- Lesbian Sex
- The Death Bed
- Page 2
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Click here'Nina did.'
Claire folded her arms. 'Really, well that's some neat trick, seeing how she's been dead three years.'
'What?'
'Mark's sister, Nina, killed herself in this room three years ago. She took an overdose of sleeping pills. She was found in that bed you're lying on. Mark's kept her room like a shrine ever since and here you are lying naked on her death bed like some drunk tart.'
The next fifteen minutes were a blur to Kaz. Claire helped her dress then after fixing the bedding as best she could, ordered a taxi for them both.
Kaz hardly took in a word Claire was saying as the taxi pulled away from the house, other partygoers were leaving too.
At the last moment before the taxi left the street some instinct made her look out the rear window at the house they'd just been in and she wasn't sure if she saw or imagined a figure in the upper floor window watching as they disappeared into the night.
- COMMENTS
Allegedly_Literateover 2 years agoI'm telling myself no you don't like this type of storytelling but oddly enough I can not tell a lie. I liked it. It gives me the creeps so sure it was unsettling, uncomfortable and a bit frightening to think that this could've happened in real life. Stay sober 🙃
Corpse_riderover 3 years agoAuthorA huge thank you to everyone who read, left comments, and scored my story and for Lexi’s feedback; In fairness regards the notes on the door they were not post-it notes and are not as described as such in the story. The story might have been better posted in the Non-Human or Inter-racial category and perhaps on reflection should have been rather than in Lesbian Fiction, so I apologise to any readers that were disappointed in that respect.
I’ve not forgotten the world pandemic of 2020 (who could?) but chose not to bring that element into the story – certainly, young people in many countries have held house parties with no regard to social distancing as news stories attest to and the party-goers in my story display a flagrant disregard for their own and other’s safety in this respect – perhaps I should have ended the story with a police raid. Have a happy Halloween and stay safe. Corpse_rider
Anonymousover 3 years agoAs it goes the story was not too bad. Chucking in the detail about the sister so late in the game was, I suppose, the only way to maintain the surprise but it did keep me guessing as to who the partner was going to be. Little hints and nuances strongly suggest that the writer is not, and never could be, a lesbian, which makes this more of a male fantasy than lesbian fiction to me.
I hate to say it but the twist was clearly signposted: the submissions name partially giving unsubtle clues, as does the strength of the message written on the post-it note stuck on the bedroom door (seriously? Who trusts a post-it note to give an important message? Two minutes after sticking it up you'd have to pick it up off the floor). But with a name like "The Death Bed" it could either be that unwary users died in their sleep (unlikely) or they were visited by some sort of horny apparition (this being an erotic fiction site).
Plus the author indicates that this is definitely a 2020 story yet forgets the horror that requires social distancing and a mask...
Lexi
