All Comments on 'The Godmother'

A well written short erotic story, well done.

It's believable which makes it more exciting.

There are one or two small errors which a read through will reveal but that did not spoil the pleasure.

chapter 2

This was well written. Suggestion: before posting, read your story out loud to yourself. It's easy to find errors that way or to think of a better way to write a sentence. Actually, even with no sex between your characters, the story was highly erotic. Keep writing!

When you have two dialogs going I find it easier to read if they are at least separated by more than just a simple paragraph break. Some authors use a line of asterisks.

It obviously begs a sequel and you might want to consider writing two, one from him and one from her, and submitting them at the same time.

I have absolutely loved reading this first ( I hope ) chapter of your scrumptious story . The way you weave and lead us along is brilliant and like everyone else cannot wait for youto publish chapter 2 . Please dont make us poor folk wait to long .

Waiting for the next chapter.. love it..

I loved it. My only suggestion for chapter two would be to make it longer than one page.

Honest and real descriptions of panty sniffing and jerking. Many guys can relate to the thrill especially the first time. Diana can use her knowledge to full advantage and enjoy teasing and controlling Jake for her pleasure.

Yes please make the next chapter longer.

Great story, but as mentioned, a little longer please.

Excellent beginning to your tale! Very well written. Suggestion, please place "*****" between the changing of the points of view. It makes it a little easier to follow as to who's point of view the story is currently in.

I'm hoping she enjoys reading erotica of older women who enjoy having young men in bondage... she'd sounds like she loves to milk a cock of its cum.

I wrote this story a long time ago and only now decided to publish it and am glad I did! Thanks a lot for your positive feedback, I'm trying to do something a little bit different with every new story. Will definitely try to make them a bit longer, which is a bit hard at the beginning. Thanks again!

All women and young men should experience such uninhibited love