The Gilded Gaze

There was nothing. Outside void, infinite rings of chilly oblivion wrapped in the cosmos of aether.

Reality snapped back. She was sitting.

Sitting on a riverbank, lush and green. Reeds stretching up from the ground around her, swaying in gentle waves. In front of her, a river. Cool blue, stretching off into infinity in both directions. Coiling like a great blue snake, and...

Buildings. Pyramids, dotting the landscape as pointed giants. Temples, tan sandstone standing proud among the river's delta.

Beyond it all, a setting sun. A giant, red sun setting on the horizon, casting the realm in golden twilight. In the evening glow, the gentle trickle of the river's lazy flow and the distant trill of insects.

"Apologies," a warm voice came from behind, "place must seem a mess. I do so rarely get visitors."

She scrambled up, turning around. Nothing. Nothing but reeds packed tight as prison bars.

A black claw emerged from the dense foliage, pulling it aside.

Ssalka, looking rather pleased with himself. He darted out his tongue, nodding his head towards the setting. "Ah, but I get ahead of myself. Welcome to my home, Floria Alwinday. If you would grace it with such a title."

She turned, looking out to the river. "You live here?"

"In a sense. It's a part of me. No less than the color of your own eyes. Or those glasses you always seem to wear."

She reached up to pluck them from her eyes.

"No no," he waved. "I actually quite like them."

Her arms fell to her side. "Where are we, exactly?"

He didn't answer immediately, his long body slithering towards her. She stepped back as he moved past her, hands behind his back and looking out towards the horizon.

"Hmmm. Interesting. I'm having trouble thinking of an answer for that."

"Really?"

He turned his head with a grin. "Of course not. But we're not here to answer questions, hm? You wanted a bath, if I recall."

"Oh. Um. Yes?"

Gesturing towards the river, he turned around and began to slither off. "In that case, the river is yours. I do hope you find it adequate."

He moved off back into the reeds, the thick plants parting in front of him.

She reached out. "Wait! You didn't-"

Silence. He was gone, leaving her alone in the strange realm not of her world.

"Just abandon me, why don't you..."

Turning back to the river, she planted hands on her hips, studying the strange land around her. "No, but seriously. Where am I...?"

Only idle ambiance answered her. It reminded her of a distant kingdom she'd read about once; one rich in history and magic. Long-gone now, with only ruins half-buried in the sands as the only sign it'd ever existed at all. But here, it looked fresh. New. Unspoiled, white pyramids of limestone and painted temples dotting the landscape towards the sun.

Was this his? Was this all this?

A small ache crept up her back. A scholar's ache, her body protesting that once again she'd been spending too much time sitting up straight.

With a sigh, she looked back to the reeds. To any sign that Ssalka would be-

She dismissed her thoughts with a half-hearted headshake. No. Why would he be watching? He was a demon from beyond the veil. Why would he waste time leering at a random scholar?

But then again...she couldn't help but feel his interest in her seemed like something more than curiosity. It was always the eyes. Always her attention coming back to them. Always this tiny voice inside of her squeaking out that his gaze wasn't friendly, wasn't curious. It was predatory.

She pushed down the voice as simple paranoia, walking to the river's edge. Finding a dry patch of dirt, she checked one last time if she was well and truly alone, then drew off her clothes. Boots first, then shirt. Her undergarments last, all folded neatly one on top of the other.

Turning around, she dipped her first testing toe into the water. It was cool; pleasantly chill against the evening sun that still sat across the horizon as a frozen giant.

Floria waded in, moving until the water came up to her chest.

One last, last scan that she was alone, then to the task of washing away her worries. She took her time, risking out her hair and making doubly sure to work out the kink on her back. Her eyes too, now feeling bleary and unfocused, like she'd been reading for hours on end.

The cool waters sapped away the aches, its briskness bringing a new wind of energy into her. When she was done, she treaded water back to the shoreline, water dripping off her body and a satisfied smile on her lips. She felt...good. The energy of a hot spring, but the alertness of a cold shower.

She stood in the sun for a moment, letting the heat of the air pull away the remaining wet. Dry enough, she fitted on her clothes, forced to her rump on the sandy beach to pull on her stubborn left boot. With a final tug, it slotted into place over her foot, and she stood up with a hop.

Floria worked her neck, relishing the refreshing bath. "Gotta admit, Ssalka. That's the best bath I've had in a..."

Her words trailed into nothing as a new, pleasant wispy sensation drifted through her.

A scent. The aroma of fresh food. Cooked meat and crisp plants mixing together in a mouth-watering, stomach-growling combination that nearly lifted her off her feet. Her brain took a backseat as she made that first step towards the source, its trail weaving between the reeds.

She pushed them aside, following her belly like a loyal dog. Following it through the high plants until she tore away a final towering group of reeds to a clearing beyond.

To a table, sitting on a floor smooth polished marble. A table with food; cooked bird and grapes and cut apples and wine, overflowing cornucopias of succulent delights pouring out and straddling across pristine plates.

On one end of the table, Ssalka. Arms folded, looking over the meal with a sense of self-satisfied calm.

His eyes wandered to her. "Ah!" he intoned, rising from his lower body. "And here I thought you would be spending eternity in my river."

Floria took a testing step forward, fighting the drool pooling in her mouth. "Did you make this?"

He pretended a frown. "Ah, this. Apologies. On such short notice, I had to throw something together."

She looked to the cushion on the other end of the table. Situated in front of steaming lumps of cut beef, and roasted duck. And in a bowl, tiny beads of maroon, shining in the evening sun's golden light.

"Are those grapes?" she asked.

He nodded.

"...I love grapes."

"I thought you might."

She walked over, sitting down on the cushion, facing her host. Looking across the bounty on the table, her mind guiding her hand to the first and full grape in the bowl.

Manners stayed her hand. She recoiled, desperate not to offend the serpent even now looking on her with a confident smile.

He darted his tongue. "Is there a problem?"

"Is there...a protocol for this? Some forbidden table etiquette I'm supposed to learn?"

"No. You are my guest, Floria Alwinday. I wouldn't go through the trouble just for you to agonize over such...little things like which spoon to use."

"Oh. Huh. In that case, thank you."

He inclined his head.

Floria's stomach demanded its fill in an angry churn. It goaded her to grasp a fistful of grapes, tossing them into her mouth as a cluster. She chewed them, juicy flavor pouring out her mouth.

And so she went, tearing through the rest of the meal. Devouring everything she could, savoring every morsel she could swallow. This was the meal of a king or a Chief Librarian. So very, very far beyond the gruel and rare stolen treat she usually "enjoyed". So lost in the pleasure of her meal that she forgot where she was, scarfing down meat and fruits in single bites. Eating it all until the last sliced bit of beef slid down her throat.

She leaned back, sighing in satisfied relief. Looking out on the remains of her ravenous rampage, empty bones and ribs and the cores of fruits splayed out across the table.

"That's about the best meal I've ever had, Ssalka."

He grinned. "I aim to please."

She picked up a stray rip, working it between her teeth. "That's the thing I can't figure out about you."

"Oh?"

"When you first said you wanted to teach me, with no strings attached, I figured it was some kind of ploy to steal my soul or you were playing some kind of long con. Then I come here, against my better judgement, and instead of sealing me away for eternity or something, you treat me to a nice meal. That's what I don't get. What do you get out of this, Ssalka?"

He rose his head. "Is that a formal question?"

His tone carried a small twinge of warning. Not anger, but...something else. Concern?

Maybe it was the food or the wine, but she decided to press. "Let's say it is. What's your plan for me?"

Ssalka was still. Thinking. Coils winding under his weight.

"That...I can't reveal. Not yet."

He stared into her before she could answer. "But remember my oath. No harm upon you, Floria Alwinday. I swear it."

She shrugged. "Then I guess we're at an impasse, huh?"

"Not an impasse. In due time, I'll reveal this along with so many other things." He stared out to the river with a wistful sigh. "Ah, if only you could stay here forever..."

He

quickly turned back. "But you have obligations. I will not keep you. I promised a bath and a meal, and have delivered. If you're ready, I may send you back."

She worked a final grape down her mouth, swallowing it whole. "Oh. Yeah, I think I am? So are you gonna open another portal or...?"

Ssalka raised his hand, two claws together. "Please," he rumbled, "remember who you're speaking with."

He counted. Eyes glowing with power.

"One."

"Two."

His eyes flashed shining amber. "Three."

He snapped his claws.

In an instant, he was gone. The world's heat and the meal's fragrance, all to nothing in a moment's passing.

She was sitting.

Face-down, on her desk.

In her room.

A small pool of drool next to her mouth.

She sat up, leaning back in her chair.

"Bluh?"

Her memories jumbled, the moments before her waking scattered into pieces like a dream. She half-expected them to fade, dissolving into nonsense as dreams always did.

But they didn't. They remained, strong and clear. Not a dream. Memories.

New sensations. The pleasant fullness of a meal in her belly. The cloying, earthy scent of the clear river's waters on her skin.

Not a dream.

"Not a dream," she whispered.

She really had gone there. To Ssalka's realm. And back in one piece.

Her eyes moved to the portal, where the circle lay undisturbed. She pushed herself away from the desk, walking over to the circle and tapping it with her finger.

The urge to call him rose in her. She couldn't explain why; a distant but need to see him again already.

Floria pulled her hand away, dismissing the thought. No. Too many times, and even as friendly as he was, she ran the risk of annoying him. And for something like him, that was a prospect that she wanted nothing to do with. She had a good thing going now, a being beyond normal time and space giving her free lessons. Almost treating her like a friend.

But...was he?

She thought back to the question she'd asked. What he really, truly had planned for her. And how he'd dodged it. The implication in his voice was that she wasn't ready. That he'd reveal it to her in due time. In the quiet of the moment, she looked to her journal. Her mind bursting with theories and explanations, demanding she write them down.

With everything that had happened, she almost forgot why she'd started her association with the creature at all.

Her thesis.

Her final, ninth thesis. Her application to the 9th Circle.

She had to write it. Had to send it off. Had to reveal to that ancient gaggle of mages that she was as worthy as anyone.

No. More than that. That she was beyond worthy. It wouldn't be enough to show the results of a few lectures with the Great Ssalka.

She had to know more. Understand more. When she released her knowledge, she wanted the world of magic to tremble in her presence. For her name to be remembered for all time, as the wisest mage to ever live.

Floria Alwinday would live forever.

Deep within her mind, her ego was already pulling together the threads of a true, unifying theory. A Theory of Everything.

She glanced to the portal.

She just needed a little more help...

From a friend.

--------------------------

The days melted together.

Before she knew it, it was the holidays. The library closed, buried under a mountain of snow in the season's chill. The library's staff reduced to a skeleton crew, the rest retreating into the colleges and their quarters to wait out the snow.

Normally the great library would take volunteers to run it during these stretches. But this year, not quite enough were industrious or insane enough to step up, forcing the oldest method of sortition there was: drawing straws.

Lay'sa drew the shortest.

Then broke down crying. She hadn't seen her family in a year.

With a heavy heart, Floria raised a reluctant hand and took her place. After all, she had a debt to repay.

She spent her days in the wing, alone under the white blanket that smothered the sunroof high above. Dusting books, noting inventory. Avoiding Praa'ta, though the dark elf had been treating her better as of late. A "noted improvement" in attitude, the dark elf said.

And in the evenings, lessons with Ssalka. With a whisper against the wall, he would come slithering out, always smiling. His eyes always gleaming that golden yellow that made her knees weak. Always so receptive to questions, and always taking an interest in her own struggles.

Every evening, a new question by her. A comprehensive answer, speaking in his pleasing voice until her curiosity was satisfied.

The holidays came and went. The snow receded, and the former staff shuffled back into their former routines.

Floria continued her work. Chasing the grand questions of the ages in her quarters, interrogating Ssalka ever-further. Asking questions of forbidden knowledge, dangerous mysteries that she'd always been cautioned against by wiser men.

And he'd answered them all the same. Like a parent answering their child's simple, silly questions. Even when the answers were bewildering in their implications.

Even when the answers were terrifying.

The spring turned to summer. Every day, Floria's mind churned with possibilities. Deep in her mind, the seed of her Theory of Everything had blossomed into a small sapling. It was coming together. She could see its full glory into the future, shining bright as galaxies.

Spring slid into Autumn. Her meetings with Ssalka were routine now, full of lively warmth and the spirited exchange of ideas. More and more, he would invite her to tour his realm. To walk among the great stone temples and pyramids that lined that eternal horizon, gazing up at the pillars as high as mountains.

He'd built it all himself, he'd tell her. After all, he'd had a lot of time.

All the time in the world.

And as winter approached again, so did the holidays. This time, Floria volunteered outright. Lay'sa was nowhere to be seen.

She'd been accepted into the College of Ages. A very respectable institution.

Life was moving on, and Floria was still stuck building her great thesis.

It was almost done. So close she could taste it, taste the victory as her discoveries shocked the world.

But a small, tiny voice had started to give her pause. What then? When she revealed what she knew, she'd already be the greatest scholar to ever live. Then what? What else was there? Build on the legend? Build on perfection?

And then, Ssalka. What about him? When she was accepted into the 9th Circle, what would become of their partnership? She'd even asked him such a thing, and he laughed it off. His "door" would always be open, he said.

It was...comforting, in its own way.

On a particularly cold day, Floria sat alone in her quarters. At her desk, one finger tapping against her forehead.

She'd run into a complication.

All the knowledge that Ssalka had revealed was fitting together, and it all led back to a singular question that she'd been avoiding. That for all her inquiry, one that even she was afraid to find out the answer to. One she was afraid she wouldn't understand, or the answer would scare her away from magic forever.

But it had to be asked. The entire theory hinged upon it.

She'd already summoned Ssalka earlier that day.

After a long debate with herself, she summoned him again. Palm against the circle, his name spoken aloud.

He slithered out of the shining gate, smiling as usual.

"Ah!" he piped. "Floria! A second visit for today?"

She sat on her cushion, nodding. "Yeah. I hate to bother you, but..."

"Nonsense. I always enjoy your company." A twinge of concern rose in his eyes. "And it looks like you have a rather pressing question, if I might add."

"Mmmhm. Might be kind of a weird one, too."

He coiled up in his spot, waiting on her query. "Then ask away."

She breathed in through her nose, out through her mouth. Here went nothing.

"I think my theory's ready, thanks to you. And I really, really can't tell you how grateful I am."

"The pleasure was all mine."

"-But, I'm stuck. I've tried to piece together what you've told me by myself as best I could, but now I'm left with two competing theorems. Either one is correct, or the other is. And it all hinges on the answer to a single question. If I have that, yes or no, I'll have my theory. I'll have my ticket to the 9th Circle of Mages."

Ssalka's eyes glittered with expectancy.

"Ssalka. I want to know..."

Deep breaths.

"...Does free will exist?"

An affable smile.

"No."

The bluntness of his answer caught her blind. She leaned back, one brow raised. "Uh. I didn't-"

"What? You were expecting a long and complicated answer? A nuanced synthesis?" He shrugged. "A thousand pardons, but that is the honest truth. It doesn't exist. It's a myth. A story. A very amusing story, but only that. A story."

"Then..."

"We are all players," he went on. "All pawns. All slaves to our starting conditions. Even myself."

Floria looked down at her folded legs. "That's a lot to drop on a girl."

"It is only the truth."

She looked up with a smirk. "Well I know it's the truth, Ssalka. You haven't lied to me yet. Just let me soak this in, okay?"

"By all means," he acquiesced.

She mumbled, voice low in a thoughtful patter. "So if free will isn't a thing...was I, what, always going to become a part of the 9th Circle? Was I always going to meet you? What's that mean for..."

Ssalka patted his scales. "Such in-decision," he sighed in a singsong voice. "The very thing that makes free will a question at all. Such...uncertainty. It does things to the mind. Such awful, awful things."

She looked up. He was staring straight at her, his slit pupils gazing into her. "Is that why you always seem to be in such a good mood?" she asked.

"A part of it. But I'm always in a good mood when you're around, Floria Alwinday."

His

eyes flashed a ring of autumn brass. A gentle, seizing warmth that tugged at her heart, bringing her to lean closer. She caught herself, leaning back up straight with a newfound resolve. Now wasn't the time for a nap.

"Feeling's mutual," she replied. "You've been a really good teacher, Ssalka."

"Have I? Ah, there lies the curse of regrets. Lessons I've could've explained better. Better words unused, clearer analogies..."

She shot up a hand. "No, seriously. You've been a really big help. I appreciate everything you've done."