All Comments on 'The Girl Next Door Pt. 04'

2nd story in 2 days where the main characters don't talk. Getting to know people who have no concern is greeeeeeaaaaaaaaaat! how about gracie n gabs actually talking! like its the whole reason I'm reading this. I feel the love between them! If you like frustrating readers you're doing a bang up job

You will understand why I'm writing it this way in the following chapters. I just hope it'll be satisfying. Thanks for leaving your feedback. I appreciate it.

You lost me with all the extra hero shit but good story just maybe wrong category

Great part, I am starting to figure all this out now I know Gracie is the tigeress and I am thinking that Damarco could be the hero that was shot 4 times but not sure yet will Gracie tell gabs who she is and will they get together for homecoming can't wait to find out

Is this just some stream of consciousness story??? A random flight of ideas cobbled together and trying to pass itself off as a coherent narrative ??? Eclectic?? No. Eccentric?? No. Enigmatic?? No. Exhausting?? Yes. Your trying to cram too much filling into the taco shell, and its spilling out all over creating a giant mess. The ideas are there, but the presentation is a frustrating mash up with no flow, that is moving forward in fits and starts. It's a classic case of losing the audience by overwhelming them with too many competing themes. The other comment about Gabs and Gracie not talking for two chapters perfectly exemplifies how this story has gone off the rails. I thought it was getting back on track in the previous chapter but this chapter was a literary train wreck.

I am attempting to follow this story, which is listed in the Lesbian Category, however, there seems to be mostly heterosexual activity / relationships including TRANS Erin / Andrew & Robert.

Gabs and Gracie are or appeared to be the primary characters of the lesbian component, however their relationship has been missing in action for 2-chapters. This results in my being "totally confused" on how this post is developing, in addition to it NOT being really a Lesbian romance story at this point.

I will wait for 1-additional chapter (Pt. 05) before rating PTs. 03 & 04. It is very difficult to fairly RATE this story due to the past 2-chapters being quite confusing to what is developing, as well as appearing not to be really a lesbian story.

The Girl Next Door is tied to a bunch of other stories within the same universe. I'm working with a friend of mine, Phoenix Cinders (Who also posts on Literotica) to build a fictional universe.

So this story is tied to Nightblade by Phoenix Cinders and the Golden Boy by Phoenix Cinders. Even though I write solely Sci-Fi/Fantasy lesbian Romance stories, Phoenix Cinders writes predominantly Trans Sci-fi/Fantasy Stories. You can find both of Phoenix Cinders stories on Literotica. I apologize for not putting this in sooner.

I will also be adding a few other stories that are directly related to this one. It's going to be a huge series all focused around a giant storyline. Not to compare, but it's our own little mini MCU. Probably not as good though.

When I finish, this will be an eBook which will be in the Tigress Series. I'm guessing it'll be a 3 book series, but I'm still working out the details. I've included a lot of Easter Eggs within this story to the greater story within the series.

Each mini series will be a 3-4 book.

Tigress will probably have 4 books within the series.

Nightblade will have her own series.

And same with The Vigilante(The Golden Boy) and Starlight.

Then there will be a series that evolves around the main event.

Disliked this one (sadly). 1 and 2 were great. 3 as well even though not much about Gracie and Gabs. 4 feels convoluted and the ending is ... dishonest (lacking a better word).

Basically Gracies love for Gabs is worth one kiss with someone else? Doesn't feel right.

Hopefully 5 will give some clarity and get to the point of things, otherwise this series might not be worth following.

Drama for dramas sake never was good or will ever be. At least for me. Don't get why other people love it so much.

then not only is this story a rudderless ship, but it's adrift in the wrong category.

You should definitely label it as trans seeing as how the original works the universe is based on are trans centric. If you had focused on the Gabs / Gracie storyline and had the universe revolve around them, maybe I could see the lesbian category being appropriate, but alas, you didn't do that. Like others have commented; Two chapters without a meaningful interaction between the two supposed main characters????

WTAF?????

I'm done with this mess.

The previous stories seemed to steer this into a coming together story of two friends that tragedy seemed to get in between and they grew apart due to life and wrong friends and interests interfering and now there is this one....a friend slides in between with a kiss that seemingly makes the one that is heartbroken over what she saw as disgust when she had came onto the one that she acted as if was the love of her life. I know that it is a cliche that teenager feelings are complicated and what not but this felt trashy and rushed to add another possible avenue but you seem to be leaving the discovery of Gab's feelings and her telling Gracie about why she recoiled all because Katie came up and spirited her away and Gracie let her do that without keeping the implied promise to talk later that day. I do not agree with the comment that this is in the wrong category here but it can feel or seem that way to some as there is no loyalty to the genre its labeled under if one is not paying attention to the feelings despite the author seeming to get away from the basis of the feelings if it is only to draw interest to the characters to drag out the story and rudely awaken the one character that is torn with her sexuality....I am holding out hope that Gab realizes soon and that Gracie rejects Katie sexual advances least til she can understand gabs more

I like your story Scarlet. Like life, not all stories can fit into a perfect category. I love that you have a nice variety going on here, although it does leave a reader wanting a bit more in terms of story progression.

And I did love the kiss at the end with Kate. Emotions are messy, and if you’re feeling rejected, it’s likely you’ll feel hungry for some affection when it comes your way. The kids seemed totally natural in my opinion. Keep it up girl! Oh and Part one shower scene had me quivering. Maybe more of that might be nice too.

I think you have copied a section from the Golden Boy and overlooked necessary editing needed to properly match the text with your character's point of view. In some sentences you have said things in first person when it should have been in third person. Like when Gracie is dropping Damarco, you've written:

---"As friends, right?" I ask---

It seems like Gracie is asking to go as friends, but it is actually something Damarco is saying. It also feels like Gracie is dropping Damarco at her own home.

I'm sorry but this story went from starting out promising to an absolute mess. If I had read this before I read the Rivals I probably would have never read the Rivals which I rated 5 stars at the end.

I am waiting for more of the Rivals and I will continue with Girl Next Door because of your follow up comments. I know you can write and I don't think my hopes will be dashed.

Sorry you didn't complete this ☹️☹️ Gabi needed to at least should be told she isn't wrong with her feelings for Gracie.

The superhero side also started well with a protagonist who could have been used to help Gracie show how superheros are people who can have feelings and life's.

Using protagonist to capture Gabi and Gracie having to save her and them attempt to have a relationship, yes Kate needs to be used to show that a quick kiss in a car doesn't define a relationship between the girls next door.

I hope that you continue this story. Need to find out how Gabi and Gracie progress, or is Kate going to get more involved. We need more!!

Oh my god even though i saw that coming... im so sad for gabs.. you keep breaking her heart... gracie doesnt deserve her... hope she finds some else

I promise you all it will have a happy ending, but the road to the happy ending will be paved in hardships, hard decisions, adversity and sorrow. Nothing will come easy for the protags and they will face some hard circumstances. Even though this is a romantic story, it's also a superhero novel and one that is more on the darker side of things.

Poor Gabs can't catch a break lol she can't even have 24hrs to realise she's gay before the whole world moves against her 😒

You got to continue this story. Mostly because I need to know if Gabby's bro is vigilante and/or if Stacey is secretly the mind reader manipulative bitch (or just a regular bitch) ... and why's she so obsessed with Tigress

oh my word....i'm really rooting for Gracie and Gabs...and now Kate gets tossed into the mix??? i'm at the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter....

Abandoned story... sigh

Please don’t stop this story it has grabbed my attention and can’t wait for the next part please!!

I hope the author comes back and finishes this. That cliff hanger was deep and brutal.

Good srory. Will it ever be finished?

what??? no more?? awwwww

I like this story.

But unfortunately, all the stories of scarletrose69 date back to 2020.

I'm afraid we will never get the end of this series.

I just hope the author is OK.