by LadyKitkat
The story was flowing well until the wreck which happened when "coming/come" was used in reference to an orgasm. Anyone over the age of 6 knows and understands the proper slang version is "cum/cumming" proving how uneducated the author is.
Glad Kevin was surprised with the ending, it made 1 who was.
Still a fun read..
Was hot and had promise for more adventures until the flop ending.
Any 5 year old pedant knows there is no such thing as correct slang.
I've never been much for slang so the coming thing didn't bug me, but wouldn't a table be terribly uncomfortable?
I don't know why some people are so unkind...but I deleted the wanker comment. Maybe I am a wanker, idk and I don't care but I'm not going to leave a comment like that on my story!
Positive feedback or constructive advice is always appreciated though! Hmmm....Cum/Cumming vs. Come/Coming: I'll give it some thought. I like both but a lady shouldn't use slang. On the other hand, a lady shouldn't write horny stories either!
Yes I did have a little difficulty with the ending, but I did want to show that they were playing.