All Comments on 'The "Club"'

Is it Karie and Dale or Karie and Dan?

See the title...

fuck the annony assholes.

This is a slut wife about to destroy her marriage in search for the next big cock or the next sexual thrill she thinks she needs. This is a marriage on the rails to divorce. Unfortunately this wasn't very well written. Not erotic or interesting. None of the characters were likeable people so no one to root for. In the end it made no difference who was who. Just no fun to read.

Good story please get your names right. Anyone who comments and doesn't have the guts to put their name on it shouldn't comment.

No love, no commitment, husband can not satisfy her now, who would want a marriage like that.

If really than its a shame they are not enough for each other sexually. A marriage can never survive when they both need different people for sex

i was impressed with a first time writer! most "first time" in a swinger club has an "escort" couple... but with a pair of neophytes... much better... yes, the name confusion is/was frustrating... but it required me to concentrate harder and (perhaps) added to the enjoyment... well done, try writing some more

You need to proofread.

It's a pity about the confusion of names at the start of the story (but that is not an infrequent problem on Literotica). However, despite that, this was a good story well told. Forget those that criticise having not realised this is fantasy rather than real life. I don't know what they are doing here instead of being super righteous on relationship advice sites. Don't lket it put you off writing - a good first story. 5*

Thanks for the feedback. I did make a mistake on the names. Couldn't figure out a good name for myself. lol. Will ensure that I keep that straight for chapter 2 if anyone is interested in another chapter.

What a great read, I gave it a 5. I so hope there is more to follow. You will only get better and that will be something great to read. Thanks so much

Jean

I would like to think that anyone taking the time to copy a story to re-post as their own would at least take the time to make sure they changed all the names within the story.

If you did actually write it, I have a hard time believing you could forget what name you decided to use. Story was a 5 but, I gave you a 1 since it wasn't your own.

I can see why you would think that but at first I gave myself the name Dale and decided I didn't like it so went back to change it and missed some. Clearly my proofreading isn't that great. It is my own and is based on an actual event from last year. Was a club called Club Sesso, if you've been there, you'll know the description is accurate.

Since I never read the ostensible "original" I just enjoyed this one. If "Anonymous, Good..." wishes to dispute authorship, he/she/it should cite his reference, and be brave enough not to hide in the bushes and snipe at you.

I sent a private critique prior to reading these comments, and I see almost everything I commented on was covered in the public comments.

Good job, and please keep writing.

This wasn't a escape valve...She wanted it to be a permanent status: "For Karie, that time couldn't come fast enough..."Maybe she could change her home to the club...2*

Women fuck for love and romance, men fuck for sex, and fantasize about women who are just fuck toys. The wife who wants to be treated like a slut? Pure male fantasy. Women spend their whole lives trying to avoid being treated with disrespect, ridicule, or like pieces of meat. And the few women who really do think they want to be a fuck toy for strangers, without love and respect, they have psychological problems. And what about a husband who puts his wife in a place where she can be demeaned, infected, and used like a rental tool?

Let me give you a hint what the husband really thinks of such a wife. Most men have special favored items, like tools, golf clubs, fishing rods, hunting dogs. When someone wants to borrow one of these items, the man offers his loaner substitute, an item he thinks is adequate for what the borrower wants, but an item that is not special and won't be missed if it gets lost, or broken, or ruined. What woman wants to be her husband's loaner tool? Yeah, a fucked up woman. And what man treats his wife that way? Yeah, a selfish shallow unloving asshole, who is in the relationship mostly for what he gets out it.

So maybe this couple is just using each other for their own selfish satisfaction. What is erotic or enjoyable about two people manipulating and using each other? What kind of person actually gets aroused by such behavior?

As a first time author myself, I found that people don't realize how difficult it is to write an erotic story. Building characters and describing a sexual scene is not as easy as one would think, especially when more than 2 people are involved. While some of the readers make comments about their mairage going to the dogs and other relationship issues, they have to realize that most of the writing is fiction or fantasy. Nice job for your first time. My only suggestion is to take your time, carefully review the story and read it out loud to yourself. This way, you will hear the words that you are typing and therefore get a better understanding what the readers will be seeing. Don't rush to submit it and carefully follow your editor's corrections. Keep up with your writing and remember, you will never make everyone like what you submit, even though, as authors, we want them to. Nice job!

Once Karie got going, she couldn't get enough cock. Awesome read.

Cuck turns his whorewife loose at the sex club. She's gone.

Dan, Dale, Dave ? Pretty much says it all.

Outstanding!!!! Thanks! :)