All Comments on 'The Consequences of Infidelity Ch. 03'

and blood relations give the love respiration to survive any sojourn, TK U MLJ LV NV

Is this the same author? I'm not an RAAC fan and the end was a little disappointing. The "crime" deliberate and serious enough to warrant a different end. FTDS?

I didn't mind the details nor did I really mind him letting her go on the weekend as he needed to see if she would pull out on her own volition.

However the final chapter was pretty poor:

- Some reference to the final 3 days other than the obtuse one when they were reconciling was required. Why all the detail of the Friday night then the rest of the weekend is in ignored. It is if you just couldn't be bothered.

- contradictions in the plot. He didn't watch the other tapes but knew she continued to have sex with them including a threesome but no explanation of how he knew this. Written report / finally watched all the tapes? Who knows

- You dug a very deep hole for her and did little to justify her getting out of it. True love winning in the end was puerile at best.

- She betrayed him abysmally then tried her best to do so again in the divorce and all we got to counter was that she was drugged at some point. She showed no signs on Friday night, it was all planned and drunkenness is no excuse. Then drugged for three days, which she couldn't seem to remember? Once you stretch the credibility of your story then you lose the readers. It was very lazy of you.

- I don't mind reconciliation in principle but you need to work much harder on it. BTB is much simpler and appeals to many but a good reconciliation story can make you stand out from the pack. So please try again.

Generally well written but several grammatical errors for example very early on:

“because one of the patients had fell ill “ should be “had fallen ill”.

But 5* all the way to encourage you as this very promising.

I put myself in the shoes of Dr. McAllister. First, any man with any balls, would have blown this bullshit by their wife out of the water immediately. No self respecting man would have stood back and let her run off to screw another man. He would have told her “I know what you are going to do, do it our marriage is over”. But no, he lets her go off knowing what is going to transpire. Really?

Next is the ending....spare me. Unbelievable to say the least.

that the author of the 3rd part of this trilogy is the same as the first two chapters!

Gone were the almost anal minutia of unneeded detail of chapters 1 & 2, to the complete opposite for chapter 3 where it appears that the only thing that matters is that they reconcile and live happily ever after!

A very disapponting finish on so many levels after showing promise with 1 & 2 (apart from far more info' than required) !

She learned that her husband was more than able to destroy those who caused him so much pain, and that if she was ever responisble for it again, his love for her would be gone and her fate would be the same as theirs.

Like I’ve said before, he’s CAPT save a hoe for all the women. He wants to be fair when it comes to his divorce. Hell he didn’t even fuck over Maria, but the men were run over by the train. While he found ways for the women to come out ahead. That also includes the lying cheating slut he married. I managed to muster up a2 star rating.

In chapter one this was going somewhere worthwhile. It turned into a load of unnecessary minutia (chapter 2 could have been edited down to five paragraphs) and then this RACC cuck bullshit. Sorry I cant go back and change down to one stars and warn others to scroll on by.G

I had a similar reaction at first but confess, I was not reading closely. I looked at it again since that did seem out of character. The narrator, Hank, clearly says he suspected it was the work of her ex-lover. So it was clearly not the husband. Though that “I M Karma” does make less sense that way.

I also had some issue with the life insurance bit. What company would issue that big a policy to a recently divorced man with that much emotional baggage? And with that pair of beneficiaries? They also tend to have clauses that preclude payment for suicides for the first two-three years. At the least, I would have expected it to end up in court.

Overal, I thing the conclusion was a bit of a letdown. But I will be watching for more from 5860 since I did enjoy it overall.

39 years old, huh? ROTC, medical school, Marine Corps. The only service that doesn’t have its own doctors. You’d have more credibility making him a green beret.

What a shmuck.

Forget the drugs, they are superfluous and distract from the plot.

The destruction of the lives of ALL the others is unrealistic, and does not develop the plot.

The weeks that Hank spent having Mallory & Derek observed is too long.

The lunch where Mallory had a climax while Derek fingered her is a climatic event that has minimal impact in the story as written. This cries out for some confrontation; otherwise why was Hank having Mallory observed?

Well written; you have good potential as an lw author.

The harder story to write, that is not often published here, is about the proactive husband who would have forced Mallory's decision as soon as she climaxed with another man.

You have to gradually change the climate and do something that makes him sure that

she has his back. The engagement in caresses should be slow.

You definitely should read Blozo's essay "How sex really works." Your descriptions of sex are so far from the reality of physiology that you would benefit from some facts. For example, one's balls don't "empty." They are passive during ejaculation...nor do they have anything to do with recovery to go at it again. Here's the link to the story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/how-sex-really-works

P.S. I'm a retired physician. Blozo got it right.

Author sounds more like a politician trying to please all groups rather than someone

based in reality. Last chapter made the rest a waste of time. Gave it a 1!!

Weak finish not enough detail on why the bitch did it her thinking in the run up and as for reconciliation pathetic. What a let down for a strongly anticipated final chapter.

Hope he kept the videos and watches them again. She says she didn't even remember what she did the next morning. She woke up in bed with the man with cum leaking out of her and continued the weekend fucking. If she realized she fucked up and was drugged she should have gotten the the hell out of there.

Unforgivable.

I enjoyed your story very much and I liked that you broke it down into 3 chapters as I hate stories that go 6 or more pages. Keep up the good work. Thanks

This is not one of those times.

<P>

He doesn't date, he does little to move on, and then, in a weak moment, she's sucking his cock and from there it's full speed to an illogical and forced reconciliation.

The first two chapters were completely detailed except for why Mallory was going off the tracks. We never were told what motivated Mallory and despite the build up of lunches and seduction, the spa getaway replacing a long planned family vacation that was heavily focused on the children was not in character with a intelligent woman.

The first two chapters caught my attention and delivering the third chapter without a long delay (some authors go weeks or months) was satisfying. Your writing skills in the first two chapters were well organized and clearly told a believable story but you seemed to be lost on the story conclusion offering something for everybody with no clear reasoning.

That's ... interesting after all the time you spent before that of his lawyer telling him it's a no fault state.

<P>

Make up your mind.

Gang rape. Suicide/murder. Mental and physical abuse and you expect us to believe that the good doctor is a saint? Holy bullshit, Batman! He’s a fucking sociopath. And as for Mallory’s pathetic excuses after her weekend of debauchery?

Sorry, let’s go back to the good doctor for a minute. He orchestrated the gang rape of a woman and then had her become a drug addicted whore who later died and without even a shred of remorse. He wanted her to pay for ruining his wife and his marriage and he reveled in it.

What kind of man can do that? What kind of man can rape a woman and feel nothing? Even if he didn’t do it, he is just as guilty because he set it up. Even if he didn’t plunge the needle in her arm, he set it up so that she did.

This is not the action of a “good” man. It is the act of a monster. A predator. It is evil.

If you want a reconciliation, write a story that has the potential for reconciliation. Here the basis of the reconciliation is fairy dust. In 1-1/2 pages you turn on their heads your prior plot and characterizations. 1* and 1* for prior chapters for plot lies.

That's why I don't vote until the last chapter, now I'll go an one-star each one.

I have read a lot of stories on this site, this is by far the best. Keep them coming.

In chapter 1 we are told that Mal deep throated Hank, something she had never done before he wondered where she learned this skill but we never got an answer. Supposedly before the weekend away there was only over clothes manipulation and one instance of finger banging. So when and where did she learn to deep throat?. Other than that I quite enjoyed this story

Shame it is always somebody else to blame she had her chance to stay home and knew what was going down as she had been a willing participant prior to the weekend would not have been better to build the new surgery with extra special corner posts.The most controvesial word in the dictionary is "Sorry"

You blew this ending into the trash can. None of these lawsuits and penalties are paulsable. The suicide, the rape gang bang, the private eyes ,following Durval and making her life hell. Etc etc. to much and totally unworkable. I enjoyed the first 2 chapters but this one was way off the charts.

When a Literotica HOF writer like qhml1 writes a rambling epilogue after the story is really over, I don't mind it as much since the meat of the story usually more than sustains me. This story was like a three course meal with a tasty salad, then a delicous soup, followed by a loaf of shit wrapped in a puff pastry. Then for dessert, we have an epilogue that irritates the palate as it fails to wash away the shitty taste.

There are some great bits of writing in this story, but the credibility of several parts make it tough to buy in. Mallory goes on 30+ lunches with her group of cheaters, including at least one public finger banged orgasm, yet her doctor husband doesn't put his foot down? Mallory is such a great mother, yet she bails on a weekend planned months ahead to take the kids somewhere in order to spend it with her cheating group?

Mallory goes on a spa weekend with her cheating group after being groomed literally for weeks and now we are expected to believe she wouldn't have consented to cheating without being drugged? The last one, revealed in the final chapter as a prelude to the reconciliation, spun this one into the dumpster for me.

I can enjoy a reconciliation or a well played revenge ending, provided the motivations and story lead naturally to it. This story had some small inconsistencies in the natural flow in the first two chapters, but the concluding one seemed forced and against the grain. The Mallory at the end was nothing like the Mallory at the beginning and nothing she went through made you think she earned her redemption.

I will say that the author shows potential in a very difficult category to find success in and hope that they can shoulder the criticism and continue writing. Just let your characters tell their story and don't try to force them into unnatural situations and you will be fine.

Congratulations, you took what would have been a great first story and turned it into a cuck story with the reconciliation. This category is full of low scoring trash cuck stories and rather than stand among the high scoring top stories you chose to join the trash. Too bad.

Not plausible.

nor is capital punishment against a multiple murderer. Consequences depend on the gravity of the action and its context. Get over it.

Five stars for the best remark ever! I.M.Karma !! I Fell over laughing, I didn't like the part about the drugs that was just to open the door for getting back together. All stories have good and bad parts but this was more good then bad. Thanks for a good read. Plz. Write more we need good stories to read over coffee ☕

Your portrayal of Hank was all over the chart. He ran a Dr.'s office with two other Dr.s and staff yet he had time and money to invest all over hell's half acre, but come across as a sad sack as a man. The only person he ever showed his anger was to Mal.

You had him negotiate settlements for the other two wives (when did he become an attorney) become silent partners in Jon's and Marlene's business', and philanthropist at the hospital in his parents name. The best part was he bought the home down the street from his old home, remodeled it with pool and furnishings for $300,000 leaving him 3.7 million left in his Belize account.

I had no problem with them getting back together (2 years later) and getting married 5 years after the divorce, but to have him feel so sorry for his wife losing her job (that he arranged) then starting a business for her to run was pushing it.

The one spot that troubled me the most was Andy (in story #1) met with him on a Wednesday morning to warn him about her plot to set him up with dinner out then sex to convince him to let her go the next day, yet in number two you made it a whole week instead. In number three she didn't get home until late Monday yet she had either driven herself or ridden with Marie but couldn't leave until she got one more role in the hay (but she missed him so much (but couldn't call or text the whole weekend)).

At the beginning of your tale the kids were 9 and 8 years old. If Jena graduated high school at 18 and finished college and internships it would have taken at least ten years. If your story was done in real time it would have covered at least 20 years, texting didn't even start until 2001 (17 years ago) so Dr. Hank was years ahead of his time.

When you start your next epic story (and I will be looking for it) do a little more research. As others have said you did well for your first story.

the story was well written but i hate when there are no consequences for cheaters

a story usually imitates a real life situation and taking her back was unforgivable

the wife can have all the excuses in the world ... drugs alcohol mental disease for a weekend any excuse she wants to use but

in the end she chose her spa weekend over her family which in itself shows me where her priorities were

she was smart and knew exactly what was happening but chose the spa

i once read somewhere excuses are like ass holes ..... everybody has one and they all stink

too bad the author took her back in this story as once again it shows me that cheaters do prosper unlike what i was taught

Good story, good writing despite the typical comments from the LW nitpickers. Looking forward to more of your stories.

The ending was a bit over the top - too much revenge and too much success to be believable, or maybe I am jealous? However, the pain and struggle seemed realistic and I'm always in the mood for a happy ending where adults rise to the occasion. Healing always requires a leap of faith. Good story!

PS-you did repeat one paragraph in this last part. You need a copy editor.

The story was very good until this last chapter. I don’t care about the reconciliation stuff, but you rushed through the divorce and it’s after math. You could have done much, much more. Also, throwing in some stuff, like suddenly he is a Marine, added nothing to story. It was a distraction. Also, why all the stuff about what everyone became. Lots of nothing. It didn’t make your story better. I enjoyed the whole story, but this final installment was disappointing.

There is a gang rape at one point in this story, and some people think the most offensive part is the reconciliation?

Ugh.

You have to know that when you enter LW land it costs you a rating point no matter what you do. Don’t worry about the “annon” people who can’t say anything but take pot shots.

On to the story:

Your build up was very good and left me wanting the next chapter. You left pieces out there to use when needed. It is not a crime to leave open threads at the end. You tried to close on everything in a haphazard manner. I personally like some things to be left to my imagination. It became too formulaic at the end with rush to close.

All in all I will look for your stories again. Good job.

I liked your story. Theres some clowns who think they are reding a real life true biography. Fuck them, Its a fucking story. A damn good story. Let it be what it is.....Morons 4 stars man

The story seemed to waver between very detailed and skimming. Some of the details were on irrelevant events, while skimming over important issues (eg. how come Mal lost custody after 4 months). Chapter 2 was the most gripping of the 3, but all three held my attention. I am looking forward to your next stories.

I see many comments full of anger and hatred.... btb would be their call... but reconciliation under these circumstances, is, to me, the best reflections of love that rises above the degradation the nay sayers must live in. I enjoyed the story, saw realism in it and the conquer of treachery. 5* is the least I give it, please pay no attention to the comments mentioned. Many more please, I will wait and watch.

You can write so I hope you continue but this story was incredible bullshit.

With as much attention to detail as you gave throughout your tale it is remarkable that you detailed almost nothing from Malorry's side of things as well as almost no detail about reconciliation.

If you put that much effort into a build up, make sure to keep that effort going into reconciliation as well.

The premise is still nonsensical. An accomplished, intelligent woman with a great marriage to a man she really loves, throwing it all away to be a cheap slut?

Then the non existent work or process that could excuse that unbelievable act of destructive, selfish betrayal?

Despite no real explanation for her bizarre motivations, I gave your first two installments 4*. This segment, trying to pose as a story, gets a 3 for writing only.

She spends two full days and four nights fucking two men and a woman while totally ignoring her family and time apart fixes a crazy bitch that broken?

What the hell was wrong with her? You didn't care to explain or explore so why should I care about your story if you don't?

1. How does she know about roofies in her drinks?

2. Was she drugged when she lied about her intentions for the weekend?

3. Was she drugged when she choose sex over family?

4. Was she drugged the whole weekend, when the scene supposedly changed to foresomes?

5. Was she drugged during the whole six weeks prior?

6. What did she think when she came back one day late without any valid excuse? And offering sloppy seconds instead? Still drugged?

The whole "forget it" for the sake of reconcilliation did not fit together with the rest.

My rating dropped to 3*

First, please remove the comment about this guy being a Marine Officer even a Medical Officer....you clearly don't know anything about the Marine's and what they are all about.

Second, I've never met a Doctor who was a Board Qualified Surgeon who was as much of a limp wristed milksop as this guy is. The kind of drive and determination is takes to achieve that doesn't match well with someone like this who is clearly a beta-male passive aggressive wimp.

The first two chapters were awkward, but the way to drew things to a conclusion was one of the worst endings even. Consider re-writing and giving Hank his balls back and with some semblance of self-worth.

Started out with potential, then a bit like wheels locked up on ice, no idea at all where things are going.

There was no way back from this one, and the wife was STILL lying by bringing up that she was drugged.

Sorry, didn't like it much.

...to this crappy ending. I have more than a little trouble calling this a RAAC story. This is closer to a RANC (reconciliation at NO cost). Trying to lessen the wife's offense by suddenly bringing in a date rape drug is totally bogus. Was the date rape drug in use at every planning meeting they had? Was she supposedly still under the influence of this drug all the times she was busy lying to her husband and her family? If a date rape drug was involved, when and how did that information come to light? Your writing skills were good enough to string me along with you to the ending, unfortunately the ending is just a hot, wet mess.

Great Story until the last two pages. You are either the picture child of rainbows and unicorns or, and most probable, the absolute biggest and wimpiest cuckold on the planet. I was never so disappointed in a story ending in my life... and I am older than dirt. Sigh. Too bad. I love happy endings also but this one made ME vomit.

I think you were able to successfully walk the thin line between victim and vermin. It was close but the date rate drug gave us Victim, without it the whole picture show changes.

A good story well constructed and very well told. A few typos but the great story was was what won the day. 5*!!!

this writer does show more than a little ability to write. He is able to form paragraphs and except for an occasional missing word and a "your" for "you're" he is quite good, technically speaking. When he weeds out the extra details and stops with the big breakfasts, he has the skill to become a very good writer. I would encourage him to keep posting and to learn to let the insults roll off his back, difficult as that may be. Think of it as closing the garage door!

This ended up being a very disappointing story. You wrote some very believable characters and Hank in particular was someone I personally cared about. I thought the final seduction was a rushed and unimaginative. To end up having everybody blame it on drugs was a complete let down. It’s almost like you had somebody else write the the majority of the final chapter. I feel like you had an end in mind but didn’t write to that end and support issues that didn’t agree with the first part of your story or the characters you created it. It’s not that I’m against reconciliation stories, I do enjoy them where there is hope of reconciliation. However, in this story as in many others like it husband becomes a coward instead of a hero. To cow to the blatant disrespect by his wife does not match the calm and controlled person you set Hank up to be. No amount of philanthropy he gave to others really equates forgiving her and remarriying her later. The others received his help because of who they were and how they acted in respect to him, their family and/or others around them. So, if you’re using that as a prelude to forgiveness it doesn’t make sense. Could I see them becoming friends? Yes, but I don’t see how they become physical again not to mentioned beings spouses. BTW, did they spike her drinks at every meal throughout the four day weekend?????

You painted her into a corner, making her evil and totally untrustworthy. Then you simply made her a good person to end the story. You sprinkled names around like salt and pepper. It seemed the marriage counselor had the same name as the evil friend. (Duval), but it was all so confusing, I could be wrong.

You did the wrap-up that some readers love because they need to know what happens in ten or twenty years. The last half of this chapter was almost unreadable as names and jobs and millions of dollars shot out at an incredible rate. You spent two chapters setting it up, part of a page on revenge and a couple pages blathering about who knows what. You really need to have a reasonable plot planned out for a story. You made the wife a pretty rotten person and then just suddenly told us her evil actions were merely caused by a brain fart and the husband was fine with it.

The early chapters were better only because the setup is easy. The last chapter was a disaster because you had no idea where to go with it. I would also suggest you forget about anal rape as a plot device. Many readers are not overly eager to read about that as a means of punishment, or revenge. Maybe back off on the big breakfasts and the remodeling details, and a million other details. Anal rape, as well as anal attitudes detract from a story.

. . . it was terrible to depict Mallory’s parents taking her side. That comment is similar to many others, over many stories, expressing disgust that parents or children would take the ‘side’ of the cheating wife, as though children can ever just hate their mothers, or parents should somehow disown their children.

Of course Mallory’s parents supported their daughter over their now former son-in-law! That’s the way the world works. Of course, in other stories, children don’t hate their mother for betraying their father; most children, even adult children, are going to love their mothers, regardless of what they’ve done.

but the story was well written even if RAAC

That’s why I gave the first chapter a 1. It was telegraphed from the start.

All thru the story it showed Hank as a kind, thoughtful an loving person. I like the way the author brought it to the end. Hank was in character.

Story was good until the last chapter this woman knew she was going to cheat before she left for the weekend. She willingly left her family behind to cheat selfishly she doesn't deserve a second chance.

The story was over at the divorce, continuing the RAAC effort drove it into the sewer.

One of the worst RACC!! Simply unbelievable!

. . . but a physician husband would have known that date rape drugs are knockout pills, not drugs which cause unwilling women to drop to their knees and deep throat men.

Mallory was supposedly led down the garden path, with no idea that she was expected to sleep with a man, but we were also told that he’d been fingering her under her skirt in the lunch meetings. These do not go together.

His wife is an adulterous bitch and he still willing to take her back?

This Dude is a real cuck...

your ending was dishwater lukewarm though, and that last line killed me.

'I love Mallory and she loves me, we are truly soul mates. If that wasn't true, I don't believe reconciliation would have ever been possible'

I mean, it's your story. You can choose to push the 'soul mates' line of bilge. But it's just not true.

You mixed BTB elements and RAAC elements. That was pretty cool of you. I don't even mind a RAAC. But it was forced. You used 'soul mates' and the tired trope of 'wife gets strange, hubby divorces, then hubby is a celibate monk, and takes her back'. I'v seen a lot of RAACs do this! Why?! Husband needed to move on and find other women out there. That'd drive the point home to her, 'you're replaceable'. She clearly thought that about him. She never got any karma, after all that talk about consequences. What did she actually do to SHOW her sorrow and regret. It was all empty and tired platitudes. Even in the divorce she WENT AFTER HIM. That tells us the reader all we need to know about how 'sorry she is'.

She just uses and attacks people. Plays the victim when she loses. If she never cheats on him again, it wont be because she loves him, it'll be because she doesn't want to lose again.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Everything that was good leading into this chapter, you just ruined it.

1--RAAC bullshit. Suddenly she was drugged? Bullshit. She must be 3/4 retarded if she didn't know full well what was going to happen that weekend. She already let the dude fingerbang her to orgasm in a crowded restaurant for fuck sake. She planned and plotted for WEEKS. Then to top it off, she has wild group sex with fuckin' everybody, but yeah let's feel sorry for her. Nope. Fuck that bitch.

2--yes, let's make each of the cheated spouses become multimillionares. I guess I should be checking the fucking mail cause I'm about 5 years due for my "sorry you chose a shameful self centered cum bucket for a spouse" consolation prize. Now we're in the realm of UNREALISTIC BULLSHIT. People like relatively happy endings for the jilted but god damn, dude.

3--What were the consequences for Mal again? I mean it's the title of your fucking story, not "ah shucks honey, it's okay that you are a grown ass woman and yet you let some cunt you've known for a few months talk you into betraying your family and doing shit that some porn stars won't even do, you haven't been a dick swallowing hose beast for the last 2 years so let's get back together!"

4--This fucking idiot doctor ever wonder what would have happened had he not caught onto his wife's bullshit to begin with? At no time did we hear that prior to his reveal to her, that she told her lovers that she couldn't see them again, so of course that weekend was going to be just the beginning of the "new" Mallory. 2 years later (when he takes her back) and he has to know that his wife would STILL be fucking those 3 behind his back had he not busted them in the first place. He might be raising one of those guys' little fucking bastards by then. That's the level of "loyalty" that Mal has.....about as much as a feral cat.

5--Mal's mom and dad took her side and hubby became "persona non grata" eh? Sounds like Mal never told them the truth and of course Doc never sent them the tapes or the PI reports. Yeah, she's compounded her betrayal by lying to her parents and making HIM look like the bad guy, sure let's take her back.

6--I think many of us are still in love with our exes a few years, maybe even many years after it all falls apart, but bottom line, if she is a grown ass woman with responsibilities and yet she acts more like some especially impressionable yet manipulative teenager being peer pressured into doing some truly repugnant shit, she's not really a partner, she's more like a burden, regardless of how much you love her.

One final bit of advice.

Look, if you're gonna go all "all of the other cheaters died horribly or are currently spiraling into the abyss while their jilted spouses are all millionaires", some people are going to like that, but when the PRIMARY cheating piece of shit gets a RAAC, none of that other shit matters to them. And the RAAC people whose hearts never stop bleeding for cheating pieces of shit will be just as horrified at the gang rape and demise of the other woman, even if the good doc isn't the one who ordered it, so you're gonna catch shit from some of them too. Figure out who your audience is for the next story, cause in the LW section, trying to throw a bone to everyone will just get you torn apart by a pack of angry dogs.

. . . a sappier ending. He burned the bitch, but wound right back up with her. The malefactors all wound up drug addicted or dead. He had millions stashed overseas.

Hank told us, repeatedly that he wasn’t a cuck, but he watched more of the sex tape than necessary. He’s written as a strong, manly man, but he wouldn’t stop his wife from going on the fuck fest weekend.

One real problem you need to address in your writing. Yes, this was told in first person, which isn’t a bad thing, but there were stretches of six and seven paragraphs consecutively which began with “I”. That gets to be prosaically jarring.

Not every detail is important. Driving a front loader is great but just doesn't fit unless this is an autobiography.

I had no problem with the story overall. My issue is with the “I have evidence that my wife’s being played but I mustn’t give her the information” mindset. Fuck that! Deal with it in a direct manner.

Letting shit happen instead of fucking over the perpetrators is just stupid.

Wow she cheats get divorced and then get back together. 3 chapters for nothing and wasting time reading them.

I'm not against reconciliation but in the right circumstances unfortunately this isn't one of those, it actually comes across as there are no "consequences".

Omg. Great parts 1 and 2 thrashed by this garbage.

Well, that was depressing.

The second chapter was the best (by huge margins).

I'm not going to lie though a lot of this story is just wholly fucked up. Your obsession with rape as a vehicle for revenge is seriously fucked up -- I mean I'm concerned for you (the real human being) that you think or rape as a means of extracting justice -- as a lighthearted "gag"... ... ... seriously concerning.

As for the rest of the story... I just have to have the conclusion that your a 16yo boy who has just 0-understanding of the world.

I mean really?! After she cheats on him and demeans him he still pays a PI to keep tabs on the offenders (why?), he still begs his wife to come back to him after two years? The guys a fucking doctor! He's not some crying looser -- what possible reason would he have to get back togethr with this bitch after two years of only sparse contact?

What's-his-name's decisions are just so unrealistic... so lacking in basic human quality... ... ... again, you must just be a child...

That said, your plot had potential... Your writing was (for Literotica) a good first stab. But this story really was unsatisfying in the end.

If this had gone the DTIverson plot route and ended with a happy story for him that'd been better... If she'd had stayed and they tried to deal with it that'd been better... If she'd gone and gotten into a bad situation but not gone all the way - that'd been better...

Essentially this last chapter was a total loss (and in need of violent editing, btw)...

It was a quality journey for the most part and for that I thank PKenny5860. However the narrator as written for most of the narrative was such a purist/ perfectionist that even after a period of healing , I didn't see full reconciliation as a credible option.

The deception and betrayal got the emphasis and lion's share of spotlight and nuanced. The author tried to have it " both ways " in terms of the ending where the cheater is rigorously chastened , then ushered back into circle of trust / soulmate / life partner status. Mallory lied too often, too easily and too vehemently even BEFORE the cheating for me to buy this ending.

By contrast the healing was paint by numbers and rushed. I prefer reconciliation in many cases - but have to shown in at least at much painstaking detail as the portrayal of why its viable and that the duplicity has been excised , not merely excused. See Ohio's seminal ' Brisket ' chronology for an example .Qualified props for are awarded to author for lion's share of this series . Full marks were awarded to previous installments . This one goes unrated.

And you ended a promising story with a dismal RAAC... Ugh.

He had all the evidence that Marie was an evil slut who destroyed marriages, but did nothing and let his wife get seduced into an orgy weekend. Okay fine, I get that he wanted to test her... but taking her back afterwards?!

She cuckolded and humiliated him and he destroyed her life with a BtB divorce, ending up with millions after the lawsuits. Why the hell would be ever take her back? Women love doctors... He was good looking, fit, well-endowed, and rich; he could land a hot twenty-something replacement with no effort at all!

This story could have been great if you had gone with either of these endings:

1) the wife stayed faithful after his guilt trips

2) he moved on post-divorce with a hotter, younger woman

With the husband suing everyone for his big payouts, you made him look like a pimp whoring out his wife! Especially as he takes the high-price hooker back afterwards!

Worst chapter ever.

You spent paragraphs and paragraphs on minutia that had no impact on the story arc and then skipped showing any growth or contrition on the part of the wife, making the reconciliation...just gross.

Drugged? Was she being drugged when she was being rubbed to a orgasm in a public venue? Was she being drugged the whole weekend? OMG, worst throw away excuse ever!!!

First two chapters showed promise, had some good writing and created investiture on the part of the reader and then.....complete disaster.

Btw, why not show the wife the tapes wherein her friend is conspiring? She wouldn't believe him, but she would have had to have been a moron to not believe the words coming out of her backstabbing friends mouth. Just one of the truck sized plot holes a good editor could have alerted you to.

Ugh,

Even so, you probably should be lauded for actually completing the story before publishing. And you have some skill with the written word (so wordy though). You desperately need a good editor to trim the massive amounts of excess verbiage and to help you write an ending that doesn't suck rocks, but...keep trying.

Francis_Toliver

The fucking whore won

Now arriving on track 3...its the reconciliation all cost train. This train made stops at stupid plot ville... boring town... and what's-the-point ville?

Good for you. Try another. You won't satisfy everyone, but that's a pipe-dream. You need editing and a beta reader or two. I swear that they are the best thing that you could have for your writing. People who don't use them are at a tremendous disadvantage. There are some good ones around. Browse some of the better stories you like and find out who they use. Ask if they'll read for you.

You did a credible job and it was your first story, I think. Keep going. Thanks for writing, Randi.

That is all I an say, someday you may find a real partner, until then, good luck

Well you lightly toasted her , and after a suitable interlude you took her back. Apparently, hopefully, she realized what she lost and worked to get it back. Doc McAllister wasn't a cuck, he took rightful revenge against the crew who helped Mal fall. Happy that Kharma, I.M., took Marie for a big ride, and sent her on her death spiral. The guy who actually cheated with Mal ended up a bloody mess. Accident? The boss lost his job and most of his money. Many will call the Doc a wimp and a cuck, but he wasn't. He was a decent man, whose wife made a stupid choice and broke his heart. He kept it civil for the sake of his children, and with the help of good friends rebuilt his life. This may be your first LW story, but I think that you have experience as a writer. For me an absolutely amazing story.

Sometime around 1980, I saw songwriter Jack Tempchin play as an opening act at the old Universal Amphitheatre. One song that he played was a number that he had written called "Slow Dancing", which features in this story.

I find it ironic that this very romantic sounding song is used here in a story about the end of a marriage. Ironic, because that night he introduced the song to us by saying "This is a song that I wrote for (pause, then sounding disgusted)...for some chick".

I've wondered for decades what the story was about that.

Couldn’t have asked for a better ending. Absolutely perfect!! Thanks for the story & keep writing!