The Gate - Elvish Has Left

Stefan stood to shake his hand, "It's just Mister Hanover, or Stefan. I'm retired."

"Ah yes," then in a quiet tone of voice he asked, "How is Lelu?"

"I'm doing quite well, thank you for asking," said Lelu. Higaki had seen Lelu before she and Stefan were separated weeks ago, he never saw the results of Lelu's recovery.

"My goodness!" he gasped, "I'm sorry, I did not realize..."

"It is ok colonel, I know what I looked like, I lived with it every day for longer than you have been alive." She looked like she was going to be sick, "to torture me my guards used to hold up a mirror and make me look at what they did to me."

Stefan felt the waves of hate and anger and self-loathing radiating from Lelu and he turned to her. He wrapped his arms around her, her cheek resting on his shoulder, and he calmed her, allowing her emotional crisis to flow into him, allowing their pheromones to mingle and reassure them both. When she was calm, he turned back to Higaki who asked, "What is the nature of your visit today?"

"We're planning to release Lelu's mother from Zorzal's prison and need a few items, we also need Itami's elves to try to determine the location of a specific elf that we are looking for, and Crown Princess Pina wants us to present ourselves to her. Could you reach out to Ambassador Sugawara and find out when would be a good time for that?"

"Of course, I would be glad to do all of that... if you'll do me a favor," grinned the colonel, "I hear you Americans have a tradition in your military..."

The colonel gave them a ride to Itami's quarters and dropped them off telling them which tent was Itami's. It was hard not to chuckle as he and Lelu strolled through "tent city" eventually finding Itami's tent, it was the 3rd Recon Team's HQ office where arch mage Lelei Le Lelana was sitting at the unit admin's desk typing on her laptop, normally Sgt. Akira Tomita would sit there, but being a "down day", he was home with his wife and child. The tent was huge, normally twelve people could live comfortably in the tent, but this tent was divided into four rooms, the front office and storeroom took up most of the tent, Itami's living room and Itami's bedroom took up the remainder.

As Stefan and Lelu entered the front door, Lelei looked up and almost shouted with delight at seeing them but they both shushed her with a finger to their lips which she understood and whispered "Hi! You look so much better than the last time I saw you!"

"I was unconscious and nearly dead," Stefan reminded her.

Lelei nodded, "and you're doing so much better now." She examined Lelu's right hand, "I think I can do a little more healing while you're here, but it's still going to feel ugly."

Lelu tried to flex her shattered hand, "I've been ugly... I know ugly."

"No, you're not ugly," Lelei nodded in Stefan's direction, "He wouldn't be here if you were." They sat down at a desk and Lelei slowly and carefully began to heal the bones that she thought could be straightened. Hands are complex, a hand surgeon in Stefan's world probably couldn't straighten the savaged bones in Lelu's right hand, but he could get it to look ok-ish. Lelei can restore looks and functionality to her hand, but it was going to be a long and sometimes painful process. "So why are you here?" Lelei asked, probably to distract Lelu more than anything else.

"We need a mage, we're looking for Layla Barada Tu Tamuz."

"She's quite powerful now," said Lelei as she cast a healing spell on Lelu's hand, rearranging a misshapen bone. It was a difficult spell to cast because she didn't have a second mage with her to give Lelu "anesthesia," a pain killing spell at the same time, yet what she was doing seemed to be working quite well. She had to fix a little, kill the pain, fix a little more, kill the pain some more, and Lelu never showed any pain.

After several cycles of this Stefan had to call a stop to it, Lelu's pain was getting to him and making him nauseous. Lelei did one more small repair just to see what was going on, her quick anesthesia spell should have worked properly, Lelu didn't appear to be in pain, so she studied the couple and when Stefan's hand curled up in pain she cried out, "Are you taking her pain from her?"

"I'm her husband, that's my job," said Stefan as he winced in pain and flexed his aching hand.

"Oh no, honey!" cried Lelu as she turned and wrapped her arms around Stefan. "What if we both get hurt?"

"You are the one that knows the medicinal and edible plant life here," he said between kisses. "I don't know those things; I could get us killed so I'll take your pain while you find something to help us."

Just then, Lieutenant Yoji Itami emerged from his apartment to find out what the ruckus was all about. He had been reading doujinshi manga, as Stefan suspected, when the noise of visitors in the admin office began to disturb him. "Is there a reason you're disturbing my only day off this month, Gunny?" demanded Itami as he entered the admin office.

Stefan chuckled. "I come to collect a debt that you and your little club of military fanboys owe me."

"Club of military fanboys?" True, being a member of the JSDF was primarily a method of providing money to support his hobbies, but 1Lt. Itami does have a little pride.

"You don't have any marines," growled the retired Gunnery Sergeant. Actually, there are JSDF Marines, none of them were under Itami's supervision. "I have a list of a few things that I need." He handed a handwritten list of the materiel he wanted to Itami who looked at the list and whistled.

"This will definitely cost you," the lieutenant said as he scratched his head.

"You can't get them?"

"No, I can definitely get them, but ummm..." Itami truly could get them, he just didn't want to do it. This was his day off!

"Tell you what," grinned the old sergeant, "If you can get me these items, and a ride to Sadara, I'll get you that second bar LT."

"Second bar?" Itami asked.

"Oops, sorry, I meant third cherry blossom." In the USMC a first lieutenant wears a single silver bar, adding a second bar would make him a captain. In the JSDF however a first lieutenant wears a single bar and above it is what looks like two puffy stars but are cherry blossoms. A promotion to captain would get Itami a third cherry blossom. The cherry blossom is a fixture in Japanese culture and is meant to remind the soldiers of what they are fighting for.

"Do you think I'm going to fall for that Gunny-san?"

"Well, look at it this way Itami-sensi, I have a gazillion yen on the books which should cover what I want so all you're doing is filling out the paperwork for me, and for that you get another 30 or more dojo-nishi magnum a month... or whatever you call your comic books," said Stefan with a rakish grin.

"Doujinshi manga," corrected Itami as he stepped behind the admin's desk and signed in on the supply net. "Ok, Interarm Mark Ten bolt action .243 caliber left hand action, for the little lady I'm going to assume. Ten boxes of .243 ammo, full metal jacket, naturally. Ten boxes of .243 ammo ball, I'm guessing for target practice, Remington model 870 pump action shotgun, extended magazine, nice boom stick!" Itami said referencing the movie Army of Darkness. He continued, "ten boxes of double ought buck shot, three-inch magnum, nine pellets per round, that'll do the trick. Let's add ten boxes of steel bb shot, you may want to do some duck hunting. And an ATN X-Sight Pro Edition 5-20x70mm scope, hmmm your scope is worth more than your rifle... just saying." He banged on the keyboard and said, "It'll be here tomorrow. Pay up."

Stefan waved his walking stick over Itami's head several times chanting the incantation:

Cold hearted orb that rules the night

Remove the colors from our sight

Red is gray and yellow white

But we decide which is right

Then he gently tapped each shoulder. "By the power vested in me by the United States Marine Corps I hereby promote you one rank in the Japanese Self Defense Force." He brought his stick to order arms, then made a "magical" motion with his hand and said, "Poof! You're a captain."

As Lelei and Lelu applauded Stefan's amazing magical power, Itami shook his head and said "I knew it was all bullshit."

Just then Lieutenant Colonel Osamu Higaki knocked on the door. As he stepped in, Stefan snapped to attention and in his best booming USMC trained voice he let go with "ROOM! A teeeen HUT!" Lelu almost snapped to attention herself, even though she had no idea what "attention" truly is. Even Lelei started to jump out of her chair without really understanding what was going on. Colonel Higaki glared at Itami who was shuddering at the position of attention. Higaki held a fistful of rolled up papers in his hand that he pointed at Itami like a dagger. "Lieutenant, did you order two weapons and several boxes of ammunition for a civilian?" he demanded; a cigar clenched in his teeth. Itami had never seen Higaki so worked up before. He looked angry enough to start hitting people.

"Yes sir, I did," said Itami, no sense in lying about it. This might be his ticket home.

Colonel Higaki's features softened. "Good job," he said in a pleasant voice then broke out in a grin, "That civilian has a mission coming up, he's going to need some support." He swatted a confused Itami's arm with the rolled-up papers and grinned. "Congratulations captain."

Being the commander of Recon Team 3, Captain is Itami's position title. Like the Captain of a naval vessel, that's the name of the job, your rank may not be captain, you can be a Sergeant, but you will still be called Captain if you are in command of the ship. "Thank you, sir," he said, still confused.

"No really, I mean it... Captain." Colonel Higaki handed the rolled-up papers to Itami who slowly unrolled them and saw they were a set of orders telling him that he had been promoted to the rank of Captain. Suddenly all the members of Recon Team 3, Itami's troops, poured into the office laughing at this great American tradition of pranking a person who earned a promotion. As they started to congratulate their boss Itami could only say, "You put him up to this, didn't you Gunny Hanover."

"Aye, Captain. I sure did."

"Gunny, you're a son of a bitch," said Itami as his men patted his back.

"Aye, Captain, I sure am."

As Recon Team 3 congratulated their boss, Lelei cast spells on Stefan and Lelu's cloaks and backpacks. The cloaks received spells that caused people to ignore the wearer, it doesn't make them invisible, that's impossible, but being ignored is close to invisible. The backpack received a dose of storage magic, they can now hold anything you can get through the opening, no matter how long. A 15 foot long pole slides right in. Also, no matter how much you put in there, the pack never weighs more than 5 pounds.

As the joyful unit headed over to the All-Ranks Club, Stefan and Lelu left the promotion party and went to the growing town of Alnus Hill to find an inn for the night. They found a restaurant that wasn't too crowded, so they decided to eat there, and hoped that they would meet someone who knew of an inn where they could sleep. "I hate being illiterate," groaned Stefan as he looked at the menu. It was written in two languages, Saderan and Japanese, neither of which Stefan could read. Stefan only knows one Japanese kanji, the one that looks like a long-legged stick figure which means "person." Saderan looks to him like someone writing cursive with a pen that is low on ink and keeps skipping parts of the letters.

"I'm not much better," said Lelu, "I can read this, but I don't understand what any of this is... what's rice? I see it mentioned a lot."

"It's a grain that's boiled. It's in a lot of Japanese meals." Stefan thought for a moment, what would 18-year-old Private Stefan Hanover do when he ended up drunk and off base in Okinawa? Oh yes, he remembers. "I know a trick that works in all restaurants, it works best in Italy, it should work here." He turned to find a waitress and paged one over but as she got close their waitress began looking at them funny, like she was star-struck or something. Her eyes were wide, she was trembling all over and she had a huge open-mouthed smile. Her bunny ears were twitching meaning that she's overwhelmed by something. Desiring a glass of water Stefan asked, "Oh miss, could we..."

The waitress squealed and slumped to the floor; she had fainted dead away.

"Holy crap!" said Stefan and he and Lelu jumped up and knelt over the waitress. Her pulse was good, and she was breathing, "She may be in shock," he said. He covered her with his cloak as Lelu made a pillow out of her cloak and put it under her head, then Stefan put her feet up on his chair. The manager, another warrior bunny came running as patrons began to circle around to see what was happening.

"What happened to her?" the manager asked as she crouched down to check her waitress who was now regaining consciousness.

"I don't know," said Lelu, "she just looked at us and fainted."

When Stefan looked up at her the manager squealed loudly and fell back on her fluffy tail. "Yeah, she said that too," said Stefan.

"No! No! It's just that you..." then the managers voice took on a dreamy quality, "You've been marked by The Queen!"

"I have?" asked Stefan.

"He doesn't have a mark," said Lelu as she helped the recovering waitress sit up.

The manager gasped in awe, "You're both marked!" she said it with such reverence that both Stefan and Lelu started to worry. Then the manager reached out with a trembling hand and gently touched Stefan's cheek which caused the recovering waitress to squeal again.

Stefan and Lelu shrugged at each other. "I don't see anything."

"Me neither."

"Only warrior bunnies can see it," said a wizen old matron of the bunny persuasion who came by to see the human and the elf that were marked by the queen. "It's a special mark left by the queen, it can be one of seven colors, your is red. It's right here," she said as she touched Stefan's cheek.

"That's where Queen Mary kissed me," said Stefan, but his words were drowned out by several warrior bunny customers squealing and fainting. "Ok, that's it," Stefan growled, "I'm fixing this now. He stood and climbed up on a chair and declared, "Bunnies! I have been marked by your queen. Now that you know, you need to suck it up and act like a rabbit! Do you copy?"

"Yes, human!" the bunnies replied, proud to be called a rabbit, their ancient name. But one, a slim athletic blond who looked barely old enough to be in high school extended her diary toward him, "Can I get your autographs?"

The next few minutes were a bit hectic, when word of what an autograph was got out, bunnies lined up for autographs on everything from scraps of shopping bags to cloth handkerchiefs. The manager came to the rescue and announced, "AFTER they eat, I'm sure our heroes will be happy to sign autographs and answer your questions!" The manager then turned to Stefan and said, "You clearly do not understand how big of an honor this is, maybe Grandma will explain it to you after you eat."

"That would be great," smiled Stefan, "we're really hungry."

"What would you like? our best dish is yours, on the house," gushed manager bunny.

Stefan tried his best trick, it worked for him in every country he was assigned to, "don't tell the chef who we are, just say we're new here, then tell the chef to make us whatever it is that makes him or her happy to cook. His or her favorite dish, anything, at all, on or off the menu. We just want to enjoy the head cook's favorite dish."

"She'll be delighted to hear that," the manager smiled and headed back to the kitchen.

Stefan and Lelu took the opportunity to sign autographs and answer questions from the excitable bunnies endearing them to the crowd. After about 20 minutes the manager came to their table with an interesting looking dish, it appeared to be a large round flat bread covered with sauce, cheese and slices of sausages, and with it came sectioned wings from a large bird that were fried and coated in a spicy cayenne pepper sauce. "Pizza and wings?" laughed Stefan, "this is a sign! my compliments to the chef!"

"A sign?" asked Lelu, "how so?"

"The chef could have made anything," said Stefan as he put a slice on Lelu's plate, "but without knowing me, she made food that my people traditionally eat to celebrate something."

As Stefan showed Lelu how to dig into "American" food a voice was heard from behind the crowd who insisted on seeing how heroes eat, "Who has the discerning taste in exotic meals?" called the chef as she made her way through the crowd.

"My husband," said Lelu, her mouth and fingers covered with wing sauce, she added another bone to the stack they were building. "This is delicious! Such flavor! So bold and intoxicating!" said Lelu, her eyes rolling with pleasure, then she smiled at Stefan, "it reminds me of you. Brassy and aggressive and hot on the tongue and makes the white sauce taste great," she waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she dipped the wing section in the ranch dressing.

The chef appeared from the crowd, she was a warrior bunny, shorter than most, just barely out of her teens. She had black hair restrained in a hair net along with her ears and was wearing a white apron with nothing else, her breasts threatened to spill out of the apron. She was happy to see that a human was eating her cooking, most green men generally didn't like it, but the ones that did were CRAZY about it. She was also surprised that an elf was eating her wings. Elves traditionally prefer bland food, and many were vegan.

"This is such a good pie," said Stefan between bites of the pizza. "Now I know that I'm not in Colorado anymore, you can't get a pizza this good in Colorado. Where did you learn to cook pizza and wings? This is incredible!"

"One of the Green Men asked me to give it a try," said the chef bunny cheerfully. "He was stationed in 'Merica and he loves 'Merican cooking so he translated the recipes, and I gave it a try. You like?"

"I LOVE it," said Stefan around a mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

"So good!" said Lelu, "I can't get enough!"

"I'm from 'Merica, and this is better than most 'Merican pizzas," said Stefan.

"REALLY?" squeaked the chef, "I'm learning how to make real 'Merican Trismass food for the Green Men who can't go home for the holidays. Can you tell me if I get it right?"

"That depends," said Stefan, "There's all kinds of Christmas food. What are you making?"

"It's very popular, Itami told me so," she smiled.

Itami! Stefan shook his head, what is it with that guy? He seems to be involved in everything here. "So what is your secret dish?"

Chef bunny grinned and leaned over, exposing more cleavage, and said, "K.F.C.!" Stefan paused, looking to see if she was serious, then broke up laughing. "What's wrong with K.F.C.?" Bunny asked, "I think I identified all eleven herbs and spices."

"No, it's not that, it's... yes, KFC is 'Merican as apple pie, but it's only popular as a Christmas meal in Japan. I'm sure you're going to do a great job," Stefan tried to recover from laughing.

Instead of being insulted, chef bunny started laughing along with this man and his elf wife. "You have stuff all over your face," she said.

"Thank you," he said. He wiped his face off and Chef Bunny gasped.

"Who gave you that mark?" she demanded as she placed her hands on the table and leaned over to look closer, giving Stefan an incredible view down her cleavage. "When did you get it?"

"Queen Mary," said Lelu who then took a big bite of the slice of pizza that Stefan held out to her.

"She was awesome," said Stefan, "What a bunny. Have you ever tried blue cheese with these wings? Incredible! I'm not complaining, ranch isn't bad, but bleu cheese is the authentic thing. I went to Buffalo once just to try the wings right from the source..."