All Comments on 'The Empty Chair Pt. 01'

But what value is added by breaking it up into smaller chunks? I check in about once a week, so there is a good chance that it will slide down the list of new stories and I won’t see post #2. I assume there is a twist coming up, but I don’t have enough of an emotional investment yet, to change my reading habits.

Thank you and good luck!

I hate cliffhangers. This not a complete scene.

You set it all up and left.me.hanging. Great start, but damn I'd like a longer story that didn't keep me waiting.

You need to use quotation marks on dialogue.

Other than that it was okay, I just don't understand why you'd split it up into such tiny chapters.

Surely he could wait long enough to get DNA results back.

It would be much easier to get away with Pressman's murder if he could claim no knowledge of the affair prior to the death of the twins' father.

This is great!! Waiting for part 2 &3

to short

However in my case the facts and circumstances did not surface for a number of years after we married.

Fantastic Start!..Look forward to the rest of this intriguing Story!

You have my vote. 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Don't need 3 segments to finish this... her "WHY ARE YOU ASKING !!!", response can be followed up by his saying, "either he just died in a car crash, or you are sleeping with his replacement." So which is it? And the story ends. But im sureit is all innocent and the sex she is gi ing away is only to make their life better.

Cut off too short

I am sure you will hear about this mental fart.

AMerryman 2.0

Need to be a three part story.

This plane is interesting but it’s sputtering a bit. Can’t tell if it’s going to soar or crash but I’m sure I’ll read to find out.

If the next two installments are as short as this , why didn't you just post them together as one normal length story ?

Otherwise , interesting start , and I want to see where you go with this .

You plan on finishing this.

Hubby’s character development was minimal and wife even less. Nothing to pull me in or make the cliff hanger ending compelling.

Their history seems meaningless and not smoothly integrated into the story arc.

Married nine months, 3 months old twins hubby in car accident lands in hospital wife is their then jump forward to married 6 years husband asks if wife is having affair and story begins with hubby in hospital.

I guess it could take 3 chapters to conclude this mess but not certain it will ever get interesting.

im sick of authors post one page chapters days weeks or months apart

It's good to see you back in the saddle again and riding. Look forward to chapter 2.

Wow the kids aren't mine.J

It gives the cliffhanger less of an impact than it otherwise could have.

If you've written the entire story and each chapter is one page, it's a mistake NOT to post the entire story at once. Even if your story ends up being 4 or 5 pages, posting it together is the best idea. People have short attention spans and shorter tempers. As it sits, this wasn't very good. I hope the last two chapters, posted together, saves it.

So far, this is part of a story with no plot and not enough action.

I truly don't know how to score this one. I don't think you helped yourself with the jumps in time; a straight telling of an erotic story would be much better--I think.

After reading the comments I had to re-read the story--guess I'm stupid, cause I still don't see valid reason for some of the conclusions drawn by others. Except for those who love a mystery, making a reader use too much brain work to stay in a story probably isn't a good idea.

Anyway, thanks for the effort. cd

I have looked at your other stories and it seems you have what you feel is a good formula. You begin a story and then jump to backstory, come back to present day and then add backstory. The biggest problem I have with that is often the back story is of no interest to the reader as it does not support the plot in any meaningful way. Then we have a source which reveals all, be it a diary, or a cell phone. You find the wife is/was cheating and jump back and forth from discovery to resolution. You use one set of quotation marks every few pages, but mostly make the story look like a manual, with little punctuation. Post it in a short chapter and repeat as needed. Hey, if readers like how you are too lazy or disinterested to punctuate and post longer chapters, who am I to complain? Enjoy your freedom from convention.

An interesting start.

In SERIOUS FUCKING NEED OF EDITING!!! No quotation marks where needed, far too short, no need to break a 'short' story up into less than one page chapters.

I tried to read your earlier efforts, but they are just as bad as this.

Honestly, get an editor for both content and grammar. Then answer the questions: Why is he in the darkened room alone... Why didn't he address the issue when his daughter first broached the subject of her mother's displeasure... Why add the incident in the hospital and the drunk driver if it plays no appreciable bent to the story?

All this and more waiting to be answered in the "next chapter"? NOT

Write to finish, not piss off the reader!

Smokepole

Once again we have one of these stories where a supposedly loving husband and wife know nothing about each other's backgrounds. They don't know about previous boyfriends or girlfriends... at least the serious ones..they don't know about each other religions or family backgrounds or overall experience.

I don't know why people write stories like this. Come on folks this does not happen in the real world it just doesn't. I guess it's some sort of plot device but it's stupid and becomes a real sore point with me

Why break a 3 page story into 3 parts

STUPID!

some constructive advice.

Stories need dialogue. Chapters need to be more than one page if you want to draw the reader in, especially with the first chapter. Flashbacks are almost invariably useless and are skipped over by many readers.

No good reason for it.

First, listen to Hard Day's Knight.

Second, Don't apologize for grammatical errors in advance; it only makes people want to look for them. Regrettably those who find mistakes are the least capable of doing anything themselves.

Third, yeah part one was short, so what. However, I would have waited till the start of part two before asking Beth about Alex. The reader would be in doubt about your decision that way. Regardless, you've done it. We all can see the iceberg so from here on it's full steam ahead.

Good beginning. Ignore the 'know it all' experts, especially the anons.

Thanks for a good start. It gets a five from me.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

But too short for a chapter set

Good question.

+1 to Bebop3 comments.

No dialogs, unnecessary flashbacks (he could've just said "I remember"), no actions - only thoughts and memories.

this guy is to stupid to live

Cuck RAAC finish, be warned