All Comments on 'The Couch'

The most horrible feeling I've ever had was pulling out. A dick and cum belong in a pussy, no where else.

Your first story. The grammar want horrible, but enough there to make the assumption you typed it and submitted, thinking it was good (the mechanics).

You were wrong. Always read it a few times before submitting, The more times the better. It's very difficult to catch everything, no matter how many times you read it.

If you use more than about the exclamation points in 10,000 words, you're over-using them.

Little sis saying three lines is cheating your readers. We almost don't give a fuck about him. Its her we want to know better, especially in a short story like this.

The best line of the story was her telling him she wouldn't tell anybody, and you only gave her three lines. Shame on you.

Slightly ahead of, or behind, the dialogue, the most important part of an erotic story is the erotic part. Details. Basically, you told us he put his dick in her, fucked her, them rolled over when he was done.

How exciting did that sound? Yeah, not very.

Love finding a familiar story from a handsome old friend! 😉🙃