The Douche Valve Kit

"Mr. Curtain, I hope that you didn't misunderstand me; I don't expect you to just drop everything. I would be willing to pay you a handsome sum if we could reach an agreement?"

"How handsome a sum, Mrs. Foster?"

"Why I would gladly pay you $100,000," she smiled.

"I would only be interested in compensation that matched how elegant and sultry that you are, Mrs. Foster."

"You consider me elegant and sultry," she smiled -- it was a diabolical facial ripple.

"Why Mrs. Foster, you certainly have looked into a mirror, and the eyes of males around you, haven't you?"

She smiled even more diabolically.

"How much would a sum be that matched my elegance and sultriness, Mr. Curtain?"

"Well, it would be a billion dollars -- but obviously that is not a realistic figure. I would say a realistic figure that still paid homage to your feminine features would be one million dollars."

The diabolical smile never left her face. She paused for a while and then said "I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

"Please be flattered rather than insulted," I replied. Before she could speak again I continued. "May I be completely honest with you Mrs. Foster?"

After another delay she replied "Please do."

"After seeing you tonight, and discussing this matter, there is only one thing that I truly want, and my suit will be dismissed, I will insure that Winston is not on the birth certificate, and there will be no public disclosure of any aspect of the situation from me, ever."

"What's that Mr. Curtain?" she asked, again with that diabolical smile.

"To salve my bruised, if not dead, ego, I would like to spend a week with you on a tropical island."

I couldn't fucking believe that I just said that. As soon as I did I wanted to take it back, but it was obviously too late for that. The only thing to do now was to double down -- with a 99% chance of being scorched and a 1% chance of achieving bliss (or so it would seem from Vivian's body).

I was sure that in the courtroom Vivian is a stone cold killer -- but I think that I took her back a little bit. After another delay she said "May I have some more Drambuie please?"

"Certainly," I replied, getting up, taking her glass from her hand while making sure to stroke her fingers, and then returning the full glass to her.

"Are you teasing me Mr. Curtain?"

"Absolutely not; Mrs. Foster you must know that you are a stone cold fox. While many men may despise you because you are also a calculated killer -- in a good way," I laughed, "any hetero sexual man would consider a liaison with you the highlight of his life. I know that such a liaison would not only heal my bruised ego but elevate it to new heights."

"Apparently you think me a whore Mr. Curtain."

"That's absolutely incorrect if you're talking from the sexual standpoint. While you may take cases you don't believe in for money so that in the legal arena you are a whore, there is nothing about your history, demeanor, appearance, or anything else that would cause me to believe that you are a whore in the sexual arena. However, you are a devoted mother who very much wants to get her son out of a bad situation and save the reputation of your entire family; which is the only reason that I was bold enough to make you the proposal that I did."

"Don't you think that my husband might be upset?" she asked but with a twinkle in her eye. "And wouldn't you be doing the same thing to my husband that your wife did to you?"

"First of all Mrs. Foster, you and your husband do not live happy romantic lives together -- at this stage yours is only a marriage of convenience, unlike mine which I thought was based upon love, romance, and faithfulness. That's why the situations are totally different."

After another really long pause, where I made no attempt not to stare between her legs as she crossed and re-crossed them, she replied "I can't believe that you think that you can blackmail someone as sophisticated and legally astute as I am."

"Blackmailing you is the furthest thing from my mind because in addition to knowing that you are elegant and sultry I know that you are sophisticated and legally astute. I merely provided two options for you to achieve your goal -- a one million dollar payment, or a week with me on a tropical island."

"Where no doubt you would expect me to perform sexual favors," she snickered, to which I quickly replied "Only a third of the sexual favors -- and physical devotion of all types -- that I would bestow upon you."

She looked at me funny and then asked "Are you a discrete person Mr. Curtain?"

"The most discrete man you have ever met in your life, Mrs. Foster," I replied.

"Do you consider me an honorable woman Mr. Curtain?"

"I certainly do. I know that you're tough but you are a woman of your word, and when you give it someone can bet their life -- or at least happiness," I continued with a grin, "on it."

"Then let me be as bold and frank with you as you have been with me, Mr. Curtain. Let's go to your bed and have an hour of intercourse right now. If you please me then I will accept your offer of a week on a tropical island together. If you don't please me then you accept $100,000 to settle all matters between us as previously discussed."

"That's the best offer I have ever had in my life, Mrs. Foster," I said with a face-wide grin as I stood up and held out my hand to her.

***********

Some readers probably expect me to now gush about how the sex with Vivian was by far the best of my life; however, that wasn't the case. Don't get me wrong, it was very good sex but I wasn't really out to get maximum enjoyment. What I was out for was to give her the best experience I possibly could, hoping that it would make her agree to my proposal of a week together on a tropical island.

I started out my quest to give maximum pleasure by slowly undressing her and complimenting every aspect of her sultry body. Then I gave her a shocker -- two in the pink, one in the stink -- and then immediately started giving her the best oral I possibly could while stroking her muscular thighs.

Unless she was a great thespian, she had one large, and one mammoth, orgasm from my oral ministrations.

When she came down from her second orally-induced orgasm I grabbed a bottle of lotion on the closest nightstand, lubricated the valley between her prominent tits, and my cock, and fucked her tits with alacrity. I was pleased that she was one of those women who came from titty fucking.

I got a warm washcloth and wiped my cum off of her chest and chin, and then told her that I was giving her a massage. She didn't protest at all, but rolled onto her front. I'm actually a skilled amateur masseuse, and what I lack in talent and knowledge I make up for in intensity and desire to please. After a half hour she was literally purring.

While she was still laying on her front -- now essentially in the concubine position -- I fucked her pussy with even more alacrity than I had her tits, with my thumb up her ass. She came like a bull charging a matador and was essentially a happy blob of protoplasm by the time that I extracted my still hard cock out of her pussy.

I immediately covered us up, and we fell asleep.

I awoke sometime in the middle of the night (probably 3:30 or 4:00 a. m.) -- and at first was a little disoriented and wondering how Haley had become taller and grew bigger tits -- before I remembered the circumstances. My cock quickly thickened and lengthened again and still in the spoon position my cock became a heat-seeking instrument with a mind of its own as it sought out her warm, moist pussy. My cock penetrated her pussy, and soon Vivian was cognizant, if not completely awake.

This time, unlike my vigorous fuck while she was in the concubine position, my strokes were slow and methodical. Vivian moaned with each push in and pull partially out. Eventually we both had pleasurable long-lasting orgasms and when we came down from them we both fell asleep again, with my cock unwilling to leave its warm, wet, heavenly, quiescent place.

The next thing I recognized was a kiss being placed on my cheek as someone lightly shook me. I looked up and a dressed -- obviously in the same clothes as last night -- Vivian was smiling down at me. "I'll probably have to keep your cum in my pussy all day -- I have lots of work to do -- and don't have time for a douche or shower. Needless to say you outdid yourself last night. Propose some dates and places for our week on a tropical island, and I'll prepare the necessary contract. I'll leave my card with my personal cellphone number on it on your kitchen table."

She lightly kissed me on the cheek again, I grabbed her and kissed her cheek. "I would have given you a passionate kiss on the lips but I don't want to scare you away with my morning breath, sex goddess," I grinned.

She laughed, pulled away, and was gone.

Rather than bouncing out of bed fully awake like I normally do I lay in bed smug and smiling for at least five minutes. While Vivian was normally aloof and proper I had seen enough in bed last night to predict that she would be an animal between the sheets on our trip. I sang in the shower the first time since I realized that I had to "verify" Haley.

*************

I emailed several proposed places and dates to Vivian, the closest six weeks off, the most remote in time four months off. We talked on the phone several times -- her voice was very professional on the phone but it still caused my brain to go back to how sublime her body was the night that we spent together. We finally agreed on a date nine weeks away with Aruba as the destination. She told me that she had the contract ready to sign, so I met her at her office 11:00 a. m. the next day.

She was all business when we met the next day in one of her firm's all glass conference rooms so there wouldn't be any hanky-panky. She explained the basic principles before she had me read the contract she had prepared. In a reserved voice she said "Since it wouldn't be legal to put a week of sex as consideration in the contract I put that you will be dismissing the suit against Winston, insure that his name is not on the birth certificate, and will not publicize anything in any way for $7500. You can use that money as your half of the approximate cost of our trip -- if the cost exceeds $15,000 I will cover the overage. Of course the real consideration will be our trip to Aruba."

I read the contract over -- it was in simpler language that in most contracts I had read, which pleased me. It was exactly as she described it.

After I finished reading it a second time I asked her "Mrs. Foster if you were my attorney advising me would you counsel me to sign this document before you had performed on your promise of an erotic trip together?"

She stared at me with her deep blue eyes. "I would counsel you that you would be a fool to sign it before the performance you desired, but had not yet been completed, was in fact completed. At the least I would counsel you to wait until you were on the plane to Aruba with me before you signed."

I smiled. "Please have your notary come in now; I have a pen and I'm ready to sign."

"After what I just advised you?" she queried with raised eyebrows.

"I want to demonstrate to you that I trust you more than I do my soon-to-be ex-wife."

She raised her eyebrows again and on the phone called a notary from her office to come into the conference room. We each signed and had notarized three copies of the contract and a stipulation to be filed in court, and I was given a check for $7500. Vivian instructed the notary on what to do with two of the copies, while handing one to me.

After the notary left Vivian asked "Is there anything in particular that I should bring to Aruba?"

"A few of bathing suits, maybe a one-piece, a bikini, and a string bikini," the last one said with a grin, "some casual, water, and dancing shoes, a little black dress and an alluring blue one to match your eyes, and a couple of magazines to read on the plane. I'll email anything else after I pin down the hotel and excursions with my travel agent."

She smiled, we shook hands like business associates, and I turned to leave. Just before I exited the conference room I turned back and said "By the way, do you have a trial before we leave; I'd like to spend a day watching you in action."

This evoked a big grin on her face. "Ten days from today will be the third day of a civil trial, which will have more action than the first two days. I'll email the information to you."

I winked, and left.

I did attend a day of her trial, and as long as I agreed to keep quiet even was invited to a working lunch brought into a conference room, with her two associates, a representative of her client corporation, and a paralegal.

Watching her in court was better than watching a Perry Mason movie. She was as tough and aggressive as an orca, while at the same time seeming to connect with the jury. "I don't ever want her pissed at me," I chuckled as I left for the day.

We talked on the phone about one thing or another about every other day until it was time for our trip. Most of the conversations were short, but a couple on Sundays were more than an hour long and substantive -- we actually got to know each other a little.

The day finally came, and I was more excited than at any other time in my life. Vivian was a very complex woman, way out of my league in the looks and sophistication departments, yet she seemed to like me and I was coming to believe more and more that she was going to go all out on our trip.

Of course a problem had to arise the night before the day our flight was leaving at 2:05 p. m. A legal firestorm hit her office. She had her luggage expressed to me at the airport and it looked like she might miss the flight -- but she got there just before last call, and since we had first class tickets we had good reserved seats and room for our carry-on luggage.

Vivian was flustered and gave a big sigh when she sat down in the window seat. I told her to relax and that I would be pampering her on our trip; and to tell me as much as she wanted to about her last sixteen hours from hell. She did just that including telling me that at most she got two hours of troubled sleep the night before. After she vented for about an hour and consumed two drinks, she calmed down some and for a while actually lay her head on my shoulder.

We stayed in a luxury suite at the Ritz Carlton in Aruba. I could tell that she was really tired and stressed from her ordeal of the previous night and this morning so I suggested that we eat in the casual restaurant of the Ritz. After dinner her eyes drooped even more. I helped her draw a warm bubble bath in the ornate and spacious bathroom and scrubbed her back for her.

"I'll do my best to hold up my end of the bargain," she moaned at one point in the tub as I scratched her back with a luffa.

"Don't worry about that," I said, "We have seven full days and nights after tonight."

As I dried her when she got out of the tub she complained "I wanted to do my toenails up right but didn't have the time," as she looked down at her feet.

"Let me," I chuckled.

After mild protests she lay naked on our bed while I applied crimson polish to her toenails. "This must be a chore for you," she moaned at one point.

I laughed "Looking at the best naked body in my experience is a pleasure, not a chore." She seemed to like that.

After I dried her toenail polish with a hair dryer I told her "Lay on your stomach, you need a massage."

"We can have sex," she said as she turned over, "you don't have to do that."

"I want you in tip top shape tomorrow so of course I'm going to give you a massage; you liked the last one I gave you, didn't you?"

"That's the most rhetorical question that I've ever been asked," she chuckled. After that she made no more sounds except whimpers.

Ten minutes after I started my massage she was snoring. I showered, got into bed naked next to her and snuggled up to her and fell asleep myself.

I anticipated that she probably wouldn't wake up until about 9:00 a. m. so I had room service ready to deliver at 9:15. I had done my research -- I talked to her secretary about all of her likes and dislikes -- pretending that I was doing an article about her for a legal journal -- and so the breakfast had her favorite things. She was starting to stir just before nine o'clock, so I lightly shook her and kissed her. "Breakfast in our suite's living room in fifteen minutes Mrs. Foster," I smiled.

Vivian ate with enthusiasm, wide awake and in a great mood. She must have complimented me a dozen times on my choice of breakfast items and how nice and understanding I was the previous night in pampering her rather than demanding sex. "I have ulterior motives," I laughed after each compliment from her.

The Ritz had a wonderful policy where you could sign up for your time of room service -- within a fifteen minute window. I signed up for 10:30 a. m. After breakfast we took a walk around the hotel grounds and for a little while on the beach; how naturally she worked her hand into mine really made me smile inwardly.

When we got back to the room at 11:00 a. m. it had been cleaned and the generous maid's tip that I had left taken and a "Thank You" left behind. Then something totally unexpected happened. Hard ass trial attorney Vivian Foster began to cry.

"What's the matter Mrs. Foster?" I asked, hugging her.

"You've been nicer to me than anyone else has in the last decade and I punked out on you last night; I'm so sorry..."

I think that she was going to say more, but my intense kiss shut her down. A few minutes after my lips touched hers we were rutting like a pair of bonobos on our bed, her DD tear drop shaped tits slapping into each other as I pistoned in and out of her delectable pussy. My ejaculation was my most intense since I could remember, and if she hadn't muffled her scream with a pillow it probably would have shattered glass objects in our adjacent living room.

In one word I can describe the sex the next seven days and nights -- divine! I was right in predicting that she would be an animal between the sheets. I don't think that there was any sex act that wasn't deviant that two people could perform that we didn't experience on Aruba. Waking up in the middle of the night, with fatigue providing a powerful aphrodisiac was certainly the best sex of my life by a long shot.

During the entire trip Vivian was never aloof. She was proper outside our room but in our room was as indecorous and motivated as a high priced call girl looking for a great bonus.

We didn't just fuck. We went paddle boarding, surfing (she was decent, I was horrible), kayaking, parasailing, hiking, swimming, dancing, and much more. We also worked out at the Ritz fitness room three times. I knew then why her body was so sculpted; she was a workout fiend, displaying the same intensity with weights and an elliptical that she did in the courtroom.

One night at dinner she whispered "Why don't you take my ass tonight -- I know how you love looking at and pinching it; why not fuck it?"

I gave her a big smile.

"I have to get drunk first, though, so start plying me with doubles."

Given that she always wanted to be in control I was shocked by her desire to get drunk, but I did as asked not just during dinner, but during vigorous dancing afterward. She took a while in the bathroom "preparing myself," and then got on her hands and knees on the bed, laughed as she swatted her ass, and then ordered "Get going cowboy."

Fucking her perfect bubble butt was really fun, and her orgasm was surprisingly intense and vocal. Looking back on it my enjoyment was probably due more to the novelty and wickedness of the situation than anything else because I really did enjoy fucking her pussy and tits more.