by Remec
Seems to me you might come across some trouble when trying to deepen your plot . . , because as it is, it's only one part mysterious, one part boring, and 2 parts shallow. I hope your next chapter is filled with suspense/action/some sort of twist in the plot that will give it some fire and excitement. I definitely see the potential in the story. I hope you will find it.
I like the way the story started out and looking forward to more of it. Good job.