All Comments on 'The Freebie'

Fantastic story

But I really wasn't fond of starting with the ass fucking already underway. To me it made what followed less erotic. It's the NOT knowing exactly where the story is going that potentially makes the trip erotic.

Telling a joke beginning with the punchline would be a similar no-no in my book.

Too much jumping back and forward. Breaks the natural flow of a story and if that's your style I won't bother reading any more tales from you.

But an abrupt ending

I like how you bring things back from earlier in the story. I'm gonna call it a James Wan story telling.

the anal sex was hot! positions where great! the easing into anal sex was believable and hot! and was easy to experience the sex through our male protagonist. I really liked the play between the characters the sarcasm and the playful banter!

I think you could easily transition to a threesome when Victoria comes out of the bathroom (probably naked).

Connect Rebecca's leaving of the club as her getting jealous of Victoria making out with the guy, and not her. and Victoria could easily be jealous that Rebecca got noticed and she didn't so now wants attention as well.

our male protagonist already thinking that Victoria was beautiful as well, and Victoria was also willing to kiss him.

you could also connect that Victoria had also received the video that was sent from Rebecca's phone. Rebecca already mentioned how could a girl get Dp'd and Victoria comes with a strap on to make Rebecca understand. hahaha!

With Rebecca you have created a marvel, I call her the "strong willed submissive". This is best shown in the exchange:

-Assfuck you mean?

-I want to taste you.

She takes the dirty provocation without objecting which is submissive. But then she suggests something even dirtier, showing the initiative of a strong willed woman.

Good powers of observation brought the story to life.

Well written and I liked the transition in time. Starts in the midst of the action and backstory developed throughout. Believeable and very hot.

Well written. Enjoyed the non-linear structure. Sequel?

I love the way you started with the sex scene and moved though the flirting process. I think I need some time alone :)

Wow! Just Wow! One of the sexiest stories I've read. I've never enjoyed a story that starts from the end and works back, but somehow you made it work beautifully. Specifically, starting at both the end and the beginning and working toward the middle was a masteful stroke. But what really made the story was your frank, vulgar descriptons that seemed, at the same time, romantic, playful and tender. I'll be looking for more stories from you.

loved women´s anal sphincters for the last sixty five years. they´ve been good to me/us. thank you.

Just wish there was more

...

I'm not generally a fan of stories that continually time-hop, but it worked okay here thanks to the interplay between the characters. This gave a playful, fun feel to the story that drew me in quickly. It meant I could enjoy the ride and discovering how they got together was every bit as engaging as the sex.

Interesting that you decided to write this from a male perspective (presuming you are female) and this was done well ~ hats off to you there. Something I've yet to do but would be a good challenge I think. Personally, my respect for and liking of the characters went down a notch with the unprotected sex and the guys jerk status went up a peg or two when he sneakily air-dropped himself the video, but that's just me.

Although aware of the concept, I didn't know the term 'freebie' even though I used to watch friends. 'Celebrity pass' is what I know it as. Rebecca Adlington was an interesting, but great choice. Definitely sexy in my eyes. Found the story by searching 'tall' in the tags being 6'5" myself and very much having a thing for tall ladies. Did you choose RA as she has similar characteristics to yourself, or just someone you fantasise about personally? I'm guessing Victoria was Ms. Pendleton?

Anyway, thanks for the very enjoyable read. Ending was a little weak, but otherwise, impressive writing and looking forward to reading more of your work.

Simply brilliant! Gifted writer!

this really belongs in the celebrity category

I LOVED this story. I was seriously jealous of the guy in the story and proud of her for doing something outside her normal limits. Well written and horny as hell.

I loved this story, and thought the converging timeline worked well. Definitely worthy of a part II. Thanks.

THE best story I have read on this site.

Good story. I have tried many times but never with an Olympic winner. Thank you for taking me there.

Superb... great place, delicious juxtaposition of the good girl and her dirty dirty self. Love the Olympian forever healthy going ass to mouth and her final Amazonian domination of his cock... and of course she got caught by Victoria. Only thing you missed was him storming the bathroom, lifting Victoria off the throne with her knickers around her knees while she continued to drip and pressing her face deep into Rebecca’s asshole to clean up. Great story.

Great story - well done.

I found the flashbacks annoying at the start but them thought that you timed them brilliantly as the story went on. Great tempo. Also great dialogue - believable and enough to add to the tensions. Off to look for a part 2...

Good. Unfortunately the timing changes carried on for too long. By that I mean they should have ended about half wa through the story allowing it to flow from there to the conclusion, which in turn was a little fast and curtailed. But, all in all, a lovely and unusual concept. 5 stars.

A sequel perhaps???

You are very good at this.

Thank u 🙏 I’ve had a fetish for big strong athletes forever and this made me super happy.

Thank you!

We need a part 2 immediately. This is superb writing.

A very good story, and well written. Plus it is delightful dirty. My only suggestion of sorts, is that the ending doesn't work too well.