All Comments on 'The Descent Pt. 01'

Decently written but too violent and hatefull for me.

Thank you for writing and posting here.

Escalating too fast .... plotline looks unreal to me .... that many slaps leave marks and make noises ... Otherwise fine.

Love it! Please continue!!

Well, this escalated way too fast. After the first visit Miranda slaps Mia so many times that I lost count. Mia's face would have been so beaten and red that someone would have noticed and asked what happened. Then later Miranda slaps her some 15 times which would have caused a lot of bruising. Then Mia has to lick Miranda's shoes and soles which would have been painful caused by the slapping. Most of the beatings should have taken place at Miranda's home, maybe in the basement where Mia will probably spend most of her time caged. Please tone down the number of beatings and add humiliations. Hopefully the next chapter will have Mia dressed and finding out that she will be naked in Miranda's car. I doubt that Mia will be able to last a year but then again, I doubt that Miranda will keep her word and release Mia after the year is up. By then Mia will be so broken she may not even be aware what date it was anyway.

Great story

I agree with the other commentors. This went way to fast. For Mia to be broken she at first has to believe that is only for a year, Taking her passwords, her financials', her home that quick shows Mia she just needs to run; not summit. You need to slow it down in the next couple of chapters, remind Mia that she has her info if she miss behaves. the licking of feet ,shoes ,ass, and pussy was good for a first chapter. all the face slaps and spitting was over board. Remember Miranda wants to keep her long time so you need to make Mia feel as she is getting turned on by everything. Make her do things in front of Chloe, maybe have her take them to lunch where she gets a salad and the get a fancy meal and she has to pay. or sit bottomless at the restaurant. have her service Chloe, or even tell her she has to obey chloe as if it was her. Take your time and enjoy the ride as the writer.

Pappasleaze

Agree with other commenters. Great setup, but far too fast on the submission. She has to get initial submission making it seem short term and easy to follow. You begin to build up more blackmail material. You get her used to submitting in minor ways, and constantly push her envelope ever so slightly. At some point you push her too far, she rebels, and you present the whole dossier of blackmail material, both the original plus all the new stuff.

Please continue!

Hottest story I've read in a long time. I know others seem to think it escalated too quickly but I think it was perfect. Looking forward to the next part!

Great story, don't listen to them it wasn't fast it was hot and perfect. I'm really looking forward to part 2

Beautifully written. Just wish I was under Miranda's control.

Great story. Please continue

SUCKS

Great story!!! Please continue

Disgusting.

I'm so glad the story is over.

What's with all the slapping!? How is Mia supposed to go about the office after she's been hit 100 times. Her face would be swollen, bruised, with a bloody mouth and broken blood vessels in her cheeks. Stupid