The Dragonborn Comes Ch. 44

We filled our pockets, packs and bags with what we could before agreeing that it was time to head home. All of us wanting to make it home, we practically marched back, only stopping once we were all exhausted, sleeping together, before rising and continuing on.

It was only when we were a day or two from the surface that thing shit the fan. We'd been fighting our way through darkspawn again. It wasn't a surprise that our expedition had attracted their attention. We were never in any real danger, but having to fight our way in then our way out was annoying. It had been another long day of marching, as we were all eager to make it home, so we were exhausted on our feet, not wanting to stop until we basically collapsed. But when Bethany did fall to the ground, I heard Hawke yell out.

The wound at her side was ugly and it was obviously caused by the darkspawn. Bethany had mentioned feeling unwell, but now she looked like she was on death's door. "Ideas, people," I asked.

Looking around, Anders stepped forward. "She's tainted, Dragonborn. There is only one option, otherwise she will die."

"And that is?"

"We take her to the Grey Wardens and have them perform the Joining."

I looked at Hawke and she nodded her agreement. I picked Bethany up in my arms, simply snuggling into me, making light moans and it was clear she wasn't going to live long without help.

We found the Grey Wardens a few hours later, led by someone named Stroud, who seemed to know Anders rather well. If there was a backstory to that, I wasn't particularly interested. Anders explained what happened and what we needed to do. Stroud wasn't convinced. So I lay Bethany down on the ground, stepped forward and grabbed him by the colour. "Know who I am?"

"No. Should I?"

"Ragnar Dragonborn. Some even call me the Hero of Ferelden."

"Dragon...? Hero...?" He sighed. "Shit. Look, talk tough all you want, but we're not a charity. And even if we go through the ritual, she might not survive."

"But she could survive. Bethany is a lot tougher than you seem to think."

"You either get a Warden or she dies. But give her a chance," Hawke added.

I let go of his collar as he conferred with his fellow Wardens. Returning a few minutes later, he agreed to the ritual. "If she lives, she comes with us."

"No, that's not necessary. The Ferelden Embassy has a Grey Warden presence. Bethany can remain there and work with the Wardens."

"That is highly irregular. I will have to raise this with my superiors."

"Fine. Do what you must, but Bethany stays with us if she survives."

Few knew of the ritual. I did, as did Anders and Brosca, so I picked up Bethany and we moved away from the rest, as the Joining had to be performed in secret. One or two probably figured out what was done. After the words were spoken, Stroud offered the chalice to Bethany. She was hesitant at first before she took a gulp. I held her hand as I watched, holding my breath.

When her eyes opened, I sighed with relief. "You are now a Grey Warden, Bethany," Stroud announced.

Helping her up, I gave her a hug and thanked Anders for the suggestion, polite enough to shake Stroud's hand as well, thanking him for agreeing to the ritual. I don't think he was entirely happy, particularly after I'd threatened him, but he agreed that another Warden in the ranks could only be a good thing. We gave Bethany time to recover before returning to the rest, having made camp as they waited. Sitting around the campfire, Brosca and Anders explained what Bethany would experience over the coming weeks and months.

It took another couple of days to return to the surface, and I wasn't the only one to take a big gulp of fresh air, closing my eyes as I felt the sun on my face. I'm not sure how long we'd been underground but I figured it was at least two weeks, and it took another day before we made it back into Kirkwall itself.

Our group split up after returning, Brosca, the Hawke sisters and Merrill following me back to the embassy, the rest returning to their homes. Heading inside, I walked straight to the office, but was surprised to find it empty. Anora would usually be sat there busy at work by now. Turning around, Solona and Leandra appeared in the doorway. The smile on my face was immediate but disappeared as both women appeared upset. "Hello girls, where's Anora?"

I noticed Solona was crying while Leandra shook her head. I leaned back against the desk. "Girls, where's Ani?"

Both walked towards me, my eyes falling on the Hawke sisters, Brosca and Merrill behind. They hugged me together as I asked quietly, "Where is she?"

Solona looked up, her eyes glistening, and she simply shook her head. I knew what that meant. "I'm sorry, Ragnar," Leandra whispered.

"When?" I asked, before needing to swallow down everything else I was feeling, "When did she go?" I didn't need to ask about the other thing. All I knew is that I'd left her alone when it happened. "Do you know where she went?"

"She left in the middle of the night, Ragnar," Leandra replied, "We didn't even know she'd gone until the next morning."

They let me go as I grabbed the pack I'd dropped by the door and headed upstairs. I quickly checked on my son, and he was fast asleep, before heading to the bedroom and started to pack a few supplies. Everyone gathered at the door. "What are you doing?" Hawke wondered, though I figured it would be obvious.

"I'm going after her."

"You don't even..." She trailed off when I looked at her. I didn't need to say a word. I'm sure my face and eyes said everything.

"First thing I'll need to do is find some sort of artist to draw a picture of what she looks like. I can describe her perfectly but a picture would be a bonus."

"I'll head out right now and see if I can find someone," Brosca stated.

I was packed and ready to go within minutes, heading downstairs, looking for anything that might suggest where Anora might have gone. Sitting at her desk, I checked every drawer and that's when I found the letter she'd left for me. Reading it broke my heart as she blamed herself for everything. That only increased my desire to find her. I wouldn't rest until I had.

Brosca returned with someone in tow, and after introducing him, he sat as I described Anora. It took him a couple of hours before he had a recognisable sketch of her face, good enough to show people and they'd definitely be able to tell me if they'd seen her.

With that in my pocket, I thanked and paid the man, grabbed my pack, and headed to the front door. The girls didn't ask when I'd be back. I could be gone for... well, I wouldn't be back until I found her. "Where do you think she's gone?" Hawke asked after I'd given them all a hug.

"Not Ferelden. She wouldn't return there. Too much heartbreak as it is. Not Orlais, because she might be recognised and she's not particularly fond of them either. And north eventually leads into Vint territory. So I'm banking on her heading east through the Free Marches. Get as far away from here, Ferelden, everything, as far as possible..."

"Good luck," Hawke stated.

I headed to the gate leading east and showed the guard on duty her picture. He couldn't tell me if he'd seen her or not, nor could any of the others we asked. They saw so many people come and go, they just couldn't be sure. If she'd left at night, then it would have been impossible. I was confident she would at least have headed this way, so after heading to the stables and mounting my horse, I headed east.

I followed the coast road, pushing the horse for as long as possible until it just had to rest. It took a couple of days to make Ostwick, and it was here whether I'd be proven right or wrong. I had no idea if she had money, supplies or anything, but I did figure she would need a roof over her head and food in her stomach, and the best place for that would be a tavern. Rooms were cheap and there's more chance of being invisible.

The first three innkeepers didn't recognise her. The fourth did. "Oh, I remember her. Never seen a woman so sad."

"How long ago?"

"Oh, over a week now, at least."

"Did you talk to her? Did she at least tell you her name?"

"Aye, she did. Anora. Didn't say too much else. Only stayed the night before leaving the next day." He paused before adding, "Definitely a woman running from something. I've seen enough heartbreak in my years to recognise it."

I pressed a couple of coins into his hand as thanks. At least I had a lead.

Checking my map the next morning, I had a choice, either north towards Markham, which would involve crossing mountains, or I'd continue down the coast towards Hercinia. I didn't think Anora would want to cross mountains so I continued heading along the coast. With my mind so focused on finding her, I didn't feel lonely. And I was undisturbed as well, knowing roads like this were usually targets for bandits. I think my face alone would have scared them off.

Making it to Hercinia within a couple of days, pushing my horse hard once again, I did the same thing as Ostwick, heading from tavern to tavern with her picture. This time I had better luck, the second tavern being where she had stayed a night. I took a chance and asked, "Did she say where she was going?"

The innkeeper nodded. "Yes, though she said it wasn't her final destination."

"But where was she going?"

"Antiva City. She didn't know where she'd go from there. She talked about getting a ship and sailing further north."

I pressed more coins into his palm as thanks, staying there for the night. At least I had a target now. No idea how long it would take for me to ride there. Looking over the map, there was no easy route. There was a river I'd have to try and find a bridge to cross. There were plenty of cities where I could at least rest my head but I wouldn't ask after her. I believed she wouldn't have lied simply because she probably wouldn't think I would come after her so quickly.

Continuing along the coast, I eventually passed through Wycome, found a bridge to cross the Minanter River, and the road to Antiva City now lay ahead of me. I continued to follow the coast, the landscape now changing, as did the architecture of the cities, particularly when I entered Antiva itself. Though humans, they were a different culture, their voices accented. I kept to myself, didn't drink when I stayed at a tavern, sleeping and rising early, spending every second of daylight riding.

I remembered Zevran describing Antiva City during one of our many conversations, and what he told me simply didn't do the city justice. Wealth was certainly on display, that much was for sure. What looked like palaces lined the coast. The docks were enormous, as were many of the ships currently being loaded or unloaded. I wouldn't say the streets were paved with gold, but while there were signs of poverty, I would admit that there would have been a large middle-class living in the city.

Due to the sheer size, finding Anora was going to be a needle in a haystack. I needed to use whatever influence my name would have to help. I eventually found a tavern and introduced myself. "Heard of you," the innkeeper said.

"Word travels, it seems," I replied.

"What brings you to Antiva City? You're a long way from home."

"I'm looking for someone."

"Who?"

I showed him the picture. "Her name is Anora."

"She done something wrong?"

"Not at all. She's running from something that she doesn't need to run from. I'm simply here to take her home."

"I haven't seen her but you could check other taverns. There are a lot of them though."

I wasn't going to bother doing that. I knew telling him would lead to whispers and, by word of mouth, someone would eventually approach. It was at least three days later when I was walking along one of the many boulevards of the city when I felt a presence next to me. "Dragonborn," the voice stated.

I know I smiled. "Zevran. Figured news of my arrival would reach you. Are you well?"

"I am. But what brings you to Antiva City? I never expected..."

I showed him the picture. "I'm looking for her."

"Anora?" he exclaimed, "Why is she here?"

"It's a very long story. But I need to find her, Zevran. I need to take her home."

"Leave it with me. Where are you staying?"

"The Shipyard Tavern. It seemed an appropriate place to stay."

"I'll meet you there when I've found her."

"You think you can find her?"

He laughed, and that was my answer. Then he was gone.

Zevran was good at his job as he returned within a couple of days, sliding across the table a piece of paper which had three words written down. "She's staying there. She intends to board a ship within the day."

"Going where?"

"Sundarin."

"Where in oblivion is that?"

We looked over my map of Thedas and he pointed it out. "Anderfels. Probably one of the most isolated places in Thedas. The ship will pass through both qunari and Tevinter territory. Of course, I assume Anora won't be on the ship."

"No, she won't."

"Good luck, Dragonborn."

I shook his hand in thanks. I think he might have wanted to say one or two things but now wasn't the right time. But I figured I'd see him in Kirkwall one day in the future.

I headed straight for the tavern where Anora was meant to be staying. It was far larger than the place I had been staying, walking in to see a long bar and quite a large seating area. Asking the barman which room Anora was in, he glanced behind me and said, "She was just sitting at that table."

Glancing back, there was a plate of half-eaten food. "There a back door to this place?"

"Aye, go that way then turn left."

She must have seen me and ran straight away. Never saw her. So I headed out the back door, exiting into an alley. I took a guess and headed left, jogging to the end, where I found myself on a main road. And I saw her running. And she was certainly fast. I ran after her. It probably looked like I was chasing her for other reasons other than I just wanted to talk to her.

She definitely had stamina as I realised we were heading towards the docks, passing by dockworkers and numerous ships. She ran right to the end and ended up sprinting down a pier. I stopped at the end as she came to a halt, looking out over the water. Part of me thought she was serious about jumping in to get away. Cautiously, I walked towards her. She never turned around but must have known I was coming.

Laying a hand on her shoulder, she turned and buried her face into my chest. The cry she released was one of pain, and anguish, and heartbreak, and of utter despair. I felt her grip my shirt as I could only hold her, the dam I'd been holding back for days and weeks finally breaking, silent tears falling down my cheeks as I tried my best to comfort her. I held her until she fell silent, and there were no more tears for either of us, just holding her in my arms, wanting to tell her how much I loved her.

"You came for me," she whispered.

"I'd have gone to the ends of the world, Ani."

"Why? Why do you want to be with me after...?"

I leaned back, lifting her head with a finger before I cupped her face gently with both hands, caressing her cheeks with my thumbs to dry the tears. "Anora, I love you more than anything."

"But I obviously can't... I look at Solona and..." Her lips started to tremble. "I can't do it again, Ragnar. I can't live with the hope and then the despair. And I know you want..."

"What I want is you, Ani. That's all I want."

"But what about... What about children? It's obvious I can't. No wonder Cailan... You're better off..."

I leaned down to kiss her. Just a soft one. "You are my queen, Anora. You are my everything. If you run again, I'll find you. What I do know is that I want to wake up by your side every morning, and have you fall asleep in my arms every night. I would do anything in my power to make you smile every day." Grabbing both her hands, I held them to my chest. "We stop trying."

"But you want... How could you be with a woman who can't? I'm... I'm defective. Barely..."

"Anora Mac Tir, shut up this instant." That shocked her enough that she did fall silent. "The Anora Mac Tir I know is brave, intelligent, beautiful, charming, with an iron will that will overcome any obstacle. A woman is not defined by the fact she gives birth or not. You've already proven to be so much more as the leader of a nation during a crisis, and now as the representative of your nation on foreign soil. Motherhood would never have defined who you are, Anora. It would have simply been another element of what makes you... you. What I do know is that I will be with you no matter what. You're not getting rid of me that easily, and that's for damned sure." I leaned down to kiss her again. "And the most important thing is that I love you, and I know damned sure that you love me in return."

"I do," she whispered, "More than anything."

"So what do you want to do? Your choice, Anora. I can't make you do anything, or I won't. I've told you how I feel now. All I want is you, and as long as I have you by my side from this day forward, I will be happy."

Resting her head against my chest again, she whispered, "We can't try again, Ragnar. We just can't."

"So we won't," I stated softly, "The gods are being cruel, robbing us of something we both want. But we will still have each other."

"I really thought..." She trailed off and sighed. "Watching Solona... It's difficult..."

"I know it will be, and I'm sorry."

"No, never be sorry. She wanted to be a mother too. I can't hate her because she was blessed." She leaned back, looking up into my eyes. "I'll come home, Ragnar. I want to be with you too."

That caused me to smile, leaning down to kiss her again, this time a proper kiss which she responded to, wrapping arms around each other. I heard some applause nearby, turning around to see that a crowd had formed. I'm not sure they heard what was going on, but they cheered as we continued to make out. It certainly made Anora smile though obviously embarrassed as she buried her head into my chest again.

Snuggling into my side as I wrapped an arm around her, we made our way off the docks, receiving one or two questions about what it was all about. I just said we needed a heart to heart by the docks. Back at the tavern she was staying in, she grabbed her things as she had been preparing to leave and joined me back at my tavern. Once inside my room, we kicked off our shoes and lay down on the bed, Anora cuddling into me again. "I'm sorry for disappearing," she said quietly.

"Don't be sorry. I should be for leaving you alone."

She grabbed one of my hands. "I still can't believe you found me."

"You left a good enough trail. I think part of you did that so I would eventually end up here."

"I want to go home, Ragnar. Can we go home tomorrow?"

"Of course. It'll be a long trip though."

"I get time with you alone so you'll hear no complaints."

"Might have to camp out a few times."

"We can gaze upon the stars as we make love then." I glanced at her. "I'll buy some potions before we leave, just to be safe. I don't have any now so..."

"Anora, I'm just glad to have you here by my side. We don't have to do anything except talk, lie in comfortable silence, have a nap, anything. I really don't mind."

We left the next morning, bright and early. Though we had talked everything out the previous night, the wounds of our loss were still raw, and I knew she was still thinking as we started our journey home. More than once I'd be holding onto her and I knew she'd be spilling some tears. I'd just hold her tighter and assure her that I loved her. She told me that always made her feel better, at least a little bit.

It took a few nights before we both felt in the right frame of mind to make love. But Anora did get what she wanted as we camped out under the stars, making love by the campfire. As she rode me nice and slow, my hands all over her body, we both looked up at the night sky. The only thing comparable in beauty was the women currently riding me. I told her that and it made her giggle, teasing me about my corny lines, but she knew I meant them with endless amounts of affection.