The Devil's Bargain Ch. 16

- "You know why: she needed help. I knew that you would be good for her."

- "Aarti?"

- "Yes. I hoped that you would help her learn to trust, and cut down on her self-destructive habits."

- "I tried."

- "And you succeeded more than you know."

- "Good. Alanna?"

- "Yes. You were supposed to help her re-discover the joys of sex."

- "That didn't work out very well."

- "No." she said. "But that was my fault - not yours."

- "Sue?"

- "Yes. I put it into her head to get a dog, so that she could join your little club. I knew that you would be good for each other. Unfortunately, I had no idea that she would turn out to be like Connie. I'm sorry about that."

- "We had a reasonably good run. Brenda?"

- "She was more of a gift for you."

- "But you did steer her my way?"

- "Yes."

- "Any of the others? Not Lisa, obviously - she was long before your time. Who else? Monica?"

- "Yes. And Holly."

- "Holly?" I was stunned. "But she worked with me for years."

- "Yes, but I had her put in charge of your department only a year or so before we met."

- "Wait? You knew that I would make a bargain with you?"

Tansa smiled. "I am your fairy godmother, Dan."

- "Who did I forget? Oh - Kim?"

- "No. That was all your doing."

I had come to meet Tansa to get the answer to my question. Now I had to come to terms with what I'd learned.

- "You manipulated me. You basically made seven of my nine choices for me - or ten of twelve, if you want to count Andie, Kayla and Lily."

- "I thought that Holly could change. Monica did change. So did Aarti, a little - but only after she'd lost you. You were wonderful for Gabrielle, and Brenda was good for you. I'll admit that Alanna and Sue weren't great choices, but hey: you can't win 'em all."

- "So this is what you do: you play puppet master, and we all dance to your tune."

Tansa put her elbows on the table, and leaned forward.

- "I don't think that Gabrielle or Kayla are complaining - do you? And ask yourself this: I didn't 'steer' Lisa to you - but do you honestly think that you two would ever have gotten together if it weren't for our bargain? Would you be together now?"

I couldn't argue with that.

"That's right." she continued. "I give a little nudge here, a little bump there. I have relatively few disasters on my conscience, and I've done a pretty good job of cleaning up my own messes. I can look myself in the mirror, Dan. And I think that I did reasonably well by you."

She was right, I suppose. I didn't like the thought that I'd been played, but I'd met some lovable women, and had more sex than I could ever have dreamed of. Best of all, Lisa hadn't given up on me. And that was part of my next question.

- "Can I use the phrases on Lisa again?" I was thinking of the 'best sex she's ever had' clause, of course. I didn't want to disappoint my lover.

- "No."

- "Really?"

- "She loves you, Dan. You love her. The sex will take care of itself."

I had to be satisfied with that. But I had another question.

- "What about the 'broken hearts' clause I asked for? It obviously doesn't work."

- "Of course it does." said Tansa. "None of your break-ups involved screaming or broken dishes. Your exes didn't suffer - just as you asked."

- "Except that they still had strong feelings for me. Or strong regrets." I told her about the five-way discussion at Mom's wake.

- "You never asked for either of those things - and if you had, I would never have granted them. You never said 'Make them stop caring for me'. Of course some of them miss you. You're a great guy, and they had phenomenal sex with you. Sue and Aarti had to learn a lesson, and regret was the teacher. You got exactly what you asked for."

I couldn't really argue with that, either.

- "I'm sorry, Tansa."

- "That's alright. I understand where you're coming from. But if you're feeling at all contrite, you could buy me a drink. Gin and tonic, please."

***

I drove for Tansa in January. Matt was absolutely delighted to switch places with me (even if he thought that I'd lost my mind). Terry was the first one to figure out why I'd done it.

- "You found someone special?" he guessed.

- "Re-discovered. And she's more than special."

- "That's good news. Happy for you, man."

I had dinner with Holly in February, when she came back to look for apartments in Windsor. She found time to squeeze in a visit to her family and a date with me. I had already told her, over the phone, that Lisa and I were back together. Now I was able to tell Holly, face to face, that I didn't see a future for us - and this time, I invoked the broken hearts clause.

- "I'm so sorry." she said.

- "It's okay."

- "I really fucked up, didn't I?"

- "No. We were good together, and we had several opportunities to re-connect, over the years. You're one of my best friends, Holly."

- "Thanks. But I know that I could have been even more than that. I just ... ah, never mind. I know what I did - and what I should've done. Is it okay to say that I'm happy for you and Lisa?"

- "Yes. I'll tell her."

- "Could you also tell her that I appreciate what she did? She stepped aside so that I could have a shot at you again. She's pretty amazing."

- "I know. But I'll tell her that too."

***

I'd never been to Vancouver Island - but then the list of places I haven't been to is rather long. I'd really only started paying attention to news from British Columbia once Lisa announced that she was going to attend the University of Victoria. It's a small city - still just around 90,000 people - but there's a lot of history, and plenty of charm.

She took me to the Inner Harbour, the provincial legislature, and the Empress Hotel. Then we had a long walk through Chinatown.

- "The oldest Chinatown in Canada." she told me.

That was just a bonus. The real reason I was there was to visit Lisa. I was curious, and (I'll admit) a little nervous about seeing her in her working environment - not to mention meeting some of her friends and colleagues.

She shared an apartment with another grad student named Julie, and Julie's girlfriend Deanna. Lisa surprised me a little by introducing me as 'my partner, Dan'.

- "So pleased to meet you." said Julie, a lovely Korean girl.

- "The legend himself!" said Deanna, a redhead who sported an amazing number of tattoos. She was a waitress in town.

- "I may have talked about you a bit." said Lisa.

Julie just laughed at her. "A bit? That's like saying that War and Peace is a bit of a story."

- "Thank you. I guess." What was I supposed to say, to that?

- "Don't worry." said Julie. "She really only told us two. But you did set the bar pretty high, you know? Deanna keeps expecting me to live up to the standards you set."

- "Like you don't do the same thing to me." said her girlfriend. "All the time."

We had dinner with half a dozen of Lisa's friends, including Julie (Deanna was working that night). They were mostly grad students, but there was also a wanna-be musician who worked at a distillery, and an athletic-looking guy who owned his own bike shop. Lisa once again introduced me as her partner. The girls (and one of the guys) congratulated her - and then me. The males looked ... disappointed. Or maybe it was disbelief.

Lisa's roommate Julie tapped me on the arm, and nodded towards the bar.

- "C'mon." she said. I glance at Lisa. She'd seen that exchange with Julie.

- "Go ahead." she said. "They have some really fine scotches."

I don't actually like Scotch. Lisa knew that. She winked at me. Okay, I got the point. I followed Julie.

- "Single malt, or blended?" asked the Korean girl.

- "Umm ... I'd prefer just a beer, if that's okay."

- "Wanna try a local craft brewery?"

- "As long as it's not too hoppy." I said.

- "I agree." said Julie. "Cautiously adventurous."

- "She told you about that?"

Julie just grinned at me. "She told me some things. I have to say, she made you sound pretty awesome - and I'm not into guys. But I thought you might want to know about Albert, Tim, and Len."

Those were the three male friends at our table.

"They all had a crush on Lisa, at one time or another. Tim still does; he keeps asking her to ditch her studies and run away with him to Tofino."             

- "Isn't that ...?"

- "Four hours drive from here. Four and a half."

- "Hmm." Something about the way Julie was talking made me wonder. "Tim's not the only one, is he?"

- "Heck, no. Have you looked at her, recently? She's stunning. And lovable, too. I love that girl. I mean, don't tell Deanna I said that, but ... c'mon. Albert wrote a song about her. Two of our professors embarrassed themselves by hitting on her. But she just looks at men with this expression on her face, like 'I've seen better'."

I had to smile. "She told you that?"

- "Seriously? I saw her with Paul. Even my girlfriend thought that he was hot. Lisa was interested for maybe three or four months. After that, she was just going through the motions. I know - because I asked her what the heck she was doing. That's when she told me all about you. Dan - that girl is seriously crazy about you."

The beer was actually very good.

- "Thanks, Julie. For suggesting this beer. And ... for telling me about this. Lisa is a beautiful woman. She's going to attract a lot of attention. I ... I just have to get used to that."

- "See?' said Julie. "That's what I thought - you're like some kind of Yoda. Patient, and understanding. All wise and shit."

I had to laugh. "Lisa is much wiser than I am."

- "Humble, too."

At that moment, Lisa joined us at the bar. She put her arm around me. I kissed her, then, right in front of Julie. Not a simple peck on the lips, either, but a full tongue, I love you and I want your soul kiss.

- "Oh, no." said Julie. "I can see where this is going. You know that our rooms aren't sound-proof, right?"

Lisa smiled at her. "Payback's a bitch, JulieBear."

They had to bring me into the loop. 'JulieBear' was apparently the pet-name that Deanna would shout or scream when she was ... in the throes of passion.

- "Uh-oh." said Julie. "Should I go spend the night with a friend?"

- "So that Deanna wonders where you are when she gets home?" said Lisa.

- "Yeah, I know."

- "Ear buds. Headphones. Listen to music."

- "Is that what you do?"

- "All the time, JulieBear."

We went back to the table, and enjoyed a reasonably good meal. I could tell, though, that Lisa was in a hurry to get home. We said goodbye to her friends, and took a cab. Julie rolled her eyes as Lisa practically dragged me into her room. Once there, though, she slowed down. She sat me on her bed, and then knelt at my feet.

- "Can I ask you a favour, Dan?"

- "Of course."

- "Can you be really loud? I'm going to fuck your brains out now, but I'd appreciate if you could be really vocal about it."

I remembered when Lisa had wanted to get loud in the house I shared with Connie's Mom - who was quite deaf.

- "Is this for Julie's benefit?"

- "And mine ..." she said.

***

Lisa got her degree at the end of March. She celebrated with her friends, packed up her books, and moved home - to my apartment.

- "We'll need a bigger place." I said. "For all of your books. Can't pile them on the floor anymore."

- "You remember that?" She smiled.

- "Very fondly."

- "Okay. I like that idea."

- "Our place, rather than you moving into my place. Besides, I haven't developed strong feelings for this one. Maybe we could find something by the park."

- "Or down by the canal?"

Lisa had to make quite a few appearances at the University. She wasn't due to start teaching until the summer session, but there were colleagues to meet, and her own research and writing to pursue. She was incredibly organized and super-disciplined.

- "Still," she warned me, "there will be nights when I get home late. I'm going to do my best to make them as few and far between as possible."

- "I know."

- "Because I love you. I don't want you to ever doubt it."

I choked up a little. But I still managed to say: "Especially just before it comes time to renew our contract. Our bargain."

To my great relief, Lisa really enjoyed hanging out with Brenda and Pete. I'd been worried that my girl was too intelligent, too intellectual. Lisa disabused me of that notion right away.

- "You think I need smart people? Dan, Pete is a sweetheart. He's the guy you call when you need a favour, and he doesn't ask why - he just shows up - with the correct tools. And I know that you went out with Brenda. That just means that we both know how wonderful she is. I love her to death."

We also spent a good bit of time with Lisa's parents. They'd missed her.

- "And we missed you, too, Dan." said Anna. "I'm glad that we're going to see more of you."

Lisa met quite a few people at the University. She told me about them, and then divided them into categories so that I would understand. People who were important to her career. People she liked. People that she thought I might like.

- "Should you really be doing that?" I asked. "Pigeon-holing people?"

- "No. Obviously not. But the first group are people that I don't want to spend much time with. If you meet them on your own, and decide that they're wonderful, I'll reconsider. The other two groups are people that I think might become friends of ours - but only if we both agree."

We had sex every day. She was never too tired, or too busy. Lisa was inventive (almost like Sue at her best), but mostly she was just glad to see me when she came home.

One evening, she came home around 7:30. I'd gotten home earlier, and started putting a meal together. Lisa was appreciative.

- "You're an angel." she said.

- "I think you have the roles reversed."

- "Nuh-uh."

Another night, she didn't get home until 8:30. She'd used her faculty pass to work out at the University facilities. They had everything: weight room, track, pool ... you name it. Lisa came through the door, and apologized.

- "I'm sorry, sweetheart." she said. "I really wanted to squeeze in a workout."

- "Not a problem." Lisa had called me twice (before leaving work, and from the gym). "Should I warm your dinner? Or would you like a glass of wine?"

- "Actually, I just want to change, first."

- "Can I watch?"

Lisa grinned at me.

- "I'd like that."

***

We couldn't agree on whether we had committed to a one-year contract, or a two-year deal. We weren't entirely sure when our agreement had begun, either.

- "New Year's Eve." she said.

- "I'm pretty sure that it was the 29th." I said. "But I won't quibble about two days."

- "Do we renew?" asked Lisa. "I think that you want to. But ... one year - or two?"

- "Definitely two."

***

We're on our fourth straight extended contract. I've considered the advantages of a longer-term deal, but Lisa hasn't pushed me.

I phone Tansa once a year, in mid-December, to wish her a happy holiday season.

Lisa still sleeps with her mouth open.

*****

THE END