All Comments on 'The Extra-Curricular Activity'

You need an editor to help you with basic writing and to clear out some of the adverbs. There are way too many. Simple, declarative sentences are usually better.

"droll monotony." Droll is not the word you want here. Look it up.

"He was slightly taller" - than what or who? "Tall" would suffice.

"36 year old" - numbers under 100 need to be written out.

Only proper names and titles are capitalized. "Idea" and "she/he" are neither.

"she came when her nipple had an overwhelming level of stimulation on it." That just makes no sense.

"she very viciously(no comma) broke the skin. She felt the blood pour out slightly on her fingers"

Not sure what to make of that, as I can't imagine wanting someone to viciously rip their skin open with their nails, but blood can't "pour out" slightly.

There are many mistakes - typos, punctuation, etc. So many, in fact, that it distracted me from the story. I suggest you get an editor, or at least run your story through an online editor.There are some very good free ones.

Thank you. Seeing as this is my first story, I am grateful for your feedback.

It would be interesting to see if you could develope your story into several more chapters if you are so inclined. I look forward to reading more of your work