The Escalation

For some people Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year and yet for others Thanksgiving dinner is the day they look forward to the most, but for me and my friend Jake April Fools Day is the reason for getting up in the morning. We've been friends since grade school and Jake has always been the jokester, a class clown through and through, but when we get together we elevate pranks from petty mischief to artistic masterpieces.

In elementary we started with the classics: fart machine under the teacher's chair, cling wrap around the toilet bowl in the girl's washroom, an opened tin of anchovies slid under the receptionist's desk at the principal's office, and the like, but we soon upped our game, each trying to outdo the other. In grade 7 Jake got the school's only copy of the antiquated "Learning About Your Body" VHS they showed in Health class and meticulously dubbed over all the technical sex terms with old-timey horn sounds; "Roll the condom down over your *PFFRRP PFFRRP* to stay protected before you engage in *AWOOOGA*" could be heard in the middle school lunchroom years after we graduated. In my junior year of high school I built a website for a fake motivational speaker and got the school to book them for an assembly on "Success After School." On the day of the assembly a Chris Farley impersonator my uncle knew ran through three quarters of the "Van Down by the River" skit from SNL before the principal clued in.

April Fools Day was the crown jewel of our year and we always tried to one-up each other, ratcheting up the stakes each year and planning weeks in advance, just to see who could go the farthest for a laugh. On April 1 in grade 11 Jake got flyers printed and posted in throughout town advertising "Affordable Male Companionship for Older Women" and put my cell number at the bottom. I was getting calls from horny old women right through that summer. The next year I saved up for three months and paid for an aerial banner to be flown over our hometown that read "Stacy McKeown, will you marry me?" The shit-show it caused with his first long-term girlfriend, and the conservative parents that didn't know they were dating, almost broke our friendship. We always seemed to patch it up, each of us planning to get back at the other one next year.

In college we went to different schools but always found the time in the to really pull out all the stops. One year he drove into town, convinced my roommates to get me blackout drunk and when I passed out he dragged my mattress out onto the pitchers mound of our school's D1 baseball team diamond. I woke up painted in Mississippi State colours as the cameras were being setup for our annual spring rivalry with the Bulldogs. It made SportsCenter that year.

After graduation we drifted further apart. Jake got married a couple years ago and moved a few states over and I started working my way up the corporate ladder in the city and, since we were now making some money, the pranks kept escalating. Every year around mid-March our guard went up, not knowing what the other was planning, and didn't let up until after Easter, just in case.

This last year I was still wary and on the lookout for any sort of shenanigans but in the last week of March work started piling up at the office, so I put my nose to the grindstone and soon I lost track of the days. Finishing late one night I went home, changed out of my suit and tie, and was swiping right on Tinder in my apartment when I matched with a beautiful, mature-looking black woman a few miles away looking for 'a quiet dinner and conversation ONLY.' I was scrolling for a little more action than that but hadn't yet eaten so I agreed and we picked a spot downtown to meet up for some Thai food.

I was not prepared or dressed for the woman that pulled up in the taxi shortly after I arrived at the restaurant. When Candice's legs swiveled out of the cab door and up on to the curb, I was dumbstruck. Six feet tall with heels, she was dressed in a black knee-length skirt and complimentary jacket over a loose white blouse. Hair done up in bun, she was wearing glasses and carrying a small matching handbag. Every aspect of her look was clean and manicured, her dark skin smooth and moisturized and gleaming in the streetlights. Clearly an executive of some sort from one of the downtown head offices or firms, her whole style exuded confidence and authority. Emerging from the cab she had an annoyed look on her face, so when she asked if I was Phil, it took me a long second to understand she was even talking to me.

"Yeah, uh, that's me. Uh, I'm sorry I didn't, um, dress appropriately?" I fumbled out in reply, looking down at my buttoned shirt and jeans.

Her face softening, she said quickly, "Oh, yeah, don't worry about it, I just got off work. Let's get inside and eat," and moved past me to the entrance of the restaurant. I followed silently like I'd been given an order from my own boss.

We ordered food and began talking over some pad thai and lemongrass chicken and she seemed to let her guard down. She'd gone to an Ivy League school and was working at a law firm downtown but was in a similar spot as I was, low on the totem pole but grinding. We seemed to have a lot in common and we bonded over some shared Netflix picks and a love of cats. Candice was sharp-witted and insightful and not at all as intimidating as her look portrayed when her wide smile came out. She talked about her family growing up in Atlanta and I regaled her with stories of small-town life in rural New Jersey. Over a bunch of drinks and a few plates of BBQ pork rolls we talked and laughed and silently checked each other out and ended up shutting the place down. Splitting the check, we made our way back into the now-cool evening, each pulling out the Uber app and dreading that awkward goodbye. Trying to keep to the terms of our original agreement, I kept it cordial.

"So, if you're ever up for dinner again, or you're on the east side and want to catch up on the newest season of that show or something, hit me up, or you know whatever," I rambled.

"Oh, you live east of downtown too? Let's split an Uber and you can tell me which season it gets good, because that first one is so boooring." She chuckled and sidled up next to me to compare addresses on the app. Getting up close she was almost my height, and the cool night air gave her a bit of a shiver that seemed to pass into me when our elbow touched.

"Perfect, yeah looks like you're on the way so let's drop you off first." I said, punching in the addresses and hailing for a driver on my phone.

The four minutes it took for the car to pull up seemed to last forever, the cold breeze sobering us up and seemingly destroying the rapport we'd built. I didn't even have a jacket to give her to keep her warm. When we got in the car, one of those rides with no music and a silent driver, the vibe seemed to drop even further. We settled into talking about work the next day and boring life shit and eventually fell as silent as our chauffeur. It seemed like we were destined to fall out of each others lives.

Candice began rolling off the work-related stress from her neck in long circles and took off her heels and rubbed at her toes and was making it obvious she wanted to get home and to sleep quickly. Looking out the window dejected I heard the unmistakeable soft 'click' of a bra clasp opening and turned to see her fishing it out of the top of her blouse.

"Phew. Oh, sorry, this thing has just been killing me all day," she explained, looking up at me and then turning to face her window, "can you get this knot out?" She pointed to her neck and shoulder and leaned backward towards me before I could sneak a furtive glance at what the bra had revealed.

Turning towards her, I caught her shoulders in my hands and immediately started rubbing the top of her trapezius muscles and neck, ironing out any hard spots with a rolling thumb on her smooth skin. Her shoulders were broad, she had strong traps and it was clear she worked out and was maybe a gymnast or something in the past because her muscles were well defined and taut. She quietly 'oohed' and 'aahed' when I hit a spot that needed tending to and was letting more of her weight fall into my hands.

Getting a glimpse over her shoulder now I could see that her blouse made no attempt to hide what the bra was keeping in check. Her dark areolas and nipples were now also well defined and taut, straining against the blouse and clearly shining through the thin, white fabric. I shot a quick glance to the rear-view mirror to see if the driver was sneaking a peek, but he had his eyes on the road, 9 and 3 on the wheel like a consummate professional.

Candice continued to lean back against me, and I held her up with my hands, rolling them up and over her shoulders and towards the front of her neck and collarbone. Staring down over her shoulder at her perky C-cup tits I moved my hands to her sides and rubbed the line her bra strap had made around the ribs and under each breast slightly. Getting no resistance to my caresses, I started circling the bottom of each boob slowly, lifting them up slightly as I worked them. She continued to lean into me in the back seat, eyes closed and murmuring coos of approval. I made my way up the underside of her tits and circled her tight nipples and rippled areolas with my index fingers, totally transfixed by her delectable bust, now completely in view through the open neck of her shirt. So focussed on her amazing chest was I that I didn't realize that she was now fully leaning on me with her face right next to mine. When I turned to see if she was still blissed out, she caught my gaze with fully open eyes and the hard stare that I first saw coming out the cab. Before I could say a word in my defence, she turned into me and kissed me passionately.

As we swirled our tongues together, a vague aftertaste of Singha beer and peanut sauce, she cupped my hands back up to her nipples and encouraged me to continue. I gave her nipples the tiny pinches needed to elicit more 'oohs,' that came out as 'mmms' while she was in my mouth. Releasing our kiss, she slid down the front my chest and came to rest on my lap looking up at me, the growing bulge in my pants pressing against the back of her neck.

Sensing an opportunity to take it to the next level, I moved one hand between her breasts with my palm down and slid it slowly down her stomach to where her blouse was tucked into her skirt. I could see the gap between her belly and the skirt and was almost into the promised land when she trapped her hand with mine against her, shook her head and said, "unh unh."

Feeling like I had maybe crossed a line I lifted my hands off her and without missing a beat she rolled around onto her knees and faced my crotch. Deftly popping off the first button and zipper she pushed my jeans down a few inches while I lifted my waist and pushed the top of my pants down enough to expose my now raging cock head. Wordlessly she popped her mouth over the head of my dick and sucked down to the pant line. Using one hand she fished a little more of my meat out of its denim prison and got down and under my balls, cupping them and pulling up gently.

Pausing back at the top of my now fully exposed rod she grabbed my right hand, placed it on the back of her head and waited for me to take control. I gave the driver a quick glance and, seeing him completely focussed on the road, pushed her down onto my full dick slowly and with even pressure. She took all six inches in one extended slurp, resting her lips at the top of my balls. It was my turn to let out an 'ooh'.

Releasing the back of her head, I let Candice take over and she began to bob the whole of my manhood in long, wet strokes. All the way up, circling the head of my dick, then all the way down, tongue out and lapping at my balls. My head lolled back against the head rest and stared out the window as she throat-fucked my cock in the backseat of that Uber. After a few minutes I started to feel the cum start to bubble up in me and was about to give her a warning when I noticed we were in her neighborhood. Tapping her head gently to come up, she looked out the window, dick still pressed between her lips, and gave it a single kiss before sitting up, putting her heels back on and gathering her jacket and purse.

I pushed my dick back into its denim cage and fumbled at the button and zipper, trying to get it together as effortlessly as she did when the car came to a stop. As soon as we pulled over she hopped out of the back seat and left without saying a word. Still trying to wrestle my boner back in my pants I was otherwise deflated and confused when I heard a knock at my window.

Rolling it down Candice asked with those hard eyes and a little smile, "I've changed my mind about tonight if you want to come up and tell me about that show. Or something..."

"Uh, yeah, absolutely." I stammered, grasping blindly for the door handle. I gave a last glance up to the rear-view to tell the driver we wouldn't be needing that second stop, but he was already looking back at me with a knowing stare and gave me a knowing nod and wink.

I tipped him 30% as I walked up to her apartment building.

Candice led the way through her lobby at a brisk pace, me having to double-time it to keep in stride with her long legs, nodded at the front desk person and high-tailed it to the elevators. She arrived at elevator a full 3 seconds before me and was facing me with a grin when I entered, doors closing quickly behind me. Before I could catch my breath she nodded at me and gestured for me to look down.

"Looks like you're having trouble with those," she observed, looking down at my jeans, ringed in spit with the tip of my dick peaking out of the waistband, "here let me help." Dropping to a squat she undid the top button and pulled down on my pant legs in one clean motion, again revealing my steely erection to her and my bare ass to the doors. She engulfed my tip and with one, two, three bobs it was once again buried hilt deep in her throat, her nose fully smashed against my trimmed pubes. Her hands on my ass cheeks she face fucked herself on my dick, the most exquisite wet slapping noises coming off my balls as her tongue spanked them.

I fucked her throat in that elevator for a good 2 min before a familiar ding behind me reminded us that we hadn't even left the ground floor. The doors opened and an affluent, older couple gasped when they saw my bare ass greeting them in their apartment lobby. I started to turn to excuse the scene, whatever I might say being completely inadequate compared to what they witnessed, when Candice reached up and hit the 20^th floor and Door Close buttons, all without saying a word. Her mouth never left my dick.

Riding the elevator up she swirled her mouth up and down my cock like she was on a mission, globs of spit splashing onto the elevator floor. I settled my hands on the top of her head, taking control of the face fucking, and she dropped her hands from my ass. As we neared her floor and the elevator started to slow, creating that weird feeling in your stomach like going over the top of a rollercoaster, she pulled off my dick for a second, pushed one of her long fingers deep into her mouth and brought it up between my legs. Looking up at me from the head of my cock she smiled wide again and hooked her sopping index finger between my ass cheeks and buried a knuckle in my hole.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed, and instinctively pulled backwards away from her, inadvertently burying her finger deeper in my butt. Correcting course I rocked my hips forward, but she met my advance with her mouth, taking my whole manhood back into her throat. My body froze, ass muscles clenching around the invader in my butt and dick hardening in her mouth for a good 10 seconds, until the spasms abated. Slowly she started again blowing me, sweetly looking up at me while she bobbed and drooled all over my dick. Keeping her finger still she let me join her slow tempo, my hips alternatively grinding up against her lips or sliding back onto the slick digit in my asshole. In that manner I see-sawed her in and out, taking either the full length of her finger in me or drowning the full length of my cock in her throat, while time slipped away. From inside my ass a growing wave of intense pressure was building, and was starting to feel like I was going to pass out or explode, or both.

I didn't realize the doors were open while I was getting fingerblasted at the end of the 20^th floor hallway, ten apartment doors judging us silently, as I turned to see if anyone was still awake and outside of their condo. Gratefully seeing no one, I turned back to Candice as she slid the finger out of my ass, stood up, and met my face with a salty, deep-tongued kiss. Before I could do anything (savor her kiss, pull up my pants, ask a question, anything) she slapped my ass with an open palm and walked past me down the hall. As if she willed it, the doors started to close behind her and I had to pivot and wedge my half-naked body into the opening to not get dragged back down to the lobby, where another tenant was likely calling the elevator.

"Hey, wait, um, Candice?" I blurted, almost tripping on my pant legs exiting the elevator and stumbling down the hall, but she was already nearing the end of the hall. She entered her condo, of course it was the last one at the end, and left the door ajar, retreating inside. I made a game-time decision to forgo trying to get dressed again and instead shuffle-walked the whole length of the hallway, dick out and dripping, hoping no curious neighbors were looking through their peepholes at the commotion outside.

I reached her doorway, slipped inside, and closed the door behind me, releasing the trapped air I had been holding in my lungs the length of my slut-shuffle down the hall. Falling back against the door I looked up to see Candice staring back at me in her foyer, completely nude save a black lace garter/panty/thigh-high combo, that had apparently been hiding under her skirt all day, and those same fuck-you heels. A string of spit dangled off her chin recklessly down to her ample tits, where other ropes of saliva had gathered, trophies of a job well done.

This time her disarmingly wide smile was not on display and rather she sported a thin grin and that same piercing gaze. She looked angry and menacing and devious and, with her hands resting on her wide black hips, impatient. Truthfully, she looked hungry. For the first time in my adult life, standing there with one hand grasping my wet pants and one hand spread in a useless wide web in front of my crotch, I felt almost afraid of a woman. I guess she could sense the fear in me because she winked, smiled at me mischievously and closed the distance between us, planting a delicate kiss on my lips. Lifting her heeled foot up and resting it on the waistband of my pants she pushed them out of my hand and on to the ground while simultaneously lifting my shirt up over my head.

I was now completely nude in her doorway when she turned, reached back with her hand and grasped my confused but still-excited boner. Leading me into her condo by my dick we passed a modest kitchen and dining room and, coming around a corner, an open living room that overlooked the city. Pulling me into the darkened master bedroom in the back of the apartment, tiny candles were already lit throughout. Before I could figure out how that could be, she led me towards the bed, turned me around in front of the end of it and, gripping her hand a little tighter around my cock, pushed me backwards on to it. Immediately pouncing on the bed, she knelt over me, hands and knees on either side, that same hungry look now inches from my face.

"You are unreal, Candice, and may be the sexiest woman I've ever met in my life, holy fuck." I confessed, half scared and half in awe of her raw intensity. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little afraid of you but I'm also afraid of looking away from your beautiful body, and what I want it to do to me."