The First Ninety Days Ch. 05

"Yeah, but... What do I do once his... Stuff is in my mouth?"

Meredith shrugged. "You can spit it out if you want. Most men aren't too offended by that. You could swallow it, too, though. I know Brandon really likes that, and he says most men are the same. It's not harmful, it's mostly just protein."

Caitlyn felt her eyebrows climbing her forehead at uneven rates. "Yeah, but... That's his... Hisstuff."

"So?" said Brandon. "Jon licksyour stuff when he goes down on you."

Caitlyn had been trying to ignore that fact, but it was so. Jon went down on her, almost invariably, unless they were engaging in a quickie in the morning, and he seemed to enjoy it.She certainly enjoyed it.It would only be fair...

Meredith must have seen the expression on her face, because she said, "Caitlyn, no one's making you do anything. If you don't want to, I'm sure Jon will understand. I certainly wouldn't blame you; it's not my favorite thing to do in the world. But it's fun, in its own right, and Ireally like seeing what it does to Brandon. He says it's not quite the same as having sex with me—worse in some ways, but better in others." She smiled. "But it makes him happy—and that makes it worth it for me."

"Why do you think we do these things?" Brandon said, smiling. "I mean, most of it is fun, but eventually there's always something we do just because we know it'll make our lover happy—or maybe just roll their eyes back in their heads. And that's how we prove that giving is its own reward. Especially when our lover turns around and immediately does the thingthey only do becausewe like it."

"It's about compromise," said Meredith, "and it's about self-sacrifice. I remember the first time I was out at a mall by myself, and suddenly realized I couldn't just go buying things for no other reason but that I wanted to. I had Brandon to think about."

"When was that," Caitlyn asked, with an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach: a lot of her own expenditures could be described in just such a fashion.

"Oh, about two months after we started dating," said Meredith.

"'Compromise' and 'self-sacrifice' are very pretty words," said Brandon, "and obviously it's very easy to just sling them around beforehand. But when you get on the spot and it's time to actually put your money where your mouth is... Well, it's not easy. Don't feel bad. I'm sure Jon's having to make the same adjustments himself."

"It's not easy to just suddenly be half of an entity, when you once were a whole person by yourself," Meredith said.

"Though there are benefits," Caitlyn said.

"Though there are benefits," Meredith agreed. She gave Laurelyn one final pat and the infant gave a tiny belch.

There was a knocking on the door; then Christa stuck her head in. "We're heading down for the sound checks. If you guys wanna come along..."

Sound checks were an involved process, because there were eight singers in Octapella, and each one needed their own microphones. This was not an idle requirement; several of their songs, Caitlyn knew from Jon, broke into eight-part harmony, and balancing the voices would be impossible without one mike per singer. Under the dual guidance of Jon and Rod, the singers ran through several numbers, giving the harried sound engineer time to figure out the microphones. This venue, The Vault, was more of a bar or lounge than a concert venue; on the rare occasions when musical acts did take up residence, they were rock bands that rarely involved more than three or four separate sound feeds. Fortunately, the sound manager (actually named Harry) had served Octapella before, and was fairly used to their vocal characteristics.

"So, these goobers," said Brandon, gesturing at the eight on stage with his head. "Are they any good? Or did we come all the way from Mount Hill for nothing?"

"Brandon," said Meredith, reproving.

"No, seriously," said Brandon. "Remember that group that was here when we were freshmen? Something like, what, Choral, Choral..."

"Choral Pleasure."

"Choral Pleasure, right. It wasn't anything of the sort. There were a couple times when they wereso out of tune— More like Choral Sandpaper, if you ask me."

"Such a kind man I've married," Meredith murmured. "Yes, Laurelyn," she said, reaching over to the babe in Brandon's arms. "Avery kind daddy. Don't you think?"

Laurelyn gave a sleepy burble.

"Honestly, it's kind of too bad we couldn't be involved in something like this," said Brandon. "It looks fun."

"Yeah," said Caitlyn. She would've loved to get involved too, but she couldn't sing. Jon said that was ridiculous, that she could actually follow a tune and hold a pitch—but he also agreed that a group like Octapella needed a bit more vocal facility than that. Still, it would've been nice.

"Who's doing the arrangements," Brandon asked.

"Jon is, and Rod," said Caitlyn. "And I think Christa's working on some too, though both she and Jon say she's not quite the same level. They bought some online too."

Caitlyn had been working on something too, actually, in the very few spare moments she had. It was a little harder to do something in secret now that she was married, and it didn't help that her own ability at arranging were far below Jon's or even Christa's. She didn't even have the benefit of working with her native instruments; she had constantly had to ring up Nathan, and once even Meredith, with questions on vocal ranges and how to use each singer and what sort of things she shouldn't ask them to do because it wasn't physically possible. If Meredith had put two and two together, she gave no outward sign of it.

"There are any online?" Brandon said, surprised.

"Yeah," said Caitlyn. "There's jazz stuff lying around, and barbershop, and some of the other college groups are willing to sell copies of their arrangements. And you can always do, you know, 'real choir' stuff."

"What, like,Ode to Joy," Brandon asked.

"Well, maybe notthat level," said Caitlyn.

"Though you could probably make that work," Meredith said.

"Jon said something about Moses Hogan," Caitlyn said, "and some Gershwin."

"Right, Professor Chapman gave us some of those," Meredith agreed. "In the 'real choir'." She added quotes with her hand.

"So what are they singing tonight," Brandon asked.

"Christmas music, probably," Meredith said.

"I mean, whatspecifically," Brandon said.

Caitlyn shrugged. "Jon's been keeping it a secret." That wasn't actually true; she was pretty sure she knew the set list forwards and backwards. But she wanted it to be a surprise for the Chamberses.

Once the sound checks were done, Jon came down to sit with them, along with Zach and Christa, who immediately gravitated to Laurelyn. "Hellooo. Hellooo my widdle snoogy-woogy bear! Yes you is. Yes you is!"

Laurelyn cooed happily.

"Christa's getting her baby fix for the day," said Zach shamelessly.

"Zach," said Christa.

"I swear, she's been thinking about ditching The Pill and just getting one of her own," Zach said.

"Zach," said Christa. "My two best friends had a baby.Your two best friends had a baby. Don't tell me that doesn't affect you."

Zach turned to Brandon, utterly casual. "Sodja catch the game last night?"

"Naw," said Brandon. "I was in bed with my girl."

"Doing what?"

"Sleeping."

Caitlyn couldn't help herself. She said, "Is, um. Isthat what they're calling it nowadays?"

Everyone looked at her.

"Okay," said Jon, "who are you, and what have you done with my wife?"

"Hee," said Caitlyn, pleased with herself.

"So you folks ready?" Brandon asked Jon.

"As ready as we're gonna be," said Jon, "considering we're doing twice as much music as last year. 'course, we had a little more time to prepare."

"If you guys were planning to start at eight on the dot," Meredith said, "you started three minutes ago."

Jon glanced at his watch surprised. "Ahh... Give it a couple more minutes. Let some more people filter in."

"Are you guys still charging for attendance?" Meredith asked.

"Not today," said Jon.

"That never struck me as the smartest idea," Brandon said.

"Professor Chapman said to do that for a while, when we were starting out," Jon said. "People believe in the power of money as a determiner of quality."

"Not necessarily," said Meredith. "I mean, a fraud can charge just as much as the genuine article, but that doesn't make it any less fake."

"Yes necessarily," said Jon. "There was a brand of whiskey called Chivas Regal. It wasn't doing very well, so they changed just one thing about it and sales went up by 100%. Do you know what they changed?"

"No," said Meredith.

"The price tag," Jon said. "They doubled it. Andthat caused twice as many sales. People trust things that cost more."

"That's crazy," said Meredith. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't make that up," said Jon, "it was from my psychology major. Cialdini. Six Weapons of Influence."

"Then why aren't you chargingnow, if that was likely to raise attendance," Brandon said.

"Well,we never liked the idea of chargingeither," said Christa. "We only did it to gain attention. Necessary evil. Now we're more established, people know who we are, and we're kind of counting on our reputation to draw people in. This is the first performance we've ever done that wehaven't charged."

"It's a calculated risk," said Jon. "It may work or it may not. I've actually been keeping track of our attendance rates, so we'll see what happens. Half of psychology is statistics anyway."

Rod came up. "We ready?"

"We ready," Jon agreed. He kissed Caitlyn on the cheek and went to his work.

Afterwards, Caitlyn could not say how well things went; she wasn't a chorister, she didn't know what to look for in terms of perfection. She knew it sounded good from whereshe was sitting, and the audience loved it. Zach had ever been a showman, and he took front and center, but he was able to draw out Jon and Roderick and Beth and create an energetic and relaxed environment onstage. Sometimes they almost forgot to sing for having too much fun chattering. But remember they did, and when they sang they were in their element. They did some sing-alongs of easy Christmas carols—those were always fun, especially since Zach or Jon would drop spur-of-the-moment lyric changes just to make people laugh—and for performance pieces they had several of Jon's arrangements, a couple of Rod's, a rocking arrangement ofGo Tell It On The Mountain by a defunct barbershop quartet called the Gas House Gang, a write-up of The Carpenters'Merry Christmas, Darling (which had ridiculous lyrics but an almost orgasmic ending chord), and more besides. And when they took their final bows and the audience exploded, Caitlyn knew Jon would be pleased with the night's work.

And he was. "I mean, the whole point was,Let's give them something to think about besides finals, right," he told the group as they gathered together for the last time this calendar year. "Let's get some people in a room and have some fun." It was a bit cramped, with not only the eight members of Octapella in the practice room, but Caitlyn, the Chambers family, Serena's boyfriend Kenton and Rod's girlfriend Candi. No one seemed to mind, though. "Let's make some music, let's have fun, and let's end the year out right. And wedid."

"I just want to add," Roderick spoke up from the corner, where he was standing with his arms around Candi. She was the tallest woman Caitlyn had ever seen, but Rod was the tallestman she had ever seen, so she supposed it all worked out. "What is the point of music, if not to take people away from their lives and cares and problems for a little while? To let them step back and think about something else for a change. And if that was our goal, we kickedso much ass."

"I'll be in contact with Harry over getting a few quick CDs burned, for those who want them," Jon said, "and, I think we were going to talk starting in January about maybe putting an album together. But, for the moment... That's it. We're done. Thank you all so much, have awonderful Christmas, and we'll see you folks bright and early on Sunday the 6th of January."

"Wait, at 11:30?" said Christa.

"Oh, cripes, good point, uh— Shall we say— 4 PM? We'll toss some e-mails around over the break if we have to—"

Caitlyn saw Brandon and Meredith joining their friends, but this was only for a split second, before Jon grabbed her in a ferocious hug. "My God, we did it, we did it. I can't believe we did it."

"You did it before," Caitlyn said. Their previous outings had been successful as well, though nothing quite to this level.

"I was so glad you were there," he said.

"I've been at all of them," she said, nonplussed.

"I love you," he murmured, and bent to kiss her. It was then that she noticed something in his pants which was very happy to see her.

"Mmmm," she said, "I can see that."

"What say we head on home and... Engage in a bit of celebration of our own?"

"Hmm, celebrating. Isthat the new word for it now?"

"You're not allowed to joke about that until you've done it doggie-style," he said.

"Mmm-hmm," she said. She was a little reticent on that particular position, and he knew it. That comment had not been entirely innocent.

But what had Brandon and Meredith said?Because we know it will please them...

"You've got a deal," she said, forcing a smile that (to her surprise) wasn't all that hard to maintain.

"Hmmmm," he said, with a truly wicked grin.

The miles they drove seemed to fly by—partially because his hand was resting high on her thigh, which would have caused her mother to swallow her tongue had she known. Yet this was pitted against the heavy feeling in her stomach—for where, in the end, did her boundaries lie? She wasn't sure how far she was willing to let herself be pushed... But if the Chamberses were right, she should let Jon have his way with her, and throw her own discomfort out the window. Their words on the difficulty of compromise and self-sacrifice rang true to her, but this seemed excessive, and maybe even dangerous.

I don't have to give him everything all at once, she realized.I can let myself get comfortable, and stretch myself slowly, and... They'd been doing that for the entirety of their physical relationship; there had been times when even being held too tightly was enough to send her into a dizzying panic, and it had taken almost a year before she was okay with the idea of tongue while kissing.He's used to it. I don't have to push myself any— Well, I guess Ishould. It would be polite. But I don'thave to.

So it was that when they arrived at the Stantons' house, Jon raced up the stairs to their room, while Caitlyn tried to follow at a slightly more sedate pace. No matter how she tried to counsel herself, she was still uncomfortable with the idea of giving any more than she already had.And, I mean, it's not unrealistic to be uncomfortable in a new situation... I'm sure even Jon felt nervous the first time we had sex. Though obviously he hid it very well.

"What's wrong, baby," Jon said from inside the room, and Caitlyn realized she had been standing at the threshold, staring at the floor.

"I..." she said. "I just..."

Because, ultimately, what it came down to was this:I'm not sure I want to be the kind of woman who does these things.

"Do you love me," she asked.

Something changed in Jon's eyes, and he gathered her into his arms. "Of course."

"Even if... Even if I don't... Satisfy you... Sexually?"

He drew her to arm's length. "Now, where did you getthat idea? Baby, I amtotally satisfied with you sexually. I love what we do."

So did she, but this was contradictory signaling. "But... You... You want me to do... Other things."

He blinked. "Well... Yes," he said.

"So, doesn't that mean..."

"No, it doesn't. Yes, baby, there are things I want you to try. Because I wantyou to try them. I think you might like them. And, yes, I hope that you'll keep an open mind and be willing to experiment a little. But for one, we've only been married for a week. And for two, even if you aren't... Well, I'll be disappointed. But that's still okay, because we have so much more together that is so much more important than whether we have sex well. Finding sex is easy. Both of us could have done it a long time ago, if we wanted. Finding love... That's hard. And that's what we've found."

...Because, ultimately, she wasn't sure she wanted to be the kind of woman who did those things. But, at the same time, she wasn't sure she wanted to be the kind of woman who wasn't willing to inconvenience herself for her husband. She wasn't sure she wanted to be that... Selfish.

"Okay," she whispered. "I'll try it."

It was only after the words left her mouth that she realized she hadn't specified what it was she would try; but Jon didn't press the comment, simply drew her face up to hers for a kiss.

Soon she found herself on the bed, naked, with him beside her; he lay on his back, and she sprawled atop him, kissing him. She had realized quickly that he liked to have her on top; certainly he didn't have to work as much, and it let him sink deeper inside her, which she liked too. She could control the angle and depth of his penetration, bringing him inside her just the way she liked. Just thinking about it, she realized, was making her wetten.

She pulled back to look at him.

Jon blinked up at her. "You okay?" Her beloved. Her life. The father of her children, eventually. Her husband. Her love.

"I love you," she whispered, and bent down to kiss at his neck.

She had only done this once or twice before, discomfort and insecurity (of course) holding her back. She knew he was disappointed when she would not reciprocate his attentions, but he was patient; he was always patient. That alone made her love him; that alone gave her courage to try. And she tried now, reconstructing what he must have done a hundred times before: kissing down his neck and around the side, under his ears, around the back. (This must be a lot harder for him because of all my hair.) His eyes were closed, his breathing becoming sharper as her lips whispered their way over his flesh. She had only see that expression on his face a handful of times before, and always during their sex play.And, if I looked anything like that, I understand why he always liked doing this to me.

Presently she began to trail kisses down his body, over the planes of his chest and his slatted ribs and the faint ripples of his abs. He was proudly erect, his skin flushed pink and the head a darker red. She could see the small slit where semen and urine must come out. The faint scarring where he had been circumcised as a child, the tracery of veins under the skin... She could feel its warmth, and when she touched it, the skin was softer than anything she had ever felt before.

Jon breathed: "Oh..."

Treat it like a popsicle, Meredith had told her, but this was like no popsicleshe had ever experienced. It wasn't smelly, which was against expectations, and when she put its head in her mouth it didn't taste like much either—a little salty from sweat, mostly. But, oddly, with a pulsing red taste beneath that she realized was Jon's flesh.

Treat it like a popsicle. All right.

She began to lick up and down his shaft, starting from the top surface and working her way around. She stopped at the rim where the bulbous head began, going no further, but working over every inch of the shaft. It was slightly curved downward, a shape she followed with her tongue, and rigid beneath the softness of the outer skin.