The Devil's Bargain Ch. 06

I picked a date that was convenient for her. Then I promptly told Aarti, who was not happy. That led to an exposition of my dating history, and my somewhat limited romantic experience.

- "You're the one, Aarti. The only one. Holly left for Calgary before you and I even met. I committed to you. We're exclusive. But I won't pretend that Holly wasn't a friend, too. I'll have dinner with her, catch up - and that's it."

She remained unhappy, but she wisely refrained from forbidding me to go, or any nonsense like that.

I met Holly at a very fine restaurant which several of our higher executives had often spoken of. I suspect that she was sending me a reminder that she was no longer ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with me.

- "You look fantastic." I told her. It was only the truth.

- "So do you." she said. "Has someone been taking good care of you?"

- "Yes. But you don't want to hear about that, do you?"

- "Only in one respect." said Holly. "Is... is there a chance that you might come home with me after dinner?" She said it lightly, as if she was only joking, but it was a serious question.

- "I'm sorry, Holly." I said - and I was genuinely sorry. "It's an exclusive relationship."

- "I understand." she said. "That could have been me, couldn't it?"

- "I don't know. I don't think that you were ready for it. Not then."

She smiled, sadly. She was a little lonely, in Calgary. The job ate up most of her hours, but there was enough time left for her to feel lonely, or to wonder what she'd sacrificed in order to achieve her ambitions.

My phone rang. I was surprised. Nobody (since Monica) ever called me at this time of night. I always left it on, though, in case it was Mrs Kovacs calling me from the hospital because Mom had had another fall, or something worse. But I did glance at the number on call display.

Aarti.

- "Hello." I said.

- "Hi. It's me." she said.

- "Is there a problem?"

- "No. I mean... I was... just hoping that you were having a good time."

- "We're just about to order." I said. "Can I call you later?"

- "Oh - yes. Of course."

- "Okay. Talk to you later. Bye."

Holly had the grace not to comment, but I saw the understanding in her eyes.

"Yes, she's very jealous." I admitted.

- "It's understandable. I should have been jealous, too."

- "Let's talk about you. And Calgary." I suggested.

We managed to do just that, and had a good meal in the process. I drank responsibly, because I was driving, and also because I wanted to keep a clear head. It was very nice, in fact, until my phone rang again.

Aarti. I texted her. Emergency?

- Well... no. Just wondering how things were going.

- Fine. Talk to you later.

It wasn't until the coffees (with a creme brulee for Holly) that she became slightly maudlin.

- "I messed up, didn't I? With you, I mean."

- "I wouldn't say that. You were the first relationship I had - of any kind - after my wife died. We had some good times, and yes - I was absolutely smitten with you. But you weren't ready for a full commitment, and I understood that."

- "I've changed, Dan."

- "I believe you. But now isn't the right time for us. You're in Calgary, and I have a serious girlfriend - even if she is a little too jealous."

Holly nodded, and smiled. "I believe you. I was hoping that I could convince you to come home with me, or that you might invite me back to your place. Sometimes, late at night, I think of that couch of yours... but I understand. It's a solid 'not yet' for us, isn't it?"

- "As perceptive as you are beautiful." I said.

We hugged just outside the restaurant, and then went to our separate cars. I drove home in a semi-daze, wondering about what might have been.

My phone buzzed again. I waited until I came to a red light before checking it. Aarti - again.

Hope you're having a good time. Call me when you get home?

That was one text too many. I was gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were white. I forgot where I was, until the driver behind me honked their horn. The light had changed.

I drove home - for a moment, I briefly considered going straight over to Aarti's, and giving her a piece of my mind. I didn't - which was probably a wise decision on my part. I was too angry. I would've just blasted her.

For all of her physical beauty, Aarti had a fragile ego. She needed to be complimented, fawned upon. If I simply yelled and unloaded on her (as I was so tempted to do), I had a feeling that it wouldn't any good. In fact, I might have ended up doing irreparable harm.

But I wasn't ready to talk to her. I turned my phone off. I was too angry to read, or to do anything remotely productive. I went to bed in a foul mood, and didn't sleep.

***

When I checked my phone the next morning, there were three more messages from Aarti. I was still too angry to talk to her, though. I took Freya for her morning walk.

There were two more messages by the time I got back. I put Freya in the car, and went over to Mom's, because we had to make the annual pilgrimage to get her Christmas tree. It had to be fresh, and it had to come from MacLaren's farm - a 45 minute drive out in the country. Connie's Mom was a creature of habit; she and her husband had always gotten their Christmas trees from MacLaren's. Any other option was unthinkable.

She had to closely examine over two dozen trees before settling on the one she wanted. The farm was self-serve: you want it, you cut it. Pay on the way out.

We got back to Mom's place, where I carried her tree in and set it up. I checked my phone, to find that Aarti had left me six new messages. My mood was still foul, so I didn't answer her. By now, it wasn't just to avoid unleashing my anger on her. It gave me a certain grim satisfaction to think that she might be suffering a little too.

Once Mom's tree was placed to her satisfaction, she insisted on feeding me.

- "You deserve a reward for helping me." she said. "But you need to find some Christmas spirit. You weren't the best company, today."

- "Sorry. Lots on my mind."

Freya and I headed home, only to find Aarti's car parked in front of my house.

I let the dog in the front door, and then walked out to meet her. Aarti got out of her car rather nervously. My anger wasn't boiling over any more, but I was still simmering.

- "Go home, Aarti. I'm not ready to talk to you. I'll call you when I am."

- "You didn't answer any of my calls or texts." she said.

- "I was too angry. I'll call you when I've calmed down."

- "When will that be?"

- "I don't know. Maybe tomorrow."

I'm not sure if it was the tone of my voice, or the look in my eyes, but Aarti didn't press the issue. She slowly got back into her car. I turned around and went inside.

Later that evening, my phone rang. It wasn't Aarti.

- "Hi, Dan." said her sister.

- "Hello, Geetha."

- "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I just got off the phone with my semi-hysterical sister. She's well aware that she did something stupid, but she's not very clear on what exactly it was. She told me her version of events - twice - but I can't make much sense of it. Is there any way that you could tell me what happened? Then I could explain it to her."

I smiled for the first time that day. It was pretty hard to stay angry when Geetha was so reasonable. I gave her the short version of my dinner with Holly, and Aarti's repeated interruptions and attempts to check up on me.

- "She didn't trust me. That's what hurts. It's not the first time, either."

Geetha sighed deeply. "I can't excuse Aarti's behaviour, but there is a partial explanation. Have you got a minute, Dan?"

- "Go ahead."

- "I suspect that her experience with break-ups is very different than yours. See, she's always been the one to get dumped. I mean always. No exceptions. She's reasonably picky about starting one, but once she's in it, she convinces herself that this is the one - that it's fore-ordained. Tarot cards, astrology... she wants to have her feelings confirmed. The weird thing is... well, you'd think that by now she'd have learned not to rely on those things. But she keeps doing it. And she keeps getting dumped. One ex-boyfriend said all the right things about wanting to get back together, when all he was really after was another booty call. Then he broke it off again."

- "I know that she's had some bad relationships."

- "Right. But her conclusion is that men are the problem. The cards and the stars don't lie, but men do. And given her experience, she can't see any reason to want to see one of her exes again. So she can't figure out why you would go out with an ex-girlfriend."

- "Unless it was for sex?"

- "That's about the size of it. She kept texting to remind you that she loves you, hoping that you wouldn't go through with it."

- "That's..."

- "Messed up? I know. Believe me, I've tried to get her to stop. For what it's worth, Dru and I think that you're a great guy. I hope this doesn't ruin things for you two."

- "Me too. Thank you, Geetha."

I called Aarti the next day, and went over to see her in the evening. She greeted me with a hug. I'd been thinking about holding her at arm's length - at least at first - but I gave in and let her hold me, with her head against my chest.

- "I'm so sorry..." she said. She was already on the verge of tears.

Perhaps I'm a cold person. Connie said so, more than once. But I had had this conversation with Aarti before. I slowly separated from her, and led her to her own couch.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked.

- "Thank you, no. I'm just here to talk. But you go ahead if you like."

- "You're still angry with me."

- "Yes."

- "I'm sorry, Dan."

- "Aarti - do you remember the episode with the skunk? I was angry then, too. And you were sorry, even if you weren't really sure why."

- "It was... because I didn't believe you." With that, Aarti got it. I could see the lights come on. "You were hurt because I didn't trust you."

- "That's right."

- "And now I've done it again." She looked to be close to tears.

I resisted the urge to take her hand, or to put my arm around her. It wasn't easy; I think that I'm pretty much a sucker for vulnerable women.

- "Do you remember the condition you gave me before you would go out with me? You said that you were jealous, and that we had to be exclusive, or it wasn't going to happen at all. I broke off... a friendship with benefits - because I knew that you meant more."

- "I remember."

- "Then why would you think that I would jeopardize our relationship to have sex with Holly? She lives in Calgary. This is the first time I've seen her since she left."

- "But... you still have strong feelings for her."

- "We parted as friends. I still like her very much. But the romance - the relationship - ended. If we still loved each other that way, then we would have carried on, whatever the distance. But we didn't."

- "I... I don't understand that."

- "I know. Geetha tried to explain it to me. Let me put it this way: I know that love and hate are intense, powerful emotions. Some people can switch from one to the other in a heartbeat. But I think that it's also possible for love to subside, and settle into warm feelings, or affection. That's how I feel about Holly. Does that make sense?"

- "You're different." she said. "Different from anyone I've ever been with. I'll try to understand you better, and not make you angry."

- "Do you trust me, Aarti? That's the question."

- "I... I think I do. I don't want to lose you, Dan."

This time, when she hugged me, my traitorous arm slid around her. Well, I'd said what I wanted to, and I had come over to clear the air before I forgave her.

Yes, it led to some pretty fantastic sex.

Aarti in a mood to please was a force to be reckoned with. She straddled me on the couch, and lifted her shirt so that I could feast on her breasts and erect nipples. Then she slid lower, and took me in her mouth.

She sucked me almost to completion, and then giggled as she strip-hopped on the way to her bedroom. I caught up to her as she was peeling off her last piece of clothing. She landed face down on her bed, with me partly on top of her.

I wasted no time; neither did she. With her assistance, I entered her behind. It began as doggie style, and degenerated into me trying to imprint her shape on the mattress by pounding her into it.

By the end of that night, I believe that I'd acquired some of that Christmas spirit that Mom though I was lacking.

*****