All Comments on 'The Exact Moment...'

Damn good read. Nicely written. Liked your approach. It was, for lack of a better description, mildly amusing and a bit novel for a piece of sort-of erotica. I'm giving it 5 stars because it was a fun read.

I don't see any of the people in this story behaving in the way this author has written it. The husband, wife, boyfriend, even the Daughter... just ridiculous.

You need to write a 2nd chapter to show the daughters reaction when she finds out the truth about her whore of a mother

...except for the part where his relationship with his daughter went to shit. I am cool with it going to shit, but it should go to shit based on the truth.

Another chapter that shows the idiot finally telling the truth to her daughter...and the daughter frantically trying to find her ''daddy'' or better yet if it is the same boyfriend have him tell the truth, say at the wedding dinner. Now that would be...fitting.

I think the author had two rewrite the ending.

The father should lead his daughter up the aisle

The story of a man, handicapped by his childhood, who does the best that he can for his wife and daughter. She takes advantage of his weakness and betrays him repeatedly, with both the affair and their daughter. He can't handle confrontation so he will get the short end of the stick in perpetuity.

If you do write a 2nd chapter, please don't make it all happy ending.

I am on my smart phone reading this.

The story didn't make sense.

MCPO Jim

O K read. I really don't doubt that they're are people out there just like these. Personally, how he took so long is beyond me. That his wife was that nuts is hard to. I guess ''nutty'' best describes this. But, it did end o k. No way I wouldn't tell my daughter the truth though. give it a 3.

another chapter were truth comes out

love the revege man but come on man

nect you write manke sure that the guys gets a better woman and not this crap life man

It is time to stop writing. There is enough crap on the internet without you contributing more to it.. Not one single redeeming thing in this entire story...

Wife cheats wants two lovers . Husband grows some, kicks out lover . Divorces wife never tells daughter who blames him . She disowns him, marries and he is not invited 4 years later he give his wife 20 k and his wife smells good, while his life is in the crapper. This was so whacked it just doesn't make sense.

I know there are a lot of weird people out there, but this one beats them all.

It simply made no sense not to tell his Daughter what his wife did to cause their divorce. Why be the bad guy? The only person he "saved" by not telling his Daughter was the cheating slut. Not that this story was badly written, but it wasn't any fun to read since you basically tied an anchor around his neck and let him sink. A "3" for the writing. A "1" for the story.

wife fuck over hubby and wife do good and hubby do bad in the end.b/s

In terms of plot, strange and disturbing. Hubby seems to be a closet masochist. Credible that the wife would move on - I'm sure she blamed hubby for everything that happened to her. Disturbing ending.

the author needed another pair of eyes looking at this. My favorites were: 1. But then faith stepped in 2. Whoa is me

listen, why would you ruin your relationship with your daughter for no reason. i see this stupid shit on this site all the time. "oh, i love my kids but i will let them hate me just so they dont think bad about their whore for a mother" this fucking dumbass deserved having a shitty life. i got to remember to never read anything from this stupid fucking author again.

“I didn't realize this would hurt him this badly.”

What, is she an IDIOT? How much would SHE be hurt if he moved a girlfriend in?

And what’s she doing giving Donny her ass, I’m willing to bet Jimmy has never had her ass!

Lost a star for Jimmy being painted the bad guy. He should have told daughter EXACTLY why he sent her away, so that her mother's BOYFRIEND wouldn't rape her!

Liked the plot .... Sort of ....

Needs an editor. The plot line is a bit out of sync (timing of events).

Accepting to decisive to accepting. Does fit the title.

good story was interesting and was a good twist to it

I didn't like the story or the characters. I'm not a BTB at all cost but it seems the wife basically paid nothing for her betrayal. The scene in the warehouse was too late to enable me to have any feelings for the husband except contempt. He was left with nothing, not even the love of his daughter, and all because he wouldn't step up. Sorry, in spite of his change in attitude at the end to me he isn't much of a man. Just my opinion.

The story is well written and does show the talent of this author. I hope to read more of his work as he posts.

Woodmanone

seems kind of strange how he handled the whole thing. first he let her pretty much do whatever she wanted just as long as she left him to himself. but when the boyfriend got involved he kind of lost his mind for awhile. but then to have her not admit what happened to his daughter and let her think that he was the one in the wrong is so cruel on her part. she cut his daughter out of his life forever and that is not right.

Well written story and my only complaint is that you didn't really explain why the husband was willing to take the fall for the wife. It'd be one thing if it was just cheating but the asshole she picked threatened the daughter. To me, that used up all her credit.

Good story plot and it flowed smoothly. Good job. I enjoyed reading it.

Why go through all that trouble to kick her out, shield the daughter from the complete cluster f*(k created by the wife and her seducer, eliminate the predator, and clean up the mess, to have it end up a complete snafu?

The wife was kicked out of the house, Donny was gone, why let the wife have the higher ground? Why lose the relationship with the daughter?

Sorry, but the ending is totally messed up.

.

My apologies, I was writing in reference to an anon. comment and apparently other comments were posted in between. Again, my apologies.

...was a perfect example of why you should ignore most anon. comments. It just attacks the writer and has no relation to the story.

Author had hubby take all the blame to keep his daughter/mom relationship intact.

Wifey, acting in own best interests, also never tells daughter the truth -so wifey can look like good guy.

That keeps in with the story line of hubby changing character from wimp to action for his daughter benefit.

A good read, but tough ending

5*

Well, you did ask...

This story really belongs in the non-erotic section - there is nothing erotic about it though it is centred firmly in a love-triangle. Your comments got me to read to the end though...

Homophones - the bane of literotica and the spellchecker. Please check that the word you write is actually the one you mean. I spotted two nasty ones and they do spoil the story for the more precise of mind.

Overall this story failed to please on two levels - firstly it was not sexy at all and secondly, it was gritty, but insufficiently characterised to handle it. I cared little for Jimmy and nothing at all for Donny. The brief introduction does not cut it for this kind of writing, which has the potential to become quite a good novella, but in the shortened form is neither fish nor fowl. Another page or two of writing would have given the same information in a much more satisfying way and might perhaps have rounded out the people enough to make the grade.

I did like (and was surprised by) the ending/climax and the turn of events, which I found a refreshing change from what would be the usual fare on this site.

The epilogue was unnecessary and rather detracted from the story. This was not a happy-ending story and you did not need to close it out. Sure, it would have been colder, but then, I think, it would also have been a more powerful piece.

Sleeping tablets generally won't have that effect unless you use a lot more than two, but I did like how you got hold of them.

I hope you don't mind my rather longer than usual comment and the more thorough than usual takedown. In fairness, it was because you asked for constructive criticism, so here it is. When I finally pluck up the courage to pen something, you will, I trust, return the favour!

It's was a very enjoyable read. However from my perspective as a Reader, I feel there was no desert with this meal. Where as you writers see the picture before painting and might not get all colours to the canvas that you see in your mind, we readers only see what you paint. So we are always looking for payoff or redemtion for the hero at the end of a story. I know simple minds lol

how the guy let Donny move into his house. That was unreal. Everything that followed made no difference because the die had been cast. He let his wife move her lover into his home. That was very uncomfortable. Then he doesn't really get angry until the guy threatens his daughter?

2 star. I hate the whole shit with sparing the kids of their parents infidelities. Why should the father suffer for the adulterous mother?

people who read these stories and chose not to put a phony name out there you should concern yourself with your stories if you chose to write.The content of this story tell me your not very bright to begin with.

I really liked this! I know someone who has a nervous disorder like this guy, and it is horrible, but one day, he basically gave up on life and his nervous disorder was cured. I can see exactly the ending you wrote taking place because he doesn't care anymore. Maybe a bit of a downer ending, but in my opinion, it was very true to life! Great story!

...but a rather promissing story was killed by that (sorry) stupid and meaningless ending. Seems you have rushed through that final page, happy to getting it over with, rather than using the possibilities of connecting quite a few threats and thus giving the story a sensible conclusion.The way the protagist threw his wife out of the house could be discussed, but everything following was just (my impression!) filling in the gap What happened during the divorce? Why would a man who claims to love his daughter more than anything, allow this alienation instead of confronting her with all that had happened? 3* (could have been more)

"I am so sorry Jimmy. I never told her what really happened. I was so ashamed of myself and what I had done. I let her hate you so she wouldn't hate me." - Proof his wife never loved him!

Are you kidding me? Why not tell his daughter what a whore his wife was? Why lie and suffer for it? He was not doing his daughter or his future son in law a favor by leaving the whore there to guide them! Stupid decision. Stupid ending, purely to frustrate the reader!

Well that was something. Thanks for writing.

What a waste of fucking time! He loves his daughter so much he is willing to almost kill the bastard, but then because the slut doesn't want daughter dearest to hate HER the wimp allows the darling bitch of a daughter to HATE him instead. 1*

His wife did something horrible and continued to do it in his face to the point that she put the whole family in danger and caused his mind to snap. I don't like it that this new aggressiveness he possesses hasn't yielded him a better lot in life without his worse half. She didn't suffer at all, a punch to the face and a little fear maybe but her life picked up and she was able to move on as she was before. Its disheartening to see that his life got flushed down the crapper the day he came home and it never really resurfaced.

What else could he have done given the situation? If he had stayed with her they would just live in turmoil. Hes capable of being a monster that frightens her to the core and she is capable of fucking a man who gives her a few words of flattery. My only gripe with the ending would be that the daughter will forever hate the parent who protected her and will continue to love the parent who put the family in danger to begin with. If it was me I would have told her a long time ago, shes a grown woman and can handle the truth. 2/5

Let Donny dead or alive walk the little princess down the isle on her happy day. And 20 yr later find the truth about at what happen between her "who could do no wrong" mom and the "mean villain" dad. Wonder if she would talk to her father then.

"I never told her what really happened. I was so ashamed of myself and what I had done. I let her hate you so she wouldn't hate me." Now that's something a woman would really do.

This was ridiculous

For the read.