The Dark Side of the Romantic Comedy Ch. 01

The older woman shook her head and put her hand to her mouth to conceal the wrinkling of her chin that always happened before she cried, taking a few moments to compose herself before answering Jason.

"Well, last week they told me that...that there'd been a mix-up and the Country Club wouldn't be available on Thursday. So...so I told them we could change the rehearsal dinner to Wednesday instead. Clarice thought that would be fine too and she made some calls and changed the parties to Thursday night."

Jason felt so relieved by the triviality of the problem that he actually laughed out loud and then reached across the table to pat her hand as he began to console her.

"This isn't a problem at all. My Dad really prefers to stay away from public gatherings, so this will be fine with him. And I'm sure the photographer and the ushers can tell him where to stand or where to sit on Saturday. Really, this will be fine."

Penny's mom took in a deep breath and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Are you sure Jason? I don't want anyone to feel like they've been left out..."

"Oh, I'm very sure. Very. He'll be fine." He gave her is most conciliatory, reassuring smile.

"But, what...uh...what 'parties' are you talking about on Thursday? I don't remember any party?" He looked back and forth between Penny and her mom looking for clarification.

"Well the bachelor and bachelorette parties, of course. Didn't your best man...your friend Brian isn't it? Didn't he have a plan for a party?"

"Oh...yeah...I guess so. I told him to keep it low key. Nothing fancy. I'm not a big drinker, really, and I'd rather not have a big sendoff, but even if I did, most of my friends aren't showing up until Saturday, for the wedding, so I really didn't think of it as a bachelor party. Just a little get- together." Jason rubbed his chin absentmindedly and looked to Penny and then back to her mom. "I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess that Penny's having a bachelorette party then?"

Mama was beaming again. "Oh...yes she is. Theresa is taking care of that and she is very, very excited. I think you're going to have so much fun. Becky will be there with Bob and Suzy with her husband and of course Theresa and Tim. And lots more I understand. All your old friends from school want to see you."

Jason smiled at Mrs. Miller's enthusiasm and casually shifted his gaze back to Penny. She was looking woodenly at her mother, her face an uncomfortable, rigid mask with a painted-on smile, a poor attempt to hide that this new development was a problem for her.

Jason felt something move inside of him, something worrisome.

*****

The rehearsal dinner was just getting started and Jason already wanted out. For two days he'd felt like he'd been on display for the old friends of Penny Miller, not particularly unlike the new ring she wore, subject to admiring glances or squeals of excitement and the occasional relatively surreptitious look of vague disapproval or even resentment, and this dinner only promised more of the same.

The main problem was Theresa Southern, a tall, attractive woman with a somewhat regal, officious bearing who sat directly across the table with her rather inebriated husband Tim, a thickly built, ruddy man with combed back hair and mutton chops. Theresa who had been the head of the cheerleaders in high school and had somehow managed to maintain her position of authority a decade after, was the self-proclaimed best friend forever of Penny, and seemed to be officiating over the dinner conversation like some sort of a talent contest judge, deciding what topics were appropriate and which jokes were funny.

Jason had met Theresa the day after he arrived in Centerville and since then she'd been an omnipresent irritant, manipulating wedding, dining and general entertainment plans subtly and sometimes not-so-subtly, inviting or dis-inviting friends to one event or another, cajoling Penny to go along with her notions of appropriate dress, speech and company.

The most annoying, and worrisome event, though, had been Theresa's insinuation of Kenny, high school football star, prom king and former boyfriend to Penny into the social agenda, including dinner and a group movie the night before. Kenny was a rough edged, square jawed country boy with a smile full of bright white teeth, a shock of thick, wheat colored hair and a booming, ingratiating voice. Jason found him to be affable and glib, probably someone he would have gotten along with well if he hadn't been the centerpiece of Theresa's apparent desire to celebrate Penny's Jason-less high school past. But now Kenny sat next to Theresa, smiling broadly, his head bobbing and chortling at every story that had been resurrected from the group's collective history, all of which involved him and Penny; and it had become almost too much to take.

So, he chewed his chicken slowly as he listened to yet another story recounted in a highly excitable, nearly feverish tone, by a tiny, brown haired mouse of a woman sitting next to Theresa from Penny's high school years. The current recollection involved a chapter of the old, apparently epic romance between Penny and Kenny, this time a story about Kenny hiring a horse and buggy to take Penny to the prom in style. Penny was blushing and Kenny was beaming at the retelling while Jason felt a vague, growing sense of nausea that threatened to send some of the rubberized chicken back to his plate.

"...oh, and Penny was wearing that old fashioned hoop dress...do you remember? She was just gorgeous, swishing and swirling into the dance floor like she'd just come from the set of 'Gone with the Wind." She paused, nearly breathless, nervously swallowing as she looked around the table, evidently assuring herself of the group's approval of the story before continuing, her voice even more high pitched than before.

"And Kenny, he was wearing that old style black tux with that top hat and danced that old waltz or something after they'd been announced as the King and Queen..."

Theresa nodded toward Penny and gestured to her with her fork, smiling sentimentally. "Nobody has ever looked prettier or happier than you did that night, girly." She looked back and forth between Penny and Kenny. "You two were spectacular." A howl of agreement went up from the other women at the table.

Penny blushed nervously while Kenny beamed and for once he had nothing to add over the growing cacophony of voices describing different perspectives of that particular dance on that particular prom night. By then Jason had retreated completely into his own thoughts, trying as best he could to dissociate himself from the ongoing conversation in order to maintain any sense of equanimity. He looked around the room, spotting Penny's parents at another table and wished that they'd been seated with them instead of Penny's friends. He checked the decorations for a moment and wondered why Penny had chosen green and yellow when her favorite was royal blue, before realizing those were the school colors of Centerville high, chosen by Theresa. Finally, he returned his gaze to the animated faces of the men and women at his table, suddenly experiencing an overwhelming feeling of isolation, an alien at his own party.

"Sorry, they are maybe getting a little carried away." He barely heard the voice above the noise and his own self-imposed separation from conversation. He turned to his right to face the speaker, a plump freckled woman with brown, curly hair, squinty eyes and a crooked smile.

"Huh? What did you say?"

She nodded across the table toward Theresa. "Sorry she's kind of taking over. It's just that...well, she knows everyone around here so well and they are all so close...I don't think she means to cut you out of everything."

Jason felt some tension dissolve and managed a smile. "Yeah, I get that, I think I understand. It's just a little hard to join in when I don't know any of the stories. And...I guess I have my mind on some other things."

The brunette continued to smile. "Like your upcoming marriage?"

Jason gave a snort of a laugh. "Yeah, like that..."

"Well, my name is Betsy. Betsy Palmer. I don't know if you remember..."

Jason interrupted. "Yes, yes, I met you yesterday...at the mall. I remember."

They engaged in a low key, introductory conversation for a few more minutes when, from across the table, Jason heard his name mentioned as part of a question. He looked over with a slightly puzzled look and realized Theresa was addressing him.

"Sorry, uh, Theresa, what did you say there? I didn't catch it."

Theresa smiled blandly at Jason. "I asked..." she started, emphasizing the word 'asked' with a trace of exasperation at having to repeat the question. "...if you could tell the rest of us what...exactly...you do. Penny seemed to think you'd do a better job of explaining."

Feeling a flush of blood to his face at the sudden, unexpected attention, Jason began to stammer out an explanation.

"Well, I...uh...make and manipulate economic models using a variety of new and advanced analytics in order to help our firm make investment and marketing recommendations for our clients."

His answer was returned by blank stares by everyone. "Well, that's clear as mud." Kenny stated, half laughing. Jason looked to Penny who gave him a smile and nodded her head, encouraging him to keep explaining. He smiled back and, still a little flustered, tried again.

"Sorry...sorry. Really, it's not that complicated. I just sort of put my finger to the air, mathematically, to try and help our clients...other companies and investment institutions, figure out what to do with their products or if they should release stock. That sort of thing."

This explanation was met by some murmurs, half smiles and nods, but the room seemed suddenly quiet and Jason felt an urgent need to fill the air. He took in a deep breath, plastered on his best fake smile and, in what he hoped sounded like an engaging and interested voice, addressed Kenny, who seemed more than a surprised when he heard Jason ask him a question.

"So...uh...Kenny. Penny tells me that you work at the Ford Dealership we drove by coming into town, do you like the work? Good job?"

Kenny raised his eyebrows in a way that betrayed a sense of suspicion, and began answering in a voice that was quiet and slow for him, choosing his words carefully.

"Yes, yes it's a good job. I think so. It can be long hours, sometimes, but I...I like it..."

"Are you in sales then? Selling the cars?"

Kenny's tone changed abruptly, his response sharp, tinged with anger a hint of resentment.

"No. No I am not a salesman." He answered, emphasizing the word 'not' through gritted teeth. "I am one of the managers. I do more then sell cars. Lots more..."

There was a moment of awkward, embarrassed silence and Jason felt the weight of all the eyes in the room upon him, feeling that somehow he'd made a horrible social error but not understanding quite what it was or what, exactly to do about it.

"Sorry, I...I didn't mean anything by it. Sorry." He stammered out, opening his hands in a gesture of peace, offering a weak smile. He felt a little relief when Kenny gave a halfhearted smile back and mumbled, "it's ok."

*****

Cramped together in a double bed in Penny's old bedroom, with moonlight streaming through an open window casting poorly defined, ghostly shadows, Penny and Jason lay in each other's arms recounting the events of the evening, performing a post-mortem on the rehearsal dinner. They both agreed that it was more than they had in mind. Too much food, too many people, too much noise and far, far too much tension.

"What was up with the bad ass reaction to asking if he sold cars? He practically blew up there. I wanted to melt into my chair and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one.

Penny pressed her lips together in thought and looked sightlessly up to the ceiling, formulating a reply.

"Kenny carries some baggage Jase, you have to understand that. It's really not his fault that he blew up. Not really..."

Jason rolled over on his side and peered at Penny closely, his brow furrowed in concern and frustration. He interrupted her in a clipped, businesslike voice, the warmth having drained out, replaced with annoyance and frustration.

"Wait...are you saying that it's my fault? I honestly don't see what I did that was that bad. Seriously, I had no idea he'd be that fucking sensitive. I wasn't trying to make him look or feel bad or create scene. I was just trying to make some sort of conversation by asking a totally benign question."

Penny gave Jason a half smile and rolled to face him, raising her hand to stoke his cheek while she formulated a reply.

"Oh Jase, it's not your fault at all baby. It's just that you have to understand about Kenny, about his insecurities."

"Come on Penny, we all have insecurities, but we have to live with them. You can't just blow up every time someone says something that bothers you."

"He didn't really blow up that bad..." She began to answer. Jason raised his eyebrows in incredulity and began to open his mouth to interrupt before Penny changed her tact.

"Ah look. It's this way. Kenny was always the big man on campus. Top athlete. Most popular guy. That sort of thing. But it all sort of ended after High School. He didn't get the football scholarship he wanted which meant he didn't go to college or get the job he wanted..."

"Or the girl he wanted." Jason interrupted pointedly.

"Or the girl he wanted." Nodded Penny in concession, before smiling and leaning over to kiss Jason, her hand stroking his face in a reassuring gesture. "Don't be mad about my friends, please."

Jason wrinkled his nose slightly and gave a weak smile.

"I'm not mad...really. I just feel like, I don't know, like you still have this connection with Kenny. I almost feel like I have to..."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Like you have to what?"

"I don't know...compete for you or something. It makes me kind of crazy I guess."

Penny's expression became incredulous, her mouth opening in surprise before she answered..

"Oh come now, you don't have to compete for me...I'm yours, you know that. What gave you that impression?"

Jason pursed his lips and furrowed his brow before giving a hesitant, embarrassed answer. "I don't know. I guess...I guess when Kenny showed up with that girl last night and again tonight, it kind of seemed like he was trying to make you jealous. And the way you reacted it seemed like it worked. Like you were upset with him giving attention to another girl or something. I know you were pretty serious, but I guess it seems like, for Kenny at least, he's not really over his feelings."

Penny pressed her lips together in a thoughtful expression for some time before answering, her speech deliberate, her words carefully chosen.

"Look, Jason. You know Kenny and I were together a long time right? From the time I was a freshman in high school until a couple of years after graduation?"

Jason nodded his head. "Yeah, you told me that."

"Well, I told you we were thinking of getting married and that's true. We were really planning on it. Had honeymoon ideas and everything. But after I graduated, things got a little strained. Kenny wasn't really interested in a white collar kind of a job. He just wanted to stay here, live the small town life and do small town things. But I wanted to go to college and do something with a degree. So, we had a couple of disagreements, but finally I went off to college and he stayed back here. We were still together, I was coming back on weekends and we spent the holidays together, but he started getting jealous."

Jason shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of recognition. "I know the feeling."

Penny smiled and continued.

"Well, he started coming up to campus and sort of catching up with me at odd hours. He said he was just trying to surprise me, but he was really checking up. In fact, a couple of times I caught him outright spying on me. So, anyway, it all came to a head one night in the library. I was in a study group and I was going over some essay questions with this guy when he sort of laid his hand down on mine, kind of flirtatious I guess, but no big deal. Well, it turned out Kenny had been hiding in back of some of the book shelves and he comes out and tells the guy to keep his hands off me. I was mortified and Kenny and I had this gigantic fight, right there in the library. I ended up taking off my ring and throwing it at him. Told him to not bother me anymore, to just stay away."

"Huh, you never told me that before. Was that it then? Was it over at that point?"

"Well, we talked on the phone and got together once or twice after that, but it just wasn't the same. I moved on, met you, and here we are." She snaked her arms around Jason and pulled him tight, put her lips to his ear and whispered. "And it's just you and me now. Kenny is just an old friend. OK babe?"

"OK." Jason smiled and kissed her neck. He lay on his back while she used his chest as a pillow and within a few minutes he could feel her rhythmic breath on his chest as she fell asleep while he lay awake staring at the ceiling.

*****

John Raymond Bright was a tough looking man with a leathery, square jawed face and salt and pepper hair minimally fashioned into a severe buzz cut. He sat between his son and Jason's best man, Brian Huet a handsome and well built, curly haired man with an engaging, mischievous smile, in the only bar in Centerville that served food; a sports bar that also played rock and roll music loud enough that the conversation was strained. He rubbed a meaty hand over the bristles of his scalp as Jason described the events of the week, including Kenny's angry outburst during the rehearsal dinner.

"God, what a prick." He said with a loud, gravelly, matter-of-fact voice as he reached for his beer. "I mean he sounds like a total fuckwad."

Brian laughed in agreement and took a bite of his hamburger while Jason just shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, maybe, but, anyway Dad, you didn't miss much. I'm pretty sure you'd have thought it was pretty boring."

"Yeah, probably." John said while munching on some French fries. "Probably would have just ended up embarrassing you anyway, so it's just as well."

Jason started to disagree, but John stopped him with an upraised hand.

"It's ok Jase. We both know this here," he motioned broadly to the barroom scene around them, "is about the best I can do."

Jason took a drink of beer and swished it around in his mouth before swallowing. "Yeah, well this is ok by me too, Dad. Better than last night, anyway."

John Bright looked at his son carefully and then gestured again to the bar. "Is this all you wanted for your bachelor party? A couple of hours in a sports bar eating burgers with this smiling fool here and your old man? No dancing girls or anything?"

Jason shook his head vigorously.

"No Dad, this is fine. It is. And honestly, even if I wanted some dancers or something...well, this is a small town and word would get around. I wouldn't want to start my marriage out on the wrong foot, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." John nodded as he took a bite of his hamburger. "I know."

The three men spent another hour in the bar, talking, joking, drinking beer and taking in a football game on the big screen TV behind the bar before the conversation ran dry and they mutually decided to call it a night.

In the parking lot, Jason waved goodbye to Brian then climbed behind the wheel of his car while his Dad slipped into the passenger seat with a grunt. Both men seemed to be lost in their own thoughts as Jason navigated the car out of the parking lot and down the highway to John's hotel, neither speaking, both staring at the highway, wearing the blank mask of men who really weren't seeing anything.