The Everheart Letters

If, however, things do not work out between Mrs. Quiverful and the above-mentioned pastor, Mrs. Quiverful is open to resuming her availability for said booty calls from you and will advise you if that is the case by further correspondence from this office.

Sincerely,

Andrew Cheetum

Attorney at Law

LETTER NUMBER 7 -- TROUBLE AT THE APARTMENT

John Abernathy

Apartment Manager

Excelsior Apartment

5896 North Madison Street

Everheart, ND

Dear Mr. Abernathy:

I am writing to you as our apartment manager to complain about my next door neighbor, Fred Wilkins. Mr. Wilkins lives in Apartment 202, the one right next to mine, and his behavior of late has become irresponsible and reprehensible. It is time for management to take some action.

The patios of my apartment and that of Mr. Wilkins adjoin. There is a wall between them, but Mr. Wilkins is a tall man and can easily peer over the wall. I am a large-breasted woman. At certain times it is necessary for a woman endowed as I am to let her breasts experience the proven health benefits of sunshine and fresh air. On several occasions when I have been sunbathing with my breasts exposed, Mr. Fred Wilkins has peeked over the wall between our patios and said things like, "Hey, Betty, nice tits." This is highly offensive to me.

Mr. Wilkins often has his brother, Evan Wilkins, over to visit. Last month Fred Williams and his brother both looked over the wall between our patios. I was not sunbathing, but instead, watering my plants and Fred said to me, "Hey Betty, show Evan your tits."

My nerves are not good. When I receive a sudden shock or experience a traumatic event, I freeze up and act in unpredictable ways. I was very shocked and flustered by Fred's rude request, and, in my confusion, I guess I did what he asked and showed Fred and Evan my breasts.

Next thing you know, the brothers are looking over the fence every day, having me hop up and down topless so they can see my breasts bounce and jiggle. But it didn't stop there. One day Fred said, "Hey Betty, pull down your pants," but that is where I drew the line and no matter what they may tell you, I only pulled down my pants for them a couple of times -- or maybe three -- but no more than five times.

You may consider these events as playful hijinks between friendly neighbors, but one day it turned bad -- really, really bad. I asked Mr. Fred Wilkins to come to my apartment to help me hang some pictures. While he was doing the work, I decided to take a shower. As I came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, to go to my bedroom and get dressed, Mr. Wilkins was waiting for me. He snatched the towel away, leaving me stark naked in my living room, completely defenseless against his lascivious stares. He could see my breasts, my buttocks, and my vagina. When I tried to cover my nakedness with my hands, he touched me wherever I was uncovered and said that it wasn't nothing he hadn't already seen a hundred times, which was not true at all. It wasn't anywhere close to a hundred.

I ran into the bedroom and leaped on the bed to escape him, but I forgot to close the door behind me. He followed me into my bedroom, and I realized that he intended to have his way with me. To prevent that, I clamped both of my hands firmly over my vagina. It did not deter him. He sat down on the bed next to me and began fondling my breasts. When I took my hands off my vagina to stop him from touching my breasts, he touched me down there.

Then he said, "So Betty, you wanna fuck?" I was so panicked and flustered that although I said 'no, no no' in my mind, it came out of my mouth as "yes, please." Fred misconstrued my panicked utterance as permission to climb between my legs and do the dirty. I won't go into the disgusting details, but to make a long story short, he had his way with me in four different positions over a period of forty-five minutes.

When he had done nearly every nasty thing a man can do to a woman he rolled off me. I was terrified that he would rest up and do it again, so I devised an escape plan. He had my vaginal fluid on his penis and some semen on his testicles. I asked if he would like me to clean all that off and make him a grilled cheese sandwich. He said yes and, and after licking him clean, I escaped to the kitchen to make the sandwich and wash my own privates. I stayed with him while he ate the sandwich, and I kept my hand on his penis so I could run from the room if it started to get hard again, but it didn't. He put on his clothes, left the bedroom, and my ordeal was over..

Since that day Fred has not been back. No phone calls, no apologies, no flowers. He used me like a hunk of warm meat to satisfy his manly urges, and left me with nothing but soreness between my legs and disturbing dreams. I believe this sort of behavior is beyond unacceptable. Unless he is willing to come over to my apartment and apologize, on a recurring basis, Fred should receive a firm reprimand from the apartment managers.

Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Yours Truly

Betty Tootittie

LETTER NUMBER 8 -- A POLICE ENCOUNTER

Everheart Police Department

2568 S. Eston Street

Everheart, ND

Dear Everheart Police Department:

My name is Ann Spanker. I am writing this letter of commendation to tell you about Officer Wiley Johnson and his excellent police work last Thursday afternoon.

I was driving my car a little too fast on one of the deserted farm roads south of Everheart last Thursday when I was pulled over by Officer Johnson. The first thing I noticed was how crisp and professional Officer Johnson was as he approached my car. His uniform was perfectly fitted and it was clear that he worked out. Although he had to advise me I had been speeding, he couldn't have been kinder or more respectful, which was very important considering I was a lady alone on a deserted road far from town.

Officer Johnson explained that it was police procedure that I would need to get out of the car and be searched for weapons or contraband. I know how dangerous the world is these days, and understood completely. He placed me in front of my car with my palms on the hood and my legs apart. The search that followed was one of the gentlest and most thorough searches I could ever imagine.

His kind voice calmed my concerns as he told me regulations required him to loosen my bra a little so that he could search my chest area. He explained the procedure so well that when he finally did it and cupped my bare breasts in his big strong hands, I felt no trepidation whatsoever. His slow skillful handling of my breasts in search of contraband left me breathless but also prepared for the rest of the search.

For my lower body, he started at my ankles and, never hurrying, ran his hands up both sides of each leg. He gently but firmly patted my hips and buttocks, so no contraband would escape his firm masculine touch.

When he reached that intimate area between my thighs he could not have been more tender, considerate and meticulous. He took the time for an in-depth search. He masterfully guided my hips into a position where he could probe the furthest reaches of those damp cavities that might conceal weapons or drugs. Today, just thinking of his proficiency and thoroughness makes me tremble again like I did that day.

To my disappointment, the body search came to an end. He explained to me that by speeding I had been a bad bad girl, and that I would have to be punished. He told me about how mean the local judge was and that there would probably be a hefty fine, but when I inquired about other ways I might pay my debt to society he couldn't have been more helpful

He explained that pretty ladies like myself were sometimes permitted to work off their fines by doing impromptu community service -- servicing the needs of the overworked and overstressed Everheart police. I told him I was very very interested in that option. He then allowed me to lift my dress and do my community service right there on the hood of the car. As I lay there on my back in the afternoon sun, he administered the punishment I so justly deserved. He did not let me off easy, either. No sir. He is very fit and took his time, not like my current boyfriend who is done in two minutes. Under his slow and rhythmic chastisement, I experienced three times an overwhelming and intense appreciation of what I had done wrong.

So I write this letter to commend Officer Johnson for his kindness, professionalism, and skill in both enforcing the law and dealing out appropriate justice to a lonely woman who made a mistake on a dusty back road. It is public servants like Officer Johnson who make Everheart such a fine community in which to live.

So please make this letter a part of Officer Johnson's file and communicate to him that I will be driving that same road every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon between 2:00 P.M. and 3:00 P.M. until such time as we meet again.

Sincerely,

Ann Spanker

LETTER NUMBER 9 -- THE SUMMER FUNDRAISER

Donna Getenny - Chairman

Women's Council for the Preservation of Everheart City Park

1145 E. West Street

Everheart, ND

Re: The Summer Fundraiser Problem

Dear Chairman Getenny:

You asked me to investigate and report to you about the unfortunate occurrences at this year's summer fundraiser for the preservation of Everheart City Park. This is my report and conclusions.

As you well know now, in the spring, Mona Lott made a powerful argument that the Council was losing out on significant funding by relying on pot luck donations, bake sales and car washes to raise funds for Everheart Park. She pointed out that one thing the women's council had in abundance was breasts. Every woman on the council had a pair, and we could raise more money faster with our breasts than with a plateful of cookies. Men who wouldn't open their wallets for a pulled pork sandwich or a pineapple upside down cake would be pulling out the bills like no tomorrow if it meant a chance to see a pair of tits.

So after much discussion, the Council decided to raise money through a booth at the Summer Solstice Festival in which we would show our breasts for donations.

Things went well at first. We rented and set up a medium sized tent in the park and put up a sign that told the good things the Council did for the park and then invited people into the tent to look at our tits for a donation of five dollars.

The tent opened at 11:00 A.M, along with all the other festival concessions. Mona was there. She has delightful tits and elicited smiles and cheers from the guys by hopping up and down and doing jumping jacks. Olga Swensen was there, and her big Swedish tits were particularly popular with the local farmers. As the line in front of the tent grew, more and more Council members decided they wanted their tits to be part of the event and started shedding their blouses. The thinking was, more tits, more money.

However, there was trouble brewing, caused partially by the box of wine that had been opened in the back of the tent to make it easier for our more modest members to lift their blouses. It seems that a few of the ladies, after hitting the wine pretty hard, decided that if tits could bring in money, perhaps their other womanly charms would bring in even more. Agnes Moorhead started it by lifting her skirt to reveal a thong so small that it left nothing to the imagination. This offended Lacy Bandover who claimed Agnes had broken the agreement that the show would be limited to tits and would not include butts and pussies. Agnes appealed to Helga Ogleson who was in charge of the concession. Helga ruled Agnes's thong was okay because it technically covered both Agnes's pussy crack and her asshole. This did not please Lacy who said if Agnes could wear a thong then Lacy was going to put on her see-through panties and really give the guys something to look at.

Helga went outside the tent to calm Lacy, and while they were talking, Mona let Ed Hegelson squeeze her boobies for ten dollars. Not to be out fundraised by Mona, Ginger Pach told Max Pounder that for a twenty dollar donation he could stick his hand down her pants.

When Helga came back from calming down Lucy, she found most of the ladies having their tits bounced, patted, fondled, and pinched. Max had Ginger pinned against a tent pole with a hand down the front of her panties while the two of them sucked face. Two of the ladies, ignoring all the rules, were stark naked dancing on the donation table and taking turns trying to pick up dollar bills with their buttocks.

Helga did her best to return things to order, but the pussy was out of the bag, so to speak. News of what has happening spread throughout the festival, causing a rush toward the tent. A fight started between two farmers trying to push their way in and then the police arrived..

Officer Johnson from the Everheart Police Department had to fire a warning shot in order to bring some order to the park. He closed down the tent, ordered the ladies to get dressed and go home. He was about to write us a citation, but Freeda Allmen saved the day by offering to take him out back and give him a blow job. The way it went down with Freeda and Officer Johnson suggested to many of the onlookers that Freeda had some prior experience with Officer Johnson's johnson. But whether that is true or not, Frida deserves credit for stepping up to the plate and taking a mouthful for the team. Her selfless commitment to the Council saved us a significant amount in fines and legal bills.

The upshot is that we raised more money than we ever have in a fundraising event, but we are also banned from future events for ten years. Mona Lott, who suggested the idea in the first place, has resigned from the council and is now working Wednesday nights at the Tits-N-Tacos strip club.

I think it will be possible for the Council to put all this behind us. After all that has happened it is unlikely we will be able to return to selling cookies, but Amy Spredenshowit was telling me how this lady up in Cando filled the rooms of the previously empty PTA meetings by sitting behind a table in a manner that let the audience see up her skirt. I was thinking maybe we could host a series of panel discussions featuring several of our members sitting at a table and discussing topics of local interest. We should put that on the agenda for our next meeting.

Yours Truly

Tina Tigbits

LETTER NUMBER 10 -- THE PERFECT GUY

Leona Grabankles

3214 E. West Street

Cando, ND

Dear Mother:

Mother, I just had to write you. I think I found the man for me. His name is Mike Abernathy. I am so excited.

I was standing in line at the Everheart Courthouse to pay a parking ticket when I started a conversation with this guy. He is good looking and has a job at the DMV, which means he is smart enough for a desk job. Anyway, he ended up asking me out to dinner at the Beef-N-Brew, and yesterday we had our first date.

When he picked me up at my front door and I saw that he was wearing a coat and tie and driving a regular car and not a pickup, I thought to myself that I had finally met a gentleman here in Everheart where I didn't think there were any. His car was all clean inside and I could smell the cologne that he'd put on for our date. I couldn't believe my good luck. I had makeup on and my little black party dress and the fancy panties I got from that lingerie shop in Minot..

When I got in the car he said that I looked really pretty. I said that I wasn't pretty at all, and he kept telling me I was pretty so I called his bluff and said I knew how to tell if he was lyin'. I put my hand down the front of his pants while he was driving and he wasn't lyin' at all 'cause he already had a half-boner. I told him I was sorry for doubting his words and then I got all blushy and embarrassed 'cause I knew he really did think I was pretty.

Since I had my hand in his pants anyway and he was so handsome, I jerked him all the way hard which gave me a chance to check out his weapon. His full boner was so nice in my hand, that I got all wet down south. I just had to have a taste so I went down on him there in the car. He came in my mouth just as we pulled into the parking lot in front of the restaurant, and, you won't believe it, but his stuff tasted just like the Campbell's cream of mushroom soup we put in our green bean casserole during the holidays.

The Beef-N-Brew is a high class place, not at all like Fred's Drive-in or Arby's. There is a girl who takes your coat and a guy who escorts you to your table. I din't have no coat to give the girl, so I slid my good panties out from underneath my dress and gave them to her to take care of while we ate. She wrinkled up her nose all snitty like she is too good to touch them and made some comment about how I should do a better job of wiping the cum off my face before coming into a nice restaurant. I thought about kicking her skinny ass, but instead I walked away like a lady. You would have been proud of me.

This guy in a suit shows us to a booth and we sit down next to each other on the same side and not on opposite sides like old people. Mike says I should order the surf and turf where you get a steak with two fried shrimp on top which says to me he don't care at all what it costs, so that's what I order.

We talk and he tells me how his uncle got him the job at the DMV and now he can afford an apartment all on his own with no roommates or relatives to help pay the rent. I tell him about my job at the Dollar Store and how I am in charge of all the paper products on aisle seven.

The restaurant is all romantic and when we look out the window together we can see the lights from Jimmy's gas station shining in the dark. At one point I leaned across him to get a better look and he feels up my tit, so after that I take his hand and put it on my pussy under the table. By the time the food comes, he's been fingering me for a while and I'm getting blushed and sweaty the way the girls in our family do. Just when I taste the fried shrimp that comes with my steak he hits my love button just right and I start shaking and spazzing in the hardest, longest cum I've had since that time behind the barn with Billy Andreson when I was just a girl.

I'd barely quit shaking, when the guy who showed us our seats comes over and says the other diners have been complaining about me 'cause of all the noise I been making and 'cause even though we tried to hide it they can see what we were doing under the table. Mike doesn't start a fight with the guy or nothing but says that we will be leaving and respectfully escorts me out of there like I was Cinderella and he was the prince. I didn't even bother to pick up my panties from the girl. She can have 'em.

We decide to go back to his apartment but first he shows his love for me under the stars in the parking lot on the hood of his car. It was one of the most romantic things I ever done. Then we go back to his apartment where he took me to the bedroom for a bounce on my belly. Before the night was over we done the deed four times. On my back with feet in the air, me on top, up against a wall, and, of course, doggie.

Finally, Mike's dick was not gonna get hard again and my crotch was starting to get sore, so we called it a night. He drove me home, where he walked me to the door, and there under the porch light he took me in his arms, squeezed tight and gave me a beautiful long kiss.

Mom, it was the most romantic night ever. And you won't believe it, but the next day he sent over a man with a bunch of flowers and a nice note about how much he enjoyed fucking me. So you can call me smitten. You told me if I was a good girl and didn't act like no slut, then a good man would come along, and you was right. If it weren't for all the good advice you done gave me, it never would have happened.