All Comments on 'The Eighth Warden Bk. 04 Ch. 25-26'

You go girl! Show those old men who's boss! Maybe the old goat will soften up now and might actually be willing to entertain the thought of more sparring against Ariadne, maybe even help her improve her fighting skills without magic.

Good luck to Yassi. That poor woman desperately needed to get away from that bastard. Maybe she'll get lucky and run into Corec's group? Then Treya can hopefully free her of all those compulsions, provided they can be removed since the prick included them with the Warden bond. I do hope that asshole doesn't have a means to force her to return besides sending goons after her.

Thanks for the update, Ivy. Keep up the good work!

Perfect

Man. Thank God you're back. Really love this story but you are stalling and it feels stagnant.

5 stars again! Can't wait to read the next part ! Thanks!

Loving the story! But have to agree with the previous comment that said you're stalling and it feels stagnant. You've crafted an amazing world, but the story itself is filled with lots of minutiae rather than moving the plot forward, or character development.

Something which would help your readers immensely would be including some identifying/clarifying adjectives to character & location introductions opening paragraphs of new serial submissions.

At this point in your series, there are a lot of chracters and locations to remember. Simply adding 1–2 adjectives to character & location names, when first used in a new submission would help to quickly reactivate reader memories. It"s along the same lines of why some writers include either a couple of paragraphs of a previous chapter rehash or the inclusion, verbatim of the last few paragraphs.

Personally, I dislike both methods as they are unnecessary work, and tend to be more redundant than they are memory enhancers.

For example, here are some phrases from the first 3-5 paragraphs of this submission. Some have suggested modifications, immediately following. Some are without suggestions because I can't recall the character or location, and I haven't read the entire submission, yet.

"Eellerie closed the book..."

"Eellerie, the reluctant Elven princess, closed the book..."

"…found in Tir Yadar."

"…found in the ancient xxxxx city, Tir Yadar."

"…found in the recently discovered city of Tir Yadar."

"Except for Hildra."

"Except for the warden Hildra."

"Except for Hildra, from XXXX."

"…known in Teravas..."

"…known in the XXXX city of Teravas..."

"…without Sevala..."

"…without Sevala, the XXX..."

(The XXXX's are where I can't recall details about the characters.)

Not only will the addition of memory re-association adjectives help your readers jump quickly into the latest serialization, but they will add 'color', 'vibrancy' & 'depth' to your writing.

Remember, THE goal of the written word is communication. Anything you can do, as a writer, to improve or facilitate communication helps accomplish that primary goal, with the aded benefit of improving the overall quality of your work.

You want to constantly strive to make it easy/easier for your readers to immerse themselves in your world. The fine balance is between being just helpful enough vs being redundant to the point of repetiveness.

Hope this helps. You have an engaging tale going, taking place in a unique world, with well developed chracters. If the format was not serial in nature, my suggestions would not be necessary.

Thanks for sharing your delightful imagination.

GeoD

Can't wait for more chapters, this is a very nice non-sex story. Keep it up.

I'vw waited a long time for more of this story... it's very good!!! Now on to the next chapter :)