The Detective

"Listen Pete. I know it's not my business but Helen has been talking to Carol and I know for a fact that she's a wreck and is sorry as hell for what she did. Helen thinks she just made a big mistake and regrets it."

"You're right Ed: it's not your business. I have no problem with Helen and Carol talking but that doesn't mean shit to me. Carol's shown me she can lie with the best of them so I can't believe anything she says to me or to Helen. And you should be careful what you hear as well."

Ed had the grace to blush, accepting the criticism, remembering that my pain was still fresh. Wisely, he said nothing more.

I went back to my case and reviewed the reports from the crime scene guys. There was nothing there, but from the uniform canvas, it seems that several persons had seen a man by the name of Willie Jude running away from the apartment right after hearing a loud sound. Seems our Willie had fucked up big time. The tag I took from Sean's pocket at the crime scene had a partial address for a building in the warehouse section of town that could be a clue of some sort. Since it was the only thing we had, Ed and I got an arrest warrant and went looking for our boy. It took us most of the afternoon but we got a tip that he was holed up in a vacant building in the lower part of that same section where the address was. We called for S.W.A.T and went to take him.

After a brief and useless standoff, Willie surrendered, crying his eyes out. We took him back to the station and put him in interview. We tossed a coin and Ed won. He took the interview and had little trouble breaking Willie. Seems he and Sean had a falling out over a scam they were running. Sean had skimmed a few hundred from Willie and Willie found out. When he confronted Sean, Sean wouldn't fork his share over so Willie pulled his piece. They scuffled and the gun went off. Sean was bleeding but still alive and screaming something awful, so Willie got scared and shot him again to shut him up. After taking all the money Sean had in his wallet and helping himself to the fake Rolex and the fake rings, Willie took off and holed up where we found him.

Since Ed took the statement, I took Willie down to booking and processed him in. They took fingerprints, logged his belongings in and took those attractive mug shots. After he was safely locked in holding until morning, I went back up to my desk to finish the paperwork. For a case I thought was going to go into the crapper as unsolved, we had broken it in less than twenty four hours. Not bad! Should look good on our sheet. These nickel and dime murders always had a special feeling when we solved one.

We were able to put Willie in a lineup the next morning and the three eyewitnesses identified him as the man they saw running from Sean's apartment. We had him cold! As I was closing the paperwork file and clearing the crime board, Ed walked out of the freight elevator. Ed had a problem with his weight but he didn't do any more work than he had to. Where I walked, he rode. Where I jogged, he walked. When I got coffee, he had a doughnut. And so on. If the perp took off and ran for his life, Ed was the one that went back to the car and drove around the block to head him off. I was the one that chased him until I was out of breath.

He walked over and sat down in the interview chair next to my desk, crossing his legs and putting both hands behind his head.

"Just wanted to let you know that Mr. Trousdale had himself a very bad day. Seems he had a broken taillight lens and his license plate sticker was illegible. He was ticketed for both. And wouldn't you know, he crossed the street against the light and one of the uniforms saw him. She issued him a jaywalking summons. That's an automatic $50."

I smiled at him and gave him a high five. He grinned back and said, "I give him two days at this rate. He'll be in here looking for you by Friday. What are you gonna say to him?"

"I have no idea yet. What I want is information. I want him to tell me all there is to know about the two of them. I'll get the truth out of him one way or the other. You might have to look the other way when I do."

"You know how bad my eyesight is. I need to see a doctor sometime. Can't see a thing at times." He got up and walked away mumbling to himself about time to make an appointment. I grinned as he disappeared, one hand up waving goodbye over his shoulder.

So all I had to do was talk to Carol and get her side of the story. I had an idea that she was going to lie her head off to me. Call it cop's instinct but I felt she hadn't been honest with me. She was scared and she was trying to hide behind a lie. I had seen it all too often. Now it was time to pretend I was a lawyer and get her on record lying to me.

I left work and remembered that Ed wanted to stop and have a couple of beers so I went over to the bar where we spent our free time and spent the next two hours with my cop friends. I bought the uniforms there a round and my stock with them went up a notch. There was some talk about a shyster lawyer that got himself in some kind of trouble and the street cops had best keep an eye out. I feared that Jeffrey was in for a bad day tomorrow.

I called Carol that evening and made a date to come home on Thursday evening for a talk. She was beside herself, begging me to not wait but to come right away. She brought up the kids again and said they were missing me. I asked her if she told them why I wasn't home and she went hysterical. She begged me not to tell them what she had done. I asked her why I couldn't tell them that I just over reacted to an innocent scene.

She begged and pleaded and it became just too much for me to listen to. I was too tired to continue with this fencing so I just told her to expect me and hung up. She had no idea where I was and I was using the blocking feature on the house phone to make sure she didn't have my number. I wouldn't answer my cell so she gave up on that one.

The following day at the office, Ed sat down and told me the bad news about our murder case. "Dirtbag's pro bono attorney is challenging the confession. Says he talked under duress. Says we intimidated the guy with all that firepower. He claims we threatened to shoot him if he didn't give it up for us. Probably gonna get away with it if the confession's out. We need more."

"Well, hell! What do we have besides the eye witness description? We have anything from the apartment? Prints? DNA?"

"Nah, we got nothing from the apartment, but we got his words telling us where he ditched the gun and we have the slug from the vic. We need to find that gun."

"We need to do it with a routine canvas. We can't use his words as a place to start. Just order the uniforms to begin a routine search of the surrounding area to look for any discards that might connect with the case. Don't mention the gun! You and I will join them."

Willie told us during the confession that he pitched it in a dumpster on the way down to where he parked his car. I knew the area and Ed and I got the uniforms to assist us and began a search. He and I took the dumpsters nearest the scene and took turns diving. One of my favorite sports: dumpster diving!

It was late morning when one of the uni's called to tell us they found a piece. It matched the gun that was used and we had them send it directly to forensics. Made sure the chain of evidence was intact as well. Then, with a warrant firmly in hand, we searched the perp's apartment and found a box of ammo matching the piece, and a notebook detailing the scams they worked together. We took it all back, logged it in and made detailed notes in our books. All we had to do was wait for fingerprints and the ballistics report. Both came in during the afternoon and the prints were from our perp and the slugs matched the one from the vic. We had our case!

Ed and I met with the LT. and he called the DA. We presented the evidence we had, the gun, the prints and the ballistics report, the notebook and all the other stuff, including the eyewitness reports and the lineup results. We had him dead to rights and the DA agreed. Willie was going down for murder one at the least.

In the meantime, my 'support staff' had been making Mr. Trousdale's life miserable again. Seems his registration got lost in the system and the car he was driving had missing plates. Could have been stolen, he was told. When he checked for himself, he was furious that the plates were actually gone. He claimed they were there just the day before but the uniform just shrugged his shoulders and issued a summons for driving without proper registration, suspicion of possession of a stolen car, and resisting arrest. They also confiscated his car and had it towed to the impound yard. Mr. Trousdale was furious but everything in the citation was verified by pictures. No plates, no proof of ownership, and he was on camera with his fist raised, apparently threatening the officer.

That was Thursday and I felt the pressure was getting to him: he was about to explode! I let Ed know that a word to me might get the harassment to stop but that it would be my word against his if he tried to accuse me of having the cops harass him. And if he made that complaint, God only knew how much worse it could get. Ed grinned and said that had already been passed along.

I was off duty now and ready to meet with Carol. I stopped with Ed to have a beer and tell him what I was going to do. He wished me luck and sent me on my way to hear the cock and bull story I expected to get from Carol. I had little doubt she was going to try to snow me with some story about this being a one time thing and that it was just a mistake in judgment on her part. Or that her boss had put the moves on her and she succumbed to his charms. Any kind of bullshit to make me believe she was not guilty of cheating on me.

Just a little about Carol. I met her thirteen years ago at a Christmas party thrown by the District Attorney's office for all the detectives and those of us who worked for the DA's office rather than on the streets. We were the ones that worked closely with the prosecutor's office and most of us were on first name terms with all the attorneys that worked for the city. It was a nice party and I was enjoying myself when I saw her. The redhead with the long legs and the fairly noticeable rack. She grabbed my attention and I couldn't look away. I was single at the time, no girlfriend and no commitments. I hadn't dated much but this girl might change my mind.

She was with another girl, a blond, and they were standing in front of four or five guys who were obviously hitting on them. I knew most of them and that they were all either married or tight with a girlfriend. I watched, making book on who would get lucky when the redhead said something and the guys just sort of melted away. The two laughed at whatever it was. I was still watching her when she looked my way and our eyes met.

That was the start of a short but intense courtship. Carol was a secretary in the DA's office and she worked for the pool. That meant she worked for whoever needed her to pick up the slack on a trial or a hot case. She had paralegal training and she wanted to work full time for a private lawyer or a prestigious law firm. She was well thought of and was well liked. I liked her just fine and it seems she returned the affection.

We dated, found we had everything in common and we began to get very serious. We experimented with sex and found that we were very compatible. She was open about what she liked as was I. We found it easy to meet each other's needs and we found lovemaking to be beyond anything we had ever experienced with others. We were in love and our fates were sealed. I proposed during a Christmas break and she accepted. We were married in a typical June wedding with most of our friends in attendance. Both our families lived in other parts of the country so we found ourselves alone once the wedding was over. We honeymooned in Hawaii like typical couples and spent the first week in bed. We did get out the second week but we still found each other to be more of interest than the Islands.

Once back in the states, I went back to my job as a cop and she found a new job with a firm specializing in Defense. She loved the job and began to work more in her field as a paralegal. We decided to begin our family shortly after I made detective and Julie came along first. Carol stayed home for almost a year with Julie but went back shortly after. Things remained the same until Julie turned two and Jimmy was conceived. Carol repeated the pattern with Jimmy and returned to work a year later. That was seven years ago. During that time, I had never had reason to doubt my wife or our marriage. Carol was a loving wife and a wonderful mother and I loved her as much now as I did when we were married. I had always trusted her to keep our home and our children safe while I was on the job. I did the same when she had to work long hours on a big case. We trusted each other completely.

I pulled into what was once my driveway and went in the side door. I knocked first, then pushed open the door that led into the kitchen. I expected Carol would fix a dinner and I wasn't disappointed. The smells were mouthwatering and I was starved for a real meal rather than the blue plate specials I had been living on for the past two weeks. Carol was there as well, looking very nice. Her red hair was down, just touching her shoulders and shining with that glow that she somehow created. Her face was pale but she had tried to use some blush to give it color. Her lipstick matched her hair and her green eyes, while always one of her best features, were red and puffy. Her appearance gave me a small twinge of satisfaction. Seems I wasn't the only one in pain.

"Pete, you're here. Please, come in. I fixed all your favorites. I assume you've been eating at the diners since you left? I hope you'll at least sit down and eat a decent meal while we talk."

"I could eat, and it sure smells good." I moved to my regular seat and filled my plate. As I shoveled in the good food, I asked, "where are Julie and Jimmy?"

Julie and Jimmy were our two kids. Julie was the oldest at nine and Jimmy was seven. Both were redheads like their mom and Jimmy was broad in the chest and shoulders just like me. Julie took after her mother but she did have my nose. Other than that, she was a beautiful girl and Jimmy was a good looking boy. We had made a good pair of kids, I'll admit to that. And they were good kids! I had to give Carol the credit for that since I wasn't home a lot early on in their raising. I was still a beat cop when we married but I had already qualified for my shield and was working for the DA. It took hours of dedication and hard work but all of a sudden, I had regular hours for the most part and my take home was a lot better. And for the record, I knew they were mine. That comment about doubting was to hurt her like she hurt me.

"The kids are with my mother. She doesn't mind keeping them for a few hours. I told her I would pick them up before bedtime."

"I would have liked to see them. I guess you knew that though didn't you?"

"Yes, Pete. I knew but I wanted to talk to you first. We can go get them together you know. All you have to do is stop with this nonsense and come home once and for all. Just come home Pete. Please!"

"Tell me why you were with Jeff that day, Carol. Tell me why you were alone with him and why you were going up to a room with him, Carol? Tell me that, Carol, and if you have a good reason, one I can actually believe, I'll come home. I'll come home, Carol, if you can give me one reason why you were going up to another man's hotel room."

"It was a stupid mistake Pete! I was not thinking straight and I was being foolish. He had been after me for months and he kept telling me that I would love being with him and that you wouldn't know so it wouldn't hurt anything or anyone. I just gave in, but I never intended to go any further then that. I would have turned around and come home before I could cheat on you. I believe that Pete. I really do and I want you to believe me too. You have to know I would never cheat on you. I love you and I love our family! I would never risk that. Never. I swear Peter. I swear to you, that I have never cheated on you."

I listened, I let her talk and I wanted in the worst way to believe her. But I was a cop: a detective. I listened to people every day tell me lies that sounded like the truth. I listened to beautiful young women who had everything to live for tell me lies about their boyfriends. I heard men who had beautiful families lie about the women they had been with. I picked up hookers and pimps every damned day who lied about anything I asked them. And most were believable. Most were so sincere that you just wanted to believe every word they said. But they were liars! They lied to protect what they had or to deny what they did to avoid punishment. They all had reasons to lie and they did. The stronger the reason, the better the lie.

Carol had every reason to lie. She had me, her marriage, her children and this home we had worked so hard for. She would lie to protect it all. And she seemed sincere. She sounded as if she were telling the truth. And I wanted so much to believe her and keep my marriage, my home and my family intact. I wanted it in the worst way. But, I was a cop: I needed corroboration. I needed it and I would get it before making my decision.

After hours of talking and asking questions and listening to answers that were convincing but contradictory in some cases, I finally told her that I wanted to believe her but that I needed time. Time to put it all together in my head and come to a decision. She pleaded, mentioning the kids again, pulling out all the stops, but I still said I needed time. I finally stood, thanked her for the dinner and walked quickly out of the house and to the car. My heart was breaking and if I had stayed any longer, I would have given in and taken her in my arms. I wanted so much to just hold her and love her and forget that I ever had doubts. I wanted to but I couldn't.

I drove back to my one room in the armpit of the city and cried. I was a tough cop, one who had seen it all and shrugged my shoulders as if to say, "Tough!" But tonight I just sat in the single chair in the room and cried. I loved Carol with all I had in me. I had loved her since the first night I saw her and I died when I saw her with that man in that hotel. I never understood what they meant when they said someone died from a broken heart. I did now! I finally understood what those women felt when they lost a son or a husband or a lover. I understood the man who fell apart when his wife was found dead in an apparent robbery. I understood the grief of a father for his daughter, a husband for his wife. I understood.

It was daylight when I opened crusted eyes to face a new day alone. I looked around my single room and shuddered at the sight. I had to make a decision as soon as possible. I had to find out the truth so I could move on. Living like this was punishment that I didn't deserve. I needed information and if shithead didn't come to me today, I was going to go to him. And if that happened, he was going to be one unhappy asshole!

When I got in, I found two messages from Carol wanting me to call her and one message from shithead, asking me to call him. I tossed all three in the trash can and went over to see what Ed had going. He had come in early to put the final touches on our case against Willie Jude since the DA decided to go forward. We would be called to testify and we needed to be sure all the I's were dotted and the T's crossed. He nodded to me but continued with his work. I decided to grab a cup of coffee while he finished. I brought two back, slid one in front of him and sat down in the side chair next to his desk.