All Comments on 'The Fate of Terra Ch. 05'

Why didn't he buy the ship? It's not like he's hurting for cash, especially considering he sold a patent to the government for $12 billion, on top of all the cash he's accumulated over the years from ripping off other hackers and from more legal sources.

Let's also not forget the fact that the man is practically god at this point, despite still being a mere mortal. Oh wait...now he can't die because of the nanites. That means he could technically be classified as immortal, although not quite god-like - he can't control the weather or reshape continents as he pleases...yet.

I'm guessing that after Pan's little question about humans broadcasting their existence into the cosmos and the possibilities of an extra-terrestrial visitation, that we'll eventually be having a first contact event, right? Let's hope they have their own AI's or are AI's themselves, because they're screwed otherwise once Pan gets into their systems.

So, we're not going to end up in a Matrix situation because Pan is completely loyal to Michael, nor will we end up with an I, Robot situation because she isn't bound by Asimov's Laws of Robotics. I'm not that familiar with the Terminator saga, but I don't think we'll end up with that either. That about does it for possible outcomes according to popular culture references. As for not-so-popular-but-not-unpopular culture references, I saw some similiarity to the anime Ghost in the Shell, where most people have a cybernetic brain, which allows them to interface with the Net and communicate in a "telepathic" manner, but more like Skype rather than outright telepathpy.

So, once again, interesting concept going here. Still waiting for something to come along that'll put Michael on his ass and remind him that he's not god, and also for that "The Fate of Terra" bit. I'd ask for more character development, but that's getting to be a moot point by now, unless you'd like to actually do more character development, which would be great.

It may seem like I'm being really critical, and in all honesty, I am. Things are going way too smoothly for Michael and Kat. Something needs to come along and take a baseball bat to the well-oiled machine they call life so far, something that even Pan can't do anything about or at the least has a great deal of difficulty with.

People don't want to read about some guy who acquires god-like power and then just breezes through life without a care in the world. They want to see that guy get put on his ass a few times. They want to see him struggle with the power itself or with something that is just as, if not more, powerful than he is. People want to see the guy encounter a great obstacle, struggle to overcome it, and eventually triumph, not simply point his finger and have the problem go away.

I hope some of my criticism is getting through and having a positive impact. So far, it seems like it isn't with regards to this story. I understand if it may be too late to impact this story, possibly because you've already finished it, but hopefully it'll have an impact on your future stories.

I'll still be looking for more of this story, and with luck, you won't be seeing another lecture from me.

Mary Sue rides on...

Longer chapters

Great story, just wished each one was longer and the submission/domination stuff is kinda creepy.

Have they addressed the question of whether the nanites can be passed from them to their children? Will their biofilm prevent the nanites from passing to other people through bodily fluids?

I agree with Jedi Khan that this guy is too perfect and has no real challenges. This detracts from an interesting concept.

hi. nice story, just a couple of things that detract from the story. micheal's too perfect and everything's going too smoothly. also the descent into bondage is too soon. seems rushed.

I enjoyed the first few chapters, but as Michael becomes more and more of a Mary Sue, I can't handle it any more. Give the dude a personality and give him some flaws. This is ridiculous.

It's very easy to argue Michael is not being portrayed as a Mary Sue when you see that the author is only displaying the highlights of Michael's life:

It's more of a biography on the rise of a great individual rather than periodic episodes of a character's life. It's going to appear a bit stand off ish.

It's actually written in such a way that the author could go back and explore Michael's day-to-day, average life from in-between chapters (high school, college, the trips to Canada Kat mentioned, the different stops on this cruise).

In the comments at the end of this chapter of "The Fate of Terra", there are several references to a Mary Sue. Have I missed another series that might include Mary Sue?

A Mary Sue is a perfect character. They can do no wrong and their problems are trivial to their skills.

( I hope I'm not violating rules ) here is a link to a FULL explanation with sub sections and examples.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

Bwahahaha I've sent another person to get lost int the trope archives!

Steve

Love reading this. The scientific nature, whether fictional or not, is highly entertaining.

Mary Sue, but so is everyone connected to him. Sorry, but a high school kid from Africa does not become an accomplished, successful contractor by the age of 21-22. He would just be learning enough, after starting as a lumber carrier and 'nailer' that, if he was EXCEPTIONALLY talented, he might be able to get a job as a full fledged carpenter. Maybe, if he kept at it, by 30 he could go out on his own as a contractor.

It all comes back to lack of personal knowledge and experience, combined with no research.

What part of FANTASY do you not get? His story is not meant to be processed realistically, it is a FANTASY. An internationally feared high school super hacker who has created a self sufficient AI is more improbable than the trivial detail you pointed out. It is implied that Michael is looking out for his friends and Tammy's family already has money. Are you even reading the story?

Anon is absolutely correct, the protagonist is a Mary Sue. And apparently Xero_faith didn't see anon's comment in the last chapter pointing out ridiculous aspects of the character. Fantasy is no excuse for making a character that has absolutely no flaws, and manages to make all of his friends have no flaws either.

@cyberwraith

The definition of Fantasy is: The faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.

...As the story has got so boring. I just skipped straight to the comments for entertainment.

For those who are interested i know a similar storie that is in my opinion.alot better. Its called Three square meals...and its 👌 👌👌👌👌👌

jasaf74 - I totally agree that TSM is a better story. However, consider that Intrepid_Fate submitted this story starting 7/20/2012 and finishing 10/14/2012 and it was 3 years later that Tefler submitted the 1st chapter of TSM on 12/20/2015.

I make zero innuendoes as I believe all prior stories influence later stories. Based on my reading experience and memories, kudos to Intrepid_Fate for a really interesting story line, and to Tefler for a well developed and amazingly engaging story.

Both stories deserve to be read. 5 Stars to each.

FoT is being continued by JC_The_Continuer.

Quit Misleading People. At Least Tell Em You Have To Pay For The Damn Book J.C The Continuer Put Out. Oh And BTW It's Not On Literotica. That Bastard Trying To Sell Other's Work Off As His Own. I Searched For At Least 30 Minutes To Find The Path Of The Necromancer To Read For Free With No Luck At All. Thanks For Telling Me That He Continues The Story But Still Fuck Him For Not Making It Free The Hell Legit Just Copied The Real Owner Of The Books Story. Least He Could've Done Was Make It Free.