The Girls of Manchester Pt. 01

Elizabeth could see the pain and fear in Amanda's watery green orbs and she did not hesitate to wrap the girl in a hug.

"Don't change the subject, Lizzie." Amanda said, shrugging Elizabeth off. "Why does everyone ignore my wishes?"

"Maybe because everyone has thus far gone by your wishes and done nothing while you continued to suffer at the hands of Jessica and her pathetic little friends. Maybe because going by your wishes has done nothing to stop the bullying, and everyone else but yourself can see that. Have you considered that possibility?"

"Ugh." Amanda groaned, turning back towards her wall.

"Mandy, if you keep trying to run away, or just take it, it just tells them that you are an easy target. They will continue to make your life more miserable until the day you can take it no more. What will you do then if they drive you to that point? People as stable as you have been reduced to depressive sociopaths because of bullying, and-."

"So, I am a depressive sociopath?" Amanda interrupted.

"That is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that you need to consider alternatives before they do too much to damage you, possibly beyond the point where you can recover."

"I haven't reached that point." Amanda replied, turning back to Elizabeth once more.

"Yet." Elizabeth answered.

"It all seems so simple to you, doesn't it, Lizzie? You haven't had to live with this every day of your-." Amanda stopped in her tracks. She saw the hurt and pain in Elizabeth's eyes. Elizabeth had trusted Amanda with the deepest, darkest secrets of her life, although she was mum as to why she continued to endure them. Amanda felt wretched almost immediately and embraced Elizabeth in a hug. "I'm so sorry, Lizzie. I'm so, so sorry."

Elizabeth shrugged it off, though the lingering hurt was still in her eyes. It wasn't like Amanda at all to lash out. It was all the evidence, in Elizabeth's mind, that she needed to pursue the point further. She didn't. A consuming silence filled the room as the two girls fought desperately to find something to say when a flickering motion caught Elizabeth's attention. Her eyes were drawn to the computer screen where a woman was talking in sign language.

"What the-?" Elizabeth said, confused.

Amanda looked up from the bed and followed Elizabeth's gaze towards her computer screen.

"Oops. I forgot to pause that." Amanda said, getting up from the bed and walking to the computer.

"Why are you watching that?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Um, I met someone today." Amanda said, looking back towards Elizabeth. Elizabeth's eyebrows shot up instantly hearing those words. "Oh, no! Not like that! Just, someone at school."

"Well, this 'just someone' seems to have intrigued you enough to get you to learn sign language." Elizabeth replied. As she said this, she felt a bitter, crushing feeling begin to weigh on her heart. She passed it off as well as she could despite the fact that it stubbornly clung to her.

"Well, it's a girl." Amanda replied, causing Elizabeth to once again raise her eyebrows.

"Not like that, Lizzie! Can I at least explain?!" Amanda whined.

"You can, but you don't seem to be making much sense of things at the moment to explain." Elizabeth replied, her heart now feeling as though it were gripped in an icy tomb.

"What I mean to say is-. God, how do I explain?" Amanda said, searching for words. "After what Jessica did to me today, I met a girl, or she met me. Or rather, she kind of ran into things after they happened while on the way to her bus. She stopped and talked with me for a bit."

"That doesn't explain the sign language." Elizabeth said, noting a strange sense of jealousy in her own voice.

"She is mute- I think. She understands me when I speak to her, but she speaks in sign language. She said she wanted to be friends, and she is so kind to me. She says she has good feelings about me, and-."

"You really need to be careful." Elizabeth said, slipping into her role of protector. "You have no idea who this girl is or what she wants. Is she from here? I would think I would have heard of her before."

"Her name is Sam, but from what I gather, she and her sister are both new to the school. I met her sister as well. They seem so nice and genuine, Lizzie. I would like to be friends with them."

"Really? What grade are they in?" Elizabeth asked, ready to take mental notes in case she had to pound two girls into the dust.

"I didn't ask, I don't think. Or I don't remember. I was pretty upset. Jessica broke Grandma's mirror." Amanda replied, looking down at the floor just as she clicked the x icon on the screen.

"I heard. That's why Jessica is now a walking advertisement for how meat packing plants put deformed creatures out of their misery."

"Oh, my God." Amanda chuckled despite herself. "You really need to stop that."

"Sorry, I can't help it sometimes."

"Any of the time." Amanda retorted.

Elizabeth stuck out her tongue in reply but said nothing.

"They're really nice, Lizzie. I would like to have some more friends. I mean, you're not going to be-." Amanda stopped herself, looking down at the ground again.

Elizabeth did not have to hear the rest of the sentence. Of course, their situation was not lost on Amanda. The girl was, after all, quite brilliant. Elizabeth had been struggling with how to bring the conversation up, yet here was a good opportunity. Elizabeth, however, could not do it. She was struggling with the emotions and stress that thinking about it had given her all summer long. Clearly, the same concerns and emotions were on the mind of Amanda as well, so much so that she was desperate to gain some new friends.

It was not a nice feeling in Elizabeth's mind to know Amanda was seeking out the company of others. It felt like Amanda was trying to replace her, and that thought left a gaping void in her mind. She did not like the idea of being replaced, especially with someone she did not personally know. The way she saw it, there were two ways this could go. Either she could find out about this girl and get to know her, see if she was worthy of Amanda. Or, she could keep her away from Amanda, and perhaps cause some sort of hostility between them that she could not fix. In that situation, though, Amanda would be safest. It was a hard decision and Elizabeth knew she would have to think about it longer to come up with a decision. Amanda seemed to like this girl enough to learn sign language, what if there was more to it despite Amanda's denials? Elizabeth knew she would have to consider that as well.

"Give them a chance- for me, please?" Amanda asked, giving Elizabeth her best pouting look.

"I wasn't going to do anything!" Elizabeth protested.

"I know you better than that Elizabeth Marie Greene." Amanda quipped. "I appreciate what you have done for me, although I do not agree with how you do it. I need this, I do. I need some sort of hope."

It was Elizabeth's turn to look down at the floor, crossing her legs below the knee as they dangled over the edge. She saw Amanda's feet approach and stop right in front of her. Amanda got down on her knees in front of Elizabeth, crossing her arms across Elizabeth's lap and looking at her with watery, emerald-like orbs.

"I need to know I have some sort of hope, Lizzie. I owe this to myself. I can't say any more than this because I'm not exactly ready for this conversation yet- I need to know it is at least possible because I am more afraid of being completely alone."

Elizabeth's eyes were misting now, the water condensing into round drops which trickled down her cheeks in a slow, mournful cascade. She felt Amanda's arms wrap around her waist, the girl resting her head in her own lap.

"I love you, Lizzie. Please don't cry." Amanda pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said quietly through the sniffles," it just hurts to think about it."

"Me too." Amanda replied, burying her face in Elizabeth's lap.

"I don't want, I mean-. "Elizabeth said, trying to say what she wanted to without falling into a hysterical mess in front of Amanda. This was not what she came here to do. "Why is it so hard to explain this?"

"Let's not, then." Amanda replied through sniffles of her own.

"We need to at some point, Mandy." Elizabeth said trying to reassert control over an ocean of feelings tossing violently about in her mind.

"Please, not now. I can't do it. I've already said too much, and it hurts." Amanda replied, tightening her hold around Elizabeth's waist.

Elizabeth sighed as she stroked Amanda's soft hair, wondering what she could do to make the inevitable hurt less. Their impending separation was still nearly a year away, yet she already felt like she was dying inside. She was surprised and dismayed at the depth of her feelings for the vulnerable girl in her lap. There was no point of comparison for her, nothing in her experience she could use to relate to these feelings, yet she had no one else but Amanda with whom she could entrust them to. That, she felt, would probably confuse their situation even more, and bring even greater pain to the fact that once Elizabeth left for college, they would not be around each other as much as they wanted to. In fact, it would be likely that they might never see each other again despite her innermost desire to be there for Amanda long after she left for college. Ever the pragmatist, however, Elizabeth knew the chances of that were slim to none. It would take an awful lot for their feelings and friendship to survive that length of separation intact as it was.

Elizabeth noticed Hope's back beginning to rise and fall in a nearly rhythmic pattern, and smiled with bitter remorse at the fate the world had in store for them. Life could often be cruel and unfair. Her own life up to that point had proven that much. It seemed even more so when Amanda and herself both knew of the cruel fates in store for them and their friendship, yet they could do nothing to halt it. It was there, seemingly hurtling towards them like a meteor, or a train hurtling towards the damsel in distress who had been bound up and laid across the tracks. This time there would be no last-minute rescue, no knight in shining armor who could save the day. All that would be left was the bitterness of remembrance.

Elizabeth was determined, then, to help Amanda enjoy what time they had left together. It had to start somewhere, and Amanda at least had a good idea in that they needed to get some rest. Tomorrow was a new day, and Elizabeth needed to start making some plans- soon. She shook Amanda's shoulder slightly.

"Mandy?"

"Hmmm?" Amanda hummed, not bothering to lift her head.

"Mandy. I don't think falling asleep like that is going to be comfortable for you." Elizabeth said.

Amanda mumbled something incoherently to which Elizabeth chuckled. Amanda was so cute when she got tired.

"Come on, Mandy." Elizabeth said, getting up from the bed to Amanda's protests. Amanda made a pouting face as Elizabeth pulled the covers aside and half-pulled, half-lifted Amanda into the bed and covered her up. Elizabeth was not wanting any part of going home tonight. For once, she wanted to be safe from the monstrous depravities that her stepfather was capable of. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her jeans off before heading across the room to switch off the light.

By the time she reached Amanda's bed, the redhead was already out. Elizabeth climbed underneath the covers and wrapped an arm around Amanda's waist. She laid stock-still, not willing to disturb Amanda's sleep any. She felt her own eyelids grow heavy, the seeping darkness creeping into her eyes until she could resist the gentle pull of sleep no longer. Conscious thought gave way to the oblivion of the nightmare world that had long dominated her dreams, where she would not be able to escape until she somehow forced herself to wake once more for yet another day.