All Comments on 'The Flight Before Christmas Ch. 02'

This would make a great movie script.

Chapter 2 down. Story is getting better!

Loving it! Can't wait for more. A truly interesting story.

Looks like an action-adventure-chase story with a side of HEA. Entertaining but the nascent romance borders on syrupy and the precocious cute kid (a staple character) is laid on too thick. The classic car seemed a male-pandering diversion. (Besides, I never thought the 305 was a very good engine. An oil burner.) A Cirrus that comes down on its parachute is totaled. The factory won't repair them anymore is what I heard. No one would attempt to fly it away but it makes a good story. Solid work. I gave it a five.

Tennessee: saying “the 305” is a bit heavy handed. There’s lots of different variants. The truck variants were prone to oil blowout, but not the car variants so much. Now, if I were really “pandering,” Todd would have swapped it with a 350 (they are dang near a drop-in replacement), but I didn’t go that far.

You’re correct on the Cirrus. You and I know that, but Todd might not know that, right?

Thanks for reading and commenting!

I really liked the first chapter. Other than the child being a little too smart and well-spoken (she is supposedly a 5 year old), I thought it was written very well. Chapter 2's grammar is rough. You use "on which" a couple of times, and nobody says nor thinks using this verbiage. I don't think this story needed a husband killing added to it. The whole plane crash plot was more than enough drama and intrigue to your short story. The addition of the husband killing sub-plot feels shoe-horned in and fudges with the slower pacing you established in the first chapter. It also adds an unnecessary daytime Soap feel. I give chapter one a 5 and Chapter Two a 4.

It's rolling along nicely. Still 5 stars.

I gave you a 5 because I'm enjoying the tale. Only spotted one spelling mistake which makes me happy.

Another excellent chapter with the plot thickening. The formal versus informal sentence structure was fine and in an attempt to be helpful, the only issue I noticed was one typo (Th instead of The near the end). Great job! Another 5*.

Hi,

I am spendings hours do search for well written stories that don’t starts with hard sex in the firsts pages, and this one happens to be in aviation background. It is almost nirvana for me Keep on the good work!

It's still a very good story and I'm lovin it.Have an idea this will end as a happily ever after, and that's a good thing. LP

Great series. The background check could bite him in the ass... 5*

You guys are SOOOOOO GOOOOOOD at this!!!

4 star, actually 4 1/2