The Devil's in the Detail

My parents-in-law arrived around midday, bringing Jenny and Emma with them. We heard their car arrive and went out to meet them, as the weather was so mild. Little Emma excitedly thrust her new doll at me. "Look, look, Uncle Nick!" Emma's joy was infectious and everyone was smiling happily.

I had opened a bottle of champagne, but there was more demand for soft drinks. Only my mother-in-law, Mary, and I were on the bubbly. Tommy, my father-in-law, is fond of a glass of wine or three, but he had to drive.

Lunch went well and we finished off with slices of a lovely home-made cheesecake that Jenny had brought. Hazel was looking forward to breaking the good news and I could see that she could hardly contain herself. There was a lull in the conversation and I tapped my glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention, then I nodded to Hazel.

"We have some wonderful news!" said Hazel, "I'm pregnant!"

Hazel's mum and dad started in with congratulations, but Jenny looked distraught. Her chair crashed to the floor as she jumped up and ran from the room, obviously heading upstairs towards the bedrooms.

"I better go and find out what's wrong with her," said Hazel.

"I'll come with you," said Mary.

Tommy and I were left to look after young Emma, who had long since left the adults chatting at the table and was playing with her doll in the lounge. I went into the kitchen to make coffee, while Tommy went through to join Emma in the lounge.

I took Tommy a cup of coffee and we chatted about how life would change after the baby was born and there were the usual jokes about getting plenty of sleep now, because there's no chance later. The womenfolk had been gone quite a while, but Tommy and I were happy to talk football in their absence and the time passed pleasantly.

The three of them eventually reappeared half an hour later, looking quite subdued. Nothing much was said, so Tommy and I took our cue from the ladies and we didn't ask what the problem had been. The mood had obviously changed, but there was some chat about Hazel's due date, which was in early July and whether we had thought about names. No one really wanted to prolong that particular conversation, as I think Tommy and Mary knew their names were unlikely to feature.

Once our guests had departed I asked Hazel what had got into Jenny and she said she thought Jenny was just a bit upset that she didn't have a husband or partner. After she calmed down Jenny had told Hazel she thought it was wonderful news that we were going to have a baby, but she had felt sorry for herself and sad for Emma that her father was no longer around. Evidently Mary had a long chat with Jenny about how nothing remained the same forever and how things might change for the better. Her pep talk about the New Year bringing new opportunities seemed to have helped.

*

January dragged on forever, with cold winds, rain and some snow making life particularly unpleasant at times. I had to travel to London every week to sort out issues to do with our shipping contracts and I was away for days at a time, but eventually we got to the end of the month. Hazel had been out of sorts all month, irritable and annoyed at the slightest thing. Who knows what was happening with her hormones. It didn't help that she seemed to be at the beck and call of her sister, who had been off work ill for a while. Anyway, I decided to take Hazel out to dinner on Valentine's Day. She was no longer suffering from occasional bouts of nausea, her pregnancy wasn't showing much and I thought it would cheer her up. She was a lot less irritable and seemed pleased that I had made a booking at one of our favourite restaurants for Valentine's Day.

February 14th is a big deal and I never forget the flowers, chocolates and card. If the 14th is a working day I usually get the flowers and chocolates delivered. This year it was a Saturday, so I took plenty of time to make gentle love to my wife that morning, slipping into her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she spooned into me and I nuzzled her neck. Afterwards I wandered downstairs to retrieve the flowers, chocolates and card from where I had left them in the garage. The postman had been and I picked up the post from behind the front door. In amongst the usual bills and junk mail there was a large red envelope addressed to me. It looked like Hazel's writing, so I thought I'd open it before I went back upstairs.

Inside the envelope was a beautiful pure white card with a picture of a red rose on the front and the inscription "To my Valentine". Opening the card, I read a neat, hand-written verse: "Roses are red; I've been so blue; You love one another; And I love you too." A large heart and three Xs had been drawn below the verse.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the card in my hand. It didn't take a genius to work out that it was my my sister-in-law who had sent me a Valentine card. She'd taken a heck of a chance, as I was sure Hazel would have recognised the handwriting. Why would Jenny take that chance? Was she mad? I couldn't understand it, but thankfully I had found the card first, so I quickly put it away in my briefcase in the hall cupboard.

I took Hazel a glass of fresh orange juice, together with the flowers, chocolates and my Valentine's card for her.

"You spoil me sometimes," she said, with a smile, handing me another large red envelope.

"You deserve it," I replied.

"Yes, I probably do," she said.

I opened the envelope and found an identical card with a picture of a red rose on the front and the inscription "To my Valentine". What a strange coincidence! Inside there was also a handwritten verse: "Roses are red; I'm over being blue; We love one another; And not just we two."

Hazel was looking at me, as I read the card, waiting for my reaction. I smiled down at her as she lay there in bed. "That's lovely," I said. "I'm still trying to get my head round the idea that there are going to be more than just the two of us."

"Oh, I think you'll get the idea soon enough," she replied.

*

We got a taxi into town that evening, as neither of us felt like driving and Hazel said she would make an exception to her no alcohol policy and have a small glass of fizz at some stage.

Scarlatti's is a wonderful Italian restaurant, with fawning waiters, swift and efficient service and food to make your taste buds tingle. We dropped our coats off at the cloakroom and the maitre d' greeted us warmly. We declined his suggestion of having an aperitivo at the bar and he showed us directly to our table.

It was after I had sat down that I noticed the table was set with three places. When our waiter appeared I started to explain that there had been a mistake and there were only two of us, but Hazel quickly interrupted me. "Actually, there will be three of us," she said. "I invited Jenny." Looking over my shoulder, she added, "Here she is now."

I had no idea what was going on and Hazel must have seen the confusion on my face. "Don't worry, Nick. I changed our reservation, so we could all have a nice evening out together. Don't just sit there. Get up and say hello." I stood up and turned to find Jenny standing there, dressed in her little black dress and smiling uncertainly. We kissed hello and the maitre d' attentively held her chair for her until she sat down.

Hazel gave me a cool look, which sent a shiver down my spine. "Jenny has some news," she said.

"I'm pregnant too," said Jenny.

"Congratulations, Nick," said Hazel. "I think we better have a drink and then we need to talk."

*

As I sat there, completely stunned, our waiter brought us a bottle of Scarlatti's finest Prosecco and we waited while he filled our glasses. It occurred to me that the two identical Valentine's cards had not been a coincidence after all. I had been ambushed.

The dinner conversation was unusual and enlightening. It turned out that Jenny had suspected she might be pregnant at Christmas. The news of Hazel's pregnancy had come as a huge shock to her. She had been starting to think that if she was pregnant with my child she might have a chance of competing with her sister for my affections. Early in January, when Jenny knew for certain that she was expecting, she confessed all to Hazel, which was why Hazel had been so annoyed with me for a while. However Hazel had confirmed my story about the lost mobile phone and the two sisters had come to accept my version of events and then tried to reach some decisions about what to do next. All of this was going on behind my back, as I shuttled back and forth to London.

Understandably, Hazel was still vexed that I had not immediately told her what had happened at Halloween, but she said she realised that I had been caught between a rock and a hard place.

Meantime, the two sisters had done some hard talking and the deal they had reached seemed logical, if somewhat unconventional. Hazel pointed out that both of the unborn babies were my responsibility, so Jenny and Emma were going to move in with Hazel and me for at least the next year or so. Our house had four bedrooms, so there was space enough for everyone and the sisters would be able to support each other and take care of Emma.

However Hazel made it clear over dinner that although we would all be under the same roof, there would be no "ménage à trois". The love and support we could provide one another as a family would not include sex between in-laws. Part of the deal was that I was off limits to Jenny and she was off limits to me. The Valentine's Day cards were simply to tease me and give me something to think about before our heart-to-heart discussion over dinner.

After dinner we dropped Jenny off at her place and she hurried in to settle up with her young neighbour for babysitting. In the back of the taxi on the way home, I asked Hazel the question that had been preying on my mind.

"Do you actually think this is going to work out?"

"I really do hope so," said Hazel. "I think you simply swept her off her feet and she was infatuated with you, but if she has to live in the same house for a year, the attraction will probably wear off. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. We'll just have to make the best of a difficult situation and no doubt the devil will be in the detail."

Then she turned and gave me a piercing look.

"But make no mistake, Nick, if you put your cock in my sister again, there will be hell to pay."