really like this on a normal basis..maybe to idiots and fools...

It must be hard to write and beat off at the same time. :)

At least the character admits he likes being a cuck. That was refreshingly honest.

Of course, the wife is a typical LW wife. Vacuous and slut-ray susceptible. No vaccine or booster can save her.

hopeless

I think Kalimaxos is really Joe Biden. The comments he writes and the answers Sleepy Joe gives sound eerily similar. Maybe that's why this whole administration is a dumpster fire. Sleepy is spending all of his time on Lit.

Dan…. Likely couldn’t have ever asked a girl on a date never mind marriage

If he is inferior, he should just free Noel to marry a better lover.

Hopefully the author will somehow give this poor character Dan a backbone and let him deal with the arrogant prick and his cunt wife. Please have the next chapters not have him be a spineless cuck

Need the finale. Dan needs a pair of balls to deal with both of them

He’s got all all the evidence he needs he doesn’t need any more. Just get fucking on to it please.

What a load of bullshit, he could’ve ended this ages ago.

1/5

A very, VERY piss-poor masochistic psycho-delinquent fantasy WITHOUT even one of the standard five classic endings? So it's only HALF a real story anyway, and without even half-a-hook to bring anyone back for a later ending! I really can't see why she bothers with such mindless, unfinished drivel, with flat 2D, highly-forgettable characters throughout, fixating on a fable?

I feel sure this Girl CAN do better, there are some hints throughout that she CAN, & maybe even become first class, if she changes tack and concentrates on getting inside EACH of her characters as she writes them, both heroes AND villains, both male, and female! They ALL need to be capable of coming--to-life in the reader's mind.

Write them ALL up sympathetically, and all your stories WILL fly! . . Kind regards,

Richard .

of genders, both the and stop churning out such thin-and-flimsy rubbish as this where the "

I like it, love having a wife that’s so hot she can’t get enough big cocks. Love seeing the other men treat her like a easy slut that they were lucky enough to meet and can last long enough to make her cum. Seeing her fucked into submission and how much she enjoys it drives me crazy. I know most people don’t understand but seeing her and knowing if there were more men they could each have a go would be perfect.

In part 3 maybe try to not make him a stupid cuckold.

Leave him a cuckold with a video as he leaves her, that is unless she really does love him and he loves her although these conflicted emotions are missing from the story.

What a fucking idiot, take your small ass cock and divorce her, she deserves better than you. Cuckolds are all the same, they just can’t keep a woman happy and well fucked..

I thought it was fun, a little bit confusing at first and ended up skipping through this Femdom agitprop.

PITIFUL... AND CANNOT KEEP DAN AND EVAN SEPARATE.

What an absolute crock of shite.