All Comments on 'The Concert Ch. 04'

You really should have let a second set of eyes take a look at this before you posted it. I got 5-6 paragraphs into the story, but was too confused to continue.

The references to people often don't match, or the antecedents of your pronouns aren't clear. I was pushing on gamely when I got to this part...

"Isabelle and Franco were trying to be very quiet, whispering and closing the door gently. They didn't turn on the light -- they obviously thought Isabelle was asleep. Amanda lay perfectly still, her heart pounding."

Yeah, mistakes happen, but this was one too many and I gave up, no matter how hot the story seemed to be. Too much work.

Please keep them – and us – coming. Thanks.

I agree with the comment that it is a little hard to follow, mainly because we get a bit confused from one character to another. I have the curse of OCD, and if I like a story, I copy it to my hard drive (some of the best stories have a way of disappearing), and read it from there. How embarrassing to admit it, but I correct the good stories as I read -- I just can't help it. I never do anything with the corrected copy; I've thought of sending it to the author, but I think most would be offended. My curse is that I have to have perfect grammar and sentence structure. Thanks, Mom and Dad. But if a really good author (like you) wished, I would send you the corrected copy, just for you to look at. Please forgive; I don't mean to be pompous. BTW, I didn't shine in college. My priority was perfection, not handing work in on time. I try to remember that 'perfect is the enemy of good.'

Disregarding the above, this is a great series. So many people are like Amanda -- so many important things to say, but too scared to say them. To have a Danielle, what a blessing! If only people could REALLY talk with each other!

I'm really curious where you're going with this. Will they ultimately split, will one of the girls get Jason, could it be that they'll spend a long time with the three of them living together and sharing each other. The last is really hard to do, but it's exciting and something I've often thought would be a wonderful experience.

I've made a special effort to not be too compulsive with this comment; I'm only going to read it over once before sending it. Anticipating the next chapter.

Thanks, Josh

It may be that there are some dangling pronouns here and there in this story...but I did not notice them and followed it beginning to end.

What mattered to me was so incredibly sexy both women were, and how deeply I fell for Amanda. She has a heart of honey and gold with deep passions. I love this story as I enjoy this authors stories generally.