The Date from Hell

What the hell? Was that who I thought it was? Alice's voice?

"We are leaving together. Come on, let's go." said a male voice. The voice of the big piece of shit that partnered with her at the infamous darts game.

I turned my head to see, and I was right. Alice and the big asshole were having a fight of sorts.

"I am not coming. Leave me alone!" she said emphatically. And then the piece of shit grabbed her.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" asked George. "Leave the woman alone! What is this shit man?"

"This ain't none of your business, so keep minding yours and stay out of mine!" he replied to him in a menacing manner. Then he turned to Alice.

"Come on babe, we are leaving." he told her.

"I am not your babe, and I said no. I don't want to go with you. Leave me alone!" she said.

"What the fuck is this?" he said. "You think you can tease me all night long and everybody goes home happy? I stood for you out there! You owe me! Now, come with me the easy way or else!"

"Like hell you will!" said George and got off the table.

Shit. I can't let the asshole harm my friend.

The commotion was enough for the bouncers to start coming our way.

"Please exit the club now. All of you." said one very big guy with a menacing but professional look, staring down at us.

"This is a misunderstanding," I interjected. "If you would allow me. This man," I said showing the big asshole, "wants to take this woman 'home', which probably means to his house. She clearly objects to this. So my friend here," I said showing George, "who is also her friend, intervened to help. This could turn ugly, as in rape-ugly, for this woman." I said, showing Alice. The bouncer's face instantly changed to very curious and alarmed.

"Don't listen to this asshole!" said the big guy. "He is full of shit. And this has nothing to do with him, none of his business anyway!"

"Ma'am, is it true? Are you in danger?" asked the bouncer, looking at Alice.

"I can take care of myself!" she answered defiantly. What the fuck is she thinking???

"Ma'am, this is no joke. Are you in danger, as he said?" he asked her, pointing at me.

"As I said, I can take care of myself." she repeated.

"In that case, please leave the premises at once. All of you." said the bouncer.

Alice, the asshole, George, Joyce and I all went outside. As did one of the asshole's friends. About as big as him. Once we were outside and could be heard, I asked Alice:

"I want you to tell me one thing. Do you want to go with him as he says?"

"That's none of your business!" she spat.

"Damn straight it ain't!" said the asshole.

"Actually Alice, for once I do agree with you. I normally wouldn't interfere if it weren't for my friend here. But he intervened, and I cannot allow him to get in harm's way. That is the only reason I am taking any part in this. For him, not you. You make your own choices. After all, you are one independent, strong woman, right Alice? You can take care of yourself, right? Even if it is this guy and his friend. No problem for you, right?"

"Fuck you!" she spat.

"OK. Fuck me it is then." I said shrugging.

"Alice, cut the fucking bullshit goddammit!" George said. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You wanna get raped? Gang-raped, actually? Is that a thing you wanna do?" he asked, very angry and without fear, That's my George, my friend. I truly felt great to have such a guy as my friend.

"Alice, honey, you said you didn't want to go with them!" implored Joyce. "What is wrong with you? Why do you act like this? This is very dangerous for you, don't you see that?" she said in a very loving but alarmed manner to her friend.

"I heard enough. Let's go now." said the asshole.

"Leave me alone! I don't want to go with you!" said the bitch to the asshole. They should probably get married. A cunt and an asshole; great combination. Together they would form a functional female midsection.

"I said we are going. Now." he said.

"Alice. I will ask this only once. Do you need help? Or not?" I asked her.

"Fuck you, asshole! I don't need your help!" she spat back.

"OK." I said. "Fine with me."

"Alice goddammit! What the fuck!!" shouted George, and went to grab Alice.

"Leave her alone, asshole!" said the asshole to my friend and went to grab him.

Wrong move motherfucker.

"Leave him alone or you'll be sorry." I growled to him.

"Fuck you asshole!" he spat.

"Leave him or I.WILL.FUCK.YOU.UP. Completely. Leave now. This will be your final warning." I said.

The asshat decided to charge me. I sidestepped as he came towards me and heel-kicked his right ankle with my full weight as he stepped on it. The bone-crushing was clearly heard across the street, as well as his scream of pain as he fell, out like a light from the shock.

Everybody froze. After the initial shock, his startled friend started to half-come my way.

"You wanna follow?" I asked him, showing towards his fallen comrade.

"...no..." he answered.

"Run." I ordered. He obeyed. Joyce was shocked, as was Alice.

I was very angry. Terminally angry. At Alice.

"Happy now? This piece of shit over here is going to walk with a limp until the day he dies, because of you!"

"Fuck you!" said Alice with a voice with a lot of stress, fear, anxiety and sense of defense from my outburst. "I didn't ask you to..."

"Shut THE FUCK up!" I raged. "George was not going to let you get raped tonight! If you had told the truth to the bouncer in the club, this wouldn't have happened! All this happened literally because YOU wanted it to happen! George is the only one that saved your pathetic ass from rape tonight! He is your fucking savior!"

"Technically, you are her savior, Rob, not me." said George.

"I wouldn't move a fucking finger for this fucking piece of shit!" I said, pointing at Alice. "After all, I asked her many times if she wanted my help and I also asked for the bouncer's help. But she had to be high and mighty! She would prefer to get gang-raped than receive any help. Maybe that's what she wanted all along. I don't know and I don't fucking care. But I would give my life for you man. And your wife. You know that." I said, trying to calm myself.

"You," I continued, glaring at Alice, "are a self-entitled bitch. A goddamned piece of shit. I don't wanna see your fucking face ever again. And I do mean, never, ever, EVER again. Get the hell outta my face and stay the fuck away, you hear?" I growled menacingly to her. My expression probably conveyed the disgust I felt for her at that time. Which was a pretty fucking lot.

Her expression was of total shock. She didn't respond.

"I'll have to stay for the cops." I said to George and Joyce. "You go."

"We ain't going nowhere. We are staying right here." said George, and his wife.

"I... I will stay too..." whispered Alice, looking downward with wide open, wet eyes.

"I don't give a flying fuck what you do. Just stay the hell outta my sight. You fucking disgust me!" I said to her. I sure as fuck meant it. She understood my sincerity for sure, as she complied. She went to the other side of the club entrance, and we all waited for the cops.

---------

A few days later, at the coffee shop.

"For the life of me, I don't know why she acted this way, Rob. She acted like a..."

"Cunt. Certified cunt." I answered Joyce.

"It is all so contrary to what I have known about her all these years. A very logical, down to Earth person. Yes, fiercely independent, but not what I saw there. That was..."

"A cunt in action?" I asked her.

"Oh, stop it! She was, so childish, so defensive. As if she needed to prove something to someone. Why would she do that?" asked Joyce.

"Because... she is a cunt?" I asked her.

"Oh shut up Rob! I understand how you feel about her, after I saw it myself, but she still is my friend. This behavior doesn't fit what I have known all these years." she exclaimed.

"Well, you know her better than I do. So..."

"But that's it. I have seen her in many different situations and stages in her life. She was just like I knew her. Not... this."

"You mean a cunt?" I asked with my tongue out.

"Rob, I will spill the coffee on your head! Shut it now!" she said in a half-laughing, half-menacing tone.

"OK, peace!" I offered, raising my hands in mock surrender.

"You know, I tried calling her after the whole incident with the cops and all. After they took our statements."

"Thank God the bouncer was there and saw the whole thing. Otherwise I would be in the slammer. For the cunt!" I exclaimed.

"Rob, stop it. Yes, it is very fortunate. You did the right thing, you know. He would probably have raped her." she said.

"No Joyce. THEY would have raped her. Gang-rape. Maybe its a thing for her, she wanted it to happen?"

"No way!" exclaimed Joyce, clearly seeing the mental picture and not liking it one bit.

"Well, you never know people unless you truly find the truth about them. What was her take on the whole shebang? Not that I want to know, but as we have to talk about the cunt, why not ask all the way, right?" I said.

Joyce threw the cup of her coffee container at me.

"I said, don't talk about my friend like that! Please respect my wishes. You don't have to like her, and I understand why. But she is my friend, I love her, she has been there for me for many years, we have been through so much together, and I am seriously concerned about her. None of this fits!" she said.

"Well, why don't you talk to her then? Find out from the source?" I suggested.

"I have tried. She won't take any calls. They all go to voicemail." she said, worried.

"Well, maybe she wants some time alone? Although, it has been what? Five days now? Almost a week?" I asked.

"This is not her. This is not the Alice I know. None of this fits. I have to see her. Talk to her." she contemplated.

"OK then, go find her. She is your friend after all." I suggested.

"That she is. By the way, if I need any help, can I count on you?" she asked.

"NO. N.O. Joyce, don't even THINK about it." I said with a finality that was very resolute from my part. "I don't want to ever see her again. No way in hell. I am serious here, please hear me out, OK? Joyce? No contact with me ever again."

"OK, I hear you Rob. OK. I still think you are making the mistake of a lifetime, but it's your life." she said in surrender.

"Joyce, after everything that's happened, you still believe that shit? Come on!" I said, exasperated.

"I am entitled to believe anything I want to believe. And yes, I believe that you two are meant for each other."

"Joyce, I would give my life for you or for George, you know that. But I think you need to seek professional help!" I said half-chuckling.

"Anyway, Rob, I'll go now. I'll let you know." she said, ready to leave.

"No, you won't. I will pass on any pertinent information, thank you very much Joyce dearest!" I answered.

Why the feeling that this was not to be the last I would hear about the Alice issue?

---------

Surprisingly, the demoness from the guts of hell was not mentioned again. Joyce seemed to respect my wishes. I never asked her about Alice, and she never told. And all was good in the world. It is a well-known fact that ignorance is bliss. Let sleeping dogs lie. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Or all of the above.

Weeks turned into months, and soon it was Halloween. George and Joyce decided to throw a costume party for a select few friends - which means scores of people, and of course I was most definitely not just invited, but life-threatened to be there under any circumstances. I wouldn't say no of course.

I gave some thought on what to wear, and decided to keep it simple. I decided to become one of the Daltons from the comic 'Lucky Luke', the guy that could shoot faster than his own shadow. I put the stripped yellow T-shirts, a nice belt for the 'guns' - fake of course, cowboy hat and boots, a fake nice and long mustache, and lo and behold, a smarter version (I hope!) of Averell Dalton. After the masterpiece called 'myself' was done, I rode my trusted iron horse to the couple's house and actually was the first one to show up. Joyce and George had a fit when they saw me; they had a pretty good laugh for a while before they allowed me in. I helped them with everything, and soon other people started arriving. And of course Averell Dalton was a hoot.

The party was going very smoothly, I was mingling with everyone and generally had a great time, and the alcohol flowed. I was feeling good, but I was not yet at the point of feeling no pain. As I went to the table to make another drink for myself, I felt a light nudge. I turned my head and saw a very voluptuous but thoroughly face-covered genie looking at me with a pair of big, playful, beautiful eyes in a very unusual, yellowish color. She looked at the drinks and me, and blinked. Well, I looked at her, looked at the drinks, nothing happened. Blinking was all it took for the genie in the movie to have anything she wanted but, sorry to break the news to you, genies are not real. So I shrugged, took her plastic container, put some Scotch in it, put some ice, and gave it back. She blinked her eyes and walked away, in a so very feminine way. This genie was so sexy I couldn't take my eyes of her. And the little minx knew it, she looked at me playfully with smiling eyes. Of course, her eyes were all I could see, the rest was covered. I couldn't even see her hair. Poor Averell found himself crushing over an immortal entity from a different era and about a dozen thousand miles away to boot. Yeah, genies are from Arabia, and were actually called jinn. They were male or female, but the one I saw was all woman. And what a woman!

After I poured my drink, I started looking around to find her. I didn't. And I did look. But I couldn't locate her anywhere. I found Joyce.

"Hey Joyce, have you seen a genie around here?" I asked her.

"A genie? A very covered one?" she asked me back.

"Yes, that's the one. Did you see where she went?" I asked.

"No." she said playfully. "Do I see interest in the Arabic occult?" she playfully asked me.

"Yes, completely academic and historical interest. Nothing to do that she was a wet dream or anything of the sort!" I answered with a smile.

"I will have my eyes open. If I find her, I will send her your way, OK?" she said playfully.

"Well, sure, why not." I said.

"OK, I will. Now, go back and have a good time in my party!" she replied with her sing-song voice. She got a 'yes dear' from me, as if I was her husband, and I went along with the program.

As the party died, I searched for the elusive genie yet again. No, I couldn't find her anywhere. A true genie, just disappeared from the face of the Earth. I decided not to think about this anymore and just go with the flow. I did get in touch with two beautiful ladies that night, but was not in the mood to pursue anything further. I had that genie on my mind all the time.

Soon I felt like I could really use some rest, and I went to the guestroom to have a nap. I couldn't keep myself awake. I just flopped on the mattress and slept like a log.

In the morning, I woke up, went to the bathroom, and then opened the door to the living room. Joyce and George were probably upstairs sleeping, nobody in sight on the whole floor. I just took myself out of their house, in my car and back to my own house. I proceeded to clear my head doing sweet nothings, drinking water, watching some Netflix to pass the day and having a good night's sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I saw that I had voicemail. It was from Joyce, and she wanted me to call her. So I did.

"Hey sleepyhead! Or should I say drunk outlaw?" she said laughing.

"Serves me right!" I said smiling.

"We never saw you leave. What happened to you?" she asked.

"Well, I had a bit too much to drink, and decided to crash in your guestroom a bit. Then when I woke up, I found that you were not there, so I figured you must be asleep in your room, and I came here. Been in self-induced therapy all day yesterday, and now I am just a tad better." I said.

"Good to hear. By the way, you did ask me about a certain... Genie, right?" she said.

"Yes, I did. Did you find her?" I asked. My heart skipped a bit.

"Well, kind of. I did see her after you disappeared on us, and, as I found out later, went to sleep in the guestroom. I didn't want to wake you up, you seemed so tired. Anyway, I talked to her a bit. She did ask about you, you know!" she said. I skipped another beat.

"Really?" I asked her. "What did she ask? What did you tell her?"

"Well, that you should cut the crap and meet, like adults!" she answered, laughing.

"Oh Lord, don't tell me she is yet another friend of yours, I will cut my veins!" I said, laughing.

"Do you want to speak to her or not?" she asked me a bit forcefully.

"Of course." I answered.

"OK then, I will give her your contacts and leave it up to her." she answered.

"Come on, Joyce! Why not give me hers?" I asked her.

"I am sure it will be better if she contacts you first. Always give the woman the choice, Rob. She will feel safer and in control. You are not a small child anymore!" she answered back.

"OK, OK, I get it. Just do it already!" I said, maybe a bit too eagerly. That elicited a laugh from Joyce, before she agreed.

---------

It wasn't until a few days later that I got some form of contact. It was a friend request from a girl with the name 'Maybellene', like the Chuck Berry song of the '50's. Either someone was pulling my leg, or we had similar tastes in music. Maybellene had no last name, so it was probably a fake profile. Most certainly, as the pic was a genie. Well, at least it probably was her.

I accepted the friend request. A bit later I got a text with hearts, emoji's and a 'Tx for the add!' which I replied with a more Doric version of 'Thanks back'.

After a while I sent her a message about her name. "Luv your name. Maybellene is amongst my favorite Rock'n'Roll pieces."

In a few minutes, a reply came. It read "Mine too! And thanks!" with a heart.

"Is that your real name?" I asked her.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" the reply came, in smiley faces.

OK, she won't tell me her name. So what.

"OK then, Maybellene it is. I am Averell Dalton but friends call me Rob. So, Maybellene, will you be my friend?" I asked back. This time the reply took a bit of time.

"Sure Rob, I will be your friend!" came the reply, with hearts and all.

I figured that if she didn't want me to know her name, there was no meaning in me finding anything else about her. At least I had seen her once, I liked her, and she didn't feel comfortable enough to say things about herself directly.

Well, that is why indirect communication exists. And if she needs her time, I can accommodate.

I decided to approach this in an easy manner, just by engaging in conversations through the messenger app, talking about various things. I would try to find about her as much as I could, based on her opinions about various topics. To my pleasant surprise, Maybellene or whoever that was, was very well-versed in a multitude of things, with a very level head, a keen wit, a great sense of humor, but also a sense of fairness and right/wrong that seemed pretty solid, at least based on her comments on various things. I found that we did have a lot in common. I also knew for a fact that she had a very feminine body and had beautifully-shaped eyes, but I didn't know anything else about her. Not her face, not her voice, not her eye color, nothing. Just her voluptuous form and her incredible eyes with that otherworldly color. I suppose contacts, no other way. Not much of a lead, I know. But if that's all I had, that's all I had.

These conversations through the messenger app started to become a daily occurrence. We chatted and chatted. About so many things. And every time she seemed more and more fascinating to me. Still, no name and no face. What the hell.