All Comments on 'The Curious Mermaid'

Well written, and very sweet. It brought a smile to my face and warmed the cockles of my heart.

I hope that you keep writing, and that you don't lose this style of wonder and admiration that so reminds me of what it's like to fall in love.

Such a nice loving story. Oh please continue this adventure! Five Stars!

Oh, what must spawning be like for mermaids?! Surely no one man can handle the insatiable need to mate a mermaid must have! Maybe that’s where the myths of mermaids drowning sailors comes from. They get so horny that they just grab anyone they can? Oh, please write another one! A filthy mermaid spawning orgy!!!

But the ending was a bit abrupt.

Dammit there needs to be more

...and I wish there were more of it!

God damn that was awesome. A trilogy of this story would be pretty bad ass if I do say so myself. Would love to see it but I’m happy as long as the author keeps writing stories like this!

I’ve read this several times. If you have ideas, I for one wish you would add to the story. A change from my favorite btb category. But very entertaining.

... Eric and Alandrial need another page or two with time (maybe a day or three) for just the two of them to focus on each other and build their feelings of love. After that, Alandrial can unselfishly bring her friends, sisters and cousins for Eric to please.

This story really cries out for the two of them to fall in love, and Eric obviously just craves it.

I hope this gets made into a series, it’s amazing

with plenty of options for continuing, if the muse strikes you. I've been reading your MLV series; found it a few months ago, and read it throught to the beginning of the current Part. I've been impressed. Typically vamp stories don't keep my attention, but you have done such a great job with character and world development, I have throughly enjoyed the read.

You haven't mentioned, so I assume you self-edit, which, by the way, is the best for a beginning, non-published writer. I learned as much from editing, probably more, if pushed, than I did from writing. I spent about 30 years writing non-fiction; research papers, how-to articles on diverse topics, and even 8-9 years writing political essays. Working in the university world, where writing is a necessity.

A common mistake I find in Lit submissions is missing, or transposed words, ie: three words, with the first & third swapping place. Another very common error I find, which I can find no explanation for, is two words, either nouns or verbs, and synonyms, where there should only be one.

When I first saw this, I thought it was the author being undecided on which they wanted to use, with the intent to decide later, then overlooking it. I have, since, seen to much of it, in far too many writers, to think that is the explanation.

i haven't seen you do it. At least not enough to recall, but you do drop words, and swap words on a fairly common basis. Something which may well help, actually, it WILL help is if you read your work aloud during one of your re-write sessions.

I learned this, quite by accident, when I stayed after class to ask my grad assistant instructor a question, in my first college writing class. I quickly became a devout believer in the technique, when I discovered how much it improved my writing and editing.

She hinted the technique would be a big help, explaining the mind of a writer is easily tricked into reading what we wanted to, or thought we should have written, instead of what we actually wrote.

By reading aloud, as if we are reading to an audience; meaning projection of the voice, emphasizing pauses and stops, as dictated by punctuation, the brain is working harder.

When the brain is working harder, it doesn't have the ability to also trick us into reading what is not on the page/screen.

Give it a try, it should make your editing near perfect, and will also improve your dialogue, where needed. (Your dialogue is quite natural sounding, as is.)

As you are reading, if you hesitate, stumble or stutter, the passage needs work. It is just that simple.

Good luck, and thanks for sharing your vivid imagination and, especially, thanks for all the work it takes to prepare a Lit submission. The free reading material is greatly appreciated.

Regards,

GeoD

Very well written and very yummy too! Thank you!

This was quite enjoyable to read tonight, the mermaids were superduper cute while the pornographic bits were written pretty well. I'll be sure to check out some of your other works. :D

Excellent. Well-written, and one of the better portrayals of mermaids on this site.

Wonder job. Your descriptions were creative. Please DO make this a series.

Fantastic story. This one definitely needs more chapters. Please continue this wonderful story.

Oh, more, please!

What fun! So cute and erotic at the same time. Would love to hear more about their adventure.

Where is part 2?

Very Kawaii und Sweet!

11/10!!!!!

Deam what lucky bastard

This story definitely needed a part 2...death by mermaid snu-snu! Lol.