All Comments on 'The Christmas Tale'

Good idea but superman stories are boring

Now this is definitely a 10Star!!!

I love it. ;-)

Please continue tis tory -- and how about descriptions? Seems Bill in love with Maria and larry in love with Anne could be sexy men with a bit of manly chest hair -- keep the lovers warm at night nestling into their hairy chests?

Wow, quite the debut! 5/5 Very written and a beautiful Christmas story! Thanks!

Great story. Very loving and romantic. 5stars

I liked it a lot - but there were some issues:

a) On p1, Larry and Bill kept changing identities.

b) Everyone is just too darn perfect and capable.

c) It isn't clear whether there are gas or wood fireplaces in the various rooms of "this old Victorian." They lit _way_ too fast for wood, but no mention of retro-fitting anything.

d) You'll get a ->LOTS<- smoother finish with a cabinet scraper than with sandpaper, and faster, too.

e) Childbirth is way more messy and stressful than portrayed.

still, 4-stars

Interesting, it wasn’t intended as a superman story, not at all. The characters are doing what they do because of who they are. Its the experience they attain from their actions that makes the day exceptional.

The contest framework seems to limit what I can do with this story, but you will see some of the people again.

Thank you all for you comments. This is the first story I’ve submitted in more than 10 years, and the old ones were under a pen name I’ve long forgotten.

Very nice adaptation of Luke 2

Not sure about the UFO ending, but good plot, solid characters (I can see them in my mind) and super description. Good eroticism, nothing phoney. Five new-life stars are barely enough. Good luck with the contest!

A thoroughly enjoyable story. Yes, the ending was a little strange but what the heck, it is a story and I loved it. It seems there are those who want all the authors on Lit to be published, highly skilled and intensely trained journalists turned writers. If that was so, many gems on this site would never have seen the light of day.

A number of authors on Lit are published authors who also want to simply tell a pleasant or even beautiful story without having to overthink every sentense to check its acceptable correctness. Check on 'Dreamcloud' and read 'The family man'. A brilliant work. 'Onehitwanda' is a published author who lets her hair down on Lit. The list is long.

For a first work in many years, this was great. Keep it up!

I like the bright light ending and am happy to be in the minority about it. This was a great read and I thank you for adding to the happiness of the holiday season. The splash of erotica sits beautifully amongst the lit and this story brings the lit. New life, confessed and confirmed love, an amazing assembly of community. Maybe that bright light is just Five Stars shining through darkness.

The people that complain about the UFO miss the real story. Is a retelling of the birth of Jesus. A nice retelling. So it's the star of Bethlehem. Some farmers and geeks are supposed to arrive to offer presents to Jessie and need the star to pinpoint the location.

I’m very glad you enjoyed it!

What a wonderful story! The ending....use your imagination. The The love and revelations of the night were well thought out and executed.

Thank you for sharing!

DP

Wow, your stories are something else. I really liked this one, both for its warmth and symbolism. Thank you.

The only weakness of the story is insufficient characterization. All characters suffer from it, but especially Marla and Maria whom are the most important characters in the story. We got very little of Marla's personality before she got proposed, which to me fell somewhat flat, because I got no feeling for her or their relationship. Like in your other story, you tend to imply too much. Maria on the other hand is obviously a very special person, but you spend very little time before and even during delivery on her. You could've gone into more details on her and had her shine especially during delivery. And her husband can be replaced with a cardboard cutout for all the presence he has.

Basically it is still a very enjoyable story. What it lacks is some more character meat on those bones. :)

I hope to see more from you.