All Comments on 'The Gambler and the Debt Collector'

Yeah, sure.

ols premise but nicely written and w/ a twist.

Sure, the gambling debt plot is old, but the difference is; this story was believable and that's a feat. It was well written and a pleasure. Thanks.

I found this to be very interesting and unique. It poses a fascinating question: can a woman enjoy the sex act when she's blackmailed into it? Perhaps some of the female readers could comment. Good story, well written.

I did not see the twist at the end coming. Well done, Bazzza.

Enjoyable story, thanks.

I almost stopped reading when I came to the poker playing part of the story. That type of plot has been done many times in the past, usually ending with the wife taking on all the players and then scheduling another game as soon as possible. Thankfully, I kept on reading and was rewarded with this little gem.

Very well written.

Your leading character has to be one of the stupidest idiots around. Anyone who plays with strangers for that kind of money is incredibly stupid and wife is not much better. Any normal wife would call the police and kick ass hole husband out of the house, not put out for criminal. Totally stupid story. Incidentally, get a new broker. Any broker who caanot convert account into cash in two weeks would be investigated by SEC. Good writer, stupid plot.

the Ct. Yankee

someone, quick, shoot me dead! lol

me, i don't know which is worse: tellin' a very stupid story or tellin' a story about a very stupid person

i need a coconut drink here!

But I'll give the story a 25 because of the only thing that I found intresting enough to say felt real. The part where his wife told him what happened and he was unable to perform.

But the rest of it just seemed more like a stroke story to me, and to be honest that's not my cup of tea. Not saying it made your story wrong, just that it's not for me.

I mean what man thinks having sex with another mans wife in front (or well in the next room) is so great event (and an experience that he can't find with a single unattached woman), that because of that single encounter he'll be driven to force honesty out of any men who cheated the husband and right the wrongs? That seems pretty far fetched. Like it was a vehicle to get the couple to stay together and share the pain of his gambling problem.

And for me that was just the tip of the iceberg of things that seemed strange in a story that various folks gave such high marks too. I honestly should have stopped at the poker game.

I guess you just have to chalk the rest of my reasons for not liking the majority of the story to me being a "evangelical hypocrite" like you perfer to call most of us that don't agree with ya!

(^_^)

-Risq

You write very well and the characters struck me as real people. What was unrealistic was the setting and the plot. When a professional gambler sells their debt to a gangster they do it for the same reason a bank sell bankrupt properties. They can not be bothered with collection. However, once you established that line of logic the gangster can only be the villian (unless there is a special situation).

The idea that Luke would fuck Lynn for 2 weeks interest on $78K is silly (do the math on 10% per week interest). If Luke ran his business like that he would never get paid and all he would have is a fuck every two weeks. If he wanted to put the fear of God in the husband Luke failed. Luke acted like a timid suitor. For all he knew the husband may have gotten off on his fucking Lynn. Then after this terrible event the husband stay in town to finish his job (why he did not leave after Luke first showed up is a mystery - Luke may have killed Lynn to show him that he was serious about the delay in collecting his debt).

Lynn's story about her time with Luke smacked of the usual rape story where the female become aroused and begs her rapist to fuck her. Don't get me wrong it was good stroke material but it did not fit this act as a tragedy for their marriage.

Finally, Luke's reparations was a joke. Men like Luke live off of men like Johnny. You would think that Luke was a contractor for the honest casinos. It was simply not credible.

If you had created a special situation between Luke and Lynn then the ending would have worked. For example, if Lynn had turned out to be an old long lost girlfriend such that Luke still loved her then Luke's treatment of her and the return of the money would make sense.

Bottom Line: A decent drama with flaws. The story does not make a good fantasy (no one is having fun).

SleeplessinMD

I always look forward to your efforts but this one was below grade. Also, as someone else said I enjoyed it through to the card con which was so evident to anyone with a brain that it unreasonably tainted both a strong character and the story form that point onward.

Then it got worse with his insipid actions and her quick capitulation. It made his character worse than any woman could stand so now she was brainless.

Then the money with interest boggled.

Expectations often exceed but that is what results from being an acknowledged writer. We expect more and perhaps unjustly so.

Memo to Risq 001 - Please don't confuse this man of quality with the Bazzz idiot into black self cuckolding. Here you owe him an apology.

A mulligan is in order Author. Dazzle us with your next more credible story.

'Bazza':

There is no doubt in your ability to put pen to paper. You are certainly skilled in your command of the written word.

I thought the husband in your story to be no more than a fool to be wagering such large amounts in a card game with persons with whom he was so unfamiliar and who he knew so briefly.

Not being one who relishes tales of wife-sharing, I must confess that I thought you handled well the wife's carnal payment towards her husband's debt. In most stories posing this same situation, the wife usually becomes obsessed with lascivious desire for the interloper...and the husband is so enthralled with the idea that he takes up permanent residence in the closet.

Your ending was different and interesting...a mobster with integrity. While not my favorite tale from you, your story and the effort required in composing it are appreciated.

TO RISQ: As the previous person noted, this writer is not "Bazzz." A telltale sign surely is the following sentence taken from the story: "...,I mean no man in his right mind likes to see his wife get drilled by another man." Does that read as something 'Bazzz,' would write. Not hardly!!!

I thought this tale may get a few negative comments due to the gambling story line.

Some readers commented on the stupidity of it all, but our hospitals, jails and graveyards are full of stupid people.

This story was inspired by one of my previous staff members whom I shall call Phil. After several threats, Phil refused to leave his family home due to a substantial gambling debt, and even resigned his job when his absence was questioned.

The problem was only solved when his old retired father took a mortgage out on his house to pay his son's debt. Many years later, I ran into his father, who I might add was one of the nicest people I've ever met. When I inquired after Phil, I was informed that his gambling was worse than ever and his family were still suffering.

Another point I would like to make is just what people are willing to do when they are at the risk of physical violence. Having myself been on the wrong end of an unprovoked attack by three assailants, I can tell you that the emotional terror is something that haunts you forever. The question of whether I might live or not was real. Until you experience it, one never knows how you might react, or how the situation effects you in the future.

My last point is that most of us lead comfortable lives these days. Having recently read Berlin, a book about the Russians entering that city at the end of the second world war, it wasn't all that long ago that that proud Berlin women sold their bodies to provide for themselves and their families, which no doubt left many scars.

This story is about the emotions of the husband and wife in a difficult situation. My question is to you is, what would you be willing to do do to survive?

Thanks for all your comments, it got me thinking which aint a bad thing.

Regards

Bazzza

I gave the story a five simply on the part where the stupid husband is listening to his wife getting fucked. I found that part to be incredibly erotic together with her description of the event. I would have preferred a much darker ending instead of the contrived 'feel good' ending.

A number of people have given the story a bad wrap without realising that the whole point of the exercise is 'Erotica'.

This was actually quite well done and well written.

I bookmarked your storys into my browser-file "still read"

Thank you for my good entertainment

Nucleus

Very well told. Five stars.

Enjoyed it greatly! Entertained and thoroughly kept my interest. Thanks for sharing!

Gay story motherfucker.

But this is pure wimp/cuck and bitch/whore fodder.

Good writer, but I just can’t go for this one.

good story, good execution, nice twist