All Comments on 'The Club'

I've enjoyed a few of your stories and particularly enjoyed this, original, sexy and well written with a lovely pace that made it very readable. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent x

This was a really nice scene: It had a really good plot, nice buildup, you really get the narrator gradually losing her inhibitions, and of course you want the ending.

Certainly an original storyline. As with most stories, there were elements which could be improved, imho.

As a female writer, I'm surprised you didn't get Rose to describe what she was wearing, as she got ready for her first date at the club. I think it would only be natural for a woman to fret over this.

Also, sorry, I found the ending entirely predictable. A more interesting twist might have been for Jake to have had a twin brother... ;)

@Anonymous post. It's wonderful to see another female reader on Lit and providing constructive feedback - so thank you for taking the time! In answer to your questions - I did not mention what she would wear because she knows she's going to be meeting someone in the dark at the Club. He won't see her in daylight, so I didn't think her clothing choices would matter to Rose. The ending is predictable because I'm a romantic. I want the girl to get the guy and if I did anything different for this, I would not have been happy writing or reading it :)

5 stars. Cute, cute, cute. Any disparaging comments should be ignored. This is fictional fantasy. Great buildup, ending was predictable (towards the end of the story) but left a warm feeling in me. Strange way to meet Mr. Right, but it's better than a dating service. Please keep writing.