All Comments on 'The Gilded Cage'

Good story!

5

Sorry for the formatting! Literotica removed my horizontal breaks, so I've put in a request to edit them back in. Hope the story is still readable without them.

An interesting sketch, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as some of the author’s other stories. Neither of the main characters were developed sufficiently to make their relationship understandable. How could she come to love him? How could he love her? Within the confines of a very short story, maybe it isn’t possible to get the reader to appreciate the roots of their passion…or maybe it’s just me. I certainly look forward to future stories from this accomplished author.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

good, great plot, well spelt, romantic & passionate, did not need to be long or smutty to maje a great story. well done!

Excellent story and an interesting setting/plot.

somewhat confusing, to me...

Another home run. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

A nice, short story!

Damnation, this was excellent.

You reduced this story to the bare bones minimum and left the most sumptuous feast. Thank you for not mucking a great story up with untoward flourishes.

Where love leads, we follow. ☆☆☆☆☆

It's marvelous that you can say so much in so few words. Loved the idea, and it seems that it's probably happening somewhere in the world today...or tomorrow...or maybe yesterday. Good job!

I hope that Literotica enable you to re-insert the breaks they removed. The 5 years between returning the daughter to her father and killing the father pass with no indication at all that time has moved on.

I don't think this is suitable for a short story. There are too many aspects left hanging, with inadequate character development in a story where personal feelings and desires are inevitably complex. A good try, though.

WTH - Who knew you could write a short as good as HDK? Outstanding effort and was perfect at every level. 5+*

You're an accomplished writer but IMO this is too short to showcase your talents. The military aspects were not good and seemed amateurish while the relationship that developed was not realistic in the length of the story. Your writing is as good as expected but this was not for me. Sorry but only 4 stars this time.

Just...wow! What a gifted writer you are! 5 stars!!!!!

Powerful and passionate. Just fuckin' WOW! 5 stars and a fave!!!

A great little Short Story. 5*****

Yes, the characters are not fully developed! Yes, there are lots of loose ends! AND that is the nature of Short Stories!

Thank you, norafares, for sharing your literary gifts. 🤗

unusual

Short, sweet, well crafted, romantic to those of us with romance in our hearts.

Nora writes very well, but I often don't have time for a story that takes hours and hours.

When I saw this with short. I dived in and was richly rewarded. 5 all the way.

It's a melancholy love story taken from the pages of a history that repeats itself over and over. And nicely told. Thanks for a concise read.

To go only 2500 words? This is a masterpiece. About the only way I could have imagined you could have wrapped it up where no one would have to suspend any disbelief would have been to create a long time gap before they reunited, as their rebellion needed the money and it was the only way they might give Kellen a way to reunite with Desta later (he tried all before and failed). Had it been any less than 5 years, I would have said the ending was too rushed, as that period always seems to allow a person to psychologically adjust and place certain unpleasant events (even minor traumas) into an acceptable headspace.

Beautiful use of her name, to wrap her character around it. I think of all the things, I love that idea and execution the most. You didn't overdo the sex, but made it beautiful to imagine and fitting for both. She even gets her little quip (well, she gets more than that) in right before she has to kiss him to let him know she loves him for the kindness and compassion he shows her. That was even lovelier, so for both of them to end up together...it was very sweet. A 5 without any reservations. Well done.

Well Nora, you still have it. My first reading of one of yours since Head Above Water. 5 stars easy!

The only thing missing was the nearly 5 year old child at her side when he found her.

Short, but sweet. Well done.

Head Above Water is perhaps the best I have read on this site. The present story falls short of the standard that sets. The style is reminiscent of Hemingway but this one feels more like a rough draft of a Hemingway story arc. The idea is fascinating: it is to me an aspect of Stockholm Syndrome that has not been well explored elsewhere. It needs much fleshing out. Picture a 10-15,000 word version of A Farewell to Arms; you are talented enough to take us there.

there's a lot here for so few words! It's about the passion, not the politics or warfare. It would be interesting to see if the characters could reach an understanding that one new strongman may be all that can be achieved; that power itself, and the necessity to defend that power does really corrupt, and make the new strongman just the old one with a new uniform. that love is real, that most everything else is, as Solomon said, vanity and vexation.

What can I say, it's 5 stars in my opinion! Great job!!

Amazing! Nora has real talent.

I quote: "Reader, please be aware that this story is a short exercise."

It is great as an exercise! There is ambition to write a challenging story. There is a love story that had that all important BIG PROBLEM - absolutely incompatible social circumstances. I find it cute that the story is written from the male perspective (nice exercise of roleplaying). I presume that the author did not seek to create a believable revolutionaries/kidnapping environment. It is rather an attempt to create a fantasy romantic revolutionary environment that would be easily accessible and pleasing for the audience. I think, in that regard the story succeeds very well. I understand the sex appeal of a substitute “Comandante Che Guevara", no matter how distant is that fantasy from reality. I think that this theme can be usefully employed for a larger text that the mass audience (female, of course), would find enjoyable and appealing.

Outstanding! You can feel the passion. You are wonderfully talented. Thank you for sharing.

G

Sureal. I compare Desta poorly to Patty Hearst (Tanya?) To the (war?) Between the SLA and media dictator, William Randolph Hearst. (An earlier media dictator, Rupert Murdoch) But passionate love to an innocent 'lonesome dove', is as likely as former Peru's President/dictator Fujimori's daughter...