All Comments on 'The Divine Gambit Ch. 17'

As always. Cant wait to read the next.

Dude, try cutting out the verbosity a bit. And making your protagonist dwell on something and going about it ad nauseum makes everything a bit tedious. And writing a day to day account of everything sure makes it a drag. You have a good premise, very interesting characters, and an enthralling plot. Now you just need a bit of pace, and less of long tirades on moral conundrums from James when all the other girls are on the same page as him. And please don't repeat same things over and over, like the apology expected from Ziet which you have mentioned at least five times in their conversations.

Looking forward to a tighter plotline and a less sedate pace.

You are a good writer and from your writing a good person as well. Now you need to become a great storyteller as well.

That's Zoey not Ziet in last comment. Autocorrect at it's finest

Don't listen to any of that below . Anonymous doesn't even have a name . This is a GR8 story , a GR8 pace . Well done . Keep it up .

Excellent. Having binged on all 16 parts so far, I can’t wait for more. Great work!

Don’t listen to pk2curious; sycophant praise does not help growth or change. The Anonymous comment is critical, yet constructive; they also include praise. Read through the series twice. Many commenters/readers seem to want the pace to increase, to a level similar to WriterAnnabelle’s works (Home for Horny Monsters) or NovusAnimus (My Little Ventrue). It would be great to see James’ abilities be tested, to see what sort of barriers (even anti-magic??) Beth has, etc. But 17 chapters in, readers have only read about James and Sam blasting some targets underground.

Maybe you’ve been angling a melodrama or romance set in a fantasy world, where the fantasy itself takes a backseat, but that makes the world building that you’re doing irrelevant.

Yum, brownies!

I liked the peaceful, chill tea day.