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"Well, we're definitely not naturally culinaromancers," she responded, her eyes shifting around guiltily.
"But?" I asked.
"But, with James' magic being a cheat code for life and letting me be proficient at everything, I might have tried some stuff on these. I kind of wanted to help you cook for Mom when she gets back. I miss having her around. I only really noticed now that she's gone, but, if we're getting second chances here, I'd like one with my mom. Not to sound ungrateful about getting real magic or finding out I could be with the man I loved or that he's actually super powerful and yet for some reason still wants me to be around, but..."
Beth interrupted her, "Sam, sweetie, we get it. Having your mom as a mom is great. Especially if it means you get to take her recipes and make them magical."
I nodded, "I think that's a fine goal, Sam."
She nibbled on a brownie herself and then said, "Oh, fuck. That is really good. Damn. I was hoping you guys were just being supportive."
I furrowed my brow in confusion over her words, asking, "Why would that be a bad thing, Sam?"
She sighed, "Because now I have to cook everything, too. Or at least help. Otherwise, I will be innately disappointed with everything I eat, you know? Just knowing that there was another level of deliciousness possible if I simply helped out will ruin everything I eat from now on."
Beth and I giggled as Sam glumly ate her delicious desserts. When we finished, she put the tray back in the kitchen, returning to join us for bed.
In the darkness, she whispered to me, "I don't want to judge Beth for what she wants, and to be honest, I'm not sure you went far enough for her, but I don't want what you did tonight."
I pulled her tightly against me and whispered, "That's perfect, Sam. You took a chance, tried something, and decided you didn't like it. What you want is something I want, too. We'll figure out exactly what we want together, just as Beth and I are going to find exactly what the two of us want."
As she relaxed beside me, mirroring Beth in snuggling against my shoulder, she capped off my night by whispering, "God, James, I love you so much."
- COMMENTS
BarryAllen888about 1 month agoDon’t listen to pk2curious; sycophant praise does not help growth or change. The Anonymous comment is critical, yet constructive; they also include praise. Read through the series twice. Many commenters/readers seem to want the pace to increase, to a level similar to WriterAnnabelle’s works (Home for Horny Monsters) or NovusAnimus (My Little Ventrue). It would be great to see James’ abilities be tested, to see what sort of barriers (even anti-magic??) Beth has, etc. But 17 chapters in, readers have only read about James and Sam blasting some targets underground.
Maybe you’ve been angling a melodrama or romance set in a fantasy world, where the fantasy itself takes a backseat, but that makes the world building that you’re doing irrelevant.
RK52about 1 month agoExcellent. Having binged on all 16 parts so far, I can’t wait for more. Great work!
pk2curiousabout 2 months agoDon't listen to any of that below . Anonymous doesn't even have a name . This is a GR8 story , a GR8 pace . Well done . Keep it up .
Anonymous2 months agoDude, try cutting out the verbosity a bit. And making your protagonist dwell on something and going about it ad nauseum makes everything a bit tedious. And writing a day to day account of everything sure makes it a drag. You have a good premise, very interesting characters, and an enthralling plot. Now you just need a bit of pace, and less of long tirades on moral conundrums from James when all the other girls are on the same page as him. And please don't repeat same things over and over, like the apology expected from Ziet which you have mentioned at least five times in their conversations.
Looking forward to a tighter plotline and a less sedate pace.
You are a good writer and from your writing a good person as well. Now you need to become a great storyteller as well.
