The Creators: Epilogue

When I came to my senses, the others had fallen into a blissful slumber. I could see the romances that would blossom by who they chose to lie with. Willowbud and Angela were nestled together with Lucilla. Brandon and Julia had sandwiched Diamond between them. These people who had once hated each other would find love as deep as what they'd known in life, for they would learn to suffer again. They understood now that it was necessary.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Justina muttered, her head resting on my shoulder.

"No," I whispered back.

"We've been circling this issue since the beginning. Every argument we've had, everything you've done this day, all of it is about this, but we never say it."

"We never will," I pulled her close. "It only has power if we acknowledge it."

"After that whole lecture about not facing things... Petra--"

"You can't face this, Justina. That's the point. You can't grow from it, learn from it, or even understand it. All you can do is look away."

"Petra--"

"Please, Justina," I hissed tightly, "not now."

She nodded and snuggled deeper into my arms. "Where should I go first?"

I inclined my head to Lucilla and Angela. "Follow the Bound Ones. They won't feel beholden to you like the angels do."

Justina chewed her lip nervously. "Lucilla will be content with staying in Freedom or Heaven, but Angela... one day, she'll want to go to Chaos, and she'll want me to come with."

"Then go."

"I'm afraid to."

"Afraid of what will happen to you, or afraid of what you'll become?"

"Both."

I smiled into her hair. "Doesn't it feel good to be afraid?"

She turned her head and smiled back at me. "Yes."

Part Three: A Dark Journey

ASTRID

For over four thousand years, the crowd had roared my name and my name alone. Countless warriors had come to claim my throne, and now their skulls adorned it, creating a towering chair over the gladiatorial sands. The arena was my church, citadel, and bedchambers, and I worshipped, ruled, and fucked in it before a roaring crowd. Many men had tried to tame me, and when I was done sucking their soul right from their spouts, I sucked their marrow right from their bones. Wiser men chose to wear the iron collar and join my harem of livestock. I had thousands of bulls and heifers, and I even had a breeding program to combine the ones I liked. If the calves showed promise, I would let them mature to adulthood like prized wagyu stock. If the calves were weakly or imperfect, well... I did enjoy veal. Was I a tyrant? Yes, but the people loved me, for I was just. My slaves were spoiled, my administrators were incorruptible, and my laws were few and fair. Pay tribute to me with your young and beautiful, and I will protect you. Disobey me, and face me in the arena to prove yourself the better. For four thousand years, no one could, but I knew the day would come. I had been training her for it all her life.

I knew I was going to die when the crowd chanted her name. The dusk sun was setting behind Skyborne's Spear, painting the skies bloodred, casting a shadow over the city of stone that stood where Droktin's Pass had opened so long ago. It was the greatest city the world had ever seen. The broad streets and towering buildings had grown like a tumor into the cratered hills of the dwarven princedoms and the plains of what was once Drastinar, but at the center of all this churning humanity, was my cathedral. A hundred thousand voices roared from the stands, their bone jewelry clicking, their tattooed muscled bodies gleaming with the summer humidity. There was not an ounce of pity in their eyes, and I would've been insulted if there was.

Tera sneered as she plucked my severed leg from the sands, and raised it to the adulation of the masses. Bathed in the crimson dusk, she struck a profile of absolute dominance. I couldn't have been prouder. I couldn't have been prouder when she sank her fangs into my thigh meat and ripped a chunk out before the frenetic stands. I couldn't have been prouder when she broke my final defense, chopped my arm off, then drove my own sword into my heart. The last thing I saw of that world was her reptilian irises dilating as she planted her kiss on my lips, and tasted the last life I had to give her. They chanted her name as I faded into blackness. 'Death Kiss! Death Kiss! Death Kiss!'

When I next opened my eyes, I was standing atop a foreign mountain in a foreign world. I was naked, but my sword was strapped to my back. I looked around at the strange convex landscape, the horizons that bowed upward instead of sloping away, and I wondered if something had gone terribly wrong, for the world below me was covered in a dense dark jungle. The sun was overhead, but there was a more persistent light that illuminated from the west. It was then that I realized there was something rolled in my hand. It was a piece of parchment. I opened it, and read it.

Astrid,

I don't know when this will get to you, but I know when it does, you'll come find me. Whenever that is. I really thought you'd be dead by now. Do you even still know how to read? Books aren't just for crushing skulls, you fucking neanderthal. Anyway, the girls and I--and by 'the girls' I mean the sidekicks--are playing a game, but it's getting a little out of hand. I can't believe Angela talked me into this shit. "Come to Chaos with me, Lucilla, it'll be fun, we'll learn so much about ourselves." She told me she'd look out for me. This was her third tour and she--and I quote--'knew the right people.' She immediately sold me to slavers for a bag of chips. A BAG OF CHIPS! I'm worth at least two bags of chips, the fucking idiot. Anyway, my escape plan was to use my sexual prowess to become the leader of this gang, then find Angela and turn her into the gang toilet until I could flip her for HALF a bag of chips, but unfortunately, the current gang-leader is... well, like I said, the sidekicks are playing. One of the sidekicks just happens to be--

"Hey Bloodlust, can we hurry?" Justina asked. "My gang's waiting for me."

I blinked down at God. She was wearing a skull for a hat, was painted head to foot in tribal symbols, and had an arsenal of weaponry strapped to her. By the state of her hair and the wildness in her eyes, she looked like she'd been out here for decades.

"Justina?" I gasped.

"What was that?" she replied, blinking confusedly.

"You're... you look different from when I last saw you." I held up the letter. "Lucilla and Angela are here? They made it? Who else made it? Did Brandon? Did Willowbud?!"

"Lucilla? Angela? Brandon? Willowbud?" Justina cocked her head like she didn't recognize the names.

"Willowbud!" I yelled and waved the letter. "And what's with Lucilla? Is she in trouble?"

Recognition dawned in her eyes, and they glinted with a strange kind of danger. "No, no, no..." she drawled, "...the pig-whore is not in trouble. What does that note say?"

"The pig..." I narrowed my eyes. What did Lucilla mention in the letter? This place was Chaos. That was the name of the final realm Diamond visited on her journey through Corruption. A cold horror gripped me. "Justina," I whispered. "What happened to you?"

"That name you keep calling me... I don't know who that is," she muttered. "The other names you mentioned are known to me, but they are old names. I can vouch for the safety of the one you call 'Lucilla,' but as for Angela..." Justina turned her eyes to the horizon, "...Red Fox controls the territory west of the gorge. I have not seen her since... I believe since she traded me the pig-whore for half a bag of chips, and that was many moons ago. If I ever see her again, it will be when I flay her flesh from her crisped body and make her eat it!" She looked back at me. "Now, what does that note say?"

I tore it up. "Nothing."

Her eyes narrowed, and she pulled out a strange sort of device. It had a barrel, a handle, and a trigger, and I intuited that it was a weapon, but not one I'd ever seen before.

"Do you know what they call me?" she hissed, pressing the barrel to my lips. "They call me 'Eight Ball'--mostly because I can snort a line like a goddamned elephant--but also because I can load and fire eight balls in eight seconds. You wanna know what my balls taste like?"

"Justina, I--"

"That's not my name, you stupid fucking sparrow!" she snarled. "Now, who the fuck sent you that letter? Was it Red Fox?!" She cocked the hammer. "There's only one way out of here, Bloodlust, and you're two seconds from taking the expressway."

I wrapped my lips around the barrel and took it down my throat. "Take your shot," I mouthed. "If you don't kill me, I'm gonna rip your fucking head off."

She stared at me with cold murderous eyes, not a hint of mercy in them. Then she grunted and pulled the weapon out of my mouth. "Eh, everyone knows you're tough," she hocked and spat over the cliffside. "The ultimate weapon and they all want you on their side. I was gonna offer you all the lands east of the Knife Mountains, but it appears serendipity has put an ace up my sleeve." She rummaged in her pouch and pulled out a bloody ivory horn. "That's right," she sneered at me, "I remember that other name. 'Willowbud.' So, you know the angel of Chaos, huh?"

My blood went cold. "Where is she?" I whispered.

She chuckled sardonically. "Oh, this is my lucky day. I suppose fortune favors the bold. No one else thought it was possible to capture the angel, but no one else is ME! Did she send you the letter? How adorable. Well, I've got her chained up and spread out, and if you don't do exactly what I want, me and the boys are gonna chop her up bit by bit from the--aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH!"

PETRANUMEN

"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Justina screamed, clutching at her neck with eyes wide in horror. She blinked when she realized she was back in our bedroom.

"How was your safari?" I asked, paging through the op-ed section of the Afterlife Tribune. My favorite columnist hadn't written in it for a long time, so I was mostly just scanning the words.

Justina frantically patted at her throat, then swallowed. "How long?"

"A hundred years in the bush."

"A hundred years?!"

"You somehow managed to survive a century of Diamond's reign, and you know how she loves to make things exceptionally brutal. You even got a few days into Willowbud's turn. Congratulations on lasting so long, but unfortunately, you did not break Angela's consecutive streak." I closed the newspaper I was reading. "So, did you learn anything new about yourself?"

She gulped again, seeming to test her esophagus. "I learned that if Astrid Skyborne says she's gonna rip your fucking head off, you should probably pull the trigger when you have a gun down her throat."

"Oh, Astrid's here! I should say hi!" I scooched off the bed and reached for my combat boots. "But you didn't tell me how your trip went. Did you explore your darkness?"

She'd gotten over her shakes, and was wiping her face down with a towel. "Yeah," she sighed, calming somewhat, "I pushed my limits like you told me."

I sat attentively next to her. "And...?"

"You saw it all."

"I want to hear it from you. Tell me how it started."

She sat back on the bed and continued mopping her brow. "Gosh, it was so long ago... at first, it was all fun and games, I guess. We made some new friends around the campfire. Laughing and telling funny stories, but there was this tension, like we were all watching the sun. The darker it became, the more everyone started to change. I became very aware that we were the only women in a large group of strange men. I remembered each of the men's faces in the sunlight, but the stronger the shadows became, the less I could recognize them. The less I could recognize my friends. Lucilla was moving between them like a deer brushing against wolves. Angela was talking about things she did during her last tours in Chaos. I always thought the stories she told were bullshit, but... the look in her eyes when the fire glinted off them... it was like I didn't know her."

"And you?" I asked, studying my love closely. "Did you tell the strangers who you were?"

"I made a promise not to, but the darker it got, the more fear I felt, and the more fear I felt, the more... aware I became. Like something in me was slowly waking up. Sitting in that circle with a bunch of strangers, their eyes were shining in the firelight. They took Lucilla first. Angela guided a few of her followers away, and I was left with the rest. Wolves all staring at me. I didn't know what they were going to do with me, but I knew how it would start."

I eased into a relaxed position and began petting myself between the legs. "What did you do then?"

"I told them who I was, and showed them the proof," she whispered. "Then, they weren't looking at me hungrily. Then, they were terrified."

I pushed three fingers into my slit. "How did that make you feel?"

Her eyes slowly went dead. "Good," she shuddered.

"And then...?"

She slid her hands down her belly. "We made a sacrament with my body. In the darkness of the night, in those wildlands where anything goes, I gave myself to them and took everything else. I've never moved like that before." She shifted sinuously on the bed, grinding with the wad of sheets between her legs. "I knew I couldn't show weakness. I took control. I became more savage than all of them. I wouldn't let them stop until they were sapped of their will and lying at my feet."

I slithered a hand behind me, pushed it into my crack, and slowly began stretching my anus. "What did you become in the wildlands, my love?" I whispered.

She dragged the wadded sheet between her legs and bit her lip when they bunched around her clit. "We captured a woman the next day. My first inclination was to let her go, but my men wanted her. I felt a different kind of fear then. Fear of myself, for I realized that if I showed mercy at that moment, that the wolves would turn on me." She frowned. "I convinced myself that I didn't have a choice, and once I made that conviction, it was like I gave up on being a person. That surrender felt... amazing."

"What happened to the girl?" I hissed, rubbing more fiercely, pushing deeper.

"We used her as a slave for a while. She became friendly, started enjoying her Chaos experience. Started talking about how she couldn't wait to tell all her friends back in Freedom how she actually lived." Justina snorted. "Stupid girl. The men didn't like that at all. They strung her up between the trees so that she was spread out, and then...."

"And then...." I hissed my voice tense, my body shivering.

Justina let out a long shuddering breath. "We started with the whip. She liked it at first. She didn't like it so much after a while. Every man had to outdo the one before him, and I had to be the worst. I had to, Petra."

"Don't justify yourself," I breathed jaggedly, so close to the edge. "Tell me your darkness."

She swallowed. "There came a point when we realized--when I realized--that this was going to go all the way. When I came to that realization, I became protective of the girl. She was blubbering and weeping, but I... I knew I couldn't save her. That was out of the cards. And this weird thing came over me like... I was protective of her, but I was going to kill her. I was going to do it slowly because the men needed to see my cruelty, but at the same time, that protective instinct was telling me to take care of her. My mind twisted it so that I felt like if I was the one to do it, then it would somehow be a mercy because she was in my hands. She was begging me the whole time, and I kept giving her these reassurances, and the men kept laughing like it was a joke, but I meant it. As I... did what I did, I felt this connection with her. It was like... gosh, how does Diamond describe it? In those moments when she was blubbering and begging and I was right there with her, doing those things, I was closer to someone than I ever had been. There was so much rawness; trust, power, need, desperation. It was all there. All the ingredients of love, but..." she reached out like she was grasping for something she couldn't hold, "...well, I couldn't make her love me back, but in those moments, I loved her even more than I love you."

"Beautiful!" I moaned, "tell me what you did to her! Did you use a whip? A hammer? A saw?"

Justina shut her eyes tightly and balled the sheets between her tensing legs. "I... I... I can't talk about it anymore!"

"TELL ME!" I was so close!

"A scalpel," she whimpered.

I curled violently upon myself and climaxed as Justina did the same. She arched from the bed and whined through clenched teeth; such an expression of conflict etched across her face. I watched it rapturously as I rode the violent waves, then we both eased from the moment, and I saw the predictable guilt wash over her. She brought her knees to her chest and huddled into herself, and I crawled across the bed and wrapped her in my arms.

"I did so many terrible things, Petra," she whispered. "A hundred years... it all melted together... the days, the months, the decades... Oh god, Lucilla! I don't even know who I am right now!"

"Shh, shh, my love," I crooned, stroking her hair. "It's Ok. All of your victims went to Chaos to find themselves, and you helped them. Do you see them now?"

"I don't want to look."

"Well, I see them," I kissed the top of her head. "That girl you told me about, her name is Emily, and when she died, she spent a few decades in Heaven recovering under Brandon's care. She was naturally traumatized, but that went away. Her friends invited her back to Freedom, but she grew bored of it quickly. She went to Hell and consulted with Julia about her feelings, and Julia sent her right back to Diamond in Chaos. She's on her fifth life there now, running a gang of violent forest women that track down men and do to them what you did to her." I brought my lips to Justina's ear. "She loves it there."

"So I created a monster."

"We all go through these changes here, Justina. That's the point."

She frowned. "To what end, Petra?"

"Why always this question? How many times do I have to tell you that there isn't a conclusion?" I ruffled her pure white hair,

She was quiet for a while longer. "You know what I'm about to say."

I felt a tiny lump in my throat. "We don't need to speak of it again."

Justina's breath was tense. "There is an end."

"I said not to SPEAK OF IT!" I hissed.

"We can't keep ignoring this flaw, Petra!" she snapped. "It hasn't happened yet, but it will happen!"

"WE WON'T LET IT HAPPEN!"

She turned around and leveled her gaze on me. "We don't get to--"

"WE WON'T LET IT HAPPEN!" I shrieked.

She blinked at my ferocity. "When it does happen, and it will, what will we say?"

I took a tight breath through my nostrils, and let the tension ease out of me. "I am. You are. That is all that matters. Every thought, every feeling, every wave of existentialism you have is because you are. That is true for everyone. I have existed for eons, and when I feel the great weight of time and I wonder if there's nothing left to experience, I always remember that the very musings I am having are temporary. I am, and that is all that matters." I put my hands on Justina's shoulders. "We must always remember that. We must never let anyone walk across the bridge."

She opened her mouth to say something but thankfully closed it instead. "You're right," she laughed. "My head's all screwed up from Chaos. I just need to get a new perspective."

A relieved smile cross my face, but I knew this wouldn't be the last time we had this conversation. Someday, someone would make the choice. Death only needed one victory to shatter this illusion and show the universe who the real God was.