All Comments on 'The Curse of the Scots'

This is my favorite of your stories so far. I really like the development of Cayden. We all root for people who make mistakes and are genuinely repentant. We are all flawed in some way and hope that we have the fortitude to do the right thing even when it is hard. I don't see how he put up with his wife's antics, but guilt is powerful and people react in strange ways to it. If you are looking for feedback on problems in the story in general: Vince seems a bit over the top as the villain (How is he going to "find" Cayden and why would he care?) and the scene at the poker table after he bought Caprice wasn't as clear as the rest of the chapter. Keep up the good work!

They're few and slightly far between, TIna Turner, she *Don't need another Hero*, but Bonnie Tyler is still "Holding Out For One".

and Seven Chapters!

Cheers, and Thanks,

Kilroy.

Love the development of the characters and his guilt with his actions that culminated in his ex wife's current behaviour. He can't fix his ex, but maybe, just maybe, he can redeem himself in Caprice.

I'm a sucker for sentimental crap like this, so I'm hoping he fucks up Vince for good and Caprice realizes she is more than a whore waiting to die.

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

Enjoying your story which is quite good. Thanks for writing.

To me, that makes this a good story thus far. I invested time in learning about the characters and feel the need to learn how this all turns out. You wisely made the characters human, maybe too human, but interesting nonetheless. Stories like this require a lot of thought and effort. Thanks for the work on behalf of us readers!

This is totally crazy, not sure what to make of it yet. Please keep writing. Love it.

... Like one of my heroes, HDK, just said, these are some very interesting characters and I'm definitely looking forward to more.

But why 'The Curse of the Scots'?

I'm proudly Scots, not only by descent, but because I live here. We're no better or worse than any other nation, a few bad, a few lovely; most of us decent but flawed human beings. The human condition, wherever you are, and whatever your blood lineage.

Would it have killed you to warn that this is not complete story BEFORE having to open the story?

Looking forward to the next posting. Thanks.

He did warn you dumbass

well, not the story, but the female characters seems to be.

I enjoyed razor's edge poker showdown. The story shifted to a discernibly lower gear from there. As a farmer, there is a constant tipping point of vesting resources for a payoff. Nothing comes easy. The upside of whore reformation escapes me. This is a makeover project that would daunt GBS of Pygmalion fame.

The upside and motivation of reclaiming one's daughter is very understandable. The narrator blaming himself for baby mama's convict BF drama is a little artificial. It's one thing to be a slut & substance abuser, while a single woman but maintaining that status as a single mother. Please.

No mother of inherent substance can ignore that clarion wakeup call. Angie merits salvage status only as the mother of his child. The situation that kid is in is untenable to say the least. I do ascribe to the author's ideals, if not his literary vehicles to that i end.

The narrator started out in this story as a shrewd operator. Hopefully his selfless moves are not on vain, for the sake of his kid. Maintaining the semblance of credibility for the readers poses a definite challenge. I wish cavohi the best . His farme -narrator definitely has a long row to plough.

Good story - like most here, I am excited to see a dense, character driven plot.

I like the riff on the "save the abandoned woman" plot line... if it were easy, we'd all be doing it. And the public service announcement is that if you try to be a hero, many times you are setting yourself up to be ripped off.

On the other hand, I see a lot of possibility for the plot to go off the rails with the cliche that this kind of thing is prone to. I don't want a noire conclusion, but anything less may be untrue to the story.

I admire your presumption - and look forward to the next several bits.

Green-something

If I don't like it it's my right to vote low.

allows you to seem to be clever.

The nine of diamonds seems appropriate - since this started as a gambling scene.

Green-something

Its a very interesting story, and the characters have kept me engrossed. Its getting rare lately when I feel I have given a well deserved 5* in the Loving Wives category.

Broken man using a flawed approach to fix an equally broken woman. Can't see this ending well, as beating a broken person to death with "logic" and fixing the physical flaws doesn't "fix" the person they are inside.

I'm interested in seeing who's going to fix him. His inner thoughts seem to suggest he's not really much better a man than he used to be; he feels no guilt to what he did to other women, and just a twinge for the one he completely destroyed. At this point, kinda want to see everyone but the little girl Emily get a bullet in the face and put out of their collective misery. Thank god you aren't turning this into the expected horror show- I was thinking "Caprice" was going to turn out to be his daughter Emily.

I particularly like your characters.

Boyd Percy

"Don't Mess with Vince!"

Well, until Slim comes along. Just didn't think Slim would be a Scotsman!

Lots of interesting characters (term used deliberately), many of whom are likely to be important! Not a terribly sweet tale, yet...unlikely to become one.

Max points for a very promising start!

create living, breathing, complicated characters a reader can think about, feel for, ponder on. Carvohi has done that and much more. Literate, he has put literature into this site. a so rare occurence. I know that I will follow this tale wherever it goes. I know I will be thinking and wondering about these characters and their lives long, long after I have finished reading the story.

I made it to the end but I won't be reading the rest of the series great work though

First, I wish more authors would stop allowing Anondiot comments...

It was a little hard to get into the story early, but that happens when there is such depth promised. By the end I was hooked, but I have learned to be cautious with LW stories. This will be a story about a man mending women but in actuality if will end up being a story of a man mending himself in the process. I'm guessing he will end up having to show some super human powers of deduction and intellect. As long as it's not overdone I can find it acceptible. I'm just anticipating having to outwit Vince when it's time. Good start.

Complex characters, original theme/plot so far. Will be anxiously awaiting the next part.

Does he tame the whore,she is so far gone how would he. Bring her. Back! Is he a good guy or something else .

Sighs u actually have a intresting story and I hate u for making me wait for the next one if u have any mercy at all hurryyyyyyyyyy

I enjoyed part 1 of 7. I just hope that at the end there will be a conclusion unlike what the author did after part 4 of Revelations.

But I can wait

please continue

Good start to a longer novella type of story. Pretty downbeat in general, but hints of a positive future. Thanks Carvohi. 4 stars for now. Dan

At the moment I am unlikely to not try to read the next few. I admit I am a bit worried about where you are going, possibly because I have no clue...

You are an excellent writer and a great story teller. I am looking forward to the rest of your work. Thank you for entertaining me.

Please be quick to post the next part, its been two days now??????/

Yep, I do like your character development. And the first person narrative.

The masses are clamoring for the next chapter. Great start!

It's a shame all the btb church ladies chased the better writers out of LW. It really used to be something

I usually don't bother reading the longer, multi-chapter pieces as they always seem to devolve into same-old, same-old story telling. However, your work has always impressed me as well thought through and edited with a careful eye towards readability. I look forward to your next chapter.

That's a good start. Looking forward to the next instalment. The characters are nicely drawn (hopefully we will get to know them better as it develops); the scenario is sufficiently plausible; and we have no idea what is actually going to happen. Well done.

Good story thus far laddie. Interesting theme. Looking forward to the next chapter. Cheers!

This piece of story is bordering a Lit Masterpiece! The approach you took to writing this story was quite original; not only that, our "hero" is also quite original, being so irreverent like that!

Whether the odd character is describing --- in randomness --- how Vince and those bad Italians were trying to beat a whore to death in a dark card house in an ethnic neighborhood, or how he relates so lovingly about his beloved great aunt Maggie, the bi-polar who lived the longest, who left him these a few hundred acres of very productive lands... or how he tells his readers to fuck off and wait patiently until he comes to a certain section of the story he's telling --- sections he told us at the beginning he'd get to eventually, etc. --- it is so hilariously done, I laughed all the way...

And I am at the first half of PAGE TWO only! Had to stop and tell you this is one originally funny story.

Congrats; you must have put a lot of thoughts and a lot of work and a lot of typing into it....

An interesting story that has me curious for more. A bit jumbled. Chapter two is much better written.

im still not sure if I like this

What a great start. I have no idea where this is headed but I'll be reading.

Don't ask for anything from anyone. They will come back to you on their own, if you deserve it. Be confident, if you are good, they will come back. If you are not, however cajoling you do, they will never look back. Don't understand? Come back to me.

You are fucked in the head to be able to come up with this shit

And not taking his meds. "1*" !

I'm compelled to proceed with no small amount of excitement.

Not grattus

i can only think he is living a vicarious life through this piece of chit story. What a chitty story. MOST OF THESE AUTHORS ARE CHITTY. The only good ones are the cuckold loving ones.

It was a little tedious when you were doing his history. After that, it was stellar. Good job!

what a hoot! I loved it all, especially his crazy history.

Sometimes having one is a good thing, lets see where it goes

Great start. Dark stuff. Atonement though...guess we shall see.

Not much, if any, of this has sucked... it's all been a decent intro as it were...

Hoping that it manages to keep building without pulling a Jenga while at it... thx...

Really liking it. In a way his background is tragic, him being an asshole to Angie and messing her brain up with his callous attitude. Sadly it does happen in real life... At least he's growing up and is paying for it and making up for his sins.

Just 1* for this drivel.

I hate assholes who wouldn't know a good story if it up and bit 'em on their ass. I'll have to admit it was hard to get into, but once I did I thought it was well thought out and so far well worth reading. Keep it up and just remember there are people who enjoy the story and not just the smut.

i

there is a cure. TK U MLJ LV NV

black snake moan?

I hope the pace picks up some in the next chapters. And just a comment directly to the author. I don’t take kindly to being told to “fuck off”, whether it be by the author or a character in the story. That kind of insult is uncalled for regardless of what it means to the storyline.

I agree with Anony, telling your readers to Fuck Off is an ass hat move. Also, the whole making money at gambling thing is a complete joke. I've known many a fool who believed the same damn thing only to watch their luck (that's all it is) run out and the money run down. Pages and pages of crap about how successful and wonderful the protagonist is tells me all I need to know about the author. I'll be skipping anything else from you. I am thankful I only had to read a few paragraphs to pickup on the fact this is a waste of time.

...one of the better pieces I've read here. I like the pace and individual perspectives.

As the fish said to the fisherman. “You’ve got me hooked. Now you have to get me in the boat”. On to part next.

helluva start. Carry this through to the end with this quality and you have something here. Ignore the anon's with the attention span of a millennial.

Don’t know if this helps, but I liked this part.

Ok, very interesting start. You got my attention so I will keep reading. Very good details and description of people and events. I know this was written awhile ago, but thanks for your time and imagination.

Really well written, but damn this is bleak! Here's hoping for the Disney ending!

Real characters developed...a non-formulaic plot. Far too good for LW or Lit. I don't know how I missed this before.

This was a well thought out, and interesting story. I really like the main protagonist. I even like Caprice!!! Looking forward to the next chapters...

even the second time through. Plot, character development, all of it

I can always count on you for a well-written, stimulating story

Still love this story

~Enkidu

editing missing. two stars off...

Sometimes your works fascinate me. This is one of those. Mind you there are other works of yours that l truly dislike, even in a couple of cases hate. But this tale has my attention.

I’ll read on.

Scores 5/5

Let’s see if chapter 2 is as good as chapter 1.

You’ve got a warped mind! I love it so far!

So far, a very good tale. Uh Huh. LP

Ugly story about ugly people, I guess you write what you know.

Really like strange stories about strange people. I’m hooked.

This author really hates being questioned. Wanna receive a message wishing you are raped and beaten? This author is your man.

Please, just for the sake of reading continuity, learn the usage difference between “in” and “into” and “your” and “you’re.” I know that some readers say that grammar and spelling don’t matter, but they are full of shit. It doesn’t take an English major to know the rules of grammar and spelling; it just takes someone who paid attention in high school.

I like the introduction. These are all kinda trashy people (aside from Dell and Emily) and the scenery makes the whole thing a bit grimy. I appreciate that these are messed up people who have done messed up things. I like the idea of characters not knowing what to do, but trying. So off to a good start.

How does a farmer save a broken down whore, maybe the question is why does he attempt to save her? The first chapter opened an awful lot of doors for carvohi to answer in later chapters, so far a tremendous opening start.

Ok so far, but not up to the 5* of Coming Home (as yet!). Still, the 4* (on account of too lengthy an elaboration on a number of occasions) somehow kept me reading.

Also, the endless repeat of misogynistic terminology and the misogynistic character of the protagonist do not rock my boat, the suggestion of a kind heart underneath notwithstanding.

Appreciate your writing enough to check out the next installment, partly on account of the Coming Home story. That was really great work! Tx

Enthralled with this saga. Like Cayden, this story starts out in pain and pathos. Still there is so much potential for the plot as well as the women in Cayden's life. At least he is trying to be compassionate and less self centered.