All Comments on 'The Chronicles of Hvad Ch. 02'

Caught the new instalment early since I was looking out for it. It was everything I expected and more. You have a way of writing that is very visceral. Keep on writing this awesome story Aspern!

LOVE how you put Kanni front and center; in fact, her wisdom is unKanni! ;) She questioned and calmed Ljudevit well and she may even be more intelligent and perceptive than Borna. You impressed me with how you handled her. I adored how you had Borna go find her a comb--what a perfect touch! Giving her a silver necklace (although I was surprised she didn't get the most ornate of rings) would tend to cement her place as a queen or at least his highly-esteemed consort in that time period.

Borna is such a polished, new leader--I would follow him after seeing such magnanimity and good judgment! He commands respect and you did right by having him show such generosity to his Hands and then others: it's exactly how a good leader in the Dark/Middle Ages treated loyal warriors (and even did similarly on a smaller scale to dedicated servants). You served that same tradition well through Ontran's father and mother, with their obeisance.

More than sufficient detail dedicated to them fleeing the forest without bogging them down nor overdoing it; even the slaying in the enemy steading held sufficient suspense and foreboding without going overboard. Your balanced storytelling in handling the fighting, recompense, short rest, staging/reconnaissance and receipt of 3 extra warriors amazed me. Although I naturally hate cliffhangers, even that didn't seem out of place yet felt appropriate for them to discover the dire situation they face, in order to have the best plan possible under such dim circumstances.

I know more than to think Noyemi is far behind Kanni in wits, as she may have only asked limited questions of Ljudevit, but those few were good, thoughtful ones. I'm interested to see how you develop her, although I can easily see her having at least 2 very insightful observations, as there's no way I see her holding back once she finds her tongue--and your early indications are she will NOT hold back with Ljudevit--because it was plain at the steading she fancied him.

I feel no pity for Garine, especially the vile things she spouted. However, thanks for muting her humiliation at Khoren's hands; ironically, she's the best match for Khoren under the circumstances. I do wonder how you will use her, since that makes her a major wildcard in all this, as I detected ZERO sympathy from Kanni nor Noyemi for her. Thing is you have your work cut out with her, depending on what your plans are, because while such a disagreeable character like Garine must be humbled, once the extremely arrogant suffer a humbling (seriously enough), it either embitters them or shocks them to sense. I would like to think even Garine could be redeemed and learn something from her sisters (as we cannot leave Khoren, the forever-raging-brute unchastised if we're being fair), but there is such a thing as a static character that only serves one purpose and never does more. So those two items most certainly stay in your court.

I believe this is the most any author has gotten out of me in a long time...I don't thing you got this much out of me in Westrons even! Very well told! 5

We have a new Bernard Cornwell amongst us!

Great story and agree with comment of a new Bernard Cornwall.

Nicely done really appreciate your work

They don't need to let their guerrilla spirits wilt. Others might not wander out the gates, but they can be prepared within the gates, ready for a certain moment.

While I really do hate when people leave an entire book as a comment I agree with everything that Comentarista82 said. Usually I get so frustrated because the author tips the story one way or another, too detailed with gore, or military strategy or even the weather.... But this has been great. And yes. Even his going back for the comb. It stood out. That he was so thoughtful, foreshadowed how thoughtful he might be for his people, his strategy thru the rest of the tale.

One small thing I noticed on this re-reading: you may have (inadvertently or deliberately) channeled what Gamora said after Quill's speech to stop Ronan (when Ontran's parents spoke of him): at least he died among friends.