All Comments on 'The Girl in the Window Pt. 04'

I enjoyed the story, sadly I wished the mother-in-law would have gotten sold by the Texas Court.

You should continue her tale. If not under this story, then a new one. Sugar Snatch maybe? As you left off, they could go back to the pony ranch and she could learn about Lois's branding experience as well as help her motivate/reward her stallions. Then the slave court experience and any problems there that may make her remain a slave for her original contract length. Agatha could easily face her own problems. Might be interesting to see her punishment. Maybe they both have to spend the next 7 years, I think that was the length, as slaves? Agatha could get the court slave brand which would put her at a 'lower' level than Natalie's Big D Prime branding. There is also the story possibilities of her friends from the slave yoga classes. Do they get a little too intrigued with the idea as well? Maybe the upper class NY social scene goes through a transformation with the ladies social competition becoming a slave rank bragging rights pecking order? How many remain their master's choice through time and how many watch themselves replaced by new wives? They would be just slaves then anyway.

just think all 4 part are great reading. sorry the writer keeps wanted to close out the story. there are just so many stories that could come out of this. i can think of 2 or 3 ideas, like can't over turn the sale, or Brad just keeps as his person slave and there is the revenge Natalie could get on her mother in law to include getting he double branded too. just think out loud..

good ending

Great read

It was to bad that Brad wife didn’t any revenge on good old mother in law, if anyone needed branded twice and road hard to bring her down a peg or two it was the mother in law. Please think about adding another chapter to finish up unfinished business..

Great story line! Thank your for posting it and thank you for the hard work and time taken to write it. As a sidebar comment, might not be a bad idea for a separate story line to see the mother-in-law get some sort of cum(pun intended)uppance. I read the comments and the fans, like me, seem to feel that the mon-in-law might make an interesting story line. Either way, great stories........thank you.

please just one more part. just to close at least ending to mother in law payback, and her slave status please..

Freedom in Slavery

Natale a part of the Hampton's elite wants to know how much she'd fetch on the auction block. Instead of mere slave grading, she decides to go to the block signing over herself to her husband, Brad who puts her up for sale at the Big D.

There's a strong hint that Brad's role is less than benign when Brad forces her to walk naked and bare foot across the molten asphalt of a Texas parking lot. Natalie laughs it off as part of the ritualized degredation.

Bought by her mother - in - law, the game becomes a nightmare. She's now a real slave used as a pony girl on Agatha's farm. This story, as many of the stories about The Big D, presents the heartache of placing yourself in a vulnerable position, relying on the integrity of others.

Will she regain her clothes and position? Read the series.

Absolutely loved the turns in the ending. I was afraid of a negative, but the flips were awesome. So creative and even random. Please everyone keep writing. And why not publish, I would so buy as an incentive.

another super story by this author ! really needs a part #5 close all the open ending. just hoping for closure..

one more chapter please so Natalie/Sugar Snatch gets revenge on her mother in law/Agatha, maybe she gets two branding too. then maybe the husband should take both of them for a pony girl cart ride too..

I've really enjoyed Natalie's adventures. Agree with the comment about starting a new series possibly entitled "Sugar Snatch." Also would like for her to actually have to retain her status as a registered slave, perhaps owned by Lois with an arrangement with her husband. Or, vice-versa.

Even if not, perhaps periodic stays at the pony ranch serving as a Picnic Pony and as an edger. She and Lois could have some good times together enjoying many of the activities that Lois has previously engaged in.

Ahh it can't end there! Or it can and you could start a new story about Natalie's pending adventures!

Awesome I just more please

Carl please, continue this story with a happy end!. You and Joe Doe are at another level!. Please keep going!

Here's a different ending idea:

The Texas Court fines the Big D $50,000 for acting without the authority of the ticket holder (Brad) and issues a "Cease and Desist" order on ANY CHANCE auctions for 6-months so lawyers and lawmakers can work out the issues surrounding this case.

Lois, who acted in good faith, held off bidding until Natalie came up for sale. If Natalie had not been there, Lois could have bought someone else, therefore Lois has been deprived of owning one more pony. The court rules that Lois retains ownership of Natalie (Sugar Snatch) for a period of up to 3 years to give her time to find a suitable replacement.

Brad, showed his commitment to his slave "wife" buy trying to buy her back from Lois so the court awarded him join ownership of Natalie but she must serve Lois for an average of 40 hours a week, schedule TBD with Brad.

The court came down hard on Agatha, who obviously acted with "malice aforethought" in attempting to separate Natalie from Brad. She was enslaved and sentenced to receive the "circle star" brand of a criminal. She was given to Lois for the same period that it takes to replace Natalie in payment for drawing Lois into her crooked scheme. Whether she received a Spinning Wheel brand or not was left to the discretion of Lois.

Brad sold off their property in New York and bought a nice ranch near the Spinning Wheel so he could be with Natalie every day. Natalie and Brad told Lois to please take as long as she needed to look for a new pony much to the chagrin of Agatha. "Giddy-up, fillies! With that Brad and his father-in-law rode off into the sunset.

A possible follow up story could be that Lois filed a complained at a Texan court with Agatha confirming to an investigator that that the any chance was always meant to be a game and that there was no plan at all to sell Natalie. They hire of course a lawyer and fly to Texas a week early to discuss the strategy. Of course Natalie arrives perfectly well dressed and not sorry at all. The lawyer explains that according Texan law Natalie is still a slave and needs to be presented as a slave. He will take Brad aside and explains that his ass is on the line as well and of course his mother faces punishment as well. The lawyer explains that they need to show their good intention and that they see Natalie as the slave she is. All that could happen at a fancy business dinner at which they make a strip down butt naked place on the collar and handcuff her behind her back and gag her. Maybe with some witnessing friends. They can then return to the lawyers house who will use Natalie and then suggests that they need to mark that slave so she is more presentable at court. Marks could be heavy paddling whip marks cutting into the flesh on ass pussy and tits. The lawyer could get a court hearing extension so Natalie can be market further showing older and newer marks. Maybe they can add some tit bondage and pierce the clit and push it out with a spring. The explanation to Natalie is that they always considered selling her and that she is a happy slave which she understands. At the end it needs to be clear that Brad is mainly concerned about saving his ass. When the court date finally arrives he pulls gagged Natalie by her breasts in ropes and ties her up on her tits with the toes just barely touching the ground. Her body shows black and blue marks older and newer explaining that he as the current legal master will speak for his slave. Arguments can go back and forth with Brad offering a plea deal that Natalie can be sold or given to a state run BDSM brothel after-all she is obviously a pleasure and pain slave in exchange for him and his mother get out free. The court accepts with the exception of a 5 year enslavement at a brothel for his mom as well.

"Here's a different ending idea:"

Cardman, I really do like your idea for the extended events following the end of this story, and personally would love to see it all played out as a follow-up story instead of an epilogue. Since the period of "up to three years" can be shorter, it's a great way to have Natalie have to 'endure' (Oh my no! Not the briar patch!) the collar for awhile, as she gets to narrate the course of events, without necessarily knowing how favorable or unfavorable the course of events might work out for her.

This is my first time commenting on your works, as I've only recently discovered the vast plethora you've written, and I am well impressed. You have a wonderful knack for narrative and pacing. Just out of curiosity, of all of your heroines across your set universe, have you ever written any that were either Asian-American or from the Pacific Rim? I'm just curious, because I'm Chinese-American myself, and don't find many ponygirl stories involving anyone from my familial heritage, and the BDSM stories that do, typically have 'Dragon Lady' stereotypes. Since your characters are much more grounded and with fleshed out personalities, I was looking forward to checking out the catalogue of stories you've written to see if any might already have existing characters resembling someone of my background!