All Comments on 'The Exception Pt. 01'
by Crimson_Rivers
- 9 Comments
Tw0Cr0wsabout 8 years ago"It's not your status I condone, it's your lack of responsibility.
Condone means approve of.
From the rest of the sentence it does not seem that he approves of it.
Did you maybe mean condemn?
Crimson_Riversabout 8 years agoAuthorI dropped the ball there didn't I? Thanks for noting. I'll be fixing it soon. I genuinely thought those two words had similar meanings up till now.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoI was bored by page 4 partly because I didn't understand what the hell was happening. Stopped reading.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoIs part 2 coming soon? I hate getting into stories that take half a year between parts. I like the story but we do not even really know the plot yet. There is a back story that has not become clear yet.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoEnjoying the overall landscape, but puzzled about who is whom and doing what for what reasons. Guess you consider that suspenseful, or dramatic. I appreciate the effort. But remember, obscurity does not equal suspense, and confusion does not equal drama. And there is a bit of obscure and confusing behavior. Like, why is Jason just accepting that he owes somebody 2 million dollars, without asking the obvious questions and seeking the obvious assistance? Its kind of transparent when you make your characters act and do and say things just to further the plot, without those actions, or inaction, making any sense. Why is Jason fucking some Asian chick he hardly knows without concern of pregnancy, STD's, or later being accused of rape? Why can Jason be so assertive with Luka, and be such a passive wimp with Ivy? Oh, that's right, you need him to be that way for the plot to work. (Sigh) Ok, its your story. But it pains me to see you steer so close to intelligent drama and suspense, then drive off into the bushes of convenience and expediency, just to get some semi-plausible excuses in place to justify what happens next. You can do better than that.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoPlease don't take forever to publish the next segment. I and many other readers hate to wait weeks or months between segments.
