All Comments on 'The Divine Gambit Ch. 11'

For someone of college age he behaves like a 15 year old emo kid. Time to grow up and accept life. It will be what it will be. Not what you want it to be. Time to accept your responsibilities like a dragon and stop running.

I really like the premise of the story and would like to see this universe fleshed out a bit more. I am a little annoyed with the MC James. You find out that the super natural world is real and you are at the top of that food chain... How do you not get with the program pretty fast? You find out that your childhood dream girl only kept her distance for your safety and you have always been the measuring stick with which she measures other men, now you can have her and your current squeeze that you have only known for a week is on board????? What is the hesitation? why the awe shucks routine? I am not saying he should be a dick and just take everything for granted but come on... be the man/dragon and lets go.

Let me guess... the entire next chapter will be James yet again beating himself up about "enslaving women against their will". I really loved the starting few chapters of this story, but since then it has become one long diatribe of James crying, "Oh boo hoo. I'm such a terrible person! No one should love me! I disgust myself! I'm doing things to people against their will".

Also of note: When Sam mentioned that she had an orgasm while in her own bedroom from James and Beth having sex, the first thing that should have crossed his mind is, "Oh shit! If having sex with Beth gave Sam an orgasm from a different room, I wonder if the same has been happening to Evgenia and Catherine?"

I would love it if you would concentrate more on the main plot points (what's going on with security people vanishing? etc) and less on writing overly-long descriptions of what's going on with the women in his life. Between what's said at the end of this chapter regarding Evgenia, and what was said in the previous chapter about Zoey not believing a word out of his mouth, I'm worried that the majority of the next several chapters will simply be more of James' personal angst regarding those two characters.

Have to agree with the comments below..I sincerely hope the Mea Culpa phase is ending soon, it's gotten really old and it's not a good foundation for a full story arc.

I was very confused. He really should not have been this upset about his contract with Evgenia, if it is this reprehensible to him he should not have accepted it in the first place. They you have written it makes him seem incredibly dumb and unlikable. Still looking forward to more.

Really love your story

Thank you so much for allowing us to enjoy your creativity !!

wonderfully powerful imagination

Great Story, just don't go to the Moon and I'm totally invested.

A nice lovey-dovey chapter till the end. Now I want to know what his next fuck up is looking like. Can't wait for the next chapter.

This constant whining, woe is me, and I'm a terrible person is seriously overdone in this story. You've, quite frankly, created the perfect pussy. Life is hard and has its ups and downs. It's what makes life, life. Constantly looking back and fearing your actions is not a way to live. This is probably the point where I drop off as frankly, the writing is grating.

You sure James inst catholic? He’s got enough guilt for whole church.

Another great chapter in a great story, except James' ongoing self-doubt drops this to 3-stars.

I love this story, but... The way you described the sex scene, especially the words you used are very disturbing.

"The unsettling moans and groans she expelled sounded much more like she was in pain or distress than that she was overcome with pleasure."

"A ghastly, horrible, alarming sound grew out of her lungs as she wrapped her legs around my head and writhed in beautiful agony on the bed."

If your trying to draw the reader in, using words like unsettling and ghastly, especially when a mans head is between a womans legs, is not the way to go, definitely not a turn on. I had a couple of wtf moments there, I hope the man pleasuring me like that didn't have those same thoughts.

Overall I do enjoy the series so far, but make the sex scenes more pleasurable, draw the reader in to were their getting turned on with the scene instead of making them cringe at the words.

Lol .

He's such a bitch

Most of the anonymous comments are accurate. The sex scene was poorly described, and James is turning into a flagellant. Either give him a spine or a cat-o-nine-tails. This becoming painful to read.

After rereading this, it has reinforced my view that this is some sort of Dostoyevsky-Catholic-guilt-fest mash-up with a hint of a good storyline. I’m wondering if some long buried angst from the author is appearing in the writing.

Barry, all stories are authors working something out.

It's what makes many children's books so sad.

At least I can kind of get discovering your going down the path of slave owner to make you check yourself.

He's in over his head. I get it. Completely makes sense for him to be anxious so often.