All Comments on 'The Exact Moment...'

Had to quit reading

No sympathy for him

Knows he had a problem years ago but didn't do anything about it

Mary has to rank in the top ten 'Loving Wives' selfish bitches of all time. To allow their daughter to hate the loving father just so she (Mary) doesn't come off as the bad guy has to be the cruelest of cruel actions.

Your sympathy is with Jimmy but he's a wimp ! His wife loves him more every day but doesn't hesitate to fuck him over! In his daughter's eyes, he's the villain of the plot and his loving wife does nothing to disabuse her of this belief , because it shows her up as a whore. Jimmy ends up with a nothing life, while his Ex merrily starts afresh. Well??

I've read this story like,,,7 or 8 times. And each time it challenges my thinking and perspective- and it finally dawned on me; ANYTIME anyone is pushed out of their comfort zone they become unpredictable. Other stories on "Literotica" do the same thing. I seldom remember the stories name yet I after the first few sentences "Oh it's that one" and I can remember the entire story line. There's one story about a middle aged female who chases a younger man. The cucked husband goes "bezerk" (her word) on his revenge and payback because for 20 plus years he had been "steady, boring and reliable" and she compared him to her lover who "threw her on the bed and ravaged her". So reading these stories helps MY writing.

And for those of you who don't have the guts to get at least a free account? You cowards are known as "anonymous"? Screw you- you read it, you write it, you own it- and only cowards don't have the personal integrity to have at least a free account.

The thing I would of done is remove the problems in the first two minutes. A hammer is way too nice. 5.

If this writing is indicative of your outlook on marraige and life, then get thyself to a shrink immediately if not sooner. You need serious help dude.

You had to ruine the ending with that epilogue. Thank God their are better writers on this site who know how to put a Story together.

Got revenge? Check

Threw the whore out? Check

Made a point that the bastard shouldn't ever think of fucking him over or threatening his family again? Triple Check

But....he willingly cut himself out of his daughter's fucking life, the daughter who he'd kill to protect from a predator,

Seriously, you fucked up and this story sucks more than a fucking pornstar

Just for that, one star

What are you doing? Don't you realize that the norm is to spell out a scenario based wholely on hatred and rage? I find it confusing when somebody gives a plausible alternate narrative. Are you sure this is what you want to do? After all the Navy Seal, hidden fortune/lottery, friends with the mob sort of thing is always available. Just saying...

I know the spelling in most of these stories is pathetic but spelling the word woe "whoa" as in getting a horse to stop is right up there! Almost as bad as this wimpy story.

This was a good story up to the end. No way should be have let the whore lie to his daughter just to save her ass. That should have been his last payback. If the new fiance didn't like it, then he still had his hammer.

I'd like this to continue at an informal family dinner several days before the wedding. Mary's boyfriend, Scott, tells Cindy's fiancé about recently having met Jimmy, no conversation, just Mary introducing them, and then as Jimmy started walking her back to where Scott was waiting, Scott overheard Jimmy say he knew that Cindy hated him, Mary say that she never had told Cindy what really happened and then a bit later exclaiming about the “$15,000” in the envelope Jimmy gave her to give to the couple as a wedding gift. Scott wonders aloud to Fiancé why Cindy has nothing to do with her father and further comments on a father's not only being denied giving away his daughter, but not even being invited to her wedding.

[Fiancé and Cindy broke up three years ago, one issue being Cindy's cutting her father from her life after having always spoken of how close they were. Her unexplained behavior rang warning bells in the young man's head about her possible treatment of him down the line. Especially bothered by her refusing to talk with her father and continuing to accept her mother's non-explanation, he walked away. A year ago they renewed the relationship.] Fiancé tells Scott about Jimmy's sending $5,000 for Cindy and him to go on a trip and Cindy's later accusing her father of doing that so she wouldn't be around when he kicked her mother out. He also tells about Jimmy's entrusting Cindy's care to him, telling him to be on the lookout for a man he described, and saying that the man had nothing to do with the split. Fiancé says that Cindy's rejection of her father is a growing issue as the wedding date approaches. Scott suggests a short out-of-state trip.

Fiancé phones, introduces himself to Jimmy who tells him that the threat to his daughter is no longer imminent and congratulates him on the coming marriage. Fiancé tells Jimmy that he and Scott are in town looking to pick him up for some casual pre-marriage male bonding, in short, dinner and drinks. While on the first drink, Fiancé discloses his concern with the ongoing issue of Cindy's refusing to speak with her father and accepting non-information from her mother. Scott tells that, hoping to ease the bride into gracefully accepting it, he informed Fiancé of having overheard Mary exclaim over the couple's $15,000 cash wedding gift. Through dinner and a couple more drinks Jimmy realizes that Mary didn't discuss the gift with Scott and tells the real amount, $20,000, that the man who threatened Cindy is dead and that the money originally was to be used to insure that he would end up that way in order to protect Cindy if anything happened to Jimmy.

While in the washroom, Jimmy decides that it's time to tell Cindy and her Fiancé what lead to the divorce but without Scott because he seems a good guy, and Jimmy doesn't want to cause a problem between him and Mary. Meanwhile, Scott and Fiancé talk, and both want to know what the now dead guy threatened and why Cindy but not Mary needed protecting. Jimmy returns, and Fiancé tells him that Cindy's a grown woman and that both she and their future as husband and wife need the whole story. Scott says, based on overhearing Mary say she never told Cindy what happened, he agrees with Fiancé: it's time for the truth. The issue for Jimmy is whether to tell the men now and Cindy later, or let Fiancé soften the telling to Cindy – they agree on the latter.

For Jimmy, the hardest part was the beginning, no words for his hurt when, moments after his wife told him that she had been having an affair for two months, he realized that the man coming from the bathroom was her lover and that she had moved him into the house with them. He explained his refusing to participate in Mary's have-her-cake-and-eat-it-too plan, what Donny revealed at the bar and his threat against CIndy, also what the bouncer told Jimmy had happened afterward in the bar. He told them how strongly Mary reacted to his withdrawing the money and her threatening to take every cent of his money if he tried to divorce her, her determination that they “weren't going to break up over this.” By the time dinner was over, the three men had long since stopped sipping their drinks, the two listeners kept sharing looks of disbelief, total shock. Scott said he knew now why Mary had kept the story to herself, Fiancé said he understood why Jimmy had kept it from Cindy. Jimmy finished by telling them what Mary had told him outside of her and Scott's place: “I let her hate you, so she wouldn't hate me.”

They have a room for him at the hotel and will get him back home after the wedding: he's been invited. Mary of course remembers that the amount withdrawn was $25,000 and probably feels that half that money is hers, so maybe she gives the couple a wedding gift of $10,000, and a couple of truths come out at the wedding. That's where my “epilogue” ends. Does Cindy seek her father's forgiveness, does he give her away, does his healing finally start after going so long with open wounds?

I think the comments you’ve gotten should all be viewed as complimentary. You’ve successfully woven a story with characacters that we all so invested in that there are strong emotions if things don’t go our way. Very well written..

I agree with many of the commenters his letting the daughter think he is the bad guy ruined the story. I realize you were going for the martyr rising above, taking the hit thing, but it ruined the story. It's the same thing the really poorly made Hong Kong martial arts movie thing with the ever humble martial arts master acting all humble shit. But those were shitty poorly made comical movies. Plus the reason that could work is because in the end everyone saw that he is actually the good guy, so his humble move made him look better. Only way it would have worked in this story, and could have been a touching moment, if he did the humble move, but the daughter somehow found out what happened and came crying to him and they hugged and went out into the sunset.

He didn't need to really make the wife look bad. Could have said your mom seemed to have issues with me and ended up cheating on me and I decided to divorce her. It's between us. Nuff said.

For all you haters (really? haters? aren't you hating right now? guess this applies to you)

1)Since you don't have the balls to get a free account with your name, then your opinion means nothing. (A free account that has ZERO value in linking you to your real info. Tell me..."big balls" do you feel tough being anonymous...with more steps? lul)

2)In fact, your opinion means less than nothing- other than you're bug shit on the windshield of life. (sounds like somebody needs a naaapppy. cry some more anon name bitch tits)

3)The hero had already broken the law; had already lost his wife, his life was already a shit sandwich with nowhere near enough bread to make it passable. This means compromises- and compromises means not everyone get's what they want. She didn't want a divorce; he didn't want to share his wife. So the issue was met somewhere in the middle. (I actually liked the story, anon-kun. so sammy boy...can i call you silky smooth bitch tits? great. now you know sperging out and raging in the comments being all bitch-made won't actually make people....agree with you....care about you. but we will...laugh at you......goad you....and point out what a hypocryte you are...after all.....being a name-fag doesn't ACTUALLY matter. you are still very much anonymous. but ...i feel bad for you. some of my irl friends have aspergers like you....i want you to leave the internet more aware of how funny and dumb and fake you come off.)

1)Since you don't have the balls to get a free account with your name, then your opinion means nothing.

2)In fact, your opinion means less than nothing- other than you're bug shit on the windshield of life.

3)The hero had already broken the law; had already lost his wife, his life was already a shit sandwich with nowhere near enough bread to make it passable. This means compromises- and compromises means not everyone get's what they want. She didn't want a divorce; he didn't want to share his wife. So the issue was met somewhere in the middle.

What the fuck is it about a lot of these stories where the even adult children aren't told the truth. That's beyond stupid.

He was pathetic throughout the story. Finally manned up at the end, but only because he loved his daughter. Then he chooses to lose all contact with his daughter rather than expose his wife's actions. That's just stupid and ruined the story, IMHO.

TWO stars because one doesn't register.

And yet you post shit like this. Everything he did, drastic or not, he did for his daughter. To have this happen was a fucking joke. 1* for his daughter hating his guts at the end

You think he is less a cuckold because he had an eruption of violence??!! Stupid! Your protagonist didnt stand up against the slut and tell the daughter what a whore her mother is!!

First, he lets his wife bring some guy into his home and doesn't do anything about it? And then, after he finally does something and exacts his revenge, he loses his daughter's love because he won't tell her that her mother cheated? This guy's too stupid to live. I hate stupid guys. 3.

boyfriend should run given she's the kind of girl to pass judgment without all the facts.

An fine written tale of a lost man with no self worth. Shit on by everyone he blindly walks through life while texting (missing everything). Well written, looking forward to your next one

How disappointing. The cheating whore moved on and the daughter thinks its the fathers fault for all the problems. What kind of an ending is that? Change this to the exact moment the story began to suck.

Fuck

Parents are divorcing, daughter is an adult, why the hell would the father not just level with a grown up in a grown up fashion? "Honey, you're mom is a complete slut. She's got some guy living in our house and fucking him under our roof." Then let the chips fall where they may. There is no reason for him to have to bear the brunt of the daughters anger for something he is not responsible for.

Why do the two or three guys writing this stuff feel they should always make a point of the wronged against spouse not telling adult children that the cheating spouse is just that, a lying, cheating, piece of shit adulterer who disrespected their marriage vows for their own selfish desires.

It was a well written story, I just didn't like the storyline, the idea of the story. The idea that a wife could just bring her lover into the family home and expect her husband to accept that is so repugnant to me that it almost makes me crazy. I mean what sane man would put up with that kind of shit? Granted, the guy finally gets it together towards the end, but Jiminy effing Cricket. He's about a day late and a dollar short.

He should have just beaten the guy bloody the first thing, and put a stop to all that bullshit quick.

The protagonist is not very likeable as other comments have mentioned. In short stories especially I always enjoy the good person winning and the evildoers getting their comeuppance. This story presented a protagonist that wasn't very likeable at all. The author initially presented a protagonist that was completely passive then as the story went near completion the protagonist sprouted into a very aggressive violent maniacal demon. If the story were longer and a gradual shift in the protagonist's behavior evolved in reaction to circumstances it may have been more acceptable. The ending results may have been the same for the wife but for a constant in your face cheating , humiliation and disrespect tainted the protagonist for his lack of reactions. At some point as a reader, there was no redemption for the protagonist. Thanks for the effort.

Your narrator is repugnant. I hate him. I don't want him to win. I want him to lose. He goes from extreme passivity, which makes me not like him, to extreme crazy evil, which makes me hate him. If the change was interesting, that would be one thing, but it isn't. I think what you have done is to come up with a concept for a story. Actually it's more of a fetish niche. That isn't the basis for a good story, because there is nothing human about it. Nothing real.

The bitch continued to betray him in the end because she didn't their daughter to hate her and the things she had done. Even now she is still a low life and he is an idiot. Why should he lose the love of his daughter did that bitch?

He was way too nice

it was funny and it was strange.

I liked it

The last line about the new boyfriend being smarter than him...hell, a coat hanger would be smarter than him. To subject himself to a life without the daughter he claims to love so much just so she wouldn't be subjected to the truth makes absolutely no sense. Unless the loves her so much line was just a throw away lie. I mean he leaves her unaware in close proximity to someone who put her life in danger through her poor choice of associations. Maybe our hero intended for his ex-wife to find someone who would actually carry through on his threats and rape and kill the daughter thereby getting her out of his life for good. Yeah!! Maybe we just didn't see the whole picture. That actually makes more sense than the drivel you've just subjected us to. This is truly a story that rates a 1 if any story ever did.

The level of faggot cuckoldry was off the scale. No man who did't fancy the idea of sucking some dick woud allow the man fucking his wife to move into the house and take over his duties as the man of the house. No, the guy in the restaaurant with the steak knife is more representative of the American male. Kill the bastard and let the chips fall where they may.

The husband doens't like liars? Well why does he lie to his own daughter. Not telling the truth is the same as lying and to allow her to believe her mother is a saint is nothing more than a bald faced lie. Does he not love and cherish her? Why allow himself to be excluded from her life to protect his slut wife's feelings makes no sense. Who writes this shit that has a guy flagellating himself when some whore bag screws him up. "I was more than fair", "split everything 50-50", "even though it was my house I gave it to her". Man, what piss poor excuse for men you portray.

He doesn't deserve to be the bad guy and miss his daughters wedding to protect the cheating wife. Mary should do the right thing and tell the truth before the wedding. Its the least she could do.

Why did you allow the daughter to think the worse of her father by not telling her he was protecting her and why. He should have to tell the daughter the truth or he would. Otherwise it was a good story. We all have a breaking point..

To quote Forrest Gump: " stupid is as stupid does".

I don't get this trope of "protecting the children from the harsh truth". WTF? Almost all the Lit LW authors swear by it and it's the most pansy-assed way of dealing with a complicated plot point. Apparently these "truth hiders" love their children so much that they are willing to lose their children to protect them from the pain of their parents separating. Where's the logic in that?

and he did it at the cost of his own living. TK U MLJ LV NV

He was a 'big time' cuckold to the point that I was hollering at the story. I absolutely detested the character for being such a pussy. I can't believe he put up with her cheating and then bringing the fucker home to live. A gas leak in the middle of the night and an explosion while she was fucking the asshole would have solved his problem. It would have saved him $20,000 to have them both 'removed'. And as far as not telling his daughter about her mothers 'fuck fest', if he loved her as much as he did, he should have told her everything. Let his cheating wife explain her side. Lying about the truth doesn't help anyone. By not saying anything, his wife won in the end. They were only people left who knew the truth and apparently she wasn't talking. So for all the love he had for the daughter, she would hate him for the rest of his life. Pretty shitty.

Because of that stupid fucking cliche of never telling the children why they got divorced.

The writing is fine but a story about stupid people one would not give the time of day. Occasionally I read a story and I am torn between two thoughts, one is that the characters are not credible they are too stupid, the other thought is truth is stranger than fiction and that people such as these could exist.

This story was mostly sad and bad. I gave it 3 stars, but after reflection it should have been 1.

I have heard those words at least three times. Each time ending in me looking for residence elsewhere. Now, if I hear those words, I pull out my gun and lay it on the table in front of me. 'We need to talk', 'It's not what it seems', and 'I didn't love him. It was just sex' are all phrases women need to remove from their thoughts. They are suicidal. A lot of people will think that Jimmy and Mary should have got back together. I don't. This is the way I would, and have ended relationships after my wife or significant other murdered the relationship. Good story.

"she asked to me to sit and that we needed to talk"

Nothing good ever comes to a husband whose wife says this.

I enjoyed the story. I went to it right after "What Carmine Says" because I liked it for the same reasons, plenty of conflict, confrontation, and retribution.

I do though suggest you do use an editor, or at least read over the story carefully several times because you had too many word errors. Because I gave a story that should be 5 only 4 *'s. (And notice, I don't hide behind an "Anonymous" moniker.)

So fuck off this is a great story! gave it a 5

you are more stupid than your characters. nothing of this crap makes any sense at all, it's just plain idiotic. go post your shit somewhere else, you wimp.

Sorry, just three stars.

The fact that he lets her make everyone around them think he's the bad guy? No fly. No one does this. Literally no one. Why would people want to be thought of as the one who fucked things up in a marriage? Seriously. This is bullshit.

I didn't like the story from start to finish. It was ridiculously unbelievable. I am not attacking the way it was written or the natural progression of events. Sorry, I felt I was being charitable giving it one star. The only character I would not throw darts at, was the bouncer.Enough said.

Even if i don't like how this particular offering ended, it is a kinda recent entry. I have liked some of your other stories, but the ending to this one really didn't do it for me. Especially since she made him shoulder all of the hate and essentially stole his daughter from him. Can't handle that. He is a stronger person than me.

..somehow his fainting out on her revelation seems too far out of this world to be believable. Why do writers always stick to the procedure of husband either fainting, crying or getting drunk? The guy destroying my marriage is upstairs, flushing the toilet - and I faint? No bloody way. Most husbands would grab what is needed and be up the stairs within a second. Ok - not every Clark Kent is a superman...but not every man is Clark Kent, either. What´s a wife or a marriage worth to those writers?

I believe in the truth. His daughter should have been told. Instead of having a good influence in her life she has a cheating whore as her only parent. Bad idea. "Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie!" Almost a good story.

The husband got the short end of the stick, his wife got a new and decent life, his daughter lost her father and the bad guy was only injured. Sure, he did die, but not as a result of what he did to the husband and his family. Quite honestly the husband should have grown a set of balls the second his cheating slut of a whore wife told him she was screwing around on him. Divorce, or just taking all the money and leaving...he'll, it's not for everyone but buying a street corner gun and shooting both of them while making it look like the bastard shot her as he wrestled him for the gun. It just sucks that the husband ended up the one who got the worst screwing in this story.

it's got to be bad. Will keep moving on.

than comments about spelling, grammar, character development, and the story arc. The visceral response is telling and tells the author just how a story is received and gives great insight about the success or failure of a story.

You will know a whole lot more about how well you did if you do pay attention to the comments of those who are upset or even downright vitriolic.

Just my two cents.

Should probably have been "woe" is me.

When you got to the warehouse, you "threw" him to the ground (just the wrong tense in that case).

"You are a smarter man THAN me, Scott."

Other than that, this is pretty well written and self-edited. Please give no attention to people who complain about subject matter. Generally they are commenting about how they FEEL about your story. I've always believed if you don't like a story don't read it. Plus the plot "gimmick" of the family heirloom hammer was a nice touch.

The only thing I didn't like, was the fact that I'll never be able to write anything this good.

Basically it says that you ca'nt trust anyone and that you have to watch your back which is no fun after 20 years.

Somewhere along the line, she'll tell her Daughter the real truth about her dad, Because it'll gnaw inside her until she does. Irregardless, she still loves her ex husband. It's why she hasn't remarried. why the guy she's with is a Boyfriend. as in the movie Anger Management, Wimps only go so far and suddenly stop being wimps when certain buttons are pushed, in this case, the Button was his Daughter. I would like to see a sequel where they finally get back together. The reason his dates are one nighters is because he still loves her.

Finished page1 on Monday. Then the website failed. So didn't get to read the rest until Wednesday afternoon.

Gave you 3*s. Didn't connect with the protagonist. The story had one gimmick and that's it. Not any character development . Not a new solution . Pretty mundane actually. Firsttimeguy , you didn't deliver on a very nice title. But keep trying, thanks.

AMerryMan

I will never understand why there are so many LW stories like this one where the wronged husband never tells his kids what actually happened, even when the kids are already adults themselves. Hiding the truth from them is not protecting them. Nevertheless, this is creative, well written, and worth reading.

.....that our hero is the kind of man that won't stand up for himself until it's too late.

Did with his wife, then his daughter. Now he's alone and miserable and after all that, he hands $20,000 to his ex wife that let him be the bad guy through it all, to give to his daughter as a wedding gift? What does he think she'll do and say?

Here, honey, we just wanted you guys to get a good start. At least we love you, my boyfriend and I.

So....lame. But well written.

Ok, I get how he said he wasn't good at confrontations and it took him a really long time to hit the ceiling and finally stand up for himself, but once he did, why the HELL would he not tell his daughter why he'd thrown her mother out and tell HER to watch out for Donny, to watch out for herself? What if she and her boyfriend broke up and he was no longer there to watch out for her?

I read the story and I read the comments. Then I gave you a five.

Did I like the story? Did I like any of the characters? Did I like your solution? The answer is no to all three.

So what! It was more fun to read than most of the shit I or HDK have put up.

Keep writing. Edit more thoroughly. There are easy tricks to improve self editing. (Not that I ever use them.)

Yeah the wife was a selfish, worthless person. The husband was a spineless creep. Donny was who he was. The daughter should have been strangled.

If he really wants to protect his daughter then he should act so as to stay close to her. He ended up pushing her away. He also must have ended up lying to her, because she had to ask what caused the split. So he leaves his daughter under the influence of his whore wife, because he loves the daughter so much? Stupid. Also, knowing her dad as the wimp you described, the daughter would not believe that he threw her mother out without extreme provocation. And the daughter would know in a heart beat that her mother was lying to her. Also, the daughter would know that if either of the parents decided to cheat, it would be her mother. Always interesting that these stories have the couples existing in a vacuum. No mutual friends, no one sees Mom out with her fuck toy, Mom has no concerns about daughter eventually finding out, about getting an STD from the fuck toy? Just too many loose ends and logic failures. Why give the money to the wife instead of directly to the daughter? Its been over three years, and the daughter still hates her dad, for whatever the mother told her? And the Dad does not know what the daughter thinks of him, but he did all this to protect his daughter, leaving her totally under the influence of the immoral faithless soulless ex-wife. Again, just stupid and lame. The fact that its fiction does not mean the story doesn't have to make sense.

I appreciate your effort, and encourage you to try again, with more patience and logic. The rushed ending was evident; you seemed to be stuck with how to finish it.

I liked the story and on the other hand I thought it sucked. The ending was not too good.

good thing he divorced her. She said would always love him and here she is shacked up with another guy.

Lying trash.

the fucking daughter is grown, but you can't tell her, her mom is a slut. But you can be the bad guy and miss out on your kids life because of what the whore did. What kind of bullshit is that. The daughter didn't pick the mom over the dad, he was just to fucking stupid to tell her the truth. I gave the story a 4, because why let your only child think a falsehood. If he did all the shit he planned, but then he's to much of a pussy to let the daughter know her mom was a cheating slut. Manly has nothing to do with the wife being a whore, what made him less of a man, is what he did to his only child.

I like it......10...5ssss I mean.....bill

I think a lil reconciling between father n daughter woulda been good, good idea w drugging em both. And nice twist at the end, I thought he would take her back but still good read

This is too stupid for words. Stopped after a few paragraphs.

But the Epilogue pushed it up-very nice!

I have a problem with guys like this that would allow another man to live in their house-i would fuckin' go nuclear on the spot.

But the take flowed well, fairly quick read, and lived the epilogue.

Thx for your efforts!

You always want to protect your kids but the truth is the truth he could of given his wife a few days to tell their child but then he needed to tell her everything. His wife was nuts to think that anyone would go along with a crazy situation like that. Most would of attacked him that day and filed for divorce the next day. Or at the most waited it a out a few days tapering and recording as much of what was happening as he could to show his daughter. He loved his daughter but gave her up for nothing and his slut wife stays in her life while he is the bad guy. He should of sent his daughter a check his pig ex will make it like it's from her.

KILL ALL THE BITCHES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very good story, very well done. Good mix of everything.

I read a story: The wife left the husband for other man and the daughter was above 18 years old. The daughter only was in connection to her mother. She abandoned her father. The ex husband died in his sad loneliness. It was very sad story and I hate that story (That story had strong effect on me). I had a story idea in my head about that story. My all stories dael with the ex husbands find second or third mates (wives) after the cheater wives.............and my all future stories too......

BTB writers do not forget several times the lionpart of the revenge happens after years to the divorce.

and his ex is still a manipulative little bitch

lied to her daughter to make herself look good

what a useless cunt

he should have told her bf the truth, and fucked her happy little world up royally

The way he dealt with his ex-wife and her boyfriend then didn't tell his daughter.

After all he went through why would he let his daughter hate him?

Why was he protecting his cheating ex-wife's reputation at the expense off his own?

And then there is the ex-wife who loves him so much and wants to make it up to him so much that she allows his daughter to think it was his fault and hate him.

But apparently I like off the wall.

Great Story. As you can tell from the comments, most of these people wouldn't know humour if it came up and bit them on the arse.

"I am not going to go into a long winded diatribe about how we met and fell in love "- Thank you! I gave a good rating for this story, just because two pages weren't wasted telling how the couple first met.

In all fairness, I think some of the money Jimmy gave his daughter should have went to the guy who killed Donny.

As usual in the comments, Harry in VA gives a bad name to grumpy old men.

I very rarely read LW stories. Anyway, I was hooked until the end. I voted a 5. Good story telling. Do I believe a loving wife would move a boyfriend into the home she shares with her loving husband and expect the loving husband to accept it? No. :) But this is Lit. The boyfriend gets beaten up and threatened, and later dies from pulling his MO with another loving wife. The wife gets kicked out. The husband ends up in a one-BR apartment with his daughter hating him, thinking he's the one that screwed up. Sounds believable. At least the husband is free of the wife who screwed around on him. That is a good thing.

author look... there are 2 kinds of writers here in LW genre. Those that writer for themselves and those that actually WANT to become a better writer. You CLAIM to be the latter. If so what do these 64 comments tell you?

1. Nothing in this story works. ZERO.

2. JIMMY as the main character husband is a cluster fuck. You went for a flawed man weak man who because of the wife's cheating would change into James Bond. Instead Jimmy comes across as Pee-wee herman.

3 Having the exhusband accept the daughters mis directed rage for YEARS & YEARS while the wife pays No penalty KILLS this story... and make Jimmy into a wimp.

4. Jimmy IS wimp. Idiot authors like you think that if the husband beats up the

" other guy" that takes the wimp charge OFF the table. It doesnt.

5 Jimmy cannot be a changed man IF he goes back to letting his wife ride roughshod over him

4 if his his truly snapped WHY not tell the daughter?

A story where no one is innocent or really badly guilty, where everyone gets hurt except the woman who started it all and where, in the end, the whole thing just sort of fizzles out like a dud firecracker. It didn't end, it just stopped. Even the title really didn't make sense since the whole digression into the "exact moment" really doesn't play into the main action of the story. What can you say when the whole story is well written, with good vocabulary, proper English grammar and few spelling mistakes but at the end, the reader is left thinking, "Yeah, but why bother?" Why did you bother to write it and why did I bother to read it?

Didn't care much for the tale. James was a wimp too long. The writing was O.K. A few misspelled words or typos. Cheers!

Everyone was reprehensible. The circumstances were unbelievable. The results did not satisfy. Even after his balls dropped, he still let Donny and his wife walk all over him when he didn't explain what had happened to Cindy. Still, it's not a willing cuck story... 5 stars!

So just what did he get from his actions? Very unsatisfying story.

I can understand he was a calm man... What I don't understand is why he didn't told her in a calm voice: "You have 2 minutes to send him away, or you can go with him...". Then divorce her...Why to pass all that in his own house? 2*

so he got a pair of balls,kicks out the wife,then lets her make him the bad guy,and he ends up with nothing.The wife claims she loves him,but then takes away the daughter.Both the wife and this guy are unsympathetic,unlikable,which means the story is flat,not much to grasp onto at the end.The writing is good, but in the end it is a sad tale with little to recommend.

they are not cowards or wimps and I wonder how much of the 20K will arrive at his daughters, the real loser. TK U MLJ LV NV

Sure did change his spots. Self-described lifelong wimp who has panic attacks over simple arguments turns brutal and forceful. I read it and sort of enjoyed it, but that was too much of a stretch. .

I would have liked it a lot more and scored higher (in comments only) if he had looked at Scott and said " Look at what happened with me, learn from it and dump her fast and stay away, you will be set up and take a fall for something big for what ever lies ahead for her." Its true, she was selfish as they come. Not wanting to let their own daughter in on what happened and why? I feel that the character Jimmy was clearly made out to be a wimp, but parts clearly showed a different side to him once pushed. I feel that once the daughter was lied to by Mary, regardless if Mary is the mother, a line of respect has to be maintained and Jimmy (the father) place is by his daughters side at her wedding. After all whom will give her away? whom will speak for her when asked "whom gives this bride away to be married?" Just did not like the ending. but a 5 anyways in my book

Her suffering. No satisfaction for him leaves him as the idiot which he obviously is.

Many words but no story. A waste of the author's and reader's time.

You don't like negative comments but write stories like this......go figure.

What about this is wrong?t Perfect, wife still alive...lover steak knife killed ...daughter WTF.....she was a cunt.....better then the 6 cops from Baltimore arrested..... go USA

so I gave it a5 because of the story made everyone mad or sad. That's means it was good

There was no logical reason for him to keep what happened from her. If Mary had really loved him, she would have told Cindy the truth instead of poisoning her relationship with her father.

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It's odd. On the one hand you have him man up and get rid of Donny and Mary, but on the other had still seemed to want to keep making him a victim.

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I see you gave this the BTB tag, but in the end, he's really the one who got burned. "So I have a lousy job, crappy one bedroom and almost no love life." She, however, has a boyfriend and a good relationship with her daughter. She came out okay, but he didn't. Yeah, she really got burned.

This story did not entertain. If the protagonist is more miserable than my own life could ever be, then the story is of absolutely no value. Thanks for the effort of pissing off as many readers as possible dear author. You achieved your goal.

I know not all stories end with a happy ending but for the innocent to still suffer and the sinner winning , its just sad. For a guy to take so much and in the end proctected a daughter even at the cost of losing her over lie. His ex claiming love and in the end lies and never regretted . Like in the real world there are some that will never have justice , people wronged that no one will care.