All Comments on 'The Divine Gambit Ch. 12'

A great chapter! Although I did not really like his fear of the "cosmic balance".

Great story!! Read all chapters this past week and I'm hooked, thank you for writing this.

I do like you approach with the story :) endless possibilities ahead, I'm curious what you'll do with it !

I have said it once and will say it again, wonderful imagination plus a great understanding of the "human condition".

Good Stuff.

Absolutely love your imagination, and the internal and external conflicts. Thank you

Nice. But he still needs to stop jumping to conclusions and ask for information about things before he fires people or otherwise fucks you situations. He was a college student adult. I knew that by high school.

What you've done with this already is unique . I read earlier references to TSM . I want to remind folks that CUM altering abilities is much older than TSM . As is multiple partners . James has hard conservative values . This has only been a week . He'll come around .

This was a very tedious chapter. The page or more of questions to the elf could have been “answered” in different ways, through experience or action. This was a very long winded and passive way for you as a writer to world-build.

first things to do: ask your inner dragon about own protection an protection of Sam. Second: why not pick up his personal things and finish his software studies for an degree? So he would be free to choose in long-terms if he want to earn money regulary or by contributing magical deals (as far by now, there seems not to be that accomoding deals presented). And yes, the typical female arrogance is distressing. They resent him, left his life whithout any explanation - and then accuse +offend him. Bitches. He should got more backbone

Rereading this, I stand by my previous comment. The world building conversation with Antonin could have been done differently, over the course of the series — the characters learning of their new abilities during an action scene, when pressed/under stress, etc. The story reads as a daily life soap opera set in a low-modern fantasy.

Very strong recommendation to read WriterAnnabelle’s series, to see how to reveal things over time.